Is A Phd Worth It?

[I Believe]

(Sorry if this is in the wrong forum...)

I'm wondering if getting a PHD was worth it to anyone that has done it or currently in the process. I'm almost done with my Master's degree in Child Development and Learning Disabilties. If I do go for a PHD I'd end up begining my program in 2013 and I'd be 23 so I know I'd be done before 30 (inshallah...).

My biggest concern is:

1. Feeling like I wasted my whole youth in college.

2. No one wanting to marry me because I'm "too smart."

3. Losing even more friends because right now I work full time and go to grad school. Most of my friends are in undergrad and living off their parents. I barely have time for anyone/anything anymore.

I have a high GPA (thank God) so I will probably earn plenty of grants for a PHD. I haven't really narrowed down what my field will be yet but I'm currently a special education teacher/interventionist and I enjoy my field very much.

Ok. I know the benefits of a PHD, but what could be some of the draw backs?

Help?

[mohammad_mahdi]

Personally i think a PHD is much needed in the economic climate we're currently living in, regardless of where in the world you live. It is getting tougher and tougher to get a job, and every Tom, Richard and Harry has a bachelors of something these days, a PhD can be the only differentiating factor in a job interview.

And any potential spouse who doesn't approve of you being 'too smart' is probably not a suitable potential spouse anyway

And Allah (SWT) knows best

[awaiting_for_the.12th]

Well the drawbacks are exactly the ones you listed :). But maybe you can find someone in the same field and both of you can support each other during these years. Also, you choose a really good field inshAllah you will benefit alot

PS That avatar smh lol. You working on your PhD

[-Enlightened]

go for it sister. Nothing can prevent you from gaining knowledge. About your social life, it only needs balance and you can do it !

about marriage, Allah will arrange one for you . Put your trust in Allah and continue what you're doing , i support it ..it's nice to see educated muslims in our society such as you

[AlwaysChangingHisUserName]

You're worried about getting married because you're too smart? :wub:

That's preposterous.

[salman1]

As-salam-alaikum,

Sister take my advice and get married first and then pursue a PHD. There is a growing number of Muslim females in north america who are over 25 and single and are increasingly finding it harder to find a husband simply because they are perceived to be old or they are looking for someone of an equal educational rank. While I don't agree with these reasons for not marrying a person over 25 but why risk it? Are you willing to put your hopes of getting married on the line for a PHD which may or not provide you benefit or would you rather do the opposite?

[Propaganda_of_the_Deed]

My prof only suggested it if I wanted to be a professor myself (which I do not), so I'm just gonna settle with the Master's.

One drawback is you end being so institutionalized, and become a professional student, without having worked in a job in the outside world related to your field, but in your case you already are by the sounds of it.

[Quranist]

get married and start doing house chores, thats the best for u.

:lol:

[Nadir]

the solution to life, according to sc, is marriage. not phd. lanat on phds! ignorance is bliss!

[covertiman]

Discuss this with your family because it depends on their opinions and values. It also depends on your field. Are you competitive enough with a Master's degree. Do you prefer to go into the work force instead of another couple years of academia? May you can work a couple of years then get your Phd? Are you interesting in teaching because like brother Propaganda said, phd candidates usually end up teaching. Can you speak to an advisor for more advice?

[Ricky-Dee]

drop out and sell crack lol

in the words of notorious big

You either slang crack rock, or you got a wicked jump shot.

Seriously though, its not like if you decide to get married tomorrow you will find a partner straight away lol. So just keep plugging along and you will be fine

[Parto]

don't waste your talents and your tendencies, I think PhD is a worth enough, but remember that during this time, you should think of getting married, it is not so that you have to wait till 30. a smart girl can be a wife ,a mother and a scientist in the same time.

I did the same, I chose to continue education , however during studying I was thinking about good proposals. you go for it and then think about good guys who understand your talents and they don't expect you to ignore them.

[AR2011]

1. Feeling like I wasted my whole youth in college.

2. No one wanting to marry me because I'm "too smart."

3. Losing even more friends because right now I work full time and go to grad school. Most of my friends are in undergrad and living off their parents. I barely have time for anyone/anything anymore.

in answer to point number:

1. until a few weeks ago, i have been in full time education since i started school when i was 4. i have done 2 degrees in this time and had u asked me during the exam period what i thought of education i may have been less positive but i can quite easily say that it has been a fantastic however many years. i have learnt and challenged my mind, working is no mean feat and lots of people i have spoken to say they prefer uni over work (except that u amass debt whilst studying and earn when working obviously). dont think of education as wasting ur youth.

2. in ideal world, i would say forget what others think of you but i absolutely understand this point especially because you will want someone who is compatible with u and values education as much as u do (that doesnt mean u have to marry someone with a Phd too). also, for some reason lots of men seem t be threatened by women who have pursued higher degrees or who are highly intelligent. despite this, i would say that u shouldnt use this as a reason not to excel educationally.

3. as i said earlier, working full time is probably just (if not more so) straining on your time

the biggest factor in deciding whether to do a Phd is whether it will enhance ur employment prospects in the field you are in and what kind of jobs a Phd will open you to. education for education's sake is all well and good but it can be expensive (depending on what country u r in).

[Haji 2003]

Ok. I know the benefits of a PHD, but what could be some of the draw backs?

Drawbacks are when people start to think that their Ph.D. will make a significant contribution to human existence and they had better give it the amount of attention that deserves.

OTOH manage the research design correctly don't get too precious about the subject and process and it should not become a big deal.

No one wanting to marry me because I'm "too smart."

Just be humble. My wife says that she could never imagine I have a Ph.D.

[Belial]

Use your career choice as your guide. If you want a job that requires a phd, then get the phd. If you dont, then dont. If you want the options it provides then do it, if not then dont.

I dont know about you, but my college experience was more youthy than any non college goer. So I dont know about wasting my youth, it all depends on how you go through it.

And theres no such thing as people not wanting to marry you because youre "too smart".

Friends are always lost in travels, but you make new ones (while also keeping the best of the old).

Personally i think a PHD is much needed in the economic climate we're currently living in, regardless of where in the world you live. It is getting tougher and tougher to get a job, and every Tom, Richard and Harry has a bachelors of something these days, a PhD can be the only differentiating factor in a job interview.

And Allah (SWT) knows best

I respect this opinion, however, depending on the field, a PhD may not be any particularly more valuable than a masters.

As-salam-alaikum,

Sister take my advice and get married first and then pursue a PHD. There is a growing number of Muslim females in north america who are over 25 and single and are increasingly finding it harder to find a husband simply because they are perceived to be old or they are looking for someone of an equal educational rank. While I don't agree with these reasons for not marrying a person over 25 but why risk it? Are you willing to put your hopes of getting married on the line for a PHD which may or not provide you benefit or would you rather do the opposite?

Oh woah woah woah. Thats not necessarily a good view either. Relationships get trumped and stressed by such a thing. Also, if you get married, you build a life up that could potentially stop you from going for the PhD at all. Which isnt necessarily a bad thing, it just means there could be a greater chance that she wouldnt get the degree that may or may not be necessary for a certain job or position.

the biggest factor in deciding whether to do a Phd is whether it will enhance ur employment prospects in the field you are in and what kind of jobs a Phd will open you to. education for education's sake is all well and good but it can be expensive (depending on what country u r in).

exactly

[I Believe]

Salaam

Thank you all for the replies. I would like to eventually become a program director and college professor and these positions usually require a PHD or ED.D. I like my current job and will probably continue working throughought the PH.D until it's time to focus on my dissertation.

As for marriage, honestly a guy who is scared of 3 letters after my name is not worth my time. I also live in a community where many sisters do hold higher degrees. I just tend to overthink ( a lot).

My family really is indifferent about the situation, as long as they don't have to pay anything, they don't care.

[ImAli]

Drawbacks are when people start to think that their Ph.D. will make a significant contribution to human existence and they had better give it the amount of attention that deserves.

This reminds me of one of my grade school science teachers. She used to have a seizure, scream, and send you out of the room if you addressed her as Ms. instead of Doctor :dry: .

Edited July 15, 2012 by ImAli

[Quranist]

This reminds me of one of my grade school science teachers. She used to have a seizure, scream, and send you out of the room if you addressed her as Ms. instead of Doctor :dry: .

she must be full of EGO

[ImAli]

she must be full of EGO

More like was full of ego....she's dead by now.

[I Believe]

Lol! I've met a few of those. One of the principals I worked for would be really annoyed if we called him "Mr." instead of doctor. But, his degree was "honorary."

This reminds me of one of my grade school science teachers. She used to have a seizure, scream, and send you out of the room if you addressed her as Ms. instead of Doctor :dry: .

[~Zee Zee~]

This reminds me of one of my grade school science teachers. She used to have a seizure, scream, and send you out of the room if you addressed her as Ms. instead of Doctor :dry: .

hahahhaha i had a theater's professor in community college who also loved to be addressed by Dr. His name was Irish and I used to mess up saying it and I would say DR. Flirty KEEFAK LoLL .......

[ImAli]

OP I think you should go for it....why not. Maybe you will even meet your other half and become one of those power couples.

[Guest WolverineX]

Salam Sister I Believe,

I live in the same community you are in so I can understand where you are coming from. I know you on a personal level so I can understand your concerns. My advise to you is take a break from education for a bit. Work and inshallah if the right guy comes get married. However, if your break has some drawbacks where you do not end up married, my suggesting to you is go back for PHD.

Whatever you do, you will be great in it.

The Best of luck! :)

[ImAli]

Lol! I've met a few of those. One of the principals I worked for would be really annoyed if we called him "Mr." instead of doctor. But, his degree was "honorary."

hahahhaha i had a theater's professor in community college who also loved to be addressed by Dr. His name was Irish and I used to mess up saying it and I would say DR. Flirty KEEFAK LoLL .......

Mine was a 4th grade science teacher LOL. I think she had a Ph.D. in child development and a bachelors in science. LOL.....a Ph.D. in child development and we were all scared to death of her because she looked and acted like a witch.

[~Zee Zee~]

OP I think you should go for it....why not. Maybe you will even meet your other half and become one of those power couples.

yes look at michelle and barack obama...both of them finished law school and met there.....how eyes look like after earning a phd

[diracdeltafunc]

More like was full of ego....she's dead by now.

Wow. You must be old!

[ImAli]

Wow. You must be old!

hahahahaha

Well that was 24 years ago (4th grade....9 or 10 years old) and Madame "Dr." was just shy of 60....if she's not dead she is close to it :D.

[keys2paradise]

I got married and started my PhD at the same time. It was awful at times but I am pleased to say I have completed now, we are still together and my husband is very proud of me :D

Edited July 16, 2012 by keys2paradise

[Sapphire]

Dear Sister,

I am so proud of you. It is great that you are going for PhD. But there are certain responsibilities you can carry along with your PhD like marriage, husband and kids. It might seem difficult to do it. But INSHALLAH you will get through this stage. I hope you find a great understanding husband who would support you in your dreams and you two live a great fairy tale life together. INSHALLAH.

[I Believe]

Just for the record. I'm not saying it has to be either a phd or a marriage. I'm all for marriage and a happy family etc. However, the fact I'm an academic at heart and love learning and teaching shouldn't stop me from getting married.

Besides, I love smart sisters. We need more smart sisters who will make a change in their families and communities.

[YariAzQuran]

Go for the PhD!

But make sure that it is for the sake of Allah سبحانه وتعالى, and not for personal gain, prestige, etc. It's desperately needed in our communities, and the more we represent Islam to many self-hating Muslims who look down on religious people as simple-minded and to ignorant Westerners, the better.

From your standpoint, if you were studying that PhD in pursuit of a high-endurance job, such as a medical doctor, then I would personally be catious of marriage with this type of person, as there won't be time during or after the PhD for raising a healthy family and devoting time to them. However, as your area of expertise (as I take it) lies closer to academia and iA a position as a professor, then you will have plenty of time during and after the PhD to spend with your husband.

Best of wishes iA

Edited July 18, 2012 by Zulfiqar14

[Marbles]

Go for the PhD!

But make sure that it is for the sake of Allah سبحانه وتعالى, and not for personal gain, prestige, etc.

PhD fee sabeelallah?

How does one exactly do that? lol

[The Green Knight]

In the end, its the will that matters. If you want to polish your career then like everything else in this life there is a price to pay, a sacrifice for a gain.

You will definitely still be able to get plenty of willing would-be life partners.

[Chaotic Muslem]

if this will make any difference in how you do feel , my family men prefer a smart women with high degrees sometimes , one of them demanding an equal to him ,a PhD holder woman

i guess there is a man for each woman on this earth or as my friend put it , he who created you has created him as well

my concern regarding PhD is who will hire me instead of who will marry me ,also work nature might be more relevant to your marriage plans than the degree itself

( you are the first woman i meet who say she will not get a husband because of her degrees 0.0)

[kadhim]

If you do it, don't put the rest of your life on hold until it's over. Big mistake. Go in parallel. Pursue marriage at same time, don't wait. The support of a spouse is invaluable. Don't necessarily put off children either until after, unless you work at a deliberately accelerated pace. But even then, probably don't put it off, because even then there's always some other excuse to keep putting it off (Oh, I need to focus on establishing my career, etc).