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Abu Lulu

When Would Polygamy Be Discouraged?

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asalamu alaykum wa rahmatulahi wa barakatu!

lets say that: you're happily married and you have a great wife. the 2 of you really make a great couple and she's thinks the world of you. however you want a second wife, because it is your right anyway...

so if you decide to marry a second wife, you would probably destroy the relation that you have with your first wife. so this would be a reason not to take a second wife. right?

now here's my understanding:

1. if you're happily married, then don't take a second wife unless it is based on a social problem and that woman is really in need of a husband. you could then maybe temp-marry her and help her and then release her. (so strictly business here)

2. if you're not happily married, then it would be a stupid idea to take a 2nd wife. you're not even capable of having a stable relationship with one wife, let alone two. besides, by taking a 2nd wife, you will make your first wife's blood boil! so having yourself a 2nd wife is not an option for a failed marriage.

so yeah, i'm confused as you probably have noticed. so my question is; when is polygamy allowed and when is it discouraged?

please read my entire post carefully. i'd love to have your thoughts and the fatwa's of our scholars.

thanks in advance and may Allah keep you safe!

Edited by Al-Muntadhar

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Should be allowed with ur wife's acceptace when...

there r less men compare to women like if the ratio is 1:3. To stop women frm doing ill act to satisfy their heart.

Ur wife can't bare children even though u can still live happily.

Ur wife is constantly sick (god forbid)

Its against manliness to hurt ur first companion, and to make someone else happy.

That's just my opinion, I'm not a sc "ayatollah".

I'm sure there is more to it.

Wasalaam

Edited by behayaat

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(bismillah)

وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلاَّ تُقْسِطُواْ فِي الْيَتَامَى فَانكِحُواْ مَا طَابَ لَكُم مِّنَ النِّسَاء مَثْنَى وَثُلاَثَ وَرُبَاعَ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلاَّ تَعْدِلُواْ فَوَاحِدَةً أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ ذَلِكَ أَدْنَى أَلاَّ تَعُولُواْ

And if ye fear that ye will not deal fairly by the orphans, marry of the women, who seem good to you, two or three or four; and if ye fear that ye cannot do justice (to so many) then one (only) or (the captives) that your right hands possess. Thus it is more likely that ye will not do injustice. (4:3)

Edited by Qa'im

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(bismillah)

وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلاَّ تُقْسِطُواْ فِي الْيَتَامَى فَانكِحُواْ مَا طَابَ لَكُم مِّنَ النِّسَاء مَثْنَى وَثُلاَثَ وَرُبَاعَ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلاَّ تَعْدِلُواْ فَوَاحِدَةً أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ ذَلِكَ أَدْنَى أَلاَّ تَعُولُواْ

And if ye fear that ye will not deal fairly by the orphans, marry of the women, who seem good to you, two or three or four; and if ye fear that ye cannot do justice (to so many) then one (only) or (the captives) that your right hands possess. Thus it is more likely that ye will not do injustice. (4:3)

What about mutah?

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What about mutah?

If you fear that you cannot treat your mut`a wife justly, then that option should be reconsidered. It's the same with ordinary marriage; you must be able to fulfill your obligations for your spouse before getting married to her.

Edited by Qa'im

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My sister is happily married but has always wanted to have a "sister wife" because she likes the idea of the bond that the two wives would share and has mentioned the idea on occasion to her husband. Within the last couple of months, her wishes came true: Her best friend who is a devout Christian had always been treated very badly by men and she was extremely lonely and sad (she had a very rough life). So my sister thought it would be a good think for her husband to take this woman as his mutah wife. He agreed and the Christian lady agreed and now they are married. The situation I think is mostly benefiting the Christian friend who desperately needed to have a responsible and loving man in her life but all seem happy. The Christian lady is open-minded about Islam and is doing her research and if all goes well, my sister would love for her to become her permanent "sister wife."

Anyway, to make that story kind of relevant to your question, I think a good situation for polygamy is when the wife desires an intimate female friend and there is and/ or there is an unmarried woman who is in need of having male companionship and the options for good men out there are few.

It is not allowed to have a muta with a non muslim woman, if you have a permanent muslim wife. Even if the permanent wife agrees to it you should not.

Those people who voted and liked the post should be knowing it.

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(bismillah)

(salam)

5. Religious difference. A woman may not marry a non-Muslim. In Sunnism, a man may marry a woman who is one of the 'People of the Book' (ahl al-kitab, i.e., Christians, Jews, and other religions with revealed scriptures). But in Shi'ism a man may not contract a permanent marriage with a non-Muslim, though he may marry one of the People of the Book temporarily. [26] If either of the spouses should become an apostate, the marriage is automatically annulled.

See Chapter 1 "Permanent Marriage" in the book Temporary Marriage in Islamic Law. http://www.al-islam.org/al-serat/muta/

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It is not allowed to have a muta with a non muslim woman, if you have a permanent muslim wife. Even if the permanent wife agrees to it you should not.

Those people who voted and liked the post should be knowing it.

There are ahadith that indicate the contrary:

[ 26466 ] 2 ـ وعنه ، عن الحسن بن علي بن فضال ، عن بعض أصحابنا ، عن أبي عبدالله ( عليه السلام ) قال : لا بأس أن يتمتع الرجل باليهودية والنصرانية وعنده حرة .

2 – And from him from al-Hasan b. `Ali b. Faddal from one of our companions from Abu `Abdillah عليه السلام. He said: There is no harm with the man doing mut`a with the Jewish woman and the Christian woman while there is a freewoman with him.

[ 26467 ] 3 ـ وعنه ، عن محمد بن سنان ، عن أبان بن عثمان ، عن زرارة قال : سمعته يقول : لا بأس أن يتزوج اليهودية والنصرانية متعة وعنده امرأة .

3 – And from him from Muhammad b. Sinan from Aban b. `Uthman from Zurara. He said: I heard him saying: There is no harm that one marries the Jewish woman and the Christian woman in mut`a while there is a wife with him.

http://www.*******.org/hadiths/marriage/muta/chapter-13

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^

Please refer to Sistani rules

Dear, another time he was arguing the exact opposite as to what he just told you. It is just for arguments sake....I wouldn't even bother with it if I were you.

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^

Please refer to Sistani rules

Sistani isn't the only opinion that counts. I'm not saying a man with a permanent Muslim wife should take kitabi temporary wives. What I am saying is you shouldn't be so quick to categorically say something isn't allowed, when there is evidence going in the opposite direction. It's like those who say it is haram to marry a kitabi woman permanently, while that is not the opinion of all scholars. If someone wants to say that in the opinion of their marja it isn't allowed, or in their own opinion, that's fine, but you shouldn't pretend that's the only opinion out there.

Dear, another time he was arguing the exact opposite as to what he just told you. It is just for arguments sake....I wouldn't even bother with it if I were you.

Do you ever have anything of substance to say?

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it is not allowed when u cannot show equal love, give equal money,spend equal time..i guess

It is not required to show equal love, or spend equal time.

2 – And from him from Safwan b. Yahya from `Abdullah b. Muskan from al-Hasan b. Ziyad from Abu `Abdillah عليه السلام in a hadith wherein he said: I asked him about the man who has two wives, one of them being more beloved to him than the other, is it (allowed) for him to favor her with something? He said: Yes, (it is allowed) for him to come to her three nights and (to) the other one a (single) night, for it is (allowed) for him to marry four women. So (as to) his two nights, he puts them wherever he wants – until he said: And it is (allowed) for the man to favor his women, some of them over some, so long as it is not four.

3 – Muhammad b. `Ali b. al-Husayn by his isnad from al-`Ala from Muhammad b. Muslim. He said: I asked him about the man who has two wives, and one of them is more beloved to him from the other. He said: (It is allowed) for him to come to her three nights, and the other a (single) night. So if he wants to marry four women, there is a (single) night for each woman. So consequently, it is (allowed) for him to favor some of them over some so long as it is not four.

http://www.*******.org/hadiths/marriage/distribution-and-disharmony/chapter-1

1 – Muhammad b. Ya`qub from `Ali b. Ibrahim from his father from Nuh b. Shu`ayb and Muhammad b. al-Hasan. He said: Ibn Abi ‘l-`Awja’ asked Hisham b. al-Hakam. He said to him: Is Allah not wise? He said: Of course, rather He is the wisest of the wise. He said: So inform me about His عزوجل saying “so marry such women as seem good to you, two, three, four; but if you fear you will not be equitable, then one” (4:3) is this not obligatory? He said: Yea. He said: So inform me about His عزوجل saying “You will not be able to be equitable between your wives, be you ever so eager; yet do not be altogether partial.” (4:129) What kind of wise one would speak like this? So he did not have an answer, so he travelled to Medina to Abu `Abdillah عليه السلام. And he said: O Hisham, in neither the time of hajj nor `umra? He said: Yes, may I be made your ransom, for a matter that has distressed me. Ibn Abi ‘l-`Awja’ asked me about an issue about which there is nothing with me. He said: And what is it? He said: So I told him the story. So Abu `Abdillah عليه السلام said to him: As to His عزوجل saying “so marry such women as seem good to you, two, three, four; but if you fear you will not be equitable, then one”, it means in maintenance (an-nafaqa). And as to His عزوجل saying “You will not be able to be equitable between your wives, be you ever so eager; yet do not be altogether partial so that you leave her as it were suspended” it means in love (al-muwadda). He said: So when Hisham came with this answer, and informed him, he said: By Allah, this is not from you.

http://www.*******.org/hadiths/marriage/distribution-and-disharmony/chapter-7

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Bismillah al rahman Al raheem

Sallam Alaikum

That is a complete disgrace . It's so unfortunate how little boys nowadays think polygamy is allowed whenever they want. Do you realise that there came a time when the banu Ummayads would burn up the holy scriptures to stop from the real message from sending.

It is crazy how most of the males in this forum pay attention to only the things a man can do. You hardly look at the strict conditions Allah has bestowed upon us all.

Allah tells the men that they can marry 4, but they cannot be fair even if they tried . However , if you cannot be fair then ony marry one. Is this not obvious enough for you? To take a 16 year old to identify that consent from the wife is very necessary.

When a man gives more attention to another one of his wife, the unlawful acts that the wife does (the one that doesn't get enough attention) , her sins fall on the man.

You make it seem so easy for a man to wake up , eat burp & then walk out & marry whoever he wants

Sometimes i wonder why you people ask there are moderate people who view islam as unacceptable . Please don't taint the message of islam. Islam God's religion where he has granted us rules for our benefit , not to hurt us!

Why are there still heartless men towards women?

Did Imam Hussain a.s not fight for human rights?

Do women somehow not fall under the 'human' category?

We need to educate people more about islam. Where is the gender equality? .

This isn't a man's world. It is for both

Prophet Muhammad pbuh even said women are twin halves of men. ~ we are one half , the men are the other, in society.

Stop tainting the message of islam please.

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