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In the Name of God بسم الله

Need Suggestions For A Life-changing Decision

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(salam)

As most of you know (for those who don't, see here http://www.shiachat.com/forum/index.php?/topic/235003120-request-for-dua/ ), my family is trying to have my brother treated for a tumor. But today, things are looking a little grim.

My father just talked to a doctor on the phone, who's also from Pakistan like us, therefore a lot more understanding and amiable. The doctor has given us some dire news as far as finances are concerned. He says that my brother's insurance agency (being the douchebags they are) will only pay for his treatment (that also 80% of the cost) if he is admitted on something called the "inpatient" basis (those of you currently practicing medicine, please clarify what this means), despite having claimed earlier on that they would pay for it unconditionally. So here's two roads in front of us, one of which will have to be taken depending on the Cancer Hospital's decision.

1. My brother is admitted on "inpatient" basis, and insurance pays for 80%. The rest of the money (approx. US$20,000/-) falls on us, and for our standards of income, that's still a big amount, but we can manage somehow.

2. My brother cannot be admitted on "inpatient" basis, and we have to arrange for a lump sum of US$100,000/- before the hospital can operate on my brother. (that's about a ridiculous ONE CRORE RUPEE sum...)

This decision will be made within the next 2 hours, so I need prayers that it's road #1 that we are forced to take.

Now to the topic at hand: If we have to go down road 2, I've been contemplating the amount of debt and responsibilities falling on my family, and I've been thinking of extending my sabbatical from college to at least another 6 months. I have a year to go before I get my degree.

Here's two benefits that we can derive from this decision:-

1. There will be no cost of attending college this semester, and we can save thousands of dollars.

2. If I help out my father with his business, we can do fairly well and probably pay off all debt within 3-4 months. It is also likely that I can expand his business from a proprietorship to full-fledged corporation (I asked my cousin about this, and he said that the only way to expand a small business like my father's is to have people focus on sales, and your father is basically a one-man team).

The drawbacks are as follows:-

1. My graduation is further postponed, and my father has the greatest issue with this. One of his life's foremost wishes is that I graduate from college and succeed, and he has said countless times that no matter what obstacle comes our way, I must complete college and stand up on my own feet. Obviously I will have to argue with him about this, that sometimes life forces us to forfeit and forego some of our deepest desires etc. but Allah SWT always opens up other doors when one door closes.

2. I probably will be stuck in Pakistan for quite some time. There is a small likelihood that I may not return to the USA if I become settled in my father's company, and make a strong stand for both of us.

The main issue is basically #1.

So I ask, which route should I take? Should I go back to college and finish it as soon as possible, adding more to my family debt (I already owe the goddamn university US$22,000/- in loans anyway...)? Or should I stay back, and bring up my father's company, but adding to the depression of my father that I could not complete my degree on time (or possibly at all)?

Thank you for taking the time to read this overly long post. Once again, please pray for my family.

Fi Amanillah.

Edited by Replicant's Nemesis
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  • Veteran Member

I am really sorry to hear about your brother's ailment. It must be awful having to go through this unexpected turn of events. However have faith in you and have faith in Allah. If the money for your tuition fee and your brother's operation comes from the same pool of resources then I will advise that you deal with what is urgent and immediate and that's your brother operation. You said you could immediately save money by taking time off university. It shouldn't be such a big problem to delay your graduation by a year or so unless of course you don't forego it completely. Make sure you have a realistic chance of going back to the US to finish your education. Don't entertain ideas about not completing your degree.

Your brother is being operated in the US and your father and his business are based in Pakistan right? If I may suggest, why don't you consider the operation in Pakistan? How about Aga Khan in Karachi or Shaukat Khanum in Lahore? These hospitals have highly qualified doctors and state-of-the-art facilities for treating cancerous tumors, unless it's rare and must be treated abroad. The usual image of Pakistan being a big kraphole in terms of everything doesn't apply to healthcare if you have access to those facilities and enough money to pay for the treatment. I am suggesting this because the cost of treatment for the same thing would be FAR far less than it's in the US.

Forget istekhara. Consider everything and make an informed decision and stick to it. Inshallah things will get better. Wish prayers and best wishes.

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ur situation sounds difficult. may Allah swt ease your difficulties inshallah.

inpatient basis just means that he will receive his treatment whilst he stays in hospital. if the treatment was on an outpatient basis, this means he will come into hospital only when he needs to have the treatment and will otherwise be at home in between these periods. normally, unless a patient is very unwell, they are treated on an outpatient basis because the treatment is protracted and their symptoms can be controlled with medication at home rather than having them in hospital. that is unless the treatment is an operation which will require a short hospital stay and will therefore be deemed as inpatient treatment.

may your brother regain full health bi haqq Muhammad wa alli Muhammad inshallah.

Edited by AR2011
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Salam,

Fix your Brother's situation first, as you know schools in USA allow to complete undergraduate degrees in 7 or more years. You can take a long leave or continue in one of the good schools in Pakistan by taking only 3 credits per semester. You can always talk to university president in USA to create exceptions for you to take some classes online, extend your graduation period, take online classes from a compatible university and a combination of it.

If you are getting into business with your dad meanwhile, all the better. But at this point in your life, your Brother's well being is definitely more important. You can slow down on your education and establish a business which is going to be the end game with you any way many years down the road.

Allah is giving you a wonderful opportunity in establishing your business, still continue your education, and gain rewards in being a helping hand for your Brother's health.

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I am sorry to hear about your brother. I hope and pray that he will get well soon after the operation.

Can you please tell u what decision they have made in regards to your brother? If they demand 100K, then it may be better to get it done in Pakistan as suggested by Marbles. Here, I am assuming your brother is fit to travel, which may be unlikely in this case.

If money is an issue, then you have to think about getting your financial on track. But if money is not an issue, then please finish your education.

Edited by Gypsy
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I hope your brother gets well soon. Pray to Allah(SWT) as much as you can. I will pray for you too. I would say, you should fix your brother's situation first then complete studies. Family comes first.

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