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lilibolt

Hijab Or No Hijab?

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AOA, I am a student living in the UK, during the summer vacations i did alot of research on hijab and i understand the true beauty of it and i want to start wearing in in school starting tomorrow, but my sister who is older then me, doesnt want me to start because she says that it will look wierd that the younger sister is weaing hijab but not the elder, the school i go to has alot of muslims and i admit it will look wierd. My sister is going to wear the hijab cz of me, she told my mother and even my mom told me not to wear it since my sister cried that she doesnt want to and that she will have problems handeling the hijab since she is not use to it. Both my sister and mother are saying to wait another year until i go to university but i dont want to, i have been fighying back until now, but seeing my sis cry and refusing to what my mother says i feel i bit guilty...another reason they are giving is that everyone in school has already seen me without a hijab so whats the point starting now..

what should i do? should i listen to my mother or just wear the hijab regardless of what anyone says/???

please reply

thank you

WS

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listen to ur Lord. everyone having seen u without hijab makes no difference because there will always be people u know that will have seen u without hijab and also anyone wearing hijab for the first time (be that at age 9 or older) will have been seenw ithout it.

maybe ur sister will get encouraged to wear it when she's u r comfortable.

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me and my sis live alone in uk, we are here for education purpose only, my father just called and said - kinda forced me, not to wear it cz of of the circumstances in europe..he said its dangerous since two young girls are living alone...i dont know what to do...he gave me a long speach saying i should listen to my parents and that Allah will understand...he said i could wear when i go to university but not nw...

please replyy

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AOA, I am a student living in the UK, during the summer vacations i did alot of research on hijab and i understand the true beauty of it and i want to start wearing in in school starting tomorrow, but my sister who is older then me, doesnt want me to start because she says that it will look wierd that the younger sister is weaing hijab but not the elder, the school i go to has alot of muslims and i admit it will look wierd. My sister is going to wear the hijab cz of me, she told my mother and even my mom told me not to wear it since my sister cried that she doesnt want to and that she will have problems handeling the hijab since she is not use to it. Both my sister and mother are saying to wait another year until i go to university but i dont want to, i have been fighying back until now, but seeing my sis cry and refusing to what my mother says i feel i bit guilty...another reason they are giving is that everyone in school has already seen me without a hijab so whats the point starting now..

what should i do? should i listen to my mother or just wear the hijab regardless of what anyone says/???

please reply

thank you

WS

me and my sis live alone in uk, we are here for education purpose only, my father just called and said - kinda forced me, not to wear it cz of of the circumstances in europe..he said its dangerous since two young girls are living alone...i dont know what to do...he gave me a long speach saying i should listen to my parents and that Allah will understand...he said i could wear when i go to university but not nw...

please replyy

(salam)

Well, i dont know if it is a good sign that ur family is against it for now. This may lead to a conflict that will hurt each one of u.

I were going through the same problem as u, as my mother dont use hijab it would be "weird" if i used it. So when i moved away from my family because of education, i started using it.

But when i wanted to start for 3-4 years ago, they didnt let me. So i actually had to wait, because i didnt want to make them angry (and yes, many here will say that i did something wrong, but i felt this were right because i were fine with how i was and i were practising Islam in all other ways). Anyways, u have to think about YOUR best, not always their best. Try to convince ur sister, if she doesnt respond, then just continue with what u r doing and let ppl think whatever they want.

I dont think it is more dangerous for a girl with hijab than a girl without. My family were thinking exactly the same, but trust me if u r living in a place where alot of girls r using it, then dont be afraid. U have to take care of urself just like u do usually.

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I know quite a few girls who wear hijab but their mother's don't. It may seem awkward to some Muslims, but they'll get over it. Non Muslims wouldn't really care about this issue..

Inshallah you wear it asap and when you do, please don't take it off. Now that would seem awkward to people in your school and give them mixed signals...

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should i just ignore what my father said...i know it will make him realllyy angry..my parents are more worried cz me and my sis are realy shy, we dont respond when someone says something mean to us, we r the kind that dont socialize much specially me...they fear that somone will take advantage of us being like this...all the muslim girls i know i not realy proper hijabis they take their headscarves off when there is some kind of function, they dont realy understand the true meaning of it..so i cant realy ask for help here either..i reallyy want to wear it..but the longg leactures of my father and mother are putting me off...

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There is no obedience to the creation when it involves disobeying the Creator, not even if they are your parents. Perhaps if some other hijabi sisters in your area contacted them though to show it's not the nightmare scenario they might be imagining it would help put their minds at ease regarding your safety.

Exactly. Besides sister, you are way beyond the age in which you should have worn hijab you need not delay it any longer.

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should i just ignore what my father said...i know it will make him realllyy angry..my parents are more worried cz me and my sis are realy shy, we dont respond when someone says something mean to us, we r the kind that dont socialize much specially me...they fear that somone will take advantage of us being like this...all the muslim girls i know i not realy proper hijabis they take their headscarves off when there is some kind of function, they dont realy understand the true meaning of it..so i cant realy ask for help here either..i reallyy want to wear it..but the longg leactures of my father and mother are putting me off...

I find that when I go into the world I don't need to explain my hijab (im fortunate to live in a place that understands it). I found that hijab gave me courage and confidence. You may be shy, but don't worry because the hijab speaks for itself. You just need to understand why you're observing it so that you can explain it to people.

When you're feeling discouraged, you should always look at the oppression that the Ahlul Bayt suffered.

When Zaynab and Kulthum were paraded, their hijabs torn off, don't you think that they too had a lot of pressure against them? The amount of pressure on them is (if I may bluntly say and may be out of ignorance) way more pressure than you feel with your parents.

Your parents are worried...that's normal. But once you put it on and you show them that you are a strong lover of Zahra they will begin to accept this decision. My parents told me not to wear it. It took me 3 years to gather courage to wear hijab and I regret those years.

One thing that I always tell people is that they need to have faith in the Imam of the time. He is here to guide and protect us and if we ask him to help us with our hijab, he will.

It's a great jihad..I know! But with every hardship comes ease and we all must prepare for Imam Mahdi reappearance. On the Day of Judgement we don't want to be embarrassed in front of our Aimmah when they find out that we didn't uphold the hijab that they died for.

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salam alakum sister.

my reply to your question is that you should not make anything stop you from wearing the scarf, if you want to wear it then wear it. As for your sister, she should accept the fact that her little sister wants to wear the scarf and that your mother should not force her to wear it. Hijjab should never be forced on someone, it's wrong, the hijab should be worn as a commitment to Allah and it should come from the heart . If you want her to wear it then you can try to talk to her and maybe persuade her to wear it(but don't force her).

My mum started to wear the scarf when she was 15, my grandfather used to be a party animal (used to drink and go out to bars) and he used to think that people who wear the scarf are insane, however my mum insisted on wearing it. alhamdulla my mum wore it and never took it off. As for my granmother, she wore it after my mum wore it as she was scared that my grandfather doesn't want her to wear it however after some months she started wearing it. My grandfather did go mad and tried to presuade them out of it, but they didn't let him stop them even though they loved him alot. however after six years my grandfather slowly started to accept them wearing it and soon he decided to join in and quit the clubbing and drinking alhamdulla

so after listening to my mum's story, just wear it and soon they will get use to you wearing it and they might change their mind and want to wear it because their heart tells them to. don't let anything stop you:)

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thank you for all your kind replies..i have gathered the courage to wear the Hijab and I am really proud of it, i know if i wouldn't have done it, i would regret it alot. :)

Congrats you chose to wear it. I've had similar feelings about hijab, but as I live in a non-muslim area of a state I feel safer not to wear it. Because you never know when a red neck cracka can snap any minute and kill you because his son died in Iraq. You can argue well you never know when another hurricane Sandy is going to come and sweep us all and it would be worse to die without hijab....Then again it would be super weird to put hijab now on when this is my last university year...and I've already seen the hate they have for the couple of saudi/ paki girls who do wear it....In the end I agree that hijab is beautiful...and someday I plan on wearing it Inshallah....but give us an update how its going for you lilibolt .

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As-salam-un-alaykum to all readers.

I am a new user at shiachat i created this account on my son's name. I am in Canada since 1992 and i am wearing hijab since high school. I think when we question our self weather to wear hijab or not ,it is because we do not have enough knowledge about it . We all know we learn hijab from bibi Fatima Zahra. There are many questions that needs to be asked. Why before i was not wearing hijab?

why i am wearing it now?, etc. Hijab does not mean only to cover your hairs but also to change your total dress up for example, no tight pents no tight shirts no half sleeves and so on. basically your body shape should not be showing hijab means you are putting limits for your self and for others as well.i am sorry if i am writing to long . hijab is a jihad that not every one is successful in i have been through alot that is why i am going through these details. In short if u decide to wear it stick to your decision that means imam-e-zamana is guiding u just follow his guidance u will never be lost ask imam-e-zamana to help u take the right decision. may u succeed in this jihad.

ya Ali madad

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Congrats you chose to wear it. I've had similar feelings about hijab, but as I live in a non-muslim area of a state I feel safer not to wear it. Because you never know when a red neck cracka can snap any minute and kill you because his son died in Iraq. You can argue well you never know when another hurricane Sandy is going to come and sweep us all and it would be worse to die without hijab....Then again it would be super weird to put hijab now on when this is my last university year...and I've already seen the hate they have for the couple of saudi/ paki girls who do wear it....In the end I agree that hijab is beautiful...and someday I plan on wearing it Inshallah....but give us an update how its going for you lilibolt .

Alhumdlillah it is going great! I have had few problems where i was asked to take my Hijab off but i stayed strong...I love the feeling and the respect I get, the fact that I am being judged on my intelect, capablities and knowledge rather than my looks. I have seen a positive change in every aspect of life!

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Congrats you chose to wear it. I've had similar feelings about hijab, but as I live in a non-muslim area of a state I feel safer not to wear it. Because you never know when a red neck cracka can snap any minute and kill you because his son died in Iraq. You can argue well you never know when another hurricane Sandy is going to come and sweep us all and it would be worse to die without hijab....Then again it would be super weird to put hijab now on when this is my last university year...and I've already seen the hate they have for the couple of saudi/ paki girls who do wear it....In the end I agree that hijab is beautiful...and someday I plan on wearing it Inshallah....but give us an update how its going for you lilibolt .

Salam,

Take the plunge sister. Start the hijab. Revel in the conquest of your self that you did it in the last year of your school while your heart made you fear for your self.

Give yourself in to your Lord and to the Imam of Time and seek protection from your Rabb.

You SHALL taste the texture of Eiman.

OP: Sister keep it up. May Allah(swt) be with you. Never take it off though. Watch wonders happening in your life inshAllah as you give your nafs to AllahÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì.

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even my mom told me not to wear it

Allah (swt) orders one to obey their parents unless it involves abandoning the orders of Allah (swt)

in your case, regardless of what anyone says, wear the hijab. you dont want to end up feeling regretful at the end

you should also try to convince your sister to wear the hijab, you do not know when your end in near...

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I appreciate the difficulty of your situation. I hope things work out for you in the end and you feel comfortable with your decision inshallah.

I'm not sure if these are completely apt for your situation but maybe there's a snippet in these articles that might help you:

The Mirror Test: KNowing When You're Ready to Wear Hijab http://saritaagerman.blogspot.it/2012/01/mirror-test-knowing-when-youre-ready-to.html

Beware Ummah: It's the 'H' Word! http://saritaagerman.blogspot.it/2012/10/ummah-beware-its-h-word.html

Will keep you and your sister in my dua. Sarita x

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I appreciate the difficulty of your situation. I hope things work out for you in the end and you feel comfortable with your decision inshallah.

I'm not sure if these are completely apt for your situation but maybe there's a snippet in these articles that might help you:

The Mirror Test: KNowing When You're Ready to Wear Hijab http://saritaagerman.blogspot.it/2012/01/mirror-test-knowing-when-youre-ready-to.html

Beware Ummah: It's the 'H' Word! http://saritaagerman.blogspot.it/2012/10/ummah-beware-its-h-word.html

Will keep you and your sister in my dua. Sarita x

Just read your blog. Wow, mashAllah.

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