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In the Name of God بسم الله

Is It Permissible To Marry A Sunni Girl?

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  • Advanced Member

is it permissible to marry a sunni girl?? whats you think about this issue?? because i planed to get married but in my area there are no shia people live here and i dont know any shia people so its easy to find a sunni girl .. what kind of problems i would face?

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I think its more headache than its worth in the long run and you also need to think about your future children. Mothers usually spend more time with the kids while they grow up (i.e hubbie is at work) how do u know what beliefs she or her family would be instilling in your children?

Personally I wouldn't dare to marry outside my sect

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I, along with many other forum members here, discussed the issue here: http://www.shiachat.com/forum/index.php?/topic/235001284-how-to-find-a-shia-girl-for-marriage/

Basically, my opinion is that that there is nothing inherently wrong with it at all. The issues arise in compatibility between the two of you. If you find a sunni girl you are interested in marrying, you NEED to sit down and have a frank, open, and 100% honest discussion about many issues involving religion. Topics include:

How to raise the children? Is teaching kids hadiths from Bukhari ok with you? Will she be ok with you teaching from nahjul balagha?

If you slander the first 3 caliphs, like many Shia like to do, will she be ok with that?

If you pray together is she going to follow your lead?

When a Shia masjid gives Eid one day before/after a Sunni masjid which date is going to take precedence in the household?

What about prayer times? Are you going to continue praying 3x a day while she prays 5x?

If you go out to a restaurant to eat, and she orders crawfish or catfish, are you ok with that?

What about Muharram, she probably thinks the Alams being carried around are icons and haram while you might even walk up to them and kiss them like I see many people doing, will that be a source of conflict?

I often see many "Muslims" eating haram food, drinking alcohol, having girl friends, etc. But they won't eat pork. I don't know what in their minds makes them draw the line there, but for some reason they do. I'm not accusing you of being a bad Muslim, but if you are one of those people that aren't very religious, but for some reason think it's important to marry a Shia girl, why? If you find a sunni girl that isn't very religous either, many of the issues I listed above probably won't matter to you two. Again, not accusing you of anything, and please don't take offense, just giving you some food for thought.

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I thought there was a sizable Shi`i community in London. Are you sure you haven't looked hard enough?

It is always preferable for a male follower of Ahl al-Bayt (as) to marry a female follower. However, it is technically permissible for men to marry others. We generally divide the Sunni population into two groups: `awam and nawasib. The `awam (or "`amma") are the commoners; who practice their religion and hold no hatred for `Ali (as), Ahl al-Bayt (as), and their Shi`a. The nawasib are those who despised `Ali, and/or his Ahl al-Bayt, and/or the Shi`a, and/or praised their enemies. It is permissible to marry the `ammi woman as long as she is a simpleton and you inspire her to love Ahl al-Bayt. It is impermissible to marry from the nawasib. In the former scenario, the children must be Shi`i. But it is always preferable to marry a Shi`i woman so confusion does not arise in the household.

Edited by Qa'im
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Like the others already mentioned, it's permissible, but it shouldn't bring your faith at risk.

Also have a look at the following point. I myself do not believe that there are really Sunni people left in this world. Simply for the fact that Sunni people got to much mixed up with Wahabi/Salafi teachings. So it is very possible that your future wife will not only be a Sunni, but more a Wahabi/Salafi without she knows :)

By the way, if you don't know a girl now you want to marry then why stress about it? Relax.. there are more ways to get into contact with a good Shia sister.

Google is your friend :D

no.. just joking..

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Nothing wrong with it but a LOOOT of things you need to consider:

-Will all your children be raised as shias or sunnis? What if they see you and your wife pray differently and become extremley confused, and if they have to take a side will they have some resentment towards the other?

-Will she and her family be comfortable with your views about the "first three"? or will it be a lifetime of akwardness

-Will you be attending all important Islamic processions such as Muharram Majlises, eid-ghadir, birthdays of the respected personalities A.S together, or alone?

All these are very important things to consider before taking any such step. I know people who have married sunnis just because they were madly in love and now are pretty much non-observant shias. And then there are cases like myself where I married a sunni girl and helped her convert to shiaism :D .

So my advice is (and speaking from experience), if you have to do so, then remember that you have a LOT OF patience, well thought out plan and need to stand your ground as to what your beliefs are and will be forever and that of your childrens as well.

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I would also like to point out that if you were to marry a Sunni girl with the expectation that she will eventually adopt Shia views, you need to make that clear from the get go. You better not start trying to force it on her later. In my opinion, that is haram - reason being is that if you were to marry a person of the book (as Muslim men are allowed), you are obligated to allow her to practice her religion. Kids are supposed to be Muslim, but I'm pretty sure you have to let her practice her religion. If you were required to let a Jew/Christian practice their religion, I'd imagine the same would have to apply to a Sunni girl who is, after all, Muslim.

Edited by coldcow
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  • Advanced Member

I would also like to point out that if you were to marry a Sunni girl with the expectation that she will eventually adopt Shia views, you need to make that clear from the get go. You better not start trying to force it on her later. In my opinion, that is haram - reason being is that if you were to marry a person of the book (as Muslim men are allowed), you are obligated to allow her to practice her religion. Kids are supposed to be Muslim, but I'm pretty sure you have to let her practice her religion. If you were required to let a Jew/Christian practice their religion, I'd imagine the same would have to apply to a Sunni girl who is, after all, Muslim.

Just to understand it well... this is only allowed in Muta marriage, right?

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Just to understand it well... this is only allowed in Muta marriage, right?

Not entirely qualified to give you a definitive answer on that one, but I will say that I don't believe in muta. I wouldn't want my daughter or sister doing one, and if I had a male relative that tried it I would probably have to beat some sense into him. Also, if I'm not mistaken, the Prophet married a Jewish woman, and it wasn't temporary -> by that logic, permanent marriage to people of the book would appear to be halal, although still unadvisable (mainly to prevent conflicts between husband and wife, and in child raising).

Again, just my opinion.

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Book: Temporary marriage in Islamic Law

Chapter 1 Permanent Marriage:

5. Religious difference. A woman may not marry a non-Muslim. In Sunnism, a man may marry a woman who is one of the 'People of the Book' (ahl al-kitab, i.e., Christians, Jews, and other religions with revealed scriptures). But in Shi'ism a man may not contract a permanent marriage with a non-Muslim, though he may marry one of the People of the Book temporarily. [26] If either of the spouses should become an apostate, the marriage is automatically annulled.

Source: http://www.al-islam.org/al-serat/muta/

Concerning temporary marriage it's not recommended to practice it. As I have read the Imams (as) have encouraged us to remember the practice, but discouraged Mut'a for those who are not in need of it. I think it's like marriage with 4 Muslima's max. Allah SWT Made it Halal, but it doesn't mean we should all do it. It's just for people who are in need of it.

PS To the Topic Starter; I think it's good to marry a Sunni girl if you think there is a chance that you will convince her about the Ahlal Bayt (as) / Shiism. On the other hand it is risky if you think that the chance is very small she will accept it, because then you will face some problems in your marriage.

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Dear Brother,

It is allowed, however it us not advisable. There really are more Shia girls then boys around. Your religious differences will cause great distress. I know from experience. You go to WWW.Muslimcongress.

org. they have a marriage site. We will do Dua for you. I know 2 girls looking to marry. One in Pakistan and one in Texas. Both Shia of course age. 20 and 26.

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  • Advanced Member

Dear Brother,

It is allowed, however it us not advisable. There really are more Shia girls then boys around. Your religious differences will cause great distress. I know from experience. You go to WWW.Muslimcongress.

org. they have a marriage site. We will do Dua for you. I know 2 girls looking to marry. One in Pakistan and one in Texas. Both Shia of course age. 20 and 26.

thanks for your help brother but i live in uk :(
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  • 1 month later...
  • Advanced Member

Salam,

It's a tough situation which comes down to individual beliefs.

My family and I are generally Sunni however we love the Ahlulbayt, gather on occassions such as Aashura and my Father has visited Holy Shrines in Iraq.

I personally don't classify myself as a Sunni or Shia but simply follow from my heart in which the Ahlulbayt is deeply embedded.

I would marry a Shia or Sunni, as long as their beliefs matched mine.

As we have entered a new age of modernity, people are no longer set in certain beliefs and there is a diversity.

Don't let a name or label determine you're future

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The u.k has a ton of shias - why in the world would you go looking to marry a Sunni?

I don't understand why there are so many people coming here talking about marrying sunnis (this is like the millionth thread on this top) - the only explanation I can think of is that they have been interacting with sunni's of the apposite gender for some period of time and are now attracted to them.

Brother U.K is full of shias, just go to a masjid and speak to the local scholar.

Marrying a sunni - you are risking hurting your future children - if they do not become sunni them selves, they will end up being some sort of watered down Shia - Batriya (those who love ahlulbayt but also love the khulapha (la) as well).

Please think this over.

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