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In the Name of God بسم الله

Sisters: Would You Marry An Unattractive Man?

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  • Advanced Member

No, we are not equal ---

Some people are born with an edge over others, have power to influence and manipulate things in their favour---[ you can include anything in this power, money, lineage, personality, charisma, ---anything at all----and this power and ability to manipulate condition/things can be used in any way whatsoever they choose...]

As far as what attracts whom----if there are 7 billion pairs of eyes in this world then there are 7 billion beautiful faces---

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No, we are not equal ---

Some people are born with an edge over others, have power to influence and manipulate things in their favour---[ you can include anything in this power, money, lineage, personality, charisma, ---anything at all----and this power and ability to manipulate condition/things can be used in any way whatsoever they choose...]

As far as what attracts whom----if there are 7 billion pairs of eyes in this world then there are 7 billion beautiful faces---

7 billion people

i'd say 55% women 45% men ?

how many shias? 250M?

How many living in your town, maybe a few thousand at most?

how many males, maybe 500?

How many your age, maybe 60 ?

out of those 60 how many already taken or interested in someone, maybe 15?

At the end of the day, we have VERY little to choose from.

+ i was not talking financially. many of these rich people i.e bill gates, warren buffet, sir alan sugar, footballers, worked their socks off from the bottom.

Anyone can be succesful if they have a window of oppurtunity and are prepared. No-one is born with more charisma, that's a personality element.

All else is luck and can be aqquired.

I am talking about raw physical apperance.

+ this is not about wealth btw. Every rich business knows pride comes right below a fall. They have to work their socks off just to keep profits.

Edited by Rational Thinking
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  • Advanced Member

From now on I resolve never to participate in any discussion engineered by you-------instead of understanding what other person is trying to say you adopt a stinkingly repulsive attitude of looking down on the opinion of other person.

I was also not talking about money , which people acquire through their hard work, I was talking about the concept of equality------some are born with certain edge, that is all...

Enjoy your discussion----.

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From now on I resolve never to participate in any discussion engineered by you-------instead of understanding what other person is trying to say you adopt a stinkingly repulsive attitude of looking down on the opinion of other person.

I was also not talking about money , which people acquire through their hard work, I was talking about the concept of equality------some are born with certain edge, that is all...

Enjoy your discussion----.

what you said :

"Some people are born with an edge over others, have power to influence and manipulate things in their favour---[ you can include anything in this power, money, lineage, personality, charisma, ---anything at all----and this power and ability to manipulate condition/things can be used in any way whatsoever they choose...]"

I simply said that i do not believe anyone is born with that ability. Wealth comes through luck and hard work. I have studied these rich succesful people. They were hard workers, risk takers, and they had luck.

No-one is born to have any edge over anyone else. That's a very good excuse some people can use though.

At the end of the day, success if the very moment when preperation meets oppurtunity.

You can abandon any discussion you like. There isn't compulsion. I don't agree with your view on inequality. Inequality is less with how people are born and more to do with the oppurtunities around them. I appreciate your input/salam.

edit: times have changed. Linieage basically does not matter anymore. Personality is developed on your own as is charisma, intelligence is developed on your own. The only things that can be inherited in your list are power and money. And the richest people in the worlds started from nothing.

My thread does not adress socio-economic inequality. It addresses something deeper. Your DNA. The fact a believing woman or man can reject you based on how you were created.

Edited by Rational Thinking
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but crucial. You have any idea how many womans confidence is broken when a man rejects them, and a mans when a woman rejects them for their physical appearance?

So you think this thread of urs will solve this problem, I don't think it will change the mind of a men or a women who do not want to marry an unattractive person.

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  • Advanced Member

Why should a woman marry someone they are not physically attracted to? What benefit is it to them?

In life, people usually find compatibility with their equals, whether it be their physicality or personality or education or whatever.

If a woman is extremely beautiful then she will marry and man who is extremely handsome.

If the man is not all that handsome then he will find a good match in a woman who is not all that beautiful.

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Why should a woman marry someone they are not physically attracted to? What benefit is it to them?

In life, people usually find compatibility with their equals, whether it be their physicality or personality or education or whatever.

If a woman is extremely beautiful then she will marry and man who is extremely handsome.

If the man is not all that handsome then he will find a good match in a woman who is not all that beautiful.

Very fair. We are all equal, marrige is so important, don't be shy to get marriedbut

wait, you are genetically inferior to this woman, she is genetically superior, so you can not marry her and she probably won't want to marry you

for the core essence of your physical being.

Anyone who thinks i am moaning about my looks needs to please stop and consider that this is bigger than me. I am discussing an idea, a reality, an inequality.

So many here have glossed over it as if it's not a huge issue.

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Very fair. We are all equal, marrige is so important, don't be shy to get marriedbut

wait, you are genetically inferior to this woman, she is genetically superior, so you can not marry her and she probably won't want to marry you

for the core essence of your physical being.

Anyone who thinks i am moaning about my looks needs to please stop and consider that this is bigger than me. I am discussing an idea, a reality, an inequality.

So many here have glossed over it as if it's not a huge issue.

I understand what you are saying brother, but life in this world is never going to be fair, we are not living in Jannat.

Look at it this way, if somebody wants to go to medical school they would only gain entry if they have the very best grades. This is obviously inequality for those who do not get the best grades, and for many this can be devastating as becoming a doctor may have been their childhood dream.

Think of all the inequality around the world due to war and poverty and the tragic injustice millions of people suffer every day of their lives. In comparison, the inequality of not getting a pretty girl if you are unattractive is not really going to garner much sympathy is it?

Personally, I believe we all have a responsibility to produce the smartest and strongest and indeed most beautiful children we can, in order to improve our genetic makeup and continually advance the human race. In this regard it is only right that the genetically superior breed with each other for the benefit of all mankind.

If genetically superior people were forced to breed with the genetically inferior, it would diminish or even completely reverse any progress we make as a species and would actually be a huge injustice against humanity.

Having said all that, there are countless stunning women who are with very ugly men. These guys must have great personalities and posses charm and charisma, or maybe they are just very wealthy or have high status. Whatever the reason, it shows that good looks are not the only thing girls look for, therefore if a male is born unattractive, it doesn't necessarily mean he can't marry a beautiful female. Like most things in life, it depends on your talent and ambition.

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I understand what you are saying brother, but life in this world is never going to be fair, we are not living in Jannat.

Look at it this way, if somebody wants to go to medical school they would only gain entry if they have the very best grades. This is obviously inequality for those who do not get the best grades, and for many this can be devastating as becoming a doctor may have been their childhood dream.

Think of all the inequality around the world due to war and poverty and the tragic injustice millions of people suffer every day of their lives. In comparison, the inequality of not getting a pretty girl if you are unattractive is not really going to garner much sympathy is it?

Personally, I believe we all have a responsibility to produce the smartest and strongest and indeed most beautiful children we can, in order to improve our genetic makeup and continually advance the human race. In this regard it is only right that the genetically superior breed with each other for the benefit of all mankind.

If genetically superior people were forced to breed with the genetically inferior, it would diminish or even completely reverse any progress we make as a species and would actually be a huge injustice against humanity.

Having said all that, there are countless stunning women who are with very ugly men. These guys must have great personalities and posses charm and charisma, or maybe they are just very wealthy or have high status. Whatever the reason, it shows that good looks are not the only thing girls look for, therefore if a male is born unattractive, it doesn't necessarily mean he can't marry a beautiful female. Like most things in life, it depends on your talent and ambition.

Humanty is more than a set of biological urges. Why is rape wrong , if it's urge? Why is stealing food to eat wrong, if the urge is to consume for energy?

That's the test God has put on us, in my belief. It's not what we are, but what we do that defines us.

The succesful human beings are the ones who will realise that.

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  • Advanced Member

Humanty is more than a set of biological urges. Why is rape wrong , if it's urge? Why is stealing food to eat wrong, if the urge is to consume for energy?

That's the test God has put on us, in my belief. It's not what we are, but what we do that defines us.

The succesful human beings are the ones who will realise that.

Brother you are looking at this more with emotional thinking than Rational Thinking!

I think you're trying to paint "personal choice" in the pursuit of happiness, as something that is immoral - this is incorrect and very short-sighted. You are also misunderstanding "love" and how it functions under free will. Like I said, many pretty girls will marry ugly boys, but it would be immoral to force anyone to do so and would ultimately lead to misery.

Turn this question around and ask yourself if you would marry an unattractive woman? Its easy to say you would, but much harder to do in reality.

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Brother you are looking at this more with emotional thinking than Rational Thinking!

I think you're trying to paint "personal choice" in the pursuit of happiness, as something that is immoral - this is incorrect and very short-sighted. You are also misunderstanding "love" and how it functions under free will. Like I said, many pretty girls will marry ugly boys, but it would be immoral to force anyone to do so and would ultimately lead to misery.

Turn this question around and ask yourself if you would marry an unattractive woman? Its easy to say you would, but much harder to do in reality.

if woman takes care of her self, is slim (does everything she can do in her hands), why would i discriminate her ?

why would i say, you chromosones aren't right for me sorry, you genetically inferior woman.

Lol. I will decompose after i die, and i will live for a very short time on this earth. I'll choose in a woman after she looks after her self something that will last for ever

who she is, rather than what she is, her nose shape, eyes colour, ect.

Imagine Imam Ali telling bibi fatima that lol.

" Like I said, many pretty girls will marry ugly boys "

Let me not judge you but society has probably deemed you pretty to be throwing ouround labels to creatures of Allah swt like that.

You've probably never had it 'tough', so feel it's natural' to lavel a male human being as that.

It's alright. God decomposes us and allows our physical bodies, after going through old age, to be eaten into a trillion pieces by bacteria.

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let QURAAN speak...

Relevant Qur'anic Ayahs

And He it is Who spread out the earth and placed therein firm hills and flowing streams, and of all fruits He placed therein two spouses (male and female). He covereth the night with the day. Lo! herein verily are portents for people who take thought.

Qur'an 13:3

Glory be to Him Who created all the sexual pairs, of that which the earth groweth, and of themselves, and of that which they know not!

Qur'an 36:36

He Who created all the pairs, and appointed for you ships and cattle whereupon ye ride.

Qur'an 43:12

And all things We have created by pairs, that haply ye may reflect.

Qur'an 51:49

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  • Advanced Member

if woman takes care of her self, is slim (does everything she can do in her hands), why would i discriminate her ?

why would i say, you chromosones aren't right for me sorry, you genetically inferior woman.

Lol. I will decompose after i die, and i will live for a very short time on this earth. I'll choose in a woman after she looks after her self something that will last for ever

who she is, rather than what she is, her nose shape, eyes colour, ect.

Imagine Imam Ali telling bibi fatima that lol.

" Like I said, many pretty girls will marry ugly boys "

Let me not judge you but society has probably deemed you pretty to be throwing ouround labels to creatures of Allah swt like that.

You've probably never had it 'tough', so feel it's natural' to lavel a male human being as that.

It's alright. God decomposes us and allows our physical bodies, after going through old age, to be eaten into a trillion pieces by bacteria.

You are a very intriguing person my friend!

You said if a woman takes care of herself and is slim - so if a woman is fat, you would see her as unattractive and wouldn't marry her. Yet you are complaining about other people doing the same!

Brother, you're obviously troubled right now because a pretty girl has hurt you. Don't let it get you down, there are plenty more pretty girls out there and I'm sure one of them would love to marry you.

The question is, why are you focusing so much on looks. If you feel you are physically unattractive (which I doubt you are) then make sure you have an attractive character and personality.

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You are a very intriguing person my friend!

You said if a woman takes care of herself and is slim - so if a woman is fat, you would see her as unattractive and wouldn't marry her. Yet you are complaining about other people doing the same!

Brother, you're obviously troubled right now because a pretty girl has hurt you. Don't let it get you down, there are plenty more pretty girls out there and I'm sure one of them would love to marry you.

The question is, why are you focusing so much on looks. If you feel you are physically unattractive (which I doubt you are) then make sure you have an attractive character and personality.

Everything i have said about this not being about me, and you say that sister ?

Everything i have posted on this thread ?

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  • 2 months later...

yes, because he might have a lovely personality and tick all the other boxes in regards to deen, compatibility etc.

Looks come and go but if you marry someone for the right reasons then you'll always be happy, also if you only marry someone for looks then it implies that your a shallow person. Of course physical attraction is important, but for me, if he has a lovely personality and a great sense of humor it makes him more attractive. Also, Allah (swt) places love and attachment between a couple after marriage.

Ive heard hadiths that if you marry someone for only looks or only money then you wont find success in that marriage.

Overall, its the personality, because you wouldnt want someone to only want to marry you just based on your looks, theres more layers to a person than just the first one :)

Edited by AlHamdulillah110
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