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In the Name of God بسم الله

Looking For Syed Marriage (insha'Allah)

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  • Advanced Member

As a Syed, I do believe you are right. Islam teaches us that one's race or color or ethnicity should not matter, it is how pious you are that should matter. Likewise, being Syed doesn't mean anything if you aren't pious. A pious non-Syed would make a better spouse than a non-pious Syed, in my opinion. And if both are equally pious, then their other traits should set them apart. And if their other traits are equal (including what you like in their looks) then flip a coin, because then they are both equal.

Excellent post and it completely sums up what I believe. I wish all Syeds had your humility.

Edited by Replicant
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There is no place in Islam for caste systems. We are not Hindus. To emphasise this, the Prophet (pbuh) arranged to have his first cousin, Zaynab bint Jahsh, married to his adopted son and freed slave, Zayd ibn Haritha. Can you imagine someone who believes in caste systems marrying his cousin, who was from the Banu Hashim, to a freed slave?

Honestly, I know this type of thinking is common on the Indian subcontinent, but it's straight out of the Jahiliyya period, and comes from living in too close a proximity with Hindus. It's time for the Muslims there (or from there) to wake up and remember which religion they belong to.

Brother it really is a preference thing. If a syeda prefers a syed then there is no "straight out of Jahiliyya" concept. Born shias prefer born shias, pakis prefer pakis, mahjirs prefer mahjirs. No one is saying that there is anything wrong with not marrying among your culture, but most people feel comfortable this way.

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Brother it really is a preference thing. If a syeda prefers a syed then there is no "straight out of Jahiliyya" concept. Born shias prefer born shias, pakis prefer pakis, mahjirs prefer mahjirs. No one is saying that there is anything wrong with not marrying among your culture, but most people feel comfortable this way.

Sure, individuals can prefer who they want. The problems occur when you start talking about 'bloodlines', and keeping blood pure, and other such stuff. It also becomes a problem when the society in general puts pressure on people to marry within certain communities. If everyone says that Syedas have to marry Syeds, or Rajas have to marry Rajas, or whatever else, then what about the person who doesn't want to go along with that? Or, God forbid, those that want to marry someone who is of a different ethnicity altogether. They become outcastes, and 'shame' is brought in their families.

If this isn't Jahiliyya thinking, then I don't know what is.

I would also say that even though everyone has a right to marry who they want, according to whatever criteria they want, there are religious recommendations to take into account. I'm not sure Allah (swt) would look too kindly on someone who preferred to marry a less religious person of the same caste over a more religious person of a different caste, assuming they are both roughly equally compatible in other areas.

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There is no place in Islam for caste systems. We are not Hindus. To emphasise this, the Prophet (pbuh) arranged to have his first cousin, Zaynab bint Jahsh, married to his adopted son and freed slave, Zayd ibn Haritha. Can you imagine someone who believes in caste systems marrying his cousin, who was from the Banu Hashim, to a freed slave?

Honestly, I know this type of thinking is common on the Indian subcontinent, but it's straight out of the Jahiliyya period, and comes from living in too close a proximity with Hindus. It's time for the Muslims there (or from there) to wake up and remember which religion they belong to.

I am not saying I would not marry someone who is non-Syed and to be honest I am far from one who cares about status or class. This whole concept of marrying a Syed has nothing to do with status or class for me it it purely my preference but if there is a man who I find who is non-Syed and I am compatible with him then by all means I would want to marry him.

Brother it really is a preference thing. If a syeda prefers a syed then there is no "straight out of Jahiliyya" concept. Born shias prefer born shias, pakis prefer pakis, mahjirs prefer mahjirs. No one is saying that there is anything wrong with not marrying among your culture, but most people feel comfortable this way.

Thank-you for explaining, it just to be comfortable and maybe have some simiarites with the one I was to marry. Not that this is a huge essential but a preference indeed. My family is very multi-cultural and there is marriages within my family to many different ethnicitys/cultures which I am fond of due to the fact you get to experience new things with different cultures and meet new people of different backgrounds etc and also my dad married a non-syed so this is not at all a problem but just my particular preference. :)

I know u wont settle down to a non religious person, but after religion it comes MONEY, SO MAKE SURE HE EARNS ALOT....

money and power rules the world..... :)

Yes insha'Allah I am looking for a practicing man who will bring me deeper into faith too. And I suppose money is something to think about but I know of marriages that have started with nothing and are living happy and earned money along the way, money is not so much of an important issue to me :)

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Why do you guys twist the topic? The sister only needed pieces of advice on where to FIND a sayyed to marry. She didn't ask you guys to start telling her which blood line she should marry into. If she wants to marry a sayed, sure go ahead. That's your personal preference. We aren't here to ask you why would you want to marry a sayyed.

Sister, I think when Allah sends you someone then that's when you should get married. Leave the marriage thing to Allah. Maybe the sayyed that you were looking for and now deciding to marry is a fake pious guy that looks good on the outside. So please don't rush sister. Take your time and don't just marry him because he has sayyed blood.

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You should probably try and seek more in life before you decide to marry. Also you can marry a none syed also. The whole syeds must marry syeds was a plotter created by false leaders to stop Shias from freely reproducing. As long as he is Muslim and Shia you are fine. My friends is a syed she married a white Shia Muslim.

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Why do you guys twist the topic? The sister only needed pieces of advice on where to FIND a sayyed to marry. She didn't ask you guys to start telling her which blood line she should marry into. If she wants to marry a sayed, sure go ahead. That's your personal preference. We aren't here to ask you why would you want to marry a sayyed.

Sister, I think when Allah sends you someone then that's when you should get married. Leave the marriage thing to Allah. Maybe the sayyed that you were looking for and now deciding to marry is a fake pious guy that looks good on the outside. So please don't rush sister. Take your time and don't just marry him because he has sayyed blood.

Thank-you Sister for the kind words, I appreiate it alot :)

I think you are defonetley right, its best to leave it into Allah hands, Allah knows best :) and insha'Allah all will go well when the time comes

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Dear SyedaZainab, it seems that you will be an advanced member soon, and so I will PM you with my proposal

You will be a good 4th wife for me ;)

And as our traditions do matter, we will marry without seeing and talking to each other.

The elders in our society do get pleased when couples marry without meeting/ talking each other, so for their sake this time.

Oh and I am a Syed Mashallah, the blood in my veins is superior.

That will be all.

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Dear SyedaZainab, it seems that you will be an advanced member soon, and so I will PM you with my proposal

You will be a good 4th wife for me ;)

And as our traditions do matter, we will marry without seeing and talking to each other.

The elders in our society do get pleased when couples marry without meeting/ talking each other, so for their sake this time.

Oh and I am a Syed Mashallah, the blood in my veins is superior.

That will be all.

Lol, funny!

Ive never heard of a marriage where you dont meet and talk, how on earth do you get married? LOL!

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Lol, funny!

Ive never heard of a marriage where you dont meet and talk, how on earth do you get married? LOL!

Oh I have seen plenty of my long-distant cousins back home.

Among some examples, I will share a single one with you guys.

The guy and girl gets their nikkah done, without talking or knowing each other. They just saw a small photo and that it is.

Upon that, they were praised by the aunties, uncles, and the respected elders of how noble and unmaterialistic they are. Also that today's youth are corrupted and we should follow our authentic traditions.

After the nikkah was done, the girl's family said talking will only be established after the marriage. As it is not a good thing to talk to girls.

The guy did not listen, got the girl's number and called her. After the nikkah was done.

The parent's found out soon after and demanded divorce, as the guy is not pious enough.

Poor guy who is my long-distant cousin is single again :(

When I heard, I felt bad but it is kind of funny to me as well lol

Edited by GreyMatter
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Brother it really is a preference thing. If a syeda prefers a syed then there is no "straight out of Jahiliyya" concept. Born shias prefer born shias, pakis prefer pakis, mahjirs prefer mahjirs. No one is saying that there is anything wrong with not marrying among your culture, but most people feel comfortable this way.

Åä ááå æÅä Åáíå ÑÇÌÚæä

No offence, but even the banu umayya didn't have this type of thinking. You should be more careful with your words, because things like this could discourage a lot of reverts. If at least the statement was true, but whilst there are some who hold on to this mentality, alhamdulillah, it isn't the majority.

Especially as on shiachat, we can see that the members with the most knowledge and dedication are not born shi'a, a few are not even born muslim.

There is criteria given by Allah for a marriage partner, people should think about that.

Edited by Ali_Hussain
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Åä ááå æÅä Åáíå ÑÇÌÚæä

No offence, but even the banu umayya didn't have this type of thinking. You should be more careful with your words, because things like this could discourage a lot of reverts. If at least the statement was true, but whilst there are some who hold on to this mentality, alhamdulillah, it isn't the majority.

Especially as on shiachat, we can see that the members with the most knowledge and dedication are not born shi'a, a few are not even born muslim.

There is criteria given by Allah for a marriage partner, people should think about that.

IF the bolded part is true (which you agreed to) then i didnt say anything wrong. If i didn't say anything wrong then don't start off your sentence with Banu Umayya comment. If you disagree then give your reasons for it.

If this mentality isnt true then, come to my community and see reverts struggling to find partners. So many of my revert friends cant find partners just because they are new to islam. It is the majority that thinks like this.

I stated something general, I didnt promote it. I said this is how it is (no where i said its the right thing to do). Born muslims prefer marrying born muslims based on many reasons (comfort, already strong basis, etc). Is it islamic practice? No.

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Oh I have seen plenty of my long-distant cousins back home.

Among some examples, I will share a single one with you guys.

The guy and girl gets their nikkah done, without talking or knowing each other. They just saw a small photo and that it is.

Upon that, they were praised by the aunties, uncles, and the respected elders of how noble and unmaterialistic they are. Also that today's youth are corrupted and we should follow our authentic traditions.

After the nikkah was done, the girl's family said talking will only be established after the marriage. As it is not a good thing to talk to girls.

The guy did not listen, got the girl's number and called her. After the nikkah was done.

The parent's found out soon after and demanded divorce, as the guy is not pious enough.

Poor guy who is my long-distant cousin is single again :(

When I heard, I felt bad but it is kind of funny to me as well lol

Wow, thats horrible.. I have heard of backward-thinking people but did not think it was that backward?? Lol

For the people twisting this topic into a religious debate could you please kindly take you discussion elsewhere and for the ones who have helped me, I appreciate it alot :)

Edited by SyedaZainab
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Oh I have seen plenty of my long-distant cousins back home.

Among some examples, I will share a single one with you guys.

The guy and girl gets their nikkah done, without talking or knowing each other. They just saw a small photo and that it is.

Upon that, they were praised by the aunties, uncles, and the respected elders of how noble and unmaterialistic they are. Also that today's youth are corrupted and we should follow our authentic traditions.

After the nikkah was done, the girl's family said talking will only be established after the marriage. As it is not a good thing to talk to girls.

The guy did not listen, got the girl's number and called her. After the nikkah was done.

The parent's found out soon after and demanded divorce, as the guy is not pious enough.

Poor guy who is my long-distant cousin is single again :(

When I heard, I felt bad but it is kind of funny to me as well lol

How can the girl's family demand a divorce? He should have told them to go to Hell.

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  • Advanced Member

If the girl wants to marry a Sayyed, it's her choice. People have preferences, regardless of whether we agree with them or not. Some women want to marry men of a certain height, others prefer to look at the financial background. Similarly, men also have various preferences. Personally none of this matters much to me, but I think some people here are going out of their way to harass the girl. It's not like she said she wanted to marry a non-Muslim or a deviant.

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(salam)

I would just like to point out that a female isn't called a "syed", she is called an "3lwiyah" or "sayeddah".

Secondly, I believe when looking for a spouse, his/her bloodline should not matter. On the Day of Judgement we will all be judged by our actions in this life and our level of piety, not our bloodline. My mother is a Mirza and my Grandmother is a Sayyidah, and they both don't stick up their noses because of their bloodline, it's their iman and actions that make them pure Alhamdulilah.

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