Jump to content
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!) ×
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!)
In the Name of God بسم الله
Sign in to follow this  
Nugii

Marrying A Lebanese

Rate this topic

Recommended Posts

I'm an 18 year old Iraqi girl who lives in Denmark. So I've known this Lebanese guy for a couple of weeks now from work and we talk frequently to eachother. I am starting to have feelings for him and vice verse but i wanna keep it halal :P.

He is Lebanese and 3 years older than me, Soo.... the problem im facing is that he is Sunni and I don't know how to tell my parents about him. I'm scared that they would never let a marriage between an Iraqi and Lebanese happen because of the culture background etc.

So what do you think? Is it Okay to marry a Lebanese Sunni guy or should i just stick to Iraqi guys :P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

(salam)

As the brothers already said the issue isn't his nationality, it's his religion.

There are many things that can be compromised* when selecting a partner (looks, previous marriages, financial situation, cultural differences) but I don't think religion is one of them.

Wallahu A'lam

*when I say 'compromised' I don't mean that there is anything wrong with these things, but sometimes they are included in people's criteria for spouse selection

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Salaams,intuitively my answer would be: it depends how extreme he is in his views. If he has a bias towards the sunni side, but doesnt worship the sahaba and has a more balanced, open minded and pragmatic view of things, then it could work. The only problem might be him becoming for fanatical and extreme as he gets older.

Which is a very common practice among secular Muslims (Sunnis and Shias both).

Once men's 'abilities' to commit sins decrease with old age, they grow a beard and make the lives of their kids hell by pulling them along for long tarawih salat - it's comical but it's so real. LOL

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The problem is more his sect than his race, race issues are nonexistent in the shari`a. There are plenty of single Shi`i guys out there (Lebanese too, if you like that) and they'd be better for your religion and your children. Ask this man if he wants to convert to Shiism, and if he's not interested, then move on. If he is interested, then wait to see if his belief is genuine or not. If you see evidence that he is sincere in his beliefs, then marry him.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Intersect marriages depend on the two people and how much they practice their religion. Ask about his crowd and how strongly he feels about them, and ask how strongly his family feels about the relationship most likely the sunni family will be hesitant as well. Both are Muslim at the end of the day :).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Being that he is Lebanese and you're Iraqi shouldn't be a problem especially since the cultures have similarities BUT religion is very difficult. Think about your future children and how they will be raised and about family gatherings and the differences between the two sects. If you think you can convert or he can convert than that is a horrible idea because if someone converts only for marriage it never works out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Marrying a Sunni? and a Lebanese Sunni?

Why don't you go marry Yazid instead.

My husband has a few sunni Lebanese on his facebook. They like to go preach and are all borderline salafi extremist when it suits them or makes them feel tough. Then right under those posts he usually has some pictures of him with his sister at a BBQ or something....with sister usually looking like a streetwalker in a mini skirt and too much makeup.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The niece of a friend of mine married a young Sunni Lebanese man last year. Before marriage he professed an interest in Tashayyu' and even started praying Shi'i style. Shortly after marrying, he dropped all pretenses of embracing Shi'ism and went back to his old ways. Come Muharram time, my friend's niece didn't attend a single majlis, and she couldn't even be bothered turning up at our Arba'een lecture.

Take it from me - when you marry a Sunni, particularly a Lebanese Sunni, you will have to compromise your faith, and good luck having your children brought up as anything other than lovers of the first three ...

Edited by Abdul Qaim

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Problem with Lebanese Sunnis now a days (most but not all) is that, they might not follow their religion, but Lebanon is going throw sectarian problems, so most Sunnis have very strong unconditional hate towards Shia in an ugly way..

My husband has a few sunni Lebanese on his facebook. They like to go preach and are all borderline salafi extremist when it suits them or makes them feel tough. Then right under those posts he usually has some pictures of him with his sister at a BBQ or something....with sister usually looking like a streetwalker in a mini skirt and too much makeup.

But I don't think thats very legit..we got many Lebanese Shia that are even worse.. :shifty:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

But I don't think thats very legit..we got many Lebanese Shia that are even worse.. :shifty:

Yes true....but the point is he will try to use his religious beliefs against her even if he is not following or truly believing. He will criticize everything about her eventually and most likely his family will too...she will be the black sheep and looked down upon....they will do this even though they probably don't even follow their religion but will expect that she follow their way perfectly.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm an 18 year old Iraqi girl who lives in Denmark. So I've known this Lebanese guy for a couple of weeks now from work and we talk frequently to eachother. I am starting to have feelings for him and vice verse but i wanna keep it halal :P.

He is Lebanese and 3 years older than me, Soo.... the problem im facing is that he is Sunni and I don't know how to tell my parents about him. I'm scared that they would never let a marriage between an Iraqi and Lebanese happen because of the culture background etc.

So what do you think? Is it Okay to marry a Lebanese Sunni guy or should i just stick to Iraqi guys :P

you have options

A- only Mutah with him see how it goes

B- are u a serious practising shia 12er imami yourself ? if yes then dont marry a sunni if no who cares ? sunni better than nonmuslim

C- You live in denmark and you got interested in a lebanese guy ??? what about all the danes there ? convert them to shia or muslim

Edited by Panzerwaffe

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm an 18 year old Iraqi girl who lives in Denmark. So I've known this Lebanese guy for a couple of weeks now from work and we talk frequently to eachother. I am starting to have feelings for him and vice verse but i wanna keep it halal :P.

He is Lebanese and 3 years older than me, Soo.... the problem im facing is that he is Sunni and I don't know how to tell my parents about him. I'm scared that they would never let a marriage between an Iraqi and Lebanese happen because of the culture background etc.

So what do you think? Is it Okay to marry a Lebanese Sunni guy or should i just stick to Iraqi guys :P

According to my knwledge . lebanese sunni or christain .. they r not extremist and they like shias and respect imams.

Im not an arab so i cant say for sure. BUt why dont u try convincin him to convert or atleast get to knw his views on imams. Maybe if he has respect later in times he will for sure become a shia. But its not a terrible choice. This is the time to speakup and clearup doubts. Im sure it will workout. wasalam

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm an 18 year old Iraqi girl who lives in Denmark. So I've known this Lebanese guy for a couple of weeks now from work and we talk frequently to eachother. I am starting to have feelings for him and vice verse but i wanna keep it halal :P.

He is Lebanese and 3 years older than me, Soo.... the problem im facing is that he is Sunni and I don't know how to tell my parents about him. I'm scared that they would never let a marriage between an Iraqi and Lebanese happen because of the culture background etc.

So what do you think? Is it Okay to marry a Lebanese Sunni guy or should i just stick to Iraqi guys :P

His ethnicity shouldn't matter, but depends on the guy's views if he's extreme and criticizes people for their beliefs then don't marry him. It's for the best interests to marry someone who's Shia. I almost married a Bengladeshi Sunni sister and I'm Shia and of mixed Thai and Iranian heritage. It's not ethnicity that's a problem it's the conflicting views.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm an 18 year old Iraqi girl who lives in Denmark. So I've known this Lebanese guy for a couple of weeks now from work and we talk frequently to eachother. I am starting to have feelings for him and vice verse but i wanna keep it halal :P.

He is Lebanese and 3 years older than me, Soo.... the problem im facing is that he is Sunni and I don't know how to tell my parents about him. I'm scared that they would never let a marriage between an Iraqi and Lebanese happen because of the culture background etc.

So what do you think? Is it Okay to marry a Lebanese Sunni guy or should i just stick to Iraqi guys :P

(bismillah)

(salam)

It depends about the person but if I were you I wouldn't marry a sunni guy, the reason is not because he is a sunni. The reason is because sunni's have different beliefs with us and in marriage it might bring some problem. To be honest and I don't really want to judge our sunni brothers and sisters, but I have heard sometimes some unbelievable beliefs of them and it make me really sad that they go so far that they will believe it and doesn't give place for questioning the authenticity and sensness of that specific belief. If you want to get an example, you can check some of their hadiths.

So be careful on whom you will choose, nationaility doesn't matter much in the end. Most important aspect is that the person is good who loves Allah (SWT) and AhlulBayt (as). Why loving Ahlul-Bayt (as) is so important? Because that would show his seriousness about right teachings of Ahlul-Bayt (as) and remember Allah (SWT) have chosen them.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Unfortunately, I would agree with most of the above posts. The idealistic view of things is that you're both Muslim so it's fine, but realistically the fact that you're of different sects will probably play a big part in your future and your kids futures.

I'll give a few examples, for eg Muharram, this is a month of mourning for us, yet is celebrated by many Sunni's. Also Ramadan, possibly fasting on different days and lailat al qadr days being different.

Again as people have mentioned it also depends on how open/accommodating he is to Shia beliefs and whether they are genuine beliefs.

I'm the type of person who is open to things, and was once of the view that Shia/Sunni marriages could work, but I've had discussions with Sunni friends about certain things, and I know that marrying one may be problematic for me. As sayedamir2000 said, it is not because they're Sunni but because of some of the different aspects of belief they hold in comparison to us.

Again it's up to you, the point of my post is basically as you see on some labels 'proceed with caution' :P I'm joking haha but good luck and inshallah if it's meant to be it will be. Also as others have mentioned, ethnicity should not really be an issue for you, as long as you like the person :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

According to my knwledge . lebanese sunni or christain .. they r not extremist and they like shias and respect imams.

Im not an arab so i cant say for sure. BUt why dont u try convincin him to convert or atleast get to knw his views on imams. Maybe if he has respect later in times he will for sure become a shia. But its not a terrible choice. This is the time to speakup and clearup doubts. Im sure it will workout. wasalam

lol I say the exact OPPOSITE of this all the time. Some of my lebanese family are Christian Orthodox and are sooo extreme. Most of the men 40+ were part of a Christian militia and wear a black arm band for all the Muslims they killed. :/ When I think Lebanese I think Christians vs Muslims vs Jews

To the poster:

I seriously considered marrying a leb sunni myself (ironically this time last year). He was fine with our remaining in different sects at first but eventually the differences drove us apart - eg. attending a majlis be syed Fatima (as) freaked him out. Inshallah he converts and you live happily ever after!!!!

Edited by Django

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

See if you can covert him to become a shia? Then you can marry him AND you get the blessings of converting someone. win/win. :P

And to answer the question...your parents shouldnt care about ethnicity but obviously it happens sometimes. Whats weird for me as a non-arab is why it would be a big deal? Im sure there are SOME cultural differences but it cant be THAT different....right? Or am I totally off? :P I thought Arabs in general have very similar cultures...?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Make sure you have a lot of things covered in the marriage contract.

You can also write out a compatability test. The Question in coloumn 1, your answer in column 3, fold the last column under so he can't she your answers, and he writes in column 2 while you watch him.

My second did this. Unexpectedly, I got "100" ---we both had the same answers.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Im italian I converted from orthodox to islam im married to lebonese shia im so happy with my dession and ive never been happier ... doesnt matter who u marry you at end of day as long as u love each other and respect each other that all that matters shouldnt matter what sector he is from either we are all one and are all from Allah do what's in ur heart my family didnt except but I fought for the love had for my husband that was enough for my family expect family always love u what ever dession u make inshallah good luck

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...