Losing Faith

[Crimson]

I need help with a big issue I'm having to deal with and that's losing faith. I only became a religious again in December, couple of months ago. A better way to put it is that I became Muslim again in December since I was only Muslim by name and I broke probably every rule accept one or two. So anyway I started of caring a lot about religion and tried to "fix up" my life and my lifestyle, it went well till about mid March.

I prayed 5 times a day and tried to learn and research as much as I can, I started to over come bad habits and all the other usual stuff that I shouldn't be doing. Then I just started to slowly miss out prayers, habits would come back slowly and I wouldn't try to educate my self anymore. Now it's just gotten really bad, I would miss days and sometimes go on without any prayers for a week maybe more. I'm basically going back to like a was before and that's technically atheist in a way, apart from the fact I know there's a God.

The west does effect my lifestyle and what I see and do everyday as well as the people I'm around so it's a bit harder for me to be religious and stay religious in this atmosphere. I'm not going to lie to myself, I do like it how it was like before, just doing my own thing and not caring about anything, I enjoyed myself more and only since I became attached to Islam again I started to lose motivation and I wouldn't enjoy my time like I did before even though life made more sense I would still rather it before.

Anyway how do I go on about this? I know that Islam is the true religion and there is a God which will judge me on what I have done but I don't seem to care anymore, it's weird.

Has anyone experienced something similar to this?

Sorry I forgot to mention, I'm 16.

Edited April 12, 2012 by Crimson

[Crimson]

There's hardly any people around me that are that religious, most of them are just by name. And yeah I'm a teenager but how is this normal? What exactly am I meant to do because I actually feel like I am drifting away. Like reading or learing about any specific subject? I can't read Arabic so I can't read the Quran but what should I try learn about that will help me a lot?

Edited April 12, 2012 by Crimson

[Guest Jebreil]

(bismillah)

(salam)

Isn't London a good place to be for a Shia, giant snowy cat with the bluest eyes?

(wasalam)

Edited April 12, 2012 by Jebreil

[Abu Nur]

What exactly am I meant to do because I actually feel like I am drifting away.

The reason for this is the attachment to cozy desires and lack of desire to follow Religion laws. You should make harmony between your self and God. If you can't found the harmony, you will live in cycle, drifting away and going back.

Edited April 12, 2012 by Dhulfikar

[Crimson]

It's a snow leopard :P and we'll not exactly but there are a lot of Sunni in London. Like I said, most of the Muslims I know are 30% Muslim if you get me, they do all the stuff that isn't allowed so their useless. But I can't go telling my parents and relatives that I'm starting to drift away, ill just get that long boring convo about life then hell, I find it pointless since I had it so much.

The reason for this is the attachment to cozy desires and lack of desire to follow Religion laws. You should make harmony between your self and God. If you can't found the harmony, you will live in cycle, drifting away and going back.

How exactly do I find harmony with the religions laws? Nearly all of them go against the lifestyle I had for years so dealing with them is frustrating and annoying but in Islam it's either yes or no, there is never a middle option so finding that harmony is a bit of a challenge, but you do make sense.

[Allahuakbar]

First thing to keep in mind: if you are keeping up with your religious duties at your age, you will be rewarded much more than those of older ages. Keep it up! You can have fun and enjoy your life while still observing Islamic practices. Allah swt doesn't want to stop his creations from enjoying their lives but it is good to step back and thank him for what he has given us. Even when we do pray and supplicate, we are doing for ourselves not for Allah swt. For our spiritual well-being. Basically, so you can have fun without a feeling of guilt. First thing that came to mind for me is maybe you're trying to take on too much research. The most important things are the fundamentals: your salat, fasting, social hijab, akhalaaq. An occasional dua or lecture is great but you don't have to do it every day if you're going to feel overwhelmed during this stage of your life. Hopefully, I'm not getting any bad deeds for telling you this but sometimes this is the case. Do the wajibat, then the mustahabat at your leisure.

I haven't gone through this personally but I have two teenage brothers who have yet to get past this stage. It is difficult but Allah swt will reward you for your effort. I urge you though, please keep up with your prayers. Since you are of Islamic age, you will be held accountable for missing your prayers espeically if you miss them without good reason.

[Shia_Debater]

It's a snow leopard :P and we'll not exactly but there are a lot of Sunni in London. Like I said, most of the Muslims I know are 30% Muslim if you get me, they do all the stuff that isn't allowed so their useless. But I can't go telling my parents and relatives that I'm starting to drift away, ill just get that long boring convo about life then hell, I find it pointless since I had it so much.

Talks of how doing things which are wajib and refraining from the sends you to hell in my opinion is pointless most of the time, what you need to do is research on the wajib acts which you are drifting away from and learn what their true purpose is and how beneficial they are and what the consequences of not doing them are on your soul rather than just hearing without prayer you are going in hell etc.

Maybe you can look within yourself and ask yourself what acts it are that you don't like doing due to lack of freedom or maybe what it is that is persuading you to go back to old acts i.e. maybe you have stopped playing games which you want to go back to

If you yourself can't identify it or you can but don't know what to do to solve it then ask away and insha'Allah we can all be of assistance

May Allah (swt) help keep us all on the right path insha'Allah

[Abu Nur]

How exactly do I find harmony with the religions laws?

What i actually said is harmony between you and God. You need to seek knowledge about God and find a relationship between Him and you.

[Inception]

Essalaam aleykom

Since you drifting away is a fact now, lets start talking about reducing the damage...if you have difficutly to pray, and miss days of prayer..that's because you are lazy to do it..I get it so far..your shaytan is strong

But why do u start to sin? you get energy to sin?? you feel like sinning? Just stop that!

what I mean is..for the mean time, you dont have energy to do something good then, focus on NOT doing something bad..

I dont know what you mean by atheist! but it sounds really bad, I hope I just missunderstood you here..but I think you can avoid doing bad things..and try to remind yourself that you DID manage to live a good life with least sins before, It means you can manage to stay away from sinning..

the other part is more difficult..I really dont know a good way to do it..but as sister Ismahan already said, you have to educate yourself..try to find on youtube those short but helpful clips from da'iyas (preachers)..they are really good, and come to the point quickly, so you will not have time to feel bored and skip the vid before you get the message out of it!!

try to find good friends here on shiachat that live close to you, and willing to spend sometime with you, so you dont need to go back to your western friends, or at least u reduce the time with them (anyone volunteering?)

find a healthy hobby that keeps you away from bad friends, photography, drawing, meme generating, anime (Naruto for guys, chibi devi for girls...lol joking)

BUT MOST IMPORTANT: be aware that Allah (swt) is there to help you...keep talking and praying to Him, be sincere in your prayings

I will try to come up with more practical steps..but so far..be strong and dont lose faith!!

Best wishes

[Guest Monad]

If we do not pay strict attention to our actions, errors may creep in without our knowledge and, therefore, without our having an opportunity to

realize their undesirable consequences. In addition, when we are not paying attention to the act we are trying to improve, we are far more open to the influences of irrelevant stimuli (distractions) which call forth thoughts and movements of an interfering character.

Also your interests state - Music, piano, producing <------, Stop this and see if it makes a diff.

Start of with keeping to the basics, like praying then gradually build up.

It comes rather from the fact that they do not concentrate on the right thing.

[shiaaliibrahim]

Young brother, your deen can not be built in a day or a week or a month. This is your Jihad. When I was young the thing I learned was that during those extended times when my focus was on Allah I carried a spiritual light that everyone noticed and commented on. It was difficult to maintain because it attracted girls and it is difficult constantly turning down their advances. You are young and the distance between you and purity is small, the payoff from being pure is personal power: your words will have more meaning and your aura will influence people and you will have extra protection from harm. We live in the times of Imam Mahdi (as), holding on to your deen and your purity will help pave the way for Imam Mahdi. Winning this Jihad will prepare you to be a warrior in the battle between good and evil which is coming soon.

We need you to be strong, we are counting on you.

[Crimson]

Maybe you can look within yourself and ask yourself what acts it are that you don't like doing due to lack of freedom

That's probably one of the main reasons.

But why do u start to sin? you get energy to sin?? you feel like sinning? Just stop that!

what I mean is..for the mean time, you dont have energy to do something good then, focus on NOT doing something bad..

I dont know what you mean by atheist! but it sounds really bad, I hope I just missunderstood you here..but I think you can avoid doing bad things..and try to remind yourself that you DID manage to live a good life with least sins before, It means you can manage to stay away from sinning..

I don't want to sin, I just end up sinning. I give up at times and it just happens. I do avoid a lot of things but when there is to much to take on it's nearly impossible at times.

Also your interests state - Music, piano, producing <------, Stop this and see if it makes a diff.

I cant give that up lol, it's what I do and what I'm really good at. This just makes it harder to keep religious since again I'm going to have to give nearly everything that I like up.

Young brother, your deen can not be built in a day or a week or a month. This is your Jihad. When I was young the thing I learned was that during those extended times when my focus was on Allah I carried a spiritual light that everyone noticed and commented on. It was difficult to maintain because it attracted girls and it is difficult constantly turning down their advances. You are young and the distance between you and purity is small, the payoff from being pure is personal power: your words will have more meaning and your aura will influence people and you will have extra protection from harm. We live in the times of Imam Mahdi (as), holding on to your deen and your purity will help pave the way for Imam Mahdi. Winning this Jihad will prepare you to be a warrior in the battle between good and evil which is coming soon.

We need you to be strong, we are counting on you.

I understand that it takes years to become a really religious Muslim but it's probably just the society that I was raised in because Islam is like the complete opposite of what I use to be like, and what exactly do you mean by spiritual light that everyone noticed?

[Guest Jebreil]

(bismillah)

(salam)

Do not give up piano. Music is like speech. A person with no vocabulary who swears every 2 words becomes awful music. A person who loves life, who loves God, who loves family, who loves knowledge, who loves the mystery of the world, and who wishes to express the glory of God, the emotions of humanity and the wonders of nature plays ecstatic music.

Not everything that rhymes well is poetry. Not everything that has a good beat is music. Be religious with your music, and your music may liberate you.

(wasalam)

Edited April 12, 2012 by Jebreil

[Kamranistan]

(salam)

Are your friends a bad influence on you?

(wasalam)

[Crimson]

(bismillah)

(salam)

Do not give up piano. Music is like speech. A person with no vocabulary who swears every 2 words becomes awful music. A person who loves life, who loves God, who loves family, who loves knowledge, who loves the mystery of the world, and who wishes to express the glory of God, the emotions of humanity and the wonders of nature plays ecstatic music.

Not everything that rhymes well is poetry. Not everything that has a good beat is music. Be religious with your music, and your music may liberate you.

(wasalam)

Well said.

(salam)

Are your friends a bad influence on you?

(wasalam)

Well, yeah I guess, everyone I know is even the "Christians".

[Kamranistan]

(salam)

Get rid of all your bad influences.

If you want to truly find God you need to find yourself and for that you need time and you need to be in the most spiritually positive environment possible. Reflect on your situation and yourself. Namely your strengths and weaknesses and what you need to do to find that 'contentment'.

This is God's test for you, you want to reach God? He has shown you the way but he won't make it easy now. My advice is to remove yourself from bad influences and that means doing the 'hard' thing and that is to distance yourself from your 'bad' friends.

This is kind of long but I think it may of benefit somewhat, God willing.

http://ahlulakhlaq.w...-alone-we-walk/

Also I'd also recommend quitting music if you listen to it. It will only push you back into the grips of shaitan, trust me. Maybe read this if you have time.

http://ahlulakhlaq.w...-the-millennia/

I sincerely wish the best for you and Insha'Allah you will find a way to reach God. He has reached you now it's up to you. Will be praying for you, Alhamdulilah.

P.S. Knowledge is key to increase you faith. Read the threads here, even they will benefit you. They once benefited me in many ways alhamdulilah. Immerse yourself in God's light.

(wasalam)

Edited April 12, 2012 by Kamran-Syed

[Mu'minah]

Salamun Alaykum Brother

You are a very sincere person, and genuine in your wish for change. Besides what anyone may say to you, Allah (sw) knows how genuine you are and knows exactly what you want, even better than you do- He is The All Knowing and He is also The All Hearing. Before you fall asleep at night, have a chat to Allah. Ask Him what you have asked the forum, beg Him to guide you, take guidance from The Almighty Source and speak to Allah himself, He will guide you.

In fact, we don't realise that Allah has told us to do this in the Quran " If my servant asks you about Me, Indeed I am near. I answer the prayer if the one who prays(asks) to Me" Yes Allah sw is great and mighty and incomprehensible, but He most certainly loves us and is near to us and is the most willing to help us, all we have to do is ask for His help.

Enjoy your journey to Allah

Wasalam

[Khadim uz Zahra]

(bismillah)

(salam)

The Philosopher, why are you after her snowy, big, blue cat eyes?!

As for the opening post, I think you have been very vague here. Before treating any illness, we need to diagnose what the disease actually is and I feel that you have either not put the cause of the problem here or don't know it yourself. So, first of all, you need to think about what first caused you to be religious - obviously, what lit the fire of religion in yourself first can light it once again. Secondly, you need to think about why your love for religion died down suddenly? Was it because you were pushing too hard on yourself? Was it that, although you were committed to religion, your parents, family or friends were either pressurising you or were making fun of you (in the case of your friends)? Nothing "just happens" and there is always a cause for everything and, so, you need to find that cause.

Also, this may have been due to sin. I have heard from some lectures - and through reading a book about the famous Sheikh Rajab Ali Khayat - that sins reduce the pleasure we get from worship and, so, if one sins and does not repent, the pleasure you get in your worship will not be the same as that you used to have before. So, maybe you had committed a sin and did not repent for it, which made your love for religion go down. Obviously, if you don't get enough pleasure in something, it feels like torture and you don't do it anymore because you are forcing yourself to do it.

Another thing may be that your belief is not strong enough. Like Inception said, talking about being an "atheist" is not related to this but since you mentioned it, maybe, although you say on the outside that "Islam is the true religion and there is a God which will judge me on what I have done", deep down, you are not sure about this. It may be that your belief is not based on real and solid foundations and is just because you "inherited" if from your parents. (This may, as well, be one of the causes for your fall in religion).

You see, when you ask about what you should learn, one cannot give a proper answer before knowing what is it that you lack. If, for example, you problem is the desires and inability to leave the sins, then, one could recommend reading about the negative effects sins have but, if for example, the problem is weak belief in God, then, the most appropriate thing to learn would be God, Himself. Therefore, you need to find out what the problem is and learn whatever will help you mitigate this problem.

Think about these...

Insha'Allah, I have been helpful.

May Allah (SWT) bless us all, our families and loved ones, guide us all to The Straight Path with His Perfect Guidance and may He, The Forgiver of Sins and The Oft-Forgiving, forgive all our sins for, verily, there is neither any refuge nor any respite for the sinners, except in Allah (SWT) .

Edited April 12, 2012 by Khadim uz Zahra

[Shia_Debater]

That's probably one of the main reasons.

But what exactly is it that is taking away this freedom of yours? For example is it the fact that you can't listen to music anymore? or is it because you have to spend some time of your day to pray? etc.

What is it that you feel has taken away your freedom, be specific and insha'Allah I will help you out :D

By the way if you don't mind me asking, whereabouts of London do you live in? North, East, South or West?

[Guest Jebreil]

(bismillah)

(salam)

Khadim

First, I haven't forgotten your PM - just been very busy.

Second, Crimson has a male status.

Third, there is no third.

(wasalam)

[Crimson]

(bismillah)

(salam)

The Philosopher, why are you after her snowy, big, blue cat eyes?!

As for the opening post, I think you have been very vague here. Before treating any illness, we need to diagnose what the disease actually is and I feel that you have either not put the cause of the problem here or don't know it yourself. So, first of all, you need to think about what first caused you to be religious - obviously, what lit the fire of religion in yourself first can light it once again. Secondly, you need to think about why your love for religion died down suddenly? Was it because you were pushing too hard on yourself? Was it that, although you were committed to religion, your parents, family or friends were either pressurising you or were making fun of you (in the case of your friends)? Nothing "just happens" and there is always a cause for everything and, so, you need to find that cause.

Also, this may have been due to sin. I have heard from some lectures - and through reading a book about the famous Sheikh Rajab Ali Khayat - that sins reduce the pleasure we get from worship and, so, if one sins and does not repent, the pleasure you get in your worship will not be the same as that you used to have before. So, maybe you had committed a sin and did not repent for it, which made your love for religion go down. Obviously, if you don't get enough pleasure in something, it feels like torture and you don't do it anymore because you are forcing yourself to do it.

Another thing may be that your belief is not strong enough. Like Inception said, talking about being an "atheist" is not related to this but since you mentioned it, maybe, although you say on the outside that "Islam is the true religion and there is a God which will judge me on what I have done", deep down, you are not sure about this. It may be that your belief is not based on real and solid foundations and is just because you "inherited" if from your parents. (This may, as well, be one of the causes for your fall in religion).

You see, when you ask about what you should learn, one cannot give a proper answer before knowing what is it that you lack. If, for example, you problem is the desires and inability to leave the sins, then, one could recommend reading about the negative effects sins have but, if for example, the problem is weak belief in God, then, the most appropriate thing to learn would be God, Himself. Therefore, you need to find out what the problem is and learn whatever will help you mitigate this problem.

Think about these...

Insha'Allah, I have been helpful.

May Allah (SWT) bless us all, our families and loved ones, guide us all to The Straight Path with His Perfect Guidance and may He, The Forgiver of Sins and The Oft-Forgiving, forgive all our sins for, verily, there is neither any refuge nor any respite for the sinners, except in Allah (SWT) .

Well I stumbled on a video on Youtube about Islam and from there it just went onto the next and so on. I also needed help at that time because I was facing some problems and had no one to help me which made me turn to Allah. So after a week of learning more about the religion and finding about why some of the rules are there I realized that I had been a bit of an ignorant person when it came down to religion. I went by the saying "you only get one life" so everything I did or was going to do had no limits, but remembering about the afterlife made me start turning religion too because this is only a test, and my time was limited in this life. Now my love for religion suddenly started to die down because I was being restricted from doing what I wanted and all these rules where just the opposite of me and like I said, I could never find a choice that's in the middle of things, it's either allowed or not.

So after holding myself back for a while I ended up giving in. It was too much of a big change because I can't be a muslim and commit sins but gradually try to stop so I had to stop and change my lifestyle all of a sudden and I couldn't keep it up for long.

Yeah you're right, when I started to commit some of the sins again I repented and felt guilty but that started to fade away. I wouldn't feel guilty at times and just not repent or forget to, like I didn't care.

And by saying I use to be atheist I men't what I said before, "you only get one life" so I everything I done was just fixed on this world, I never considered or though about the afterlife even though I knew it existed. I believed in God all the time but I didn't care to put it simple. So I do believe what I said earlier and I know it's true but I'm just not caring, its too much of an overwhelming change if you get me.

But what exactly is it that is taking away this freedom of yours? For example is it the fact that you can't listen to music anymore? or is it because you have to spend some time of your day to pray? etc.

What is it that you feel has taken away your freedom, be specific and insha'Allah I will help you out :D

By the way if you don't mind me asking, whereabouts of London do you live in? North, East, South or West?

No I still will listen to music and always will, that's probably the one thing I'm never going to change. I'm not going to lie but stopping what I'm doing to go pray is so frustrating and I normally miss most if not all of the morning prays on non-school days because I just can't get up and don't want to. I missed that prayer for nearly 2 weeks now, because I'm in my holiday :/

Things like my social life are being affected again since we're not meant to mix with the opposite gender and I had no limits back then, I did everything with the opposite sex except have intercourse. And I got told its compulsory to lower my gaze, whats the point, last time I tried I looked down and there was a magazine on the floor which was worse, and I'm use to seeing these things so it doesn't affect me but I still have to do it, pointless.

I missed out on parties, concerts, things I normally do with friends, etc... Like I said my whole lifestyle has to change in order for me to actually be a Muslim and not commit sins.

And yeah I live in north west, around Wembley Stadium.

[Khadim uz Zahra]

(bismillah)

(salam)

Khadim

First, I haven't forgotten your PM - just been very busy.

Second, Crimson has a male status.

Third, there is no third.

(wasalam)

(bismillah)

(wasalam) wa RAHMATULLAHI WA BARAKATOH

(wasalam) wa RAHMATULLAHI WA BARAKATOH

Jebreil

First, I am glad that you remember. I was actually thinking of asking whether your coursework had finished and you replied yourself! :D No problem, The Philosopher can get away with everything.

Second, ok, "why are you so concerned with his snowy, big, blue cat eyes?!

I have a third: you did not answer my question!

[Shia_Debater]

No I still will listen to music and always will, that's probably the one thing I'm never going to change.

I would suggest replacing Music with acapella right away (rap without a beat) [if acapella's are halal] and then from this work your way to replacing that with Nasheeds and Latmiya [if acapella isn't halal then skip straight to nasheeds and latmiya] and then from that to Qur'an or even both. If you really don't want to then that is your choice however Music itself is a greater sin [though there may be some forms of music that are not considered haram but I am not qualified to comment on this, I would suggest referring to the most knowledgeable scholar]

http://www.al-islam....complete/20.htm

Edited a bit in this paragraph

I'm not going to lie but stopping what I'm doing to go pray is so frustrating and I normally miss most if not all of the morning prays on non-school days because I just can't get up and don't want to. I missed that prayer for nearly 2 weeks now, because I'm in my holiday :/

Ok now that we have identified a big problem of you not wanting to stop what you are going to do to go pray, it means you view the prayer insignificantly. I would advise going on this thread and watching the lectures there and reading the books posted because once you realise how big of a blessing prayer is you would love it when the time for prayer comes rather than feeling it is a burden (which isn't only you by the way, I too feel that way alot of the time but these lectures do help)

:http://www.shiachat....55#entry2372555

Things like my social life are being affected again since we're not meant to mix with the opposite gender and I had no limits back then, I did everything with the opposite sex except have intercourse.

Well I don't know if you know about this (I didn't until a few months after I started praying even though I was born in a family who were shia), but in Shia Islam there is something called temporary marriage. You can only do it with Ahlul Kitab and there are other conditions and rules on it but if all the conditions and rules are followed islamically and correctly then you can still have a relationship with a girl. I would advise you to look into this

And I got told its compulsory to lower my gaze, whats the point, last time I tried I looked down and there was a magazine on the floor which was worse, and I'm use to seeing these things so it doesn't affect me but I still have to do it, pointless.

You believe it doesn't affect you but we are told that the eye is the gateway to the heart/soul. What the eye sees does affect our soul and the fact that it has now become normal to you shows how much it has affected you seeing these kinds of stuff, because it's not supposed to be something normal. Next time if you look down and there is a magazine pick it up and throw it in the bin, that way you have also saved potentially hundreds of other people looking at it too.

I missed out on parties, concerts, things I normally do with friends, etc... Like I said my whole lifestyle has to change in order for me to actually be a Muslim and not commit sins.

Parties and Concerts and these kinds of stuff may seem the 'norm' but there is nothing good about them. They are filled with haraam acts such as - dancing, singing, music (and more). For most people growing up in the west (such as myself) it may seem like something normal, but it is a playground of satan. By attending it you are only going to distance yourself from Allah سبحانه وتعالى.

Edited a bit in this paragraph

And yeah I live in north west, around Wembley Stadium.

What I would advise is change your friends and surroundings to Muslim people, friends do affect us, it is even mentioned in narration(s) that we should pick good friends as they will affect our behaviour too.

Stanmore Mosque is not too far from Wembley Stadium, a few stops with the train and then a 20 minute walk, I have met a few people from shiachat after only talking to them a few times and honestly I view them as closer friends than people whom I have known for 10 years or more due to the fact that we are bonded with the love of Allah (swt) and Ahlul Bayt (as) and are friends for the sake of Allah (swt)

If you want, next time there is an event at stanmore mosque come with us, or even tomorrow come to Jummah prayer and afterwards there is a protest in central london about the killings in pakistan if you want come to that too (the others who are coming live in north west area so you can go back with them and that way become more closer friends insha'Allah)

[Edited out some advice I gave because I wasn't sure if it was Islamic or not]

if there is any particular part you wish to talk more about please let me know, and we are brothers in faith you are like a brother to me so please do not hesitate to ask me anything :)

(wasalam)

Edited June 19, 2012 by Shia_Debater

[Crimson]

I would suggest slowly replacing Music with acapella (rap without a beat) and then from this slowly work your way to replacing that with Nasheeds and Latmiya and then from that to Qur'an or even both. If you really don't want to then that is your choice however Music itself is a greater sin

http://www.al-islam....complete/20.htm

I really don't know about that tbh, music is probably the only thing that I wont stop or change, I'm not gonna change my self completely just so I can be a good Muslim.

Well I don't know if you know about this (I didn't until a few months after I started praying even though I was born in a family who were shia), but in Shia Islam there is something called temporary marriage. You can only do it with Ahlul Kitab and there are other conditions and rules on it but if all the conditions and rules are followed islamically and correctly then you can still have a relationship with a girl. I would advise you to look into this

You mean mutah, that's not gonna happen :P It would result with a slap to my face or her dads shoe up my backside. And I don't find girls who wear a hijab attractive YET. They weren't and still aren't my type and I haven't been attracted to one yet, don't know why but yeah.

Parties and Concerts and these kinds of stuff may seem the 'norm' but there is nothing good about them. They are filled with immoral acts, gender mixing, dancing, singing, music, going wild etc. From most people growing up in the west (such as myself) it may seem like something normal, but it is a playground of satan. By attending it you are only going to distance yourself from Allah سبحانه وتعالى.

Yeah true but it's what I enjoy. I use to be very out going and didn't turn down anyone or events but now, while everyone enjoys themselves I'm stuck at home watching movies or playing games, that's depressing. And I don't mean to come of rude, my dad has taken me to mosques before and I get bored on different levels that I end up on my phone because I can't take it.

How can I gradually stop, that's like doing things that are wrong so I know I'm sinning which is bad already and I sin less as time goes by, that doesn't work because what's haram is haram, well that's what I know anyway.

I'm happy that I know what the right religion, etc, but I doubt I'm gonna enjoy myself like before. Sometimes I regret stumbling across that video, but then at the same time I don't.

I am ready to give somethings up, but simply not everything. That would just drag me away even further. I knew one or two good Muslims and did hang out with them for a bit and I'm not going to lie, I didn't enjoy my time since they are the complete opposite of what I was in terms of everything because everything I like is technically haram :P but yeah, I'm prepared to give things up, but not everything.

What you said is true, since I started following Islam again I have been incredibly bored.

[Shia_Debater]

I really don't know about that tbh, music is probably the only thing that I wont stop or change, I'm not gonna change my self completely just so I can be a good Muslim.

If thats your choice and nothing I say is going to change your mind then theres not much else I can say on this except for praying that Allah (swt) removes from you the desire of wanting to listen to music

You mean mutah, that's not gonna happen :P It would result with a slap to my face or her dads shoe up my backside. And I don't find girls who wear a hijab attractive YET. They weren't and still aren't my type and I haven't been attracted to one yet, don't know why but yeah.

loool yeah :P Well Mutah is allowed with Ahlul Kitab (people of the book) so that means christians and jews aswell, so it doesn't have to be a shia girl, besides it would probably be hard to do mutah with a muslim girl because she may want to marry a man permanently however there are many many christian girls who will believe in the faith but will not follow it and probably some jewish girls too so I mean its not impossible to do. Plus the permission of the parent may not be hard to get if the parent is already allowing the girl to have boyfriends. Also not all scholars say its obligatory to get the permission of the parents for it so it depends on which scholar you follow. The hard part in my opinion would be trying to find a girl through halal means who would be willing to contract mutah with you.

Yeah true but it's what I enjoy. I use to be very out going and didn't turn down anyone or events but now, while everyone enjoys themselves I'm stuck at home watching movies or playing games, that's depressing.

From what I have heard and read, giving up a habit takes 40 days to get it out of yourself. I would suggest trying to not go to any events or anything like them for just 40 days and I can almost guarantee that after those 40 days you will not feel an urge or longing to go back to it

And I don't mean to come of rude, my dad has taken me to mosques before and I get bored on different levels that I end up on my phone because I can't take it.

When he took you, were there any other people your age you hanged out with there? Or you were just sitting with your dad and watching a lecturer talk about something? If you go to the mosque but with other people your age you will probably enjoy it much more

How can I gradually stop, that's like doing things that are wrong so I know I'm sinning which is bad already and I sin less as time goes by, that doesn't work because what's haram is haram, well that's what I know anyway.

What I mean is, if you are 100% adamant that you aren't going to give it up then its better to at least give it up slowly than to not give it up at all. But you are right haram is haram and the quicker you manage to give it up the better it is.

I'm happy that I know what the right religion, etc, but I doubt I'm gonna enjoy myself like before. Sometimes I regret stumbling across that video, but then at the same time I don't.

I am ready to give somethings up, but simply not everything. That would just drag me away even further. I knew one or two good Muslims and did hang out with them for a bit and I'm not going to lie, I didn't enjoy my time since they are the complete opposite of what I was in terms of everything because everything I like is technically haram :P

Maybe the one or two muslims you knew weren't shia (don't get me wrong its good to be friends with muslims from other sects but having a friend from the same sect feels much better) and also maybe instead of them helping you they were kind of forcing things, or maybe you just simply didn't like it. But yeah if you want when there is an event next time at stanmore Mosque come with me and some others, you might think now that its awkward but its not as awkward as it may seem and I suppose after a few times you will get used to it, I've met quite a few people from shiachat and a few of them are now close friends of mine.

but yeah, I'm prepared to give things up, but not everything.

These are the things which I meant you should give up slowly if you are adamant that you aren't prepared to give it up straight away.

What you said is true, since I started following Islam again I have been incredibly bored.

The best thing is to surround yourself with friends who are muslim and even better if they are shia, and to go to the mosque and pray there (since this will take up some time of yours) and try to enjoy yourself through halal ways and gain more knowledge and keep remembering this isn't permanent. Sometimes I think man I'm so bored or this is depressing but I know that my life isn't going to be like this forever, maybe in a few years time I will get married and then start to have a family of my own, maybe I will get a job and meet new people and new friends, maybe my interests will change etc.

A big thing I would say you should do if you haven't is, repent for your sins that you used to do, they may already be forgiven or they may not but repenting will cleanse and purify your soul, also make sure you pray. The Qur'an says that praying is a barrier from committing sins, we may not see this physically but spiritually it does affect us and helps us, also supplicate to Allah سبحانه وتعالى, some of the supplications of Ahlul Bayt (as) are truly heart touching and inspiring

(you can supplicate in any language, but its nice listening to it and reciting along in arabic whilst reading the english translation if you don't understand arabic, but you can do it in any language which you are comfortable with)

here are a few

http://www.duas.org/...adiya/dua70.htm

http://www.duas.org/...adiya/dua72.htm

http://www.duas.org/...adiya/dua83.htm

and once again if you need help or want to talk about anything then please let me know

and dont forget dont miss any of your prayers <-- its very very important that you don't

[Guest Jebreil]

(bismillah)

(salam)

crimson

What music do you listen to?

What music do you play?

(wasalam)

[Ali Musaaa :)]

(bismillah)

(salam)

Do not give up piano. Music is like speech. A person with no vocabulary who swears every 2 words becomes awful music. A person who loves life, who loves God, who loves family, who loves knowledge, who loves the mystery of the world, and who wishes to express the glory of God, the emotions of humanity and the wonders of nature plays ecstatic music.

Not everything that rhymes well is poetry. Not everything that has a good beat is music. Be religious with your music, and your music may liberate you.

(wasalam)

It's Haram Brother. No question about it. You shouldn't give advice like this without proper research, the Scholars say music and musical instruments are totally haram. I'm presuming the piano would fall under this category as well. I could be wrong?

To the OP, Brother when I first converted to Islam I found out that Music was haram. To be honest I was devastated. I really loved my music, but I was able to refrain from music completely for a while and I never had any issues. Then one day my Christian friend offered me to listen to this song. I listened to it and I fell in love with the album it was on. I began to listen to music again and then one day I was in school and had a free period (no class) so I was in the library studying with earphones in listening to music and all of a sudden it hit me like a truck! I just realised that ever since I started listening to Music, my whole consciousness of Allah was completed destroyed and I didn't even notice. I was so upset. I throw the earphones out of my ears at that moment and I realised why Music is haram. It completed removed any consciousness of God I had in my mind :( it made me feel so sad and upset inside.

Brother, my point is, if you take music out of the picture it will help a lot. I promise. This is just one thing I went through and I'm glad Allah made me realise it was doing so much damage and I didn't even notice. Just try to refrain from music altogether and replace it with Qur'an recitations or Islamic Songs. If you want I know a website where you can download any Surah of the Quran for free. It's recited by Sheikh Al-Afasy, it's so beautiful. Just ask :)

But yes, I would not continue playing Piano as well. Becuase if you give up listening to Music but still play piano... Then you have lost the battle with Shaytan. Becuase you will want to listen to music again if you are playing the piano. This is your Jihad , your struggle that you must go through. We are all tested in different ways by Allah, and this is just how you are being tested. You can get through this, I am certain :)

May Allah help you and make your Iman strong :)

Wassalaam

[Guest Jebreil]

(bismillah)

(salam)

Ali

I gave my advice based on edicts from a group of maraje. It is not a consensus that music by itself is haram. But I suppose for people who listen to most albums coming out now - yes, it is haram. But then I would call that noise.

(wasalam)

Edited April 13, 2012 by Jebreil

[Crimson]

loool yeah :P Well Mutah is allowed with Ahlul Kitab (people of the book) so that means christians and jews aswell, so it doesn't have to be a shia girl, besides it would probably be hard to do mutah with a muslim girl because she may want to marry a man permanently however there are many many christian girls who will believe in the faith but will not follow it and probably some jewish girls too so I mean its not impossible to do. Plus the permission of the parent may not be hard to get if the parent is already allowing the girl to have boyfriends. Also not all scholars say its obligatory to get the permission of the parents for it so it depends on which scholar you follow. The hard part in my opinion would be trying to find a girl through halal means who would be willing to contract mutah with you.

Hmm, I meant to follow Sayyed Muhammad Hussein Fadlallah because my dad does, well that's what he said, personally I don't know anything about him apart from the fact that he died. Aren't I meant to find someone else now? But ill see what he says lol.

From what I have heard and read, giving up a habit takes 40 days to get it out of yourself. I would suggest trying to not go to any events or anything like them for just 40 days and I can almost guarantee that after those 40 days you will not feel an urge or longing to go back to it.

I haven't been to a party or a concert since December and I'm craving to go to the next one that comes, I missed out a lot and its the worst feeling ever lol. I don't think the 40 days rule works all the time.

When he took you, were there any other people your age you hanged out with there? Or you were just sitting with your dad and watching a lecturer talk about something? If you go to the mosque but with other people your age you will probably enjoy it much more.

No it was just older people and I had to sit there and watch the lecturer talk, it was in Arabic so I didn't get one word. I only understand the Lebanese Arabic lol. I don't have or know any friends that are shia who would want to go to the mosque so fail for me, and I imagine it would still be the same thing, we're not exactly going to start talking in the middle of a lecture with people around.

Surrounding myself with people who are shia and my age is hard to do, simply because I don't know any religious ones. I have really good sunni ones, but I can't go to mosques with them since they go to different ones.

(bismillah)

(salam)

crimson

What music do you listen to?

What music do you play?

(wasalam)

I listen to Rock, Classic Rock, R&B/Soul, Pop, Rap, Hiphop, Dubstep, Classical music, Piano instrumentals, Orchestras, Film scores(soundtracks) etc..

I play the Piano, drums and learning guitar as well as music production with music theory. When you learn music theory you start listening to everything lol.

Brother, my point is, if you take music out of the picture it will help a lot. I promise. This is just one thing I went through and I'm glad Allah made me realise it was doing so much damage and I didn't even notice. Just try to refrain from music altogether and replace it with Qur'an recitations or Islamic Songs. If you want I know a website where you can download any Surah of the Quran for free.

But yes, I would not continue playing Piano as well. Becuase if you give up listening to Music but still play piano... Then you have lost the battle with Shaytan. Becuase you will want to listen to music again if you are playing the piano...

Firstly I find the Qur'an and Dua depressing to listen to, I think it's the way they read it if you get me? And I don't understand that Arabic too. Secondly you just asked me to throw away something I been doing for the past 12 years of my life... It's things like this that make people give up.

[Ali Musaaa :)]

(bismillah)

(salam)

Ali

I gave my advice based on edicts from a group of maraje. It is not a consensus that music by itself is haram. But I suppose for people who listen to most albums coming out now - yes, it is haram. But then I would call that noise.

(wasalam)

I understand and agree. We just need to be careful. If u didn't notice, I gave my reason as to why I had to give up music. Basically since converting to Islam and then still listening to music it destroyed all my consciousness of God. I had to get rid of it. Perhaps this apporach may help others as well, inshAllah

[Shia_Debater]

Hmm, I meant to follow Sayyed Muhammad Hussein Fadlallah because my dad does, well that's what he said, personally I don't know anything about him apart from the fact that he died. Aren't I meant to find someone else now? But ill see what he says lol.

I'm not sure whether you have to find someone else or whether you can follow him after his dead. Maybe someone more knowledgeable can say so

I haven't been to a party or a concert since December and I'm craving to go to the next one that comes, I missed out a lot and its the worst feeling ever lol. I don't think the 40 days rule works all the time.

Well it sounds like you love music alot and that is probably the reason why you are craving to go to these concerts and parties, if there wasn't any music at these concerts or parties do you think you would have still wanted to go as much? If not then its probably the music which is bringing you down.

No it was just older people and I had to sit there and watch the lecturer talk, it was in Arabic so I didn't get one word. I only understand the Lebanese Arabic lol. I don't have or know any friends that are shia who would want to go to the mosque so fail for me, and I imagine it would still be the same thing, we're not exactly going to start talking in the middle of a lecture with people around.

You're kinda right but when someone you know is there then you talk and joke about before the lecture, watch the lecture (and the lecturer usually says a few jokes in the lecture as well) and after the lecture you relax, usually they will give some food maybe some tea etc. and you just sit and talk and in general have fun

Surrounding myself with people who are shia and my age is hard to do, simply because I don't know any religious ones. I have really good sunni ones, but I can't go to mosques with them since they go to different ones.

Well this website is a great place to start, I knew 1 shia only before ShiaChat.

On ShiaChat I started talking to people and adding them on FB and MSN and stuff aswell, all of them live pretty far from me but when they went to an event or a lecture near my house I went with them and it was fun, over the course of being on ShiaChat from last June till now, I've met like 12 people from this website, I've met a further 5-6 people who were either friends or relatives of people who I met on shiachat so I've met like 16 altogether, although some of them I'm not really close with, others I am really close friends with now alhamdulillah.

insha'Allah tomorrow I am going to go to Stanmore Mosque with two people from ShiaChat and then the cousin and brother of one of them is going to come too so now I will have met an additional 2 shias etc.

If you want come with us tomorrow, we are all pretty much around your age, I'm 17, two of the others from shiachat are 19, I'm not sure about the age of the cousin or the brother of one of them or if you don't feel comfortable doing so thats fine, maybe get to know us a bit more through shiachat and then next time come with us.

[Guest Jebreil]

(bismillah)

(salam)

Crimson

This is a suggestion:

Instrumentals and lyrics -

if lyrics are immodest or vain, then it inclines towards haram.

if instrumentals upset your emotions, throw you to despair, make you lazy, or any other deficiency, then it inclines towards haram.

The way to neutralise the negative effects of some instrumentals is to enjoy the piece disinterestedly and appreciate the depth, and not involve oneself - entangle oneself - in the sounds.

lyrics and instrumentals which reveal God, paradise, humanity, and nature to you are just prayers on staves. Cherish them, I say.

Ali

Perhaps it's an unattractive thing, but I am very elitist with my taste. I couldn't think someone who enjoyed Vivaldi, Beethoven or Mozart would ever dream of renouncing music. Like renouncing a sacred prayer or a piece of philosophy played on violins and pianos.

(wasalam)

[Shia_Debater]

Firstly I find the Qur'an and Dua depressing to listen to, I think it's the way they read it if you get me? And I don't understand that Arabic too. Secondly you just asked me to throw away something I been doing for the past 12 years of my life... It's things like this that make people give up.

Surah 2 Verse 214 - Or do you think that you would enter the garden while yet the state of those who have passed away before you has not come upon you; distress and affliction befell them and they were shaken violently, so that the Messenger and those who believed with him said: When will the help of Allah come? Now surely the help of Allah is nigh!

Surah 2 Verse 216 - Fighting is prescribed upon you, and you dislike it. But it may happen that you dislike a thing which is good for you, and it may happen that you love a thing which is bad for you. And Allah knows and you know not.

Surah 3 Verse 142 - Do you think that you will enter Paradise without undergoing any trial, whereas Allah has not yet tried you to see who among you are ready to lay down their lives in His way and who will show fortitude for His sake.

Surah 29 Verse 2 - Do people think that they will be let go merely by saying: “We believe,” and that they will not be tested

Surah 47 Verse 31 - And verily We shall try you till We know those of you who strive hard (for the cause of Allah) and the steadfast, and till We test your record

As I said if you are adamant on never giving it up then remove it from your life gradually, personally I think that with what you have said and what others have explained about their story on music and how it distracted them from Allah سبحانه وتعالى, I truly believe that this is the focal point of your problems and is what is holding you back

May Allah (swt) assist us all and help keep us on the right path insha'Allah

[Crimson]

Well it sounds like you love music alot and that is probably the reason why you are craving to go to these concerts and parties, if there wasn't any music at these concerts or parties do you think you would have still wanted to go as much? If not then its probably the music which is bringing you down.

Well it's not just the music, its the atmosphere and the people there, just a fun night out.

If you want come with us tomorrow, we are all pretty much around your age, I'm 17, two of the others from shiachat are 19, I'm not sure about the age of the cousin or the brother of one of them or if you don't feel comfortable doing so thats fine, maybe get to know us a bit more through shiachat and then next time come with us.

I'm going to have to pass tomorrow since I got an appointment but maybe next time :)

(bismillah)

(salam)

Crimson

This is a suggestion:

Instrumentals and lyrics -

if lyrics are immodest or vain, then it inclines towards haram.

if instrumentals upset your emotions, throw you to despair, make you lazy, or any other deficiency, then it inclines towards haram.

The way to neutralise the negative effects of some instrumentals is to enjoy the piece disinterestedly and appreciate the depth, and not involve oneself - entangle oneself - in the sounds.

lyrics and instrumentals which reveal God, paradise, humanity, and nature to you are just prayers on staves. Cherish them, I say.

Ali

Perhaps it's an unattractive thing, but I am very elitist with my taste. I couldn't think someone who enjoyed Vivaldi, Beethoven or Mozart would ever dream of renouncing music. Like renouncing a sacred prayer or a piece of philosophy played on violins and pianos.

(wasalam)

If a song is depressing I don't listen to it, I only listen to what I like and true, it's close to impossible for me to give it up because I know to much about it, I studied it and still am for a very long time now, its second nature.

[Guest Jebreil]

(bismillah)

(salam)

Well it's not just the music, its the atmosphere and the people there, just a fun night out.

My last friendly suggestion to the feline: I have to join ranks with SD here and raise an eyebrow: why partying? there are other, more natural ways to socialise. Partying is like spending a night laughing at a dull joke - except that you think it's funny.

OK. I restrain myself. The Cat has heard enough.

Keep me in your prayers.

(wasalam)

Edited April 13, 2012 by Jebreil