Why Does The Husband Choose The Name?

[:Ruffles]

Salam,

So in Islam, it is the responsibility of the husband to name a child, correct? Is this his right or just a responsibility? Also, why isnt the responsibility given to the wife? Is it because women would die from childbirth often and not live to see the child or something?

Thanks.

[GreyMatter]

I shall name my kid after my car.

[Zulfiqar-e-Ali]

I haven't heard this. In my (western) opinion, a father choosing a name without any input from the mother is a bad idea. There should be an agreement.

[jannahismygoal]

I shall name my kid after my car.

Won't it be the luckiest kid on earth. :squeez:

[:Ruffles]

I haven't heard this. In my (western) opinion, a father choosing a name without any input from the mother is a bad idea. There should be an agreement.

Oh it's not that the women can't give input, but it's just the man's responsibility... I think I heard it in either sh. Hamza sodgar's lecture or sh Jehad's... Can't remember which one but a man can even let his wife choose the name all together. I was just wondering why the responsibity isnt just given to the wife instead since she had to go thro all the pain and everything lol

[titumir]

I've got all the names of my children ready on a list - and I'm not even married.

[ImAli]

I named both of my kids.......well the boy was a mutual decision, but I named the girl.

some of you girls on here need to grow a spine and quit agreeing with everything the boys say or you will have a miserable life

[The Green Knight]

Yeah, instead, make your husbands' lives miserable by bossing them around.

[Rational Thinking]

Yeah, instead, make your husbands' lives miserable by bossing them around.

We need that kind of feminism though to balance it all. I'm all for feminism, seeing as i have no intentions of getting married or having any relations. I can laugh by the sidelines.

[ImAli]

Yeah, instead, make your husbands' lives miserable by bossing them around.

Who said I bossed him around.......

If he didn't like the name I chose for my daughter I wouldn't have named her that...I passed it by him first. The same thing went for our boy......we both agreed on the name, but he picked the male name and it was the name I wanted anyway. Alhamdelleh we make decisions together since whatever one does has an impact on the other.

[Rational Thinking]

Who said I bossed him around.......

If he didn't like the name I chose for my daughter I wouldn't have named her that...I passed it by him first. The same thing went for our boy......we both agreed on the name, but he picked the male name and it was the name I wanted anyway. Alhamdelleh we make decisions together since whatever one does has an impact on the other.

Or he was too afraid to disagree :o

[:Ruffles]

My question doesn't have anything to do with feminism... It's like me asking why are men the protectors of women and not the other way around? The answer would in part be that men are the stronger ones and it's also in the Quran. No where did I say the man gets to choose the name and that's the final say. In fact I asked if naming a kid is even actually the responsibity of the husband (that question is implied when I said "it is the responsibity of the husband to name the child, correct?"

But thanks for your input y'all :P lol

Edited January 30, 2013 by Ruffles

[ImAli]

Or he was too afraid to disagree :o

Nah.....more like he doesn't feel the constant need to prove his manliness unlike some people on this forum.

[The Green Knight]

My question doesn't have anything to do with feminism... It's like me asking why are men the protectors of women and not the other way around? The answer would in part be that men are the stronger ones and it's also in the Quran. No where did I say the man gets to choose the name and that's the final say. In fact I asked if naming a kid is even actually the responsibity of the husband (that question is implied when I said "it is the responsibity of the husband to name the child, correct?"

But thanks for your input y'all :P lol

Thats a very genuine and intriguing thought sister. Perhaps we should also start giving maternal family surnames to children and to hubbies. I wager a zimbabwe dollar that there is no saheeh hadith against this either so its actually very plausible. And Quranic translations are often misinterpreted or translated wrong. Just ask a resident e-scholar. "Men", or husbands today already help with everything and sacrifice their lives at the altar of "marriage", sacrifice friends, hobbies, savings, property, everything, AND no matter how extremely nice the husbands will be they will always be called chauvinistic, oppressive and usurpers of female rights and this will be used to blackmail them into agreeing to anything. It'll never end until the grave. Kids, groceries, cleaning, cooking, diaper changes, milk bottles and what not, might as well let women officially take the drivers seat, help earn bread and butter and control budget, so everyone goes bankrupt, insane and the human society collapses and ends instead of remaining in its miserable state. I'm seriously all for the idea. Put them in the drivers' seat already. :D

[Najib]

is it? cause the families i grew up in the grandfather used to give the names in the earlier days, but now it's the mothers usually, or with mutual agreement, don't think there are lots of men anymore who name their children without consent of the wife..right? or did i only grow up in a decent family hehe

[ImAli]

Thats a very genuine and intriguing thought sister. Perhaps we should also start giving maternal family surnames to children and to hubbies. I wager a zimbabwe dollar that there is no saheeh hadith against this either so its actually very plausible. And Quranic translations are often misinterpreted or translated wrong. Just ask a resident e-scholar. "Men", or husbands today already help with everything and sacrifice their lives at the altar of "marriage", sacrifice friends, hobbies, savings, property, everything, AND no matter how extremely nice the husbands will be they will always be called chauvinistic, oppressive and usurpers of female rights and this will be used to blackmail them into agreeing to anything. It'll never end until the grave. Kids, groceries, cleaning, cooking, diaper changes, milk bottles and what not, might as well let women officially take the drivers seat, help earn bread and butter and control budget, so everyone goes bankrupt, insane and the human society collapses and ends instead of remaining in its miserable state. I'm seriously all for the idea. Put them in the drivers' seat already. :D

Oh please......it's not that bad....usually these things come up in a dual income household (husband and wife both working full time)

In my house my husband goes to work....comes home, and sits down. If I let him cook he would burn the house down, if I let him clean we would walk around in stinking clothes and live in a pig sty, he doesn't know the first thing about changing diapers, spends too much money if I dare send him to the supermarket because he doesn't check prices and just throws things in the basket, and the list goes on.

[:Ruffles]

Thats a very genuine and intriguing thought sister. Perhaps we should also start giving maternal family surnames to children and to hubbies. I wager a zimbabwe dollar that there is no saheeh hadith against this either so its actually very plausible. And Quranic translations are often misinterpreted or translated wrong. Just ask a resident e-scholar. "Men", or husbands today already help with everything and sacrifice their lives at the altar of "marriage", sacrifice friends, hobbies, savings, property, everything, AND no matter how extremely nice the husbands will be they will always be called chauvinistic, oppressive and usurpers of female rights and this will be used to blackmail them into agreeing to anything. It'll never end until the grave. Kids, groceries, cleaning, cooking, diaper changes, milk bottles and what not, might as well let women officially take the drivers seat, help earn bread and butter and control budget, so everyone goes bankrupt, insane and the human society collapses and ends instead of remaining in its miserable state. I'm seriously all for the idea. Put them in the drivers' seat already. :D

-.-'

Actually islamically the man has to pay for expenses like food, clothing, and housing.... Whether the wife wants to help in tht or not is her choice.

I'm just asking a simple question about naming a kid lol, I'm not demanding men become slaves to some over-lord women or something...

[Rational Thinking]

Oh please......it's not that bad....usually these things come up in a dual income household (husband and wife both working full time)

In my house my husband goes to work....comes home, and sits down. If I let him cook he would burn the house down, if I let him clean we would walk around in stinking clothes and live in a pig sty, he doesn't know the first thing about changing diapers, spends too much money if I dare send him to the supermarket because he doesn't check prices and just throws things in the basket, and the list goes on.

LOL.

I had these weird ideas of you earning the bread , and your husband doing all the cooking and cleaning and calling you 'boss'.

Sister i am dissapointed.

[Ali-Reza]

Sister not everthing Quran is Wajib some are Mustahab. Perhaps at the time it was better for man to give the name because back then they had had many wives so man didn't want to have two child with same name also could remember his childerens names easier.

But it is different today. Its mutual and Islam doesn't disagree.

Edited January 30, 2013 by faithfuls.org

[ImAli]

LOL.

I had these weird ideas of you earning the bread , and your husband doing all the cooking and cleaning and calling you 'boss'.

Sister i am dissapointed.

Why are you disappointed? I take pride in my clean house and the meals I cook :realangery: ........and last time I let someone watch my kids they didn't do it right.

[The Green Knight]

Oh please......it's not that bad....usually these things come up in a dual income household (husband and wife both working full time)

In my house my husband goes to work....comes home, and sits down. If I let him cook he would burn the house down, if I let him clean we would walk around in stinking clothes and live in a pig sty, he doesn't know the first thing about changing diapers, spends too much money if I dare send him to the supermarket because he doesn't check prices and just throws things in the basket, and the list goes on.

So he never learnt to do his own laundry by living in a dorm / traveling alone, never cooked or went shopping? Sounds like he's a member of royalty.

Or perhaps he's clinically depressed. :P (Just kidding)

-.-'

Actually islamically the man has to pay for expenses like food, clothing, and housing.... Whether the wife wants to help in tht or not is her choice.

I'm just asking a simple question about naming a kid lol, I'm not demanding men become slaves to some over-lord women or something...

Okay. I really doubt if Islam forbids that mothers should name their children. In fact, the mother of Imam Ali (as) Lady Fatima bint Assad named him "Haider". The crux of the problem apparent behind your question is that unfortunately a lot of people perhaps like yourself have very little understanding of marriage, and that is understandable to me. Islam is all for a healthy society and a married couple is the basic building block of it. The structure can not be strong unless the basic building block, this brick, is also strong. The husband and wife, out of all human relationships, are supposed to be in examplary relationship and mutual harmony and understanding. Even though this is quite rare the case in these times. The child is a new member entering the society and needs a name to be identified with. Ideally, the husband and wife are supposed to be able to agree upon a name for that child, in the very least. How can the fabric of society remain intact if the thread that knits it has no mutual bondings and is itself so weak.

I honestly found it sad that today even for such a little matter there has to be invocations of gender rights and duties and expeditions into holy books to find a truth. And don't you know, names do not matter. For example I keep coming across a lot of Godless and generally pathetic beings named Ali or Ghulam Abbas. So much so that there is this person that whoever calls him by his name "Ghulam Abbas" it makes me angry. I have renamed him "Ghulam Yazeed" which is instead his true name. So for God's sake people, at least agree on some name for your newborn, if nothing else?

[siraatoaliyinhaqqun]

Salamalaikum,

Yes a man names a child and that need not be the husband but can be grand or great grand father as they select the kunya when the future husband is yet to be born or the aimma a.s. we usually check the list in the ahadees as to what names are disliked or not allowed and avoid them.

On a side note if the wife doesn't like the name at all then I haven't read anything which does not allow them to change the name

[5a49]

Who said the husband chooses the name?

That doesn't have to do with Islam, that has to do with your culture or tradition, but this is not Islamic tradition or culture or even jurisprudence.

[ImAli]

So he never learnt to do his own laundry by living in a dorm / traveling alone, never cooked or went shopping? Sounds like he's a member of royalty.

Or perhaps he's clinically depressed. :P (Just kidding)

mommy did everything for him until he married

[Marbles]

mommy did everything for him until he married

That should make him a good husband. First dependent on mum and then dependent on wife. Really, you don't want an independent guy. They are too much to tame :P

[The Green Knight]

Yeah? I'd rather buy a poodle instead were I a wife and believed in that, Marbles.

[*Sayyeda*]

My question doesn't have anything to do with feminism... It's like me asking why are men the protectors of women and not the other way around? The answer would in part be that men are the stronger ones and it's also in the Quran. No where did I say the man gets to choose the name and that's the final say. In fact I asked if naming a kid is even actually the responsibity of the husband (that question is implied when I said "it is the responsibity of the husband to name the child, correct?"

But thanks for your input y'all :P lol

Yes it is the responsibility of a father as well as the responsibility for a mother to name her child. It is not for only one gender! Giving a child a good, Islamic name is on the shoulders of both parents.

Also I have heard on the day of judgement that you will be called by your name and then referred to as the son/daughter of your mothers name. And that at a time during the day of judgement everybody will search for their mothers. How strange that people accept that Janaat is under the feet of a mother and then say things like a woman does not have a responsibility to name her child.

On a side note, you said that a man protects the woman because he is physically stronger. There are many forms of protection and spouses are meant to protect each other: They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them. (Surah Al Baqarah- 2:187)

Clothing is metaphorical for protection if you study any tafseer.

[:Ruffles]

So he never learnt to do his own laundry by living in a dorm / traveling alone, never cooked or went shopping? Sounds like he's a member of royalty.

Or perhaps he's clinically depressed. :P (Just kidding)

Okay. I really doubt if Islam forbids that mothers should name their children. In fact, the mother of Imam Ali (as) Lady Fatima bint Assad named him "Haider". The crux of the problem apparent behind your question is that unfortunately a lot of people perhaps like yourself have very little understanding of marriage, and that is understandable to me. Islam is all for a healthy society and a married couple is the basic building block of it. The structure can not be strong unless the basic building block, this brick, is also strong. The husband and wife, out of all human relationships, are supposed to be in examplary relationship and mutual harmony and understanding. Even though this is quite rare the case in these times. The child is a new member entering the society and needs a name to be identified with. Ideally, the husband and wife are supposed to be able to agree upon a name for that child, in the very least. How can the fabric of society remain intact if the thread that knits it has no mutual bondings and is itself so weak.

I honestly found it sad that today even for such a little matter there has to be invocations of gender rights and duties and expeditions into holy books to find a truth. And don't you know, names do not matter. For example I keep coming across a lot of Godless and generally pathetic beings named Ali or Ghulam Abbas. So much so that there is this person that whoever calls him by his name "Ghulam Abbas" it makes me angry. I have renamed him "Ghulam Yazeed" which is instead his true name. So for God's sake people, at least agree on some name for your newborn, if nothing else?

Jazakallah Khair for your explanation brother, though i dont agree that I have no understanding of marriage, i just had a question of this one thing lol Names are important to just because of my personal experiences. I know a names doesnt make a person, my father shares the same name as a really horrible caliph but that doesnt mean my dad is anything like him... but anyway, thanks for your input.

Yes it is the responsibility of a father as well as the responsibility for a mother to name her child. It is not for only one gender! Giving a child a good, Islamic name is on the shoulders of both parents.

Also I have heard on the day of judgement that you will be called by your name and then referred to as the son/daughter of your mothers name. And that at a time during the day of judgement everybody will search for their mothers. How strange that people accept that Janaat is under the feet of a mother and then say things like a woman does not have a responsibility to name her child.

On a side note, you said that a man protects the woman because he is physically stronger. There are many forms of protection and spouses are meant to protect each other: They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them. (Surah Al Baqarah- 2:187)

Clothing is metaphorical for protection if you study any tafseer.

Jazaki Allah sister, this answers my question :)

[repenter-gone4awhile]

All you people bickering about these sort of stuff should just go to hadith, that is what they are there for. Here is one from Nahjul Balagha:

Arabic:

حق الولد علی الوالد ان یحسن اسمه , و یحسن ادبه , و یعلمه القران .*

Farsi:

حق فرزند بر پدر این است که نام نیکو بر او نهد , او را خوب تربیت کند و قرآن را به او بیاموزد.

English

The child has a right on the father, while the father too has right on the child. The right of the father on the child is that the latter should obey the former in every matter save in committing sins of Allah, the Glorified, while the rights of the child on the father is that he should give him a beautiful name, give him good training and teach him the Qur'an ."

(Nahjul Balagha, hikmat 399)

That being said, even though the responsibility in the end falls on the father, it is not only recommended but also insisted that both the father and mother agree on a name. The mother carried the child for 9 months, takes care of him/her etc, any man with a shred of decency would not choose a name that the mother dislikes, but rather work on a good name together.

Wasalam

Edited February 2, 2013 by repenter

[Gypsy]

Father and mother can both name their children. In fact, I think the mother should have more right to name her babies since she carried them for nine months.

But traditionally, sometimes the grandfather/grandmother select names for their grandchildren.

[Marbles]

Much ado about nothing. Simple common sense dictates that children should be named by the father and the mother with mutual agreement. It's not that hard to find a name both agree on. Suggestion can come from parents, grandparents, uncles, aunties or anyone for that matter.

Who has the "right" and the "left" and blah blah is a moot point really.

[ansaripour]

In The Name of Allah, The Most Merciful

Assalamo alaykom,

I haven't heard that in the duty of husband to name his child. What we have been learned in Shia Islam (in Ahlolbait traditions) is the fact that "it is the duty of PARENTS to name their children good names because they will be called through those names in the future. And this shows us a great fact that every human being need to be proud of his name, and his or her name will be a source of respect for him/her. thanks, and best wishes.

[Ali Musaaa :)]

I've got all the names of my children ready on a list - and I'm not even married.

Wait till you see her list :P

[Irvan]

False ..... I have named my son and my husband was totally cool with that ,. it just depends on the relationship between the couple