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rashidun

Living In Europe, Temptation Of Women

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Assalamu Alaikum brothers. Peace be upon you all insha Allah arrahmanirahim. I live in europe, and it is extremely difficult for me to restrain my eyes and desires. I am only 15, but the most I want in this world is to be a good servant of Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì. But here, it is a very normal thing for boys to masturbate and watch pornography. Some of my friends introduced me to pornography, who were also Muslims, and they said that it was okay since I am only fifteen, but now it is extremely hard to get away from it, especially when I have an overwhelming desire to masturbate. every time I see a woman or man, my mind automatically thinks about something bad. I have a difficulty making friends who are girls without having a unintentional desire for something else. I want to be a good muslim, be a servant of Imam Mahdi, and be worthy in the eyes of Imam Hussein, Imam Hassan, Imam Ali, and Prophet Muhammed, but I think that they would spit in my face if they ever saw me. I am ashamed of myself, but I cannot stop, what do I do? Another thing is that I start to get thoughts of woman in a bad way, and since there is so much homosexuality around me, homosexual thoughts pop into my head, I AM NOT GAY, but it happens, and they dont go away. The same with women. Please, anybody, I want to get away from it, but I dont know how. help me.

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Occupy yourself with other more important issues, education/work namely. Whenever you feel any urge say "Bismallah Alrahman Alraheem" and try yourself to look away.

In your spare time, try to be involved in habits that won't indulge you enough time to think of bad things such as masturbating. Try joining a sports team in school or exercise in your spare time. Do chores around your house. Clean up or renovate your room, spend time around your family more than your friends (if your friends tend to go around areas with women 'showing' themselves). The goal is basically to occupy yourself with anything other than sex/masturbation.

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(salam)

instead of succumbing to the pressure of viewing these degrading videos, try to muster up a little will power and watch something like the Mukhtar series, its available on youtube too. Remember Imam Hussain (as) and his suffering. Once you do that, you will automatically feel disgusted by the depravity involved in these lewd acts.

Prophet (s) said, Verily Hussain is the lantern of guidance & ark of salvation. (Innal Hussain misbah ul huda wa safeenat un nijaat)

Try to offer your prayers on time, and if you are already doing that, try to offer the nafilah prayers.

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Everytime you perform an act you re-enforce this behavioural pathway in your brain making it harder to stop. Firstly, change your behaviour. Stop looking at pornographic material fullstop, like a person going cold turkey from a drug. Gradually it ill get easier, your neural pathways will weaken and divert to other matters. Fill our life with something positive and healthy that you can do focus your thoughts and energy in another direction. You have to be pro-active about it, dont expect that you can be half hearted and get results or think that it should come easy, because if youve been doing this for a while it probably wont. But you can turn this around with consistant effort.

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Install those softwares that parents use for child protection, use your pc only in living room/ infront or clear view family, and disconnect from the net for a while; just to break your habit.

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1) Change your friends.

2) Change your friends

3) Change your friends

4) Ask Allah(s.w.a) to forgiven you and make the intention to never to the sin again.

5) Don't browse the Internet in private. Only go on the Internet in a public place. With Free Wi-fi almost everwhere now, this shouldn't be too hard to do.

6) Salat Al Layl and Dua Tawwasul daily until you stop thinking about this every day.

Also, Europe isn't any worse than the U.S., where I live. Almost every time you fill up with gas (petrol for our U.K. friends) you walk in to pay and there are pornographic magazines right by the counter. The funny thing is that most of the people here who own the gas stations are Arab and muslim. Go figure.

Edited by Abu Hadi

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I've been to most of Europe, the overwhelming majority of women are pretty unattractive there, so consider yourself lucky you don't live in Canada.

My advice to you: Visit Canada for a few weeks, then when you go back the girls back home will seem attractive to you.

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Ignore this guy^^

In my humble opinion :

1) Change your friends. Try & find some Shia friends.

2) Talk to your parents about marriage

3) Research muta

4) Try and stay in wudu all the time. Keep this in mind: if your polluting yourself then your breaking your wudu and becoming najis >>easy prey for shaytan and the evil jinns.

5) Pray the mustahib namaz's and try and fast as much as you can.

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Bismillah hirahmanirahim, Assalamu Alaikum Brothers, thank you so much for your advice. It has been about a month now and I have not looked at pornographic images. Ive gone totally cold turkey. With the help of Allah(sw), and with your guys advice, I have stopped. Inshaallah, I will become a better Shia, and a better soldier of Allah. One step at a time. Assalamu alaikum, may Allah be with you all brothers.

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I've been to most of Europe, the overwhelming majority of women are pretty unattractive there, so consider yourself lucky you don't live in Canada.

My advice to you: Visit Canada for a few weeks, then when you go back the girls back home will seem attractive to you.

I agree, in the UK I get no such desires

Iran on the other hand is filled with hot chicks

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persian ladies are definitley the prettiest on this earth lol. this world is unfair, people die , some poor some rich, just turns out persian girls most come out 9/10's lol

Thats why I welcome an arranged marriage :)

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Ok you have already gotten so much of a good advice.

One thing which I've tried for various things personally and work like a charm every time.

1. Make a vow to Allah (swt) that you won't do (or would do) certain thing.

2. Promise to Allah (swt) that you would do 60 days consecutive fasting if you ever break your vow, i.e. do the thing that you promised never to do again.

That's it. You are good to go.

3. Oh... Ask your parents to get you engaged (nikah) with a good momina girl. Even if she does not move with you, still have an halal association. It will not only help you get out of this cycle of sin, it will help you focus more on your career and eiman.

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before doing any thing just think for a moment that Allah And Imams (A.S) are watching u and how will u face them after death whenever u will accept this in mind u will automatically get away from these bad habits. this way helped me alot although even i need much progress even now.

we all really appreciate your step to get on the right path

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