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In the Name of God بسم الله

Holding Your Wifes Hand In Public?

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Salam u alaykom,

Imagine you have a 5 years old doughter walking with you in the street,, would you like her to see such scenes???

If you really love your wife, please go in private with all respect!

Assalam u alaykom

What is wrong with holding your own wife's hand, especially if you live in a westernized society? Your five year old daughter will undoubtedly see much worse from others. Wouldn't you rather her see her parents show love and affection towards each other then from two random teenagers she sees in the park? We are talking about holding hands, nothing more. There are little children who hold hands with each other for goodness sake!

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Funny how men in these "conservative cultures" don’t have a problem being openly physically affectionate with one another in public but easily dismiss any connection to the one who should be most impo

Awww does some one want a hug :wub:

This is funny. My husband has no problem with this and is the exact opposite. I was/am on the more conservative side when it comes to these things but my husband has changed this slightly. He loves ho

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You feel like an idiot when your husband is showing affection, and you think the whole world can see my husband loves me, only to realize that he is trying to make some girl jealous by showing affection towards You. I think it's best if men just pretend they don't know their wives in public. Don't be mean to her to show some girl that you don't like her, and don't be nice to her to make some girl jealous.

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You feel like an idiot when your husband is showing affection, and you think the whole world can see my husband loves me, only to realize that he is trying to make some girl jealous by showing affection towards You. I think it's best if men just pretend they don't know their wives in public. Don't be mean to her to show some girl that you don't like her, and don't be nice to her to make some girl jealous.

That doesn't sound like marriage. :(

Edited by CLynn
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@King This whole thread is ridiculous. Had to revive it.

to the OP: your attitude is extremely unfortunate. Just because you're baligh doesn't mean you're emotionally ready to meet a woman's needs within marriage. Marriage and love are about compromise and MUTUAL respect, not a dictatorship.

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On ‎19‎-‎4‎-‎2012 at 2:03 AM, King said:

Would you do it? Who else here hates public displays of affection? Why not keep these things totally private? What about your wife getting all touchy in front of your family or friends? Why are women so bent on showing their relationship off? Why can't you just appreciate a good thing at home and shut up about it? Why does the whole world need to know? Who else here has never seen their parents hug each other except at the airport when we literally force them to do so? Knowing full well that they are madly in love with each other. I thought these things would be awkward for anyone from a conservative culture, but maybe it is just a Pakistani thing.

You're right. This is the way it should be and stay so forever.

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13 minutes ago, Islandsandmirrors said:

I don't agree at all. 

To cuddle is a private thing. Some people can become offended. Children can become shy because of it. And the male and female loners feel more lonely when they see such things.

Keep it for the home. What's behind closed doors is yours.

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I support his view unconditionally. I even support penalties and police action when these things happen in public. We must eradicate these things from the root for if not it becomes worse and more shameless by the day.

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14 minutes ago, Faruk said:

To cuddle is a private thing. Some people can become offended. Children can become shy because of it. And the male and female loners feel more lonely when they see such things.

Keep it for the home. What's behind closed doors is yours.

There is a huge difference between cuddling and holding hands.

Thats the same as saying that non-fasting people should never eat in front of a fasting person. Out of politeness and respect for the fasting person, it's better not to eat in front of them, but the non-fasting person shouldn't suffer just because of someone else. The fasting person should learn as well that the world doesn't revolve around them.

i understand your perspective, but married couples should not repress themselves from basic affection if they are/like showing affection in public. Yes, there are limits, but hand holding, calling each other by sweet and respectful names in public, can be a marker of healthy relationships and general comfort around each other.

And children will understand what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like.

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On 6/20/2017 at 5:02 AM, Islandsandmirrors said:

... but married couples should not repress themselves from basic affection if they are/like showing affection in public. Yes, there are limits, but hand holding, calling each other by sweet and respectful names in public, can be a marker of healthy relationships and general comfort around each other.

And children will understand what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like

While body language matters and, to an extent, tell the kind of relationship a couple is having, holding hands or generally showing affection is quite a cultural phenomenon and may not mean much in cultures where public displays of physical and verbal affection is uncommon and not given much importance.

Even within a culture individuals differ from each other in how they display affection and communicate emotions to their spouses. So I wouldn't set much store by how much and whether or not an individual displays affection publicly (keeping the Islamic boundaries in mind).

Personally, I'd be happy to hold hands if the situation calls for it, like when my male protective instinct are awakened such as when stepping on elevators, crossing the streets, hurrying through a crowd et cetera; but I wouldn't hold hands when we're seated for coffee and cake, or taking a stroll down by the corniche. I would have a full dictionary of sweet nothings to say to her in private but saying them in earshot or on social media is a no-no. And if she publicly said saccharine things to me, I'd probably die of sugar rush.

I'm told that I'm an extremely romantic person but an outside observer wouldn't know it, because I'm also a very private person. My relationship with my spouse is liable to be misunderstood if you measure it by displays of public affection, or rather by the absence of the same.

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23 minutes ago, IbnSina said:

I dont understand why this has been going for 6 pages now.

Is there a fatwa against holding hands in public with ones spouse, yes or no?

Fatwa is on the second page. 

Reason for 6 pages ... I don't know......... hollywood celebrities giving us PDA goals ?? :woot:

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11 minutes ago, starlight said:

Fatwa is on the second page. 

Reason for 6 pages ... I don't know......... hollywood celebrities giving us PDA goals ?? :woot:

So this is the fatwa, but it is only the fatwa of ONE marja, do you guys know what the other major marjas say regarding this?

 

On 2012-04-19 at 8:28 AM, Ali_Hussain said:

sayed al-hakeem:

Q [3] Is it permissible for a man and his wife to hold hands when going out in public?

A: Such acts are amongst the attitudes of non-Muslims societies. A believer is urged not to dissolve his personality in such ethics in such a way that he/she adopts their codes of behaviors. One should adopt a distinguished way of behavior that originates from the religious codes of ethics

http://english.alhakeem.com/pages/quesans/listgroup_ques.php?Where=36

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On 6/22/2017 at 6:43 AM, IbnSina said:

Q [3] Is it permissible for a man and his wife to hold hands when going out in public?

A: Such acts are amongst the attitudes of non-Muslims societies. A believer is urged not to dissolve his personality in such ethics in such a way that he/she adopts their codes of behaviors. One should adopt a distinguished way of behavior that originates from the religious codes of ethics

http://english.alhakeem.com/pages/quesans/listgroup_ques.php?Where=36

I don't see any religious stuff in response. I don't think there is any issue with holding hands. Why would you take your wife outside in public? if she is going out with you in public so why can't you hold her hand? 

I found this on Ayatollah Sistani's website

Quote

 Question: On embarking on a journey or coming back, a Muslim traveller embraces and kisses his wife in public. Is this permissible for him?Answer: It is not harãm to do that, if the rules of appropriate covering [of the clothes] and hijãb are observed and as long as it does not entice lust [in other people]; it is preferable to refrain from this kind of behaviour.

I think it make sense as long as it doesn't entice lust in other people we could do it. Now if you are in pakistan and kiss your wife in public everyone will be looking at you but if you are in west and kiss you wife in public nobody will even notice you. 

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On 6/22/2017 at 11:34 AM, Ron_Burgundy said:

I don't see any religious stuff in response. I don't think there is any issue with holding hands. Why would you take your wife outside in public? if she is going out with you in public so why can't you hold her hand? 

I found this on Ayatollah Sistani's website

I think it make sense as long as it doesn't entice lust in other people we could do it. Now if you are in pakistan and kiss your wife in public everyone will be looking at you but if you are in west and kiss you wife in public nobody will even notice you. 

Hmm, yes, that does make sense.

But what did that last part actually mean "it is preferable to refrain from this kind of behaviour."

Do they refer to actions of compassion for your spouse in public, in general?

And does "preferable to refrain" mean makrooh? 

And if it is not makrooh, is it then not a personal opinion or a cultural opinion?

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14 hours ago, Marbles said:

Personally, I'd be happy to hold hands if the situation calls for it, like when my male protective instinct are awakened such as when stepping on elevators, crossing the streets, hurrying through a crowd et cetera; but I wouldn't hold hands when we're seated for coffee and cake, or taking a stroll down by the corniche. I would have a full dictionary of sweet nothings to say to her in private but saying them in earshot or on social media is a no-no. And if she publicly said saccharine things to me, I'd probably die of sugar rush.

I see your point, but what I meant by "sweet things" in public are typically addressing your SO as "Babe", "Honey," "Sweetie" not as in full sonnets of your undying love for each other. 

More like, "Sweetie, should we get some veggies while we are at the grocery store?"

Less of: "Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?"

Edited by Islandsandmirrors
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On 6/22/2017 at 11:34 AM, Ron_Burgundy said:

I don't see any religious stuff in response. I don't think there is any issue with holding hands. Why would you take your wife outside in public? if she is going out with you in public so why can't you hold her hand? 

I found this on Ayatollah Sistani's website

I think it make sense as long as it doesn't entice lust in other people we could do it. Now if you are in pakistan and kiss your wife in public everyone will be looking at you but if you are in west and kiss you wife in public nobody will even notice you. 

They will not confront you in the West but in the same time they will ask themselves if this is in accordance with Islam. They are not muslim but still they understand the essence of chasticity. They are not savage apes without mind.

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18 hours ago, IbnSina said:

Hmm, yes, that does make sense.

But what did that last part actually mean "it is preferable to refrain from this kind of behaviour."

Do they refer to actions of compassion for your spouse in public, in general?

And does "preferable to refrain" mean makrooh? 

And if it is not makrooh, is it then not a personal opinion or a cultural opinion?

To me preferable mean.... Kinda Makrooh if you do it its alright if you kiss her in public but its good not kiss your wife in public. 

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15 hours ago, Faruk said:

They will not confront you in the West but in the same time they will ask themselves if this is in accordance with Islam. They are not muslim but still they understand the essence of chasticity. They are not savage apes without mind.

People got no time to notice that. And I am not saying to go all out and kiss like an animal (i hope you got my point) but if you kiss her forehead or on a cheek. i don't think it gonna leave a negative impact on them... But they might think that muslims are not as crazy as media shows them. 

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