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In the Name of God بسم الله

Did Getting Married Finally Make You Happy?

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What were your reasons for getting married? Did you have doubts at first? Were you trying to get away from something in your life? Or were you just ready to finally be happy and start a new life with someone? How did it work out for you?

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Yes I agree with that but sometimes there are things in life that you just can't control and they really bring a person down, such as living in a negative family situation. You can't just be happy with "anyone else". A person can't be happy if they are not surrounded by positive and supportive people.

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Salams,

You shouldn't rely on external factors to make you happy... whether that be other people, events in your life. Happiness comes from a place far different. Although it doesnt hurt to have things 'tangible' to account for it.

In answer to your questions:

What were your reasons for getting married? Met the right person

Did you have doubts at first? Not doubts, just questions that needed answering before I was sure he was the right person. It defintiely wasnt fireworks or love at first sight at the first meeting. We 'clicked' though, and this rarely happens for me

Were you trying to get away from something in your life? Nope, alhamdulillah.

Or were you just ready to finally be happy and start a new life with someone? Definitely happy/ready to start my life with someone.

How did it work out for you? Do you mean how did we meet? Mutual friends who knew each of us (but we didnt know each other) were match-making lol and thought we'd make a good couple. Unbeknownst to me his friend/aunt put it out there on his end and he said "okay". My friend then let me know.. I was told/given his background info, I let my parents know that someone was interested in getting to know me. They were happy for me to give my email and then it moved to phone calls and things went from there. We finally physically met 2 weeks later at a fundraising dinner.

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How did it work out for you? Do you mean how did we meet? Mutual friends who knew each of us (but we didnt know each other) were match-making lol and thought we'd make a good couple. Unbeknownst to me his friend/aunt put it out there on his end and he said "okay". My friend then let me know.. I was told/given his background info, I let my parents know that someone was interested in getting to know me. They were happy for me to give my email and then it moved to phone calls and things went from there. We finally physically met 2 weeks later at a fundraising dinner.

How unromantic :P

By the way, I think the OP meant to ask how did the marriage life work out for you, not how you met your man.

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Yes I agree with that but sometimes there are things in life that you just can't control and they really bring a person down, such as living in a negative family situation.

Yes the environment can have a huge impact on how we feel. But we also have control on how we ALLOW the suroundings make us feel.

No matter how negative the environmant can be, you can still be positive, simply because you choose to be so.

So at the end of the day, how you feel about urself and the world around you, is in ur own hands.

Edited by pepsi
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negative family are nightmares sometimes because you have to deal with them on daily basis and sometimes they must be involved in your decisions

best examples i have seen of those who adapted to this situation are those who laugh at it , they are satesfied with few good relationships in family , they keep any good positive even the tiny bonds with other negative memebrs , no confrontations , and they are creative in creating soloutions without involving the grumpy memebrs lol

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What were your reasons for getting married?

To get closer to Allah

Did you have doubts at first?

Yes

Were you trying to get away from something in your life?

No

Or were you just ready to finally be happy and start a new life with someone?

Yes

How did it work out for you?

Had a few bumps during the course of our marital life as we were trying to adjust to each others temperaments. Overall, it was alright. I tend to see the silver lining of every cloud i pass through (marriage can be a real test).

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What were your reasons for getting married?

Hello Aqua

Reason #1: I believe one of the purposes God gave me in life is to be a wife to a wonderful husband and Mommy to the kids God gives us - if God wills soon!!! :)

Reason #2: I am a sexual creature... because God's plan for sex is (according to my belief) ONLY in the guidelines/protective borders of marriage, marriage to my husband takes care of my sexual needs very nicely, and most importantly, pleases God!

Sex outside God's plan of marriage is a big no no!

Reason #3: I like the companionship and social status of loving my wonderful husband and being loved by him! Very awesome!!!

Reason #4: Good, healthy marriages help the community.

Did you have doubts at first?

Nope. I wanted my parents' advise though. Before getting married, we also went to premarital counseling at our church.

Were you trying to get away from something in your life?

Hmm, at first I was going to say nope. However, I guess I was not wanting to be single anymore... that's why I was praying and asking God for a husband!

Or were you just ready to finally be happy

One should be happy single before deciding to get married! If a person looks only to a spouse for happiness, that person will get very disappointed. However, when a person is happy through loving God when one is single, and continues being happy in God and enjoys being happy WITH one's spouse after marriage, that is awesome!

and start a new life with someone? How did it work out for you?

It's working very well! My husband and I got married in September 2011, and we are enjoying getting to know each other and growing in our relationship!!! I love him and know he loves me, which is very important to me. I very much hope that every married couple, no matter their belief, is doing well!!!

Peace and God bless you

Happiness comes from within, it has nothing to do with being or not being married; if a person does not know how to be happy with him/herself than he/she can't be happy with anyone else.

Hello ShahBano,

100% agree!

Peace and God bless you

Edited by Christianlady
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LOL totally unromantic! :P but just right for me.. :) From experience, I would have freaked out if I was approached out-of-the-blue by a random guy anywhere let alone a 'safe' place like a fundraising dinner!

That was unromantic, but freaking out on being approached by a guy out of the blue is not only unromantic, it is so anti-romantic lol :P

But things have mucho changedo lol! (does that pass for Spanish?)

More like Italiano!

I think I married one of the sweetest most romantic men in Sydney alhamdulillah ! :P

Ahh so you found a guy who is quite like you! Alhamd indeed.

In proper response to the OP.. We've been married for 4 years now alhamdulillah with a bub on the way. Every relationship goes through it's challenges but in amongst it all our relationship has only become stronger, we know each other very well and alhamdulillah are happy.

Congratulations in advance for your babe-on-the-way. Inshallah everything goes smoothly. Best wishes. :)

Marriage is dynamic. We are constantly changing - if we remain stagnant the marriage will stale.. it's important to keep moving forward together.. whether that be spiritually, mentally and emotionally etc.

What do you keep changing and how a marriage can become stale? Please do elaborate and help us unmarried folks get some insight.

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Salams Marbles,

That was unromantic, but freaking out on being approached by a guy out of the blue is not only unromantic, it is so anti-romantic lol :P

Congratulations in advance for your babe-on-the-way. Inshallah everything goes smoothly. Best wishes. :)

I know I know.. i'm terrible. Hubby calls it his 'dua' stopping anything from happening LOL. And thank you for your wishes

What do you keep changing and how a marriage can become stale? Please do elaborate and help us unmarried folks get some insight.

I was writing this long-ish reply when I realised that it didnt need to be that long lol. I'm in no way an expert.. 4+ years is not many years at all... no kids in the mix either. All i can comment on is what has been working for us so far.

Basically marriage becomes stale when you lose connection with one another. It's important to talk. Give each other breathing space, but make sure that you take time out to be there for each other to debrief about the day.. or talk about non-sense fun stuff. Take time to do things together.. spontaneous is good, as are things that are booked in. We have our Sunday lunch and/or Saturday coffee's.. gives us a chance to just chill and a time booked in where we are 'together', laugh and chat. Dont have to have deep and meaningfuls.. but sometimes things naturally progress that way. You learn from one another, and change. Because each individual changes at varying points, so does the relationship. In a good way - a deeper bond.

The things you do together doesnt have to be expensive. One of my favourite things are our spontaneous picnic brekkies... Tea in the thermos that i've made at home and swinging by the Lebanese bakery to grab oregano pizzas. We take these along to our favourite place with a blanket and a book. I usually take a camera.. it's nice to look back even now to see the random things we've done and to remind us to make sure we keep doing it.

It's important to recognise when things are getting overwhelming or stressful for one another. If you're getting cranky and short, perhaps it's time to go away for a mini-break together. Again doesnt have to be expensive.. these days on the internet so many cheap deals out there. We've taken advantage ++ of the fact that we havent had kids.. Not sure how easy this will be when baby comes along.

It's kind of ended up being a longish reply. I feel like I've answered some of your question, but not sure if i did completely? If not, happy to elaborate further.

Inshallah for all the singles, you find that right person soon.

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What were your reasons for getting married?

-Sunnah of the Prophet. I generally like the idea of getting married and settling down.

Did you have doubts at first?

- Of course.

Were you trying to get away from something in your life?

- Bachelorette.

Or were you just ready to finally be happy and start a new life with someone?

- Maybe. I am not really sure. I had my doubts because not all marriages are happily ever after. There are chances of failure too.

How did it work out for you?

Wonderful!

Edited by Gypsy
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  • 5 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...
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To get closer to Allah

Yes

No

Yes

Had a few bumps during the course of our marital life as we were trying to adjust to each others temperaments. Overall, it was alright. I tend to see the silver lining of every cloud i pass through (marriage can be a real test).

MashAllah, that's so good to hear.

This thread is not for me. I am single but still had the urge to post something here. I wish all the best to all the married couples out there. May Allah(SWT) bless you with all the happiness in the world. Ameen

Aw nicely said... :)

What were your reasons for getting married?

Marriage is half your deen.

Did you have doubts at first?

Yes, because I didn't know what will happen to me.

Were you trying to get away from something in your life?

Nobody likes the feeling of being lonely.

Or were you just ready to finally be happy and start a new life with someone?

Marriage is highly recommended in Islam, and I wanted to follow the Prophet when he said marry someone with akhlaq and is a believer.

How did it work out for you?

The best decision in my life. I love him more than my children. I love him so much, because the way he treats me and his smile melts my heart and when he embraces me it removes all the heavy weight I carried throughout the day. Habib albe noor al 3ynteen! Allah has blessed me more than I deserve. Thank you Allah for this gift! Anything I write down will not explain an iota of his character. Love is not superficial it isn't what you see on soap operas, Holly-bolly woods, and your romance novels. Those are lies, and fictional and even satanic! Love is that person who will bring you closer to Allah, and shows you patience and mercy and forgives you for your shortcomings. Alhamd'Allah wa shukar lil llah a million times. THANK YOU ya Allah for your servant you sent me in my life.

Jazakallah khayr for sharing!

I am very happy, my husband is the sweetest, cutest man. My best mate and my husband :)

Sorry for the vomit fest though :)

Aww what a success MashAllah... Good for you sister :)

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