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In the Name of God بسم الله

How Would You Feel Part 2

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Here is the scenario,

You meet a girl in school (or at work ) who you think has a good personality. She is practicing the religion, is muhajibat, and you have had a few relgious based discussions with her. So this goes on for a few months, then one day she asks you about the topic of marriage generally, and then drops some hints so you get the message that she is interested in marrying you. So you consider it, and say you will go talk to the father.

You talk to the father, and he gives his enthusiastic approval B) . Before you 'take the plung' you ask him if you can see her in normal cloths, without hijab. He resists at first but finally agrees. So you see her in jeans and a t shirt and notice that she is a little on the hefty side of things. You do the calculations in your head and figure that after a couple of kids she will blow up like a water baloon. So after ,this you give some lame excuse to leave and later tell her that 'you are just not ready to get married' and that you will revisit the idea in a few months. She gets the message.

You see her a few years later at the shopping mall and she has taken off her hijab, is dressing trashy and flirting with guys. You come to find out that she stopped doing salat, going to the masjid, etc. So same question. Would you feel bad ?

Sisters don't answer or I'll send my little annoying cousins over to your house to break your lamps and get everything messy.

BTW, I already voted. Yes, I would feel horrible. This is not a real scenario (that I know of)

Edited by Abu Hadi
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Here is the scenario,

You meet a girl in school (or at work ) who you think has a good personality. She is practicing the religion, is muhajibat, and you have had a few relgious based discussions with her. So this goes on for a few months, then one day she asks you about the topic of marriage generally, and then drops some hints so you get the message that she is interested in marrying you. So you consider it, and say you will go talk to the father.

You talk to the father, and he gives his enthusiastic approval B) . Before you 'take the plung' you ask him if you can see her in normal cloths, without hijab. He resists at first but finally agrees. So you see her in jeans and a t shirt and notice that she is a little on the hefty side of things. You do the calculations in your head and figure that after a couple of kids she will blow up like a water baloon. So after ,this you give some lame excuse to leave and later tell her that 'you are just not ready to get married' and that you will revisit the idea in a few months. She gets the message.

You see her a few years later at the shopping mall and she has taken off her hijab, is dressing trashy and flirting with guys. You come to find out that she stopped doing salat, going to the masjid, etc. So same question. Would you feel bad ?

Sisters don't answer or I'll send my little annoying cousins over to your house to break your lamps and get everything messy.

BTW, I already voted. Yes, I would feel horrible. This is not a real scenario (that I know of)

bold part 1: There is always diet ;)

bold part2: which girl in their right mind will stop namaz because a guy rejected her? That would mean her imaan was weak to begin with and the guy is just a excuse to get her out of the religion..

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I guess Im the only one who likes them a little hefty??

Hefty? There would just be more of her to love.

I groaned at that part too though. I was expecting some really compelling physical deterrent.. like a seventh toe or the body analogous to that of a 12 year old male.

But nope. Homegirl just knows how to fill out her jeans. The horror :donno:

Alas Abu Hadi, this hypothetical was one of the whitest things you have ever authored.

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Assuming she is otherwise good looking, it would make more sense to get her to lose weight after the marriage, rather than to just turn her down. Good wives don't grow on trees, and you'd have to be pretty stupid to turn a potential one down based on something that is relatively easily rectified (or that can possibly even be overlooked in light of her other qualities). On the other hand, if she did start acting like that after the rejection, then clearly she wasn't very religious in the first place.

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This may sound like a dumb question, but I have heard that when you are looking to get married (as in the case above) you are allowed to see the girl you are interested in, without her hijab in 'non Islamic clothes' in this case, t-shirt and jeans. I thought its not permitted for a Muslim woman to take off her hijab infront of men who are not part of her family?

I am not even a year old (of being a Muslim :P) so I don't much about this subject nor have I taken time to study this area so forgive me for asking.

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This may sound like a dumb question, but I have heard that when you are looking to get married (as in the case above) you are allowed to see the girl you are interested in, without her hijab in 'non Islamic clothes' in this case, t-shirt and jeans. I thought its not permitted for a Muslim woman to take off her hijab infront of men who are not part of her family?

I am not even a year old (of being a Muslim :P) so I don't much about this subject nor have I taken time to study this area so forgive me for asking.

There is an exception in the final stages of agreeing to a marriage.

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Assuming she is otherwise good looking, it would make more sense to get her to lose weight after the marriage, rather than to just turn her down. Good wives don't grow on trees, and you'd have to be pretty stupid to turn a potential one down based on something that is relatively easily rectified (or that can possibly even be overlooked in light of her other qualities). On the other hand, if she did start acting like that after the rejection, then clearly she wasn't very religious in the first place.

LOOOL! You have a better shot at working your wife overtime compiling hadiths than shedding some pounds.

The only sure shot way that works 50% of the time is introducing slimer and younger co-wives, even then, half of them eventually go all bitter feminazi on you.

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Guest Zahratul_Islam

^ well for some guys its hard to be attracted to that. I take a weighing machine when searching for my soul-mate. Anything over 120lbs and its not happening.

You sound super insecure like a real charmer.

Pray tell, do you rely on their word/your guesstimation or do you weigh them (using the plural "them" because I assume from your narrow specifications that you can afford to be picky) before proposing?

If it is a weigh in, I highly recommend you let the girl know a day prior that she should avoid all sodium intake lest you mistake water weight for an actual figure. :rolleyes:

LOOOL! You have a better shot at working your wife overtime compiling hadiths than shedding some pounds.

The only sure shot way that works 50% of the time is introducing slimer and younger co-wives, even then, half of them eventually go all bitter feminazi on you.

Or perhaps the presence of slimmer, younger looking males. ^_^

Edited by Zahratul_Islam
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I groaned at that part too though. I was expecting some really compelling physical deterrent.. like a seventh toe or the body analogous to that of a 12 year old male.

But nope. Homegirl just knows how to fill out her jeans. The horror :donno:

Perhaps if we can get the five toed ladies to get married first, we can then work on the 7 toed ones.

Now ladies just being on shiachat increases your odds of marriage by atleast 25%,

and if you stay a little hefty maybe one day you'll be fortunate enough to have one of us cool shiachat boys.

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Guest Zahratul_Islam

you want an anorexic wife then.

I have seen short girls who look a little chunky at 120 and tall girls who look slim at 135. The fact that this number was used as a blanket generalization indicated the lack of knowledge this person has of the female body.

Perhaps if we can get the five toed ladies to get married first, we can then work on the 7 toed ones.

Sil3uwa :shifty:

and if you stay a little hefty maybe one day you'll be fortunate enough to have one of us cool shiachat boys.

Akh.. anorexia has never been so alluring :donno:

Edited by Zahratul_Islam
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You sound super insecure like a real charmer.

Pray tell, do you rely on their word/your guesstimation or do you weigh them (using the plural "them" because I assume from your narrow specifications that you can afford to be picky) before proposing?

If it is a weigh in, I highly recommend you let the girl know a day prior that she should avoid all sodium intake lest you mistake water weight for an actual figure. :rolleyes:

I think you had it right the first time about being insecure. :D I take the weighing machine, put it down, calibrate it to nearest tenth of gram. Ask the wali (got to keep it halal you know) to ask the lady to get on machine without shoes, purse. Take the weight and minus 3 lbs for the weight of clothes. Take it 3 times and average it out. Anything over 120lbs and i take my machine and leave. This marriage aint happening.

FYI, 120lbs is not anorexic (5'5 - 5'7"). I think its perfect weight before marriage because after that its downhill

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Guest Zahratul_Islam

I think you had it right the first time about being insecure. :D I take the weighing machine, put it down, calibrate it to nearest tenth of gram. Ask the wali (got to keep it halal you know) to ask the lady to get on machine without shoes, purse. Take the weight and minus 3 lbs for the weight of clothes. Take it 3 times and average it out. Anything over 120lbs and i take my machine and leave. This marriage aint happening.

FYI, 120lbs is not anorexic (5'5 - 5'7"). I think its perfect weight before marriage because after that its downhill

I actually agree that this is the perfect height/weight for a female -_-

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This may sound like a dumb question, but I have heard that when you are looking to get married (as in the case above) you are allowed to see the girl you are interested in, without her hijab in 'non Islamic clothes' in this case, t-shirt and jeans. I thought its not permitted for a Muslim woman to take off her hijab infront of men who are not part of her family?

I am not even a year old (of being a Muslim :P) so I don't much about this subject nor have I taken time to study this area so forgive me for asking.

The ruling is that the boy is allowed to see her once without hijab but it should not be with lust and it's only once!

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Can we revert to the topic of the thread instead of talking about the physical correctness of the girls you deprived SC boys would like to marry, eh?

Yeah we can.

So,

Sad: Aye.

Sorry: Aye.

Horrible: Depends on her demeanor.

Responsible: Nay.

The tent maker of Neshapur is reported to have said through reliable chain of narrators:

Ah, love! could thou and I with fate conspire

To grasp this sorry scheme of things entire!

Would not we shatter it to bits - and then

Re-mould it nearer to the heart's desire!

And this time, for once, it feels weeaaally good to tell sisters to stay OUT OF THIS THREAD. (Yeah, don't you all always keep telling us guys to stay away from yours) :dry:

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And this time, for once, it feels weeaaally good to tell sisters to stay OUT OF THIS THREAD. (Yeah, don't you all always keep telling us guys to stay away from yours) :dry:

notice how most of the brothers disregard our requests for them to stay out. half of them start their posts with "sorry sisters for barging in" and just do whatever. -_-

I wonder what would be the point of it though,

I mean what difference would it make to see some one with or without his/her shawl ?----would it make any difference ? ( I am not being sarcastic, asking seriously )

i guess theyd just wanna see her hair :donno:

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notice how most of the brothers disregard our requests for them to stay out. half of them start their posts with "sorry sisters for barging in" and just do whatever. -_-

Yep, guilty as charged, including meself. -_-

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Perhaps we need a thread with a poll to see if females in here would accept if asked by the prospective suitor to take off hijab, for once, given that guys can Islamically request this from girls for the purpose of marriage?

We also need some real life stories from married sisters. Were they as fully covered during pre-marriage meetings with their husbands as they did when going out? Or was it a bit relaxed? But I guess this question may be deemed too personal to answer.

Is someone willing to do a thread on this?

Edited by Marbles
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