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In the Name of God بسم الله

Arranged Marriages

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  • Advanced Member

Even though this was posted in the sisters forum, until now only brothers have contributed. :P

^ Unfortunately you do get such situations with parents forcing marriage onto their children; obviously I don't agree at all with these forced marriages. Arranged marriages should be up to the individual. If a person is happy with their parents choosing a potential spouse for them, I see no harm even though I can think of reasons as to why that route would not be suitable for others.

Edited by *Sayyeda*
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Even though this was posted in the sisters forum, until now only brothers have contributed. :P

^ Unfortunately you do get such situations with parents forcing marriage onto their children; obviously I don't agree at all with these forced marriages. Arranged marriages should be up to the individual. If a person is happy with their parents choosing a potential spouse for them, I see no harm even though I can think of reasons as to why that route would not be suitable for others.

Islamic marriges when you meet face to face, or see pictures are actually the worse kind. This is because looks plays a huge role when you do not know enough of someones personality. Through these meetings, people only put their best foot forward and you do not know their true sense.

The western way where you meet them in a normal context , learn about them, know more about who they are ect is so much better.

I won't be getting married anyway. I am more than just a mere animal who needs to be judged on my physical appearance for 'mating'. Forget that. I am too proud to be looked down upon as 'genetically' inferior by any 'female'.

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  • Advanced Member

Islamic marriges when you meet face to face, or see pictures are actually the worse kind. This is because looks plays a huge role when you do not know enough of someones personality. Through these meetings, people only put their best foot forward and you do not know their true sense.

The western way where you meet them in a normal context , learn about them, know more about who they are ect is so much better.

I won't be getting married anyway. I am more than just a mere animal who needs to be judged on my physical appearance for 'mating'. Forget that. I am too proud to be looked down upon as 'genetically' inferior by any 'female'.

The difference between us is i would not be so close minded as to presume that what i prefer and works for me is the best kind and the other way is the "worse kind" for the rest of the population when it comes to such a personal decision.

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  • Advanced Member

If your context of arrange marriages is to force marriage than AL HAMDULILAH my parents are not like that at all. But I do know sisters who have been in the situation as well as friends. It sucks, because your life can become living hell. I do not agree with forcing a husband on a female at all. I find it appalling. People who do that are looking at the benefit of something else, not their daughter. And I am very fortunate for a family that will look for my benefit only, al hamdulilah. Oh and no I would NEVER want to be in an arranged marriage if it was forced. But if it is where you are arranged to meet and talk, than why not? What would you lose if you had a friendly conversation with a person. 8D

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If you're literally being forced and you don't want to marry that person for whatever valid reasons, then just keep a strong stand as this is unislamic. You have rights, if you give up those rights too then you are oppressing yourself.

But arranged marriages themselves are fine.

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • Advanced Member

As a girl/women it is usually the way that you can find a suitable partner through these 'arranged meetings' as someone up there ^ called them. You cant exactly come home one day and say dad ive found my future husband. But being forced into a marriage is a different thing. I have pakistanti friends who have told me that in their country its to the point where they do not see the other person until the wedding day!!! Imagine the shock you would have!

As an iraqi we dont have the forced marriages but our families arrange for us to meet suitable partners (well what they think is suitable) and if you agree it goes ahead, if not then Next....and i agree with that how else would you end up getting married?

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I completely opposed it at first, but after a while I have come to completely accept it, I wish I was arranged into a marriage at a young age.. however I still hold the view point the girl/boy should not haft to marry if he/she does not want to.. although why they would be opposed to being married like this is somewhat difficult for me to understand, especially if they are the lonely type.

Edited by dfdfRandolphdfdf
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  • 3 weeks later...

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