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Goku

Men Only!: Controlling Sexual Desires?

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Sallam Alykum,

I need help with controlling sexual desires. I am 21 years old and like many young adults living in the western world it is very hard controlling these sexual desires. I tried everything from praying on time and asking Allah swt to help me, reading dua, listening to Islamic lectures, exercising, fasting, stopped listening to music, but nothing is working...

I can control myself for like a week tops but the urge after that is uncontrollable. for example, last week I was doing homework and out of no where sex popped into my head. I wasn't thinking about it or girls or anything before it happened...

I constantly do ghusl and ask Allah swt for forgiveness but this seems like it's out of my hands... I try so hard to stop but it seems impossible...

help me please.

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say ASSIST me please.

Better answer to your post is to GET MARRIED.

help and assist have the exact same definitions. Well ya marriage would be the ultimate cure, but I can't go and get married right away...

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It's funny like I was able to give up music easily. don't crave it or anything. I listen to nasheeds, lectures, etc when in the car or working out.

But their isn't any substitute for sexual desires. The only thing that get's rid of it is masturbation...

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NOPE!

You need strong WILL POWER to overcome this.

Masturbation is also HARAAM.

I don't have strong will power. The most I can go without the desires is about a week but then it all crumbles and I restart from step one...

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you need to fast, or at least eat as little as possible, if you make your body weak, that should do the trick.

The downside it will effect your concentration in general, so as the brother above said, it might be best to try enter into some form of marriage

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you need to fast, or at least eat as little as possible, if you make your body weak, that should do the trick.

The downside it will effect your concentration in general, so as the brother above said, it might be best to try enter into some form of marriage

I've tried fasting it work's for the day but once time time falls i fall into sin...

I wish I could get married but that process might take a long time... I'm also not ready for marriage...

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^^ (salam) brother

Unfortunately 90% of men, Muslim or non-muslim go through this stage whereby they are not able to control their desires. As a muslim however, it is our intellect that stops us from committing some unlawful things. We are easily influenced to go to the haraam by our emotions, desires etc. But when you just think of the negative effects of it, then it should stop you.

Don't worry, I too go through the same problem at times, however, have been able to overcome it since the past year.

What I do tend to notice is that most of us go through this difficult period when we are on the computer just a little bit too much. I would suggest not spending too much time online and also I would suggest taking a COLD shower (This one will work).

If none of the solutions that the brothers posted works, then marriage would become obligatory upon you. If you are not able to marry permanently, then you may do so through Mut'a (temporary marriage) - In this case, please make sure to keep your intentions clean & doing it only for the sake of Allah (Qurbatan ilallah) as I'm sure you've heard, that there are those who tend to abuse Mut'a.

Edited by Labbayk

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I've tried fasting it work's for the day but once time time falls i fall into sin...

I wish I could get married but that process might take a long time... I'm also not ready for marriage...

wake up very early so that when your head hits the pillow you fall straight to sleep

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^^ (salam) brother

Unfortunately 90% of men, Muslim or non-muslim go through this stage whereby they are not able to control their desires. As a muslim however, it is our intellect that stops us from committing some unlawful things. We are easily influenced to go to the haraam by our emotions, desires etc. But when you just think of the negative effects of it, then it should stop you.

Don't worry, I too go through the same problem at times, however, have been able to overcome it since the past year.

What I do tend to notice is that most of us go through this difficult period when we are on the computer just a little bit too much. I would suggest not spending too much time online and also I would suggest taking a COLD shower (This one will work).

I do spend hours on the computer, and ya the problem did start from the computer and the evil sites it has. I personally don't have many friends not a job currently so the internet is my way to "keep myself busy".

I'm thinking of doing a vow with Allah swt and if I break it I must fast 60 days... I can last a week but by the 7th day I will be hurting... This is an addiction and also a chemical balance thing so it's like just giving up anything... Guy's please pray for me....

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^^

It seems the computer is the root of your problem. In that case, Find yourself something to do. Go to the masjid regularly, discussion circles, gym, Do you study?? Look for a job etc. This is part and parcel of our life. We must constantly strive (Jihad), not just sitting around. Make use of your time, then see how automatically, slowly but surely this desire in you will lessen.

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^^

It seems the computer is the root of your problem. In that case, Find yourself something to do. Go to the masjid regularly, discussion circles, gym, Do you study?? Look for a job etc. This is part and parcel of our life. We must constantly strive (Jihad), not just sitting around. Make use of your time, then see how automatically, slowly but surely this desire in you will lessen.

I go to the gym and also study in college but I understand that sexual desires is a test in itself. The past few weeks I have been trying to strengthen my faith. I decided I will make a vow with Allah swt to attempt to stop these sinful acts... InshAllah it works =[

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this is a very critical issue for muslim man,I dont prefer to give any advice to on it as i dont have any,but I can just pray that may Allah help all momeenin who sincerely do tauba and try to refrain from Sin.

abdullah-rolle-sabr.jpg

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Its simple:

Get married.

If you can not get permanent marriage- get temporary marriage.

If you are unable to do that - then Fast.

Yes, marriage is the best solution for this... InshAllah I will get married soon.

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Marriage is the only halal way to get these desires out, but you need to make sure that you're socially and economically responsible enough for that kind of commitment. You may get your wife pregnant in a permanent or temporary marriage, in which case, you are responsible for the feeding, clothing, and shelter of your child. You need to be ready for that possibility. If you're not, then it's best to start fasting... you can start by fasting twice a week, and if you still get those feelings, then you can increase your fasting. Everyone has sexual desire and there's no way we can get rid of it completely, but we can fight it if our faith is strong, and it's best that you keep yourself as busy as possible so that you have things on your mind that trump sex. You may be single for years to come, you just need to control yourself until you find the right girl and opportunity.

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Don't fool yourself with abstinence, it does not work for young men in our current world, be it in West or elsewhere. The

Go for a girl friend in strictly halal relationship and see if you could find yourself some muslim girl for muta turning it onto a permanent marriage. Better yet, talk to your parents to get you engaged-nikah, even if she does not live with you. As you both get emotionally involved, you can get together eventually. Tell your parents it's either you being exposed to sins or this.

Lots of young kids confuse need for 'romance or belonging or companionship' with need for sex. Once you find a spouse, even long distance, you will be immune to sexual thoughts.

Definitely do not roam around without a halal partner, you are way exposed to sins and tricks of iblees.

I know many friends who married in 21 years of age and are going to Med. schools and stuff, so early marriage is not a show stopper for studies.

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Sallam Alykum,

I need help with controlling sexual desires. I am 21 years old and like many young adults living in the western world it is very hard controlling these sexual desires. I tried everything from praying on time and asking Allah swt to help me, reading dua, listening to Islamic lectures, exercising, fasting, stopped listening to music, but nothing is working...

I can control myself for like a week tops but the urge after that is uncontrollable. for example, last week I was doing homework and out of no where sex popped into my head. I wasn't thinking about it or girls or anything before it happened...

I constantly do ghusl and ask Allah swt for forgiveness but this seems like it's out of my hands... I try so hard to stop but it seems impossible...

help me please.

(bismillah)

(salam)

I think it doesn't matter how much you fast or listen Islamic lectures or exercising.... it's a matter of how focused you are....Bro, try to change your focus of mind..& if you can then try to recite Surah al-Insan (Dahr) daily.. &..Dua e Noor (Sagheer)

Thanks...

May Allah ÓÈÍÇ äÀ æ ÊÚÇ áí Guide us all to Truth and keep us on the straight path.

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i beleive many on this forum or the whole site are currently going or has gone through or are going to pass from this stage.

as of my view i can say that marriage is impossible in this stage

In todays world if u want a relegious good looking and a desired girl he should have a bank balance of not less then a million

A Minimum 1000 sq ft shop

Which gives an output of minimum 10000 dollars p.m

2 lavish cars

And a master penthouse.

Snap character etc doesnt works now if u Have all this you will get wat u want if you dont then ..... You all know.

Controlling lust is a toughest task today

Dont know whAt is the permanent cure for this except marriage.

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ÈÓã Çááå ÇáÑÍãä ÇáÑÍíã

Your age is suitable for marriage. But say not 'nothing is working.'

[39:53] Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful."

And keep up your supplicating, nothing changes fate except the weapon of the Prophets.

[2:45] And seek help through patience and prayer, and indeed, it is difficult except for the humbly submissive [to Allah]

In any way, you might consider this. You have always progressed. I advice you to keep up the fasting and follow its etiquette and not on a merely empty stomach. Be humble in your walk, and cast down your gaze. Guard your private parts and and turn away from frivolous and vain speech [such as music]:

[23:3] And who keep aloof from what is vain,

[23: 5] And who guard their private parts,

Once again, I do really emphasize on your fasting. Many who observe fasting, especially during the Month of Ramadan, do not follow the etiquette of fasting and do not ripe any benefit from it. Thus they only endured hunger and tiredness and remained in the same seat of faith without any improvement and got only regret [in this world] and remorse [on the Day of Judgement].

I also advice you to stay awake after Salat al-Subh (Dawn prayer). It will decrease your sexual urge, and aloof any voluntarily discharge of semen [during sleep]. And according to Imam al-Baqir (as), Allah - Mighty and Exalted - cure those who are afflicted with a disease or sickness during the daybreak.

And keep up the remembrance of Allah! Indeed, His name is the medicine and His remembrance is the Cure [Narrated by Imam 'Ali (as)]

[62:10] and remember Allah often that you may succeed.

Moreover, if this sexual urges goes beyond what you can handle (Ma'ath Allah) you can always pray Salat Ja'far b. Abi Talib (as) or Salat of the Prophet (SAWA) and Salat al-Layl. By Allah! He will answer your call; even if you ask for a kingdom like Prophet Solomon's (as) kingdom, He will grant you it as long as you do not despair of Allah's Mercy and do not doubt your prayer.

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Sallam Alykum,

I need help with controlling sexual desires. I am 21 years old and like many young adults living in the western world it is very hard controlling these sexual desires. I tried everything from praying on time and asking Allah swt to help me, reading dua, listening to Islamic lectures, exercising, fasting, stopped listening to music, but nothing is working...

I can control myself for like a week tops but the urge after that is uncontrollable. for example, last week I was doing homework and out of no where sex popped into my head. I wasn't thinking about it or girls or anything before it happened...

I constantly do ghusl and ask Allah swt for forgiveness but this seems like it's out of my hands... I try so hard to stop but it seems impossible...

help me please.

Salaam aleikum

Dear brother Goku:

The biggest thing here is energy. You have a lot of built-up energy. You have to expend it. So you have done right, by trying exercise.

Another possible solution, is to try to find a job that involves physical activity.

But of course you cannot always be exercising or doing physical work. So the other important thing you need to do, is to try to spend as little time alone as possible. If you're with your buddies, your mind will be occupied and won't wander off.

If all else fails, try seeking out some halal entertainment. Movies, TV shows, etc... that will not take your mind in that direction. One thing which is especially helpful, is laughing. Look for something that makes you laugh.

See if this floats your boat:

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I seriously hope you aren't advising him to commit zina (which is a greater sin)

And if you are advising him to do mut'a or marry then maybe you should word it in that way.

[REMOVED]

Edited by Replicant
Encouraging sinning

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