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Holding Your Wifes Hand In Public?

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Guest Mushu

Disgraceful

Are these our wives or are they our dogs?

I'm sure people even treat their dogs with more dignity.

I get angry when I see some Eastern men have their wives behind them while they're with their male counterparts in front.

Sickening.

Disgraceful

Are these our wives or are they our dogs?

I'm sure people even treat their dogs with more dignity.

I get angry when I see some Eastern men have their wives behind them while they're with their male counterparts in front.

Sickening.

It was a joke man chill out. Damn.

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Today at the mall (Westfield's) I was in the queue at a smoothie stand, and in front of me where this Khaleeji couple, could tell from their accent, although the woman wasn't wearing traditional abaya but normal clothes with a hijab and the guy had a trim beard - they were holding hands, which I think was fine, but then they started kissing eachother on the lips every now and then - like not proper full on tonguey kissing, but still, kind looked off-key and weirded to me.

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Today at the mall (Westfield's) I was in the queue at a smoothie stand, and in front of me where this Khaleeji couple, could tell from their accent, although the woman wasn't wearing traditional abaya but normal clothes with a hijab and the guy had a trim beard - they were holding hands, which I think was fine, but then they started kissing eachother on the lips every now and then - like not proper full on tonguey kissing, but still, kind looked off-key and weirded to me.

How do you know they did it multiple times, were you like blatantly staring at them.

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Today at the mall (Westfield's) I was in the queue at a smoothie stand, and in front of me where this Khaleeji couple, could tell from their accent, although the woman wasn't wearing traditional abaya but normal clothes with a hijab and the guy had a trim beard - they were holding hands, which I think was fine, but then they started kissing eachother on the lips every now and then - like not proper full on tonguey kissing, but still, kind looked off-key and weirded to me.

lol they must be desperate for each other

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It's comments like yours that make a Muslimah very very very reluctant to marry anyone of Southasian heritage. Seriously, your wife is not your dog or your slave. Why should it be embarrassing to hold her hand in public? You may think of all westerners as followers of the devil, but they know how to treat a human like a human better than most desis. So I'd say they represent the ideals of Islam much better than Muslims do. How shameful!

Sorry for the harsh comment, but I felt it just needed to be said.

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I am against any type of public display of affection. People should act like robots and machines- cold and to the point conversation, expression less faces. I like Robots, I miss Robots :cry: .

Anyway, I think it's hard for Pakistani couples to show affection because they really do hate each other.

Edited by Mokhtar2012

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All men are. It's just a label men don't like to own up to.

So was Imam Ali sexist (God forbid) when he said some women are like scorpians ?(if that narration is saheeh). Or that women are defected in intelligence?(if this is true / he said it)

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My comment:Holding hands is fine. You need to in busy areas, plus it's totally fine.

Anything more is silly.

To those saying it's "showing off" , why would God create some of us prettier than others? These among us find it easier to get married while those with genetic diseases and facial deformities will climb an almost impossible uphill battle.

Face it. Life is not fair.

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. As we let our own light shine, we subconsciously give others the permission to do so as we are liberated from our own light.

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In Islamic law, all things are permissible until strong proof is produced to say something is prohibited

and in the absence of such proof the opinion of a scholar bears no weight at all.

There is no proof that public displays of affection are prohibited in Islam, therefore it is allowed.

I have noticed from my observations that children learn from their parents. If a child observes no affection

from his dad publicly towards his mom, he will assume that there is no affection privately either. He in turn will

behave with little or no affection towards his wife when he grows older, and so on and so on.

This becomes a spiral of lack of affection.

My advise is to let your children see how your affection towards his mother. This is how he will learn how to be

a good husband in the future.

My other observation is that women feel joy, in general, when a husband shows her affection in public. It makes

a woman feel loved. It makes a woman feel good that the world sees that her husband loves her.

Is Islam against such joy? No. I would conclude that Islam encourages it, within social norms of modesty of course,

so you have to look at your said culture because it varies from culture to culture.

Please let us not make Islam harder than it really is. When Allah and the infallibles did not clearly prohibit a thing

there is wisdom in their silence.

Islam is a universal religion. If you tell non-Muslims, "Public displays of affection are prohibited or discouraged in Islam"

you are literally chasing them away.

Salaam

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In Islamic law, all things are permissible until strong proof is produced to say something is prohibited

and in the absence of such proof the opinion of a scholar bears no weight at all.

There is no proof that public displays of affection are prohibited in Islam, therefore it is allowed.

I have noticed from my observations that children learn from their parents. If a child observes no affection

from his dad publicly towards his mom, he will assume that there is no affection privately either. He in turn will

behave with little or no affection towards his wife when he grows older, and so on and so on.

This becomes a spiral of lack of affection.

My advise is to let your children see how your affection towards his mother. This is how he will learn how to be

a good husband in the future.

My other observation is that women feel joy, in general, when a husband shows her affection in public. It makes

a woman feel loved. It makes a woman feel good that the world sees that her husband loves her.

Is Islam against such joy? No. I would conclude that Islam encourages it, within social norms of modesty of course,

so you have to look at your said culture because it varies from culture to culture.

Please let us not make Islam harder than it really is. When Allah and the infallibles did not clearly prohibit a thing

there is wisdom in their silence.

Islam is a universal religion. If you tell non-Muslims, "Public displays of affection are prohibited or discouraged in Islam"

you are literally chasing them away.

Salaam

Good Points! I agree.

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In Islamic law, all things are permissible until strong proof is produced to say something is prohibited

and in the absence of such proof the opinion of a scholar bears no weight at all.

There is no proof that public displays of affection are prohibited in Islam, therefore it is allowed.

Salam,

There is proof that it is haram when it passes a certain point. The Quran forbids what is called 'fahshat' or indecency.

Although this is a general term, there are some actions which we know are considered fashat. These are inappropriate displays of

sensuality or sexuality and/or acts that are short of zina (adultry). If the public display of affection gets to the point where it could be considered

'fahshat' then it is haram. All Marjaa' agree on this. They don't all agree on exactly where the line is when the couple is legally married

in Islam. I have never heard that holding hands or even a casual type of embrace or hug would be considered 'fahshat'. It also depends

on the situation. Passionate kissing and/or touching in public is fahshat. In between these two is alot of grey area. It is up to the individual couple to use

common sense and think, 'If I were someone walking in the public space looking at me, would I consider this to be 'indecent'. If you're reasonably

sure they would, then you shouldn't be doing it. (in public)

I have noticed from my observations that children learn from their parents. If a child observes no affection

from his dad publicly towards his mom, he will assume that there is no affection privately either. He in turn will

behave with little or no affection towards his wife when he grows older, and so on and so on.

This becomes a spiral of lack of affection.

It is pretty much impossible to gather data on this subject.

You only see how someone acts toward their husband / wife in public. What goes on in private, you don't know about (because it's private).

A practicing muslim should not be cold or not show passion for their spouse in situations where it is allowed (in private).

I don't have evidence except personal experience (in my own life) because things that happen privately between husband and wife are to

be kept private and not talked about, so I would have no way of knowing about the experiences of others.

My advise is to let your children see how your affection towards his mother. This is how he will learn how to be

a good husband in the future.

I agree as long as it doesn't cross the line into fashat (indecency). Then it would be entirely destructive.

If you are not sure if it is indecent or not, you should practice ihtiyat (precaution).

My other observation is that women feel joy, in general, when a husband shows her affection in public. It makes

a woman feel loved. It makes a woman feel good that the world sees that her husband loves her.

Is Islam against such joy? No. I would conclude that Islam encourages it, within social norms of modesty of course,

so you have to look at your said culture because it varies from culture to culture.

No, Islam is not against that but , as a muslim, your number one consideration should be

'Would Allah(s.w.a) be pleased with this act or not'. Not whether your husband, wife, or society in general would be please by it.

Edited by Abu Hadi

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4 – And from him from Ahmad b. Muhammad from Aban b. `Uthman from Abu Maryam. He said: I said to Abu Ja`far عليه السلام: What do you say regarding the man who does wudu, then calls his slave girl, so she takes his hand till he reaches the masjid. For amongst us are those who claim that it is touching. So he said: No, by Allah, there is no harm with that and I sometimes do it. And by this “or you have touched women” (5:6) is not meant but sexual intercourse in the vulva (below the vulva – in at-Tahdhib).

Its not the same, but...

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Here is a fatwa by Sayyed Al-Khoo'i (ra) which I think people here will find interesting:

السؤال : هل يجوز للرجل تقبيل زوجته أمام النساء ليلة الزواج ؟

Question: It is permissible for the man to kiss his wife in front of the women during the night of their wedding?

الجواب : لابأس بذلك في نفسه.

Answer: There is no problem with in itself

http://www.al-khoei....dex.php?id=2008

Edited by Naruto

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haha

Salam u alaykom,

Imagine you have a 5 years old doughter walking with you in the street,, would you like her to see such scenes???

If you really love your wife, please go in private with all respect!

Assalam u alaykom

Really? you think your 5 year old daughter only learns from you? Time and again science, society and religion have reiterated that a child learns from his/her surroundings. I guess if we have a problem with people holding hands, we think hard about the country we want our child to grow up in.

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Pretty much common place in many Muslim countries to see men holding hands or arms linked, or as Maryaam said:

Funny how men in these "conservative cultures" don’t have a problem being openly physically affectionate with one another in public but easily dismiss any connection to the one who should be most important to them – their wife

But of course there is no homosexuality in muslim countries because it is un-islamic, and homosexuality is only a problem in the 'west'.

Yeah right. When men are uncomfortable touching their own wives? Something's wrong.

Sorry, had to say it. :angel:

I have noticed from my observations that children learn from their parents. If a child observes no affection

from his dad publicly towards his mom, he will assume that there is no affection privately either. He in turn will

behave with little or no affection towards his wife when he grows older, and so on and so on.

This becomes a spiral of lack of affection.

My advise is to let your children see how your affection towards his mother. This is how he will learn how to be

a good husband in the future.

My other observation is that women feel joy, in general, when a husband shows her affection in public. It makes

a woman feel loved. It makes a woman feel good that the world sees that her husband loves her.

Is Islam against such joy?

Salaam

I had similar thoughts.

Do we want a society devoid of affection? A society which produces hearts of stone... hard hearts... deadened emotions

... except, it seems, for those passions of anger?.

"My other observation is that women feel joy, in general, when a husband shows her affection in public. It makes

a woman feel loved. It makes a woman feel good that the world sees that her husband loves her."

It is also a way of showing that she is protected... that you are her protector.

Edited by CLynn

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