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In the Name of God بسم الله
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Yabnul_Taha

Things You Look For In A Potential Wife

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Interesting discussions. It could also serve an Islamic purpose as well. Let's say a guy that has weird expectations comes here and sees how the rest of the brothers put deen and imaan at the top of their lists, then perhaps he would think about it more and change his mind in sha Allah. It could also help all of us think about things which we may not have thought about before.

Though it is eventually going to be ruined by trolls and/or perverts, like all topics in brothers' forum

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Though it is eventually going to be ruined by trolls and/or perverts, like all topics in brothers' forum

This is, unfortunately, true. I didn't really think of it when I create the topic. If things get out of hand, though, I will PM a moderator to lock it in sha Allah.

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^ Add to that:

- At least 4000 hours experience with laundry.

- Can handle the youngest ones on her own and loves waking up at night to pacify the baby(s) and earn that jannah (exclusively) under her feet.

- Loves it when hubby's friends and relatives come over to visit. Cooks great meals for them as gratitude.

- Doesn't hold her own father in higher regard than the hubby. The hubby for her is the (only) unchallenged and halal little demigodlike master to obey and love as instructed by Islam.

- Loves the hubby a lot more or equally. Is very grateful to him for everything. Never forgets all his kindnesses. Quickly forgets any mistakes he makes and never recalls them, being unable to do so.

- Does not require an army of servants, the hubby, the children and any and all pedestrians outside to help her with each and every tedious little thing. Understands that they're all also doing important chores which also benefit her.

image.jpg

Tonsvi for life! Tonsvians unite!

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In addition to looks :), family, and etc my top 3 values are:

1) Deen

2) Positive Personality

3) Independence

I am also a sucker for connection. I was just introduced to a very beautiful Muslim girl with all the qualities above but I just couldn't feel it I didn't want to risk it so for no reason I stopped talking to her.

Edited by Ali-Reza

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As long as she's buff and funny there are no problems I can foresee...

A powerlifter then..

You'll have a tuff time keeping HER under control. You better be more buff than her, bRo!!

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i got a questions for you guys, would you prefer a girl brought up in the west or a girl from back home?

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i got a questions for you guys, would you prefer a girl brought up in the west or a girl from back home?

doesnt matter.

as long as she is sensible,and have the qualities i am looking for.

i dont live in west,but i dont have any problem marrying any western girl.

i also prefer girls outside my ethnicity.

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i got a questions for you guys, would you prefer a girl brought up in the west or a girl from back home?

Whether she is brought up in the West or 'back home'', she must have profound understanding of the home culture (which includes religion) and language. I don't seem to have patience for coconuts who have to be spoonfed like foreigners about the subtleties of home culture.

She and I must also share a common language with advanced proficiency. Otherwise there might remain a communication gap between us.

I'm eastern born and bred and currently live in the East. I have also spent over half a decade in Europe for purposes of higher education and work.

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For those who were confused about Marble's statement about coconuts, he was referring to westernised brown people. who like a coconut have a brown appearence on the outside, but think and behave like a white person on the inside.

Bananas is another term for asians, who are 'yellow' (quote unquote) on the outside, and behave like they're white.

what about people who are white on the outside, but brown on the inside?

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what about people who are white on the outside, but brown on the inside?

ya i think most of us are...sun is too darn hot makes everyone brown :)

But on serious note, we the followers of Ahlulbayt should really stay away racism and racial remarks it doesn't fit our madhab

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ya i think most of us are...sun is too darn hot makes everyone brown :)

But on serious note, we the followers of Ahlulbayt should really stay away racism and racial remarks it doesn't fit our madhab

Right brother, it doesn't. As followers of Ahlulbayt (as) we should steer away from looking at race. As for a potential spouse for me, I don't care what race she may be, only things I would care about is her faith in Islam and her good manners. Everyone is an odd mixture of different ethnic backgrounds anyways. Right?

Edited by Hassan5785

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what about people who are white on the outside, but brown on the inside?

Those don't exist. White Westerners are not acculturated to the so-called brown cultures. There is no mixed society to make it happen. In countries where Westerners did move to in large numbers, there they maintained and created their own culture, different and distinct from the indigenous culture. South Africa I have in mind. Australia too.

But of course agreed with all you that racism is bad in all its manifestations, wherever it comes from.

Edited by Marbles

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i got a questions for you guys, would you prefer a girl brought up in the west or a girl from back home?

Well, considering that the west IS back home for me, it doesn't really matter. There are [Edited Out]py people from the east and the west. I can give examples off the top of my head of really good Muslims that have grown up only in the west, as well as the east. I can also name quite a few bad Muslims from the west and the east. Location growing up doesn't matter too much. As long as we have a common language, I could care less about where she is from.

Those don't exist. White Westerners are not acculturated to the so-called brown cultures. There is no mixed society to make it happen. In countries where Westerners did move to in large numbers, there they maintained and created their own culture, different and distinct from the indigenous culture. South Africa I have in mind. Australia too.

If you knew me but didn't know that I'm white, you would think I'm pretty damn brown (desi) :P

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I would love it if she knew Arabic, so that she could teach it to me. :D

And which dialect would you prefer to learn? :donno:

The strange Egyptian language which Misris call Arabic, or the harsh Bedouin dialect of the Nejd, or. . .

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(salam)

Race is not an important factor in a potential spouse. What matters is good manners and faith.

Except that in reality, it does matter.. Specially if you're from a traditional family.

Race is the most important factor followed by Reputation and Physical beauty.

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