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In the Name of God بسم الله
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Guest LadyNadine

Why Is It Hard To Get Married

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I'm not saying different personalities cannot work together, but some people prefer personalities similar to theirs, while others prefer personalities that complement theirs.

And like it or not, Islam DOES allow a couple to be attracted to each other, so if there is just no chemistry there, that marriage just won't work. Things like this affect a marriage.

Or, what if a lady wants to work and her potential husband says she has to sit at home and cook for him? That's incompatibility, even though both may be very strong Muslims.

as goes for the last part of your post, this is what i think: in a marriage the couple would have to make some compromises. you cant say: "have it my way or the highway". this wont work. and coming to a compromise, our religion is the best solution for that. so in this case (assuming that the couple is devoted to their religion), the husband would lay down his arguments and the wife will also lay down her arguments for her wish. if you behave this way, i know for sure that there is going to be a compromise that will be acceptable of both. in your scenario: a couple days work and a couple days at home. if you just stick to the laws of your religion every obstacle will be taken care off. im a firmly believer of this. BUT! it has to come from both sides, only then you will have a perfect marriage.

and i think you're being a bit negative here. i mean for sure the woman has a reason why she wants something and the man also has his reasons. this is a good thing when discussed between the two. it will only make them come together more and more and more. as long as they treat eachother according to our religion.

so yeah, even that dramatic-scenario of yours wouldn't be a problem at all, to be honest.

thats what i think.

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as goes for the last part of your post, this is what i think: in a marriage the couple would have to make some compromises.

Quite a few couples have an arrangement where the wife stays home with the children until the youngest child starts school.....then she starts work again. That is what we are doing.....and I can't wait to get back to work :blink: LOL.

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The reason people find it hard is because of mutah.

Seriosly,I will never do mut'a.Even i know is allowed,i belive in one true love for whole life.And when you love girl/women,there is no place to sombody third.I had manny chances for do it.Not actually mut'a,but in realation i had offters,and i'v never done.In place where i live,its a litlle hijab sisters,and those who wearing it,are wahabis.So most of my relationships was wit non hijab suni girls,but most of them have very bad ahlaq.But thanx Allah now here came some Shia sisters and i'm waiting for "real" one,to share love with her,spend my life with her,and rise family wit her.

InshaAllah!

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No need for personal comments, Awaiting. I am actually not looking to get married right now. It will happen when it happens. I'm actually not very liberal or very conservative, but rather, just moderate. I look in ALL circles for marriage, not just one. I don't want to compete with my husband. I want us to raise good kids together AND make a contribution to this world. People don't realize that even girls like me are flexible and would put family first, above all else. Girls like us ARE willing to work part-time and take some time off for the kids. I think that's a good compromise.

I'll obey my husband...I'll just make sure not to marry a guy who will make me do things I don't want to.

Edited by OneNoteSong

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^

i didnt know you were a girl. shiachat really needs to start adding genders to our profiles :dry:

Quite a few couples have an arrangement where the wife stays home with the children until the youngest child starts school.....then she starts work again. That is what we are doing.....and I can't wait to get back to work :blink: LOL.

what's your point sis? i know couples that share the duties equally; 3 days of work for the husband and 3 days he stays at home. vice versa for the wife.

if my wife wants me to work the full 6 days, i'd do so, but i could also ask her to work 2 days and i'll be working 4.

if you are feeling "oppressed" or ran over, you should talk to your husband about this.

its weird though, its as if people don't understand what religion stand for... it doesn't just exist out of praying, fasting and charity. it even exist out of how to wash your hands, let alone sharing the duties between man and wife.

Edited by Al-Muntadhar

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No need for personal comments, Awaiting. I am actually not looking to get married right now. It will happen when it happens. I'm actually not very liberal or very conservative, but rather, just moderate. I look in ALL circles for marriage, not just one. I don't want to compete with my husband. I want us to raise good kids together AND make a contribution to this world. People don't realize that even girls like me are flexible and would put family first, above all else. Girls like us ARE willing to work part-time and take some time off for the kids. I think that's a good compromise.

I'll obey my husband...I'll just make sure not to marry a guy who will make me do things I don't want to.

Working part-time is not compromise at all if the husband doesnt want you working in first place, which falls under haram. But if the husband has no problem that you work or not, then offcourse you can choose to work.

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It is oh-so-religious for someone to mock another person (sarcastic).

Please clarify, I'm not sure I understand the point of your question. Are you somehow trying to imply that it is un-Islamic to be moderately religious?

Edited by OneNoteSong

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^what's your point sis?

The same point as yours...compromise.

if you are feeling "oppressed" or ran over, you should talk to your husband about this.

HUH? Why does it have to be about feeling oppressed? Some people just enjoy working and their job :shifty:, I am one of them.

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Salaam to all ,

There always right people but the best way of noticing them is when you start seeing them and the whole family regularly, that's the time when hidden things whether good or bad about boy and the girl's family starts appearing in front of everyone's eyes. That is the best way of finding the right person for anyone and try to be in contact with the family openly because what ever anyone try's to hide, either good or bad habit no one can hide for long so the best way is to be in contact for good one or two years in all kind of ocations with all members of the family, small or big , young or old, that is the time you start seeing the truth about anyone.

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