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Ali Musaaa :)

Why Can't We Sit At A Table With Alcohol?

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Salaam Brothers/Sisters :)

I am only a new Muslim and converted last Ramadan but I know we are not allowed to sit at the same table where alcohol is consumed. I told my mum and she got really angry with me and we had an argument about it because she was having a party for her birthday tonight and I told her I can't sit at the same table where alcohol is being served...

Anyways, I know it's not good because it's haram and we are not to be with the company of those who are committing sins/haram acts but is there more too it than that?

Any other exact reasons why it's haram for Muslims to sit at the table where alcohol is served? I really need a good explanation to tell my family people who are at my place at the moment (cause is mums birthday so her friends are here :P)

But they will obviously ask why I'm not sitting with them whilst we have dinner and I would like to know what would a good response and explanation would be to them who are all non-Muslims?

Thanks in advanced :)

Wassalaam

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waslam,

first your a revert ? mashallah congrats on reverting, anyway second sayed ammar has a lecture on the prohibition of alcohol you should check it out it should be helpful for you :)

its the first on of ramadun 2010 http://www.sayedammar.com/sayedammarnakshc.html

inshallah its helpful

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mashallah thats actually reall good !!

yeh i love sayed ammar his the best!! enjoy :) and inshalah your problem can be fixed to i actually have a very similar problem

but mines with music so i have to explain why i cant listen to music except the sad thing is i have to explain it to muslims that shoudnt be listening to music themselves loll, God help me , inshallah this night just end in peace haha

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(bismillah)

يا أيها الذين آمنوا إنما الخمر والميسر والأنصاب والأزلام رجس من عمل الشيطان فاجتنبوه لعلكم تفلحون

صدق الله العلي العظيم

"Ijtinab" is is more than Haram.

Haram is just Haram. It is Haram to eat pork, but you can sit on a table with a guy eating pork. You can touch pork.

Ijtinab is to aviod. Means avoid being around it. And it is not an Option because in Arabic the "Alif" in "Ijtanibouh" is an "Alif" for Order. Means it is compulsary to avoid being anywhere around it.

Edited by RoAcHy

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(salam)

I think your approach was rather rushed and not so well-thought-of. Since you reverted just about a month ago, I suggest taking things slowly and tactfully. For example, you could've sat on the table, but perhaps asked yourself to be excused as soon as alcohol got served, perhaps on grounds like "I'm expecting a call" etc. In order to not make it into a lie, you could have texted to a friend immediately to make a "fake call" to your phone, right before alcohol got served.

That's just one way of doing things. No matter what you say or do, she is still your mother, and you could try a little harder not to hurt her while at the same time not compromising on the Islamic values you are now indoctrinating yourself with.

Inshallah you be well.

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(bismillah)

يا أيها الذين آمنوا إنما الخمر والميسر والأنصاب والأزلام رجس من عمل الشيطان فاجتنبوه لعلكم تفلحون

صدق الله العلي العظيم

"Ijtinab" is is more than Haram.

Haram is just Haram. It is Haram to eat pork, but you can sit on a table with a guy eating pork. You can touch pork.

Ijtinab is to aviod. Means avoid being around it. And it is not an Option because in Arabic the "Alif" in "Ijtanibouh" is an "Alif" for Order. Means it is compulsary to avoid being anywhere around it.

Salam,,

isnt pork najis,, so u cant touch it

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(salam)

I think your approach was rather rushed and not so well-thought-of. Since you reverted just about a month ago, I suggest taking things slowly and tactfully. For example, you could've sat on the table, but perhaps asked yourself to be excused as soon as alcohol got served, perhaps on grounds like "I'm expecting a call" etc. In order to not make it into a lie, you could have texted to a friend immediately to make a "fake call" to your phone, right before alcohol got served.

That's just one way of doing things. No matter what you say or do, she is still your mother, and you could try a little harder not to hurt her while at the same time not compromising on the Islamic values you are now indoctrinating yourself with.

Inshallah you be well.

why would he "lie" , isnt it better if he just explains it to his mum?

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mashallah thats actually reall good !!

yeh i love sayed ammar his the best!! enjoy :) and inshalah your problem can be fixed to i actually have a very similar problem

but mines with music so i have to explain why i cant listen to music except the sad thing is i have to explain it to muslims that shoudnt be listening to music themselves loll, God help me , inshallah this night just end in peace haha

Hahah, yeah Sis, he is awesome.

I had the same problem with my family and it didn't go well when they found out I can't listen to music. They made fun of me so it wasnt a good outcome. InshAllah you will find yourself in a better situation :)

Lol yeah when I first came to the Masjid all the young people my age are or younger are not religious at all except for one good brother who is my age and is a hafiz :D it was so cool to meet some who could memorise the Quran I was like :o WOW the first time I found out haha. But apart from him and myself all the other teenagers and kids younger than me are not familiar with things that are halal and haram. For example one brother who was Idk perhaps a 2 years younger than me so around 15-16 was playing on his phone rap music ... And it was like the 2nd time I went to the Masjid and I was like -_- reeealllly? Rap, in the Masjid -_-

Hahah

(salam)

I think your approach was rather rushed and not so well-thought-of. Since you reverted just about a month ago, I suggest taking things slowly and tactfully. For example, you could've sat on the table, but perhaps asked yourself to be excused as soon as alcohol got served, perhaps on grounds like "I'm expecting a call" etc. In order to not make it into a lie, you could have texted to a friend immediately to make a "fake call" to your phone, right before alcohol got served.

That's just one way of doing things. No matter what you say or do, she is still your mother, and you could try a little harder not to hurt her while at the same time not compromising on the Islamic values you are now indoctrinating yourself with.

Inshallah you be well.

Thanks, for your reply brother.

But it was extremely awkward because all the my brothers sat at the table where only 2 people could seat and no alcohol there but then when I sat at the big table everyone came and sat together around and everyone with alcohol... And I was already sitting down and just started eating. I could just get up and leave...

It's just I hate making a fuss with this sought of stuff because my family... Well. Some members havnt taken my decision well and will make fun of my and try and use Islam against me. So I say I can't even sit at the table with them, they say how stupid ect and argue and yell.. So I try to avoid topics like that..

For example when my dad found out I can't listen to music my brothers went to tell him (because he has an issue with me as a Muslim, I seriously don't know what his problem is) because he will say something or laugh ect. And my brothers just try and make fun of me about things like this so that's why I don't want to say anything about eating when there is alcohol on the table.

And that's exactly what happened when I told my mum and she pretty much flipped the lid, saying that it's stupid ect then arguing and yelling at me. So it's not things I like to bring up, and for that reason, I am quite hesistant about things like this.

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Asalamu Alaikum Ali. As a convert myself insha'Allah I can perhaps lend you some advise. Those first few years, have patience. Have patience with yourself, your family, and life in general. When I converted it (among other issues) led to me having to leave my home. The ridicule I faced from my family and the constant battles with my mother became to much to bear and frustrated me beyond all belief. However what made the situation as bad as it had become was not just my families attitude, but my impatience with them.

You will have to learn to let a lot of things go and forgive them for it. Let them vent, let them get angry, let them say what they need to say and keep good manners with them and things will change. Maybe not right away from in time. From what you said you seem like you have taken a pretty non-confrontational route with these issues, so thats a very good start. Unlike myself I confronted my family every step of the way lol.

But Al-hamdulillah today my mother has not only accepted me but shares a 'subtle' but present admiration for Islam. In fact she did so much research about Islam for the purpose of debating me on issues she knows more than some Muslims I have met lol. So remain patient, stay respectful and loving, and do the best you can to follow Al-Quran and Sunnah and don't compromise on that.

Thank you so much brother

Yes, that's exactly whats another problem... I can't stand it and I have no patience for them. I get so frustrated and angry so quickly because of what they say. I wish I could control my anger and tongue but sometimes I just can't :( and it doesn't help me and it makes things worse :(

I need patience and control over my tongue and inshAllah I will be half way there.

Thanks brother :)

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(bismillah)

(salam)

Your family actually loves you, its honestly why they argue and fight over these issues. There is a view in the society in which you live of what is 'normal' and 'rational' and Islam doesn't fit into these categories. What your family sees in Islam is this; there are prohibitions against music, prohibitions against pork and alcohol, prohibitions against premarital sex and dating, prohibitions against women showing their bodies. They see a list of negatives. They don't see the positives because the positives in any of this aren't easily seen when the things being prohibited are believed in societal standards as 'normal'. Islam is portrayed, although these portrayals are better now than 10 years ago, as a death cult. Many still don't see much farther than that and it scares them, so your family in you sees this; You have just joined up with the largest death cult in the world and are no longer 'normal'. Of course they are going to fight you, tease you, try any means possible to get you to change your current choice.

Of course Islam isn't a bunch of people who live only for death, and of course Islam is a beautiful religion teaching a more holistic, natural and in general a good way of life. It is the Islam you see that you will need to show them. Allah does not expect your life to change over night, HE expects you to gradually integrate the precepts of Islam into your daily life, eventually becoming the best you possible. Not only are you trying to work on changing your habits, but a convert has the added pressure of family at the same time, and their concerns and fears. This is my advice to you, rather than coming upon a situation and suddenly springing it on your family that you cant sit with them, for instance, a better way might be to talk to them about the teachings of Islam. Maybe some before the event and some more after but when you first tell them something is not allowed don't do it by saying I wont be sitting at the table with you. You can be helping your mother with putting groceries away and say to her "you know, this religion I feel sure is correct that I have started following, Islam, I think its really good for me. It teaches that alcohol is bad for you and you shouldn't be around it." Then give her (or other family members) the opportunity to say how they might feel and discuss with them, your feelings too, maybe you think to yourself that it is a difficult thing to do but you agree with the concept. In this manner you are not shoving a lot of what they perceive as negatives in their face, but a lot of dialogue and positives.

In this way also you aren't burning yourself out. When you try to change a hundred things about your life and the way you are living it all in the same day you will eventually become overwhelmed and go back to you old lifestyle because the new is too hard. Then you will later feel guilty about that and go back to trying to change a hundred things all in the same day and thus begins a cycle of, for lack of a better word, failure. You are human, Allah knows your human, and all HE asks is one thing at a time, and an ongoing attempt to become what you were created to be.

Pick out the most important things first, prayer in my opinion as a new convert is the most important, and also one of the hardest, there is a story about a convert to Islam who bought three alarm clocks and placed them between their bed and the bathroom all set at intervals and they would turn the first one off and go back to sleep then have to leave their bed to turn the other one off and fall back asleep on the floor and then the third one would go off and in the turning off of that alarm they would be so near the bathroom that they went ahead and made wudhu for the fajr prayer until one day they did not need all of those clocks. There are so many things that are difficult when you are not used to doing them, getting out of bed for a fajr prayer is only one, but you can work towards making these things habits. Speak to your family rather than announce, after several times of talking to your family about what Islam says concerning the prohibition of alcohol (and even eating a few times with them when alcohol is served) then you can say to them this time you would like to put this teaching into practice and not sit with them, maybe by then they will be open to the concept and tell you they simply wont serve alcohol with the meal so that you can eat with them.

These are just some few advices, and I pray I was able to help somewhat. Remember, Muslims are not perfect, they are only a people who try their best everyday, it is all any of us can really do.\

Ma'a Salaama

Thanks for your advice brother :)

Yes, I know they live me but they argue because they are ignorant and want to annoy me and upset me. It's not that they think I have entered a religion that goes and blows ppl up. They just can't accept it, (only a few people in my family are like this).

That's just the thing, they won't listen and they don't want to. I say something good about Islam and their response is along the lines of: "Oh yes of course, your religion is perfect and the best... You couldn't posssibly be wrong..." BLAH BLAH BLAH

And that usually comes from my father. On the outside sometimes he tries to be happy with my decision but I can tell in the inside it must kill him... He tries to argue about it but he knows NOTHING about Islam yet he criticises everything that it has to with it. But only the minor issues..never anything relating to our Belief in Tawheed, or Messenegers ect.. It's the other issues. he says Muslims are hypocrites and I ask how? And he gives me some answer that doesn't even make sense.... He said that Hazem El-Masri (a Muslim Ex rugby League player) and his wife were having dinner at a function type thing with other players and their wives and Hazem said his wife isn't allowed to sit at the table with other men. But his wife has recently written a book on Islam and my dad said.. She goes and writes a book saying how Islam is so fantastic and great and their woman can't even sit at the same table as their husbands, what a joke how stupid ect,.. They are hypocrites....

I'm like how are they hypocrites? He doesn't even put a logical answer together and it just frustrates me :( I told him Islam came to make things better and easier. I said how would you feel if you had to sit at a table with a bunch of young footballers and your husband... Would you feel more comfortable sitting with a bunch of rugby league players or other woman? He said he would feel comfortable with other woman in that case...

After this I'm thinking "what are you complaining about then? How does that make Muslims hypocrites? Because they use common sense and let woman sit with other woman so they feel more comfortable than sitting at a table with other men?

I feel so bad about it all because they make me so upset and angry that we are always arguing and fighting :( and I know it's not good but it's almost unavoidable.

I don't like speaking about these issues with them because I've already had a bad experience with the issue with Halal Meat... And it was a nightmare to say the least. One example, because we are Spanish my grandmother made Paella and they used pork ribs and I was like... -_- I ain't eating this. Then they tried to tell me it wasnt pork... I'm thinking to myself, "I'm a Muslim, not an idiot. It's clearly pork. Why try and tell me it's not?"

But yes, I don't have patience to deal with them and their debacles... I wish I did though. That's the problem, I have a thin patience for people who just want to cause trouble haha :P

InshAllah, they will grow more accepting of my decision in the near future

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(bismillah)

(salam)

My advice to you is not to argue with them. If an issue comes up and your father says Muslims are hypocritical you can agree and say yes, Muslims aren't perfect and don't always follow the religion perfectly; then add, but isn't it wonderful we believe that we can be forgiven of our mistakes and shortcomings? (I say this because as you know Muslims live in the world and have the same temptations as everyone else and not all make the right choices!) Make a quick comment and walk away. If they are serving pork and you aren't going to eat it don't make it an issue just don't eat it (If they put it on your plate its OK too, just don't eat it or anything that touched it). Someday they may decide to quit trying to serve it to you but even if they don't its alright, you wont be living under your parents roof forever. Avoid the debate or the argument, and when faced with a negative try and turn it into a positive, to avoid degenerating into debate walk away, find something else you want to do quickly, go to your room and read a book for instance. Eventually they will quit arguing. But loosing your temper and being defensive is the wrong way to go about it.

Say a quick Naade Ali whenever you feel frustrated, it helps a lot.

Ma'a Salaama

Edited by thenamelessone

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(salam)

Congratulations on your conversion. Honestly, I wouldn't have bothered to reply to this topic until I saw you said you converted in Ramathan. That really amazed me, what a beautiful month to be awaken in. You are blessed indeed!

AS for the alcohol, were you a drinker before? And you need no explanation to this. Listen close -

When the subject alcohol comes up, you probably avoid it right away, correct?

Alcohol is now out of your mind and you will try everything to avoid being around people who are drinking as well, right?

Now think real close. . . .

How do these actions comes to us? Because obviously before, alcohol wasn't that big of a deal right?

Allah swt enhances our ability once we really show our dedication.

You not wanting to be around it may only be because Allah doesn't want you to be around it.

Sometimes our actions could be guided by The Almighty and we don't even realize.

My mom always used to tell me, when there's alcohol around, don't go near them. Are your parents Christian/Catholic?

If so, just prove to them with their own beliefs and religion that alcohol is not permitted. Every religion bans alcohol if you do your research

Hope that helps, good luck!

(salam)

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(bismillah)

(salam)

My advice to you is not to argue with them. If an issue comes up and your father says Muslims are hypocritical you can agree and say yes, Muslims aren't perfect and don't always follow the religion perfectly; then add, but isn't it wonderful we believe that we can be forgiven of our mistakes and shortcomings? (I say this because as you know Muslims live in the world and have the same temptations as everyone else and not all make the right choices!) Make a quick comment and walk away. If they are serving pork and you aren't going to eat it don't make it an issue just don't eat it (If they put it on your plate its OK too, just don't eat it or anything that touched it). Someday they may decide to quit trying to serve it to you but even if they don't its alright, you wont be living under your parents roof forever. Avoid the debate or the argument, and when faced with a negative try and turn it into a positive, to avoid degenerating into debate walk away, find something else you want to do quickly, go to your room and read a book for instance. Eventually they will quit arguing. But loosing your temper and being defensive is the wrong way to go about it.

Say a quick Naade Ali whenever you feel frustrated, it helps a lot.

Ma'a Salaama

Thanks brother for all your advice, I really appreciate it :)

(salam)

Congratulations on your conversion. Honestly, I wouldn't have bothered to reply to this topic until I saw you said you converted in Ramathan. That really amazed me, what a beautiful month to be awaken in. You are blessed indeed!

AS for the alcohol, were you a drinker before? And you need no explanation to this. Listen close -

When the subject alcohol comes up, you probably avoid it right away, correct?

Alcohol is now out of your mind and you will try everything to avoid being around people who are drinking as well, right?

Now think real close. . . .

How do these actions comes to us? Because obviously before, alcohol wasn't that big of a deal right?

Allah swt enhances our ability once we really show our dedication.

You not wanting to be around it may only be because Allah doesn't want you to be around it.

Sometimes our actions could be guided by The Almighty and we don't even realize.

My mom always used to tell me, when there's alcohol around, don't go near them. Are your parents Christian/Catholic?

If so, just prove to them with their own beliefs and religion that alcohol is not permitted. Every religion bans alcohol if you do your research

Hope that helps, good luck!

(salam)

Salaam :)

Yes, brother, I said shahadah in the 20th of Ramadan inbetween the two very said days of Imam Ali (as) on the 19th and then finally passing away on the 21st. After I found this out, I decided that it is fitting that I adopt the name Ali after our Imam (as).

Umm, no brother I didn't drink before I became a Muslim. Although I did once at a party with friends has 1 mouth full of some kind of beer, and it was disgusting. But that was before I became a Muslim and after that I never did it again.

Yes I do my best to avoid it. It's so hard however because I are at school and I have only told like no more than 3 friends that I have become a Muslim and all my other friends havnt got s clue, because I'm really scared to tell them. Idk, maybe it's just me, but I feel worried to speak to them about it and in fact some are not quite tolerant so I think I will receive quite a lot of criticism for it. But that's because of the environment they were brought up in that they have some views like that. Also because we are all turning 18 at my school and in Australia the legal drinking age is 18 so now everyone is have parties ect (not that they didn't do this and drink alcohol before they turned18) but my friends invite me to their parties I of course tell them no and then some people try and make fun of me because of it. Idk, I guess it's the norm to do those things and go to parties but I don't want to be a part of that.

Yes they are all Catholics but I don't even think my parents believe in god at all... That's the impression I get from them. So they couldn't care less about what I show them in the bible unfortunately.

Thanks for your advice brother :)

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Salam ,

Another fact that i have heard - this is gonna sound crzy ,

If Alchol is being served on a table then its haram to be under the same roof of that place , doesnt matter if your not on the same table

gotta suck really badly :S

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Hahah, yeah Sis, he is awesome.

I had the same problem with my family and it didn't go well when they found out I can't listen to music. They made fun of me so it wasnt a good outcome. InshAllah you will find yourself in a better situation :)

Lol yeah when I first came to the Masjid all the young people my age are or younger are not religious at all except for one good brother who is my age and is a hafiz :D it was so cool to meet some who could memorise the Quran I was like :o WOW the first time I found out haha. But apart from him and myself all the other teenagers and kids younger than me are not familiar with things that are halal and haram. For example one brother who was Idk perhaps a 2 years younger than me so around 15-16 was playing on his phone rap music ... And it was like the 2nd time I went to the Masjid and I was like -_- reeealllly? Rap, in the Masjid -_-

Hahah

omg people at the masjid no comment loll, especially around our area (i saw your profile your from NSW)

but hamdellah i survived my night , how was ur alcohol struggle lol

when i was praying last night i sat and remembered imam hussein and i thought were would i be if i was at karballah ?

partying with the enemy or praying with our imam ? and then i just repeated hamdellah , hamdellah that even though its a struggle its a beautiful struggle that brings us closer to Allah swt and allows us to inshallah be among the people he loves, actions speak louder then words its only when your actually put between halal and haram that you can see how strong your iman is

May Allah swt reward you for your struggles brother !

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Salam ,

Another fact that i have heard - this is gonna sound crzy ,

If Alchol is being served on a table then its haram to be under the same roof of that place , doesnt matter if your not on the same table

gotta suck really badly :S

(bismillah)

(salam)

you got a reference for that bro? :D

(wasalam)

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omg people at the masjid no comment loll, especially around our area (i saw your profile your from NSW)

but hamdellah i survived my night , how was ur alcohol struggle lol

when i was praying last night i sat and remembered imam hussein and i thought were would i be if i was at karballah ?

partying with the enemy or praying with our imam ? and then i just repeated hamdellah , hamdellah that even though its a struggle its a beautiful struggle that brings us closer to Allah swt and allows us to inshallah be among the people he loves, actions speak louder then words its only when your actually put between halal and haram that you can see how strong your iman is

May Allah swt reward you for your struggles brother !

Yeh I am sure there are Shia somewhere in my area but I've never met one unfortunely :(

Haha it went well Sister, had no dramas on my end. Yes it is a struggle and this is just one of the many challenges we have to deal with. Very true Sister inshallah we can all become closer to Allah through our own struggles

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Are your parents Christian/Catholic?

If so, just prove to them with their own beliefs and religion that alcohol is not permitted. Every religion bans alcohol if you do your research

Every religion does NOT ban alcohol. Especially not Catholicism. Catholics even drink actual wine every Sunday for communion. And mainstream Protestants also do not ban alcohol. A lot of Christianity comes through theology, not just the Bible. I'd also like you to show a verse in the New Testament that says alcohol is banned, not from the Old Testament. Most Christians believe those laws do not apply to Gentiles (non-Jews). (otherwise Chriatians would not eat pork either since it's forbidden in Leviticus.)

As for alcohol - if you want the evidence and not just the reasoning there are ahadith on this. I'm using my phone to comment at the moment so don't feel like getting them. There are other threads on this topic and if you do a quick search you'll find them inshaa Allah.

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My son has converted to Islam which has created many problems in our family.  One of the problems is that he refuses to be part of any family celebrations because alcohol is present.  This upsets me greatly as these occasions are what brings our family together and as he is never present it is like he is no longer a member of the family.  From what I know of Islam the family is most important and your Mother is the most important person in your life and so it doesn't make sense to me that he would allow Islam to separate him from his family and destroy his relationship with his Mother.  I have found it very difficult to come to terms with his change of faith but he is an adult and it is a personal choice, however I don't believe that it should impact on the family the way it has.  If he doesn't want to drink alcohol or eat pork that is his choice but why is Islam so restrictive that it means that he can't be a part of family celebrations?  We do not live in a Muslim country, we live in a country where it is part of our culture to celebrate birthdays, Christmas, weddings, christenings etc. and at those celebrations there is alcohol and often music.  Where we live there are no alcohol free venues and even if there was why should we have to change our culture and how we celebrate to fit in with Islam?  He should be able to attend and just not drink alcohol or eat pork.  Just because there is alcohol in a home or venue doesn't mean we are all drunks and terrible people which is how he now views us.  It is insulting.  Why is there no respect for our traditions and culture?

 
I also find it terribly difficult to deal with his constant lecturing on Islam and the way he views non-muslims.  My family were all born into the Christian faith, as was my son, and although we are not particularly religious we are good people and live our lives with Christian values.  I brought up my son to be open minded and accept people of all faiths.  Now he speaks very badly of non-muslims, especially Jewish people.  We have family friends who are Jewish.  We also have friends who are gay and he is equally scathing of them.  He also believes that anyone who is not muslim will go to Hell.  I do not believe that God, any God, is so judgemental.  People cannot choose the faith of the family they are born into.  Nor can many people choose their sexuality.  I believe that God is loving, kind, tolerant, understanding and forgiving and as such he would not condemn someone to hell for the faith they were born into or their sexuality. 
 
I also find it terribly difficult to tolerate his changed views on women when he was brought up to respect women and treat them as equals.  His views are archaic, chauvinistic and have no place in today's society.  He also is unemployed and will not even apply for 90% of jobs available because there is something which contradicts Islam, whether it be a connection to music, alcohol, pork, gambling, interest or the government (because of their defence policies).  What good is Islam to him?
 
It seems to me that Islam is an oppressive faith, designed to control the masses.  It appears to rule by fear not love.  No-one dares to speak against it, question it or forgo it as there is the fear of the ultimate punishment, death.  It countenances the oppression of women, the mutilation of innocent children with circumcision, the inbuilt hatred of other faiths and acts of terrorism.  It is supremely arrogant.  There is no other way except Islam.  I was once accepting of other faiths but it has stolen my son like some sort of cult, my heart is broken.  Meanwhile the 'reversion' of another 'infidel' is celebrated whilst I mourn the destruction of my family. 

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(salam) Lone crusader

 

My dear brother in humanity, you are already talking as if you are already one of us, when you say things like "reverting"! It always puts a smile on my face when I see a fellow sibling in mankind speaking with such beauty towards Islam, and retaining the akhlaq (etiquettes) and the conservative values that his current faith in Allah has blessed him with. Just a selection of verses from the Noble Book, which continues the message brought to mankind through David (As) , Moses (as) and Jesus (as) among many other prophets to mankind, many with scriptures:

"Say: 'Nothing will happen to us except what God has decreed for us: He is our protector': and on God let the Believers put their trust.  (The Noble Quran, 9:51)"

"(Their bearings) on This life and the Hereafter. They ask thee Concerning orphans. Say: 'The best thing to do Is what is for their good; If ye mix Their affairs with yours, They are your brethren; But Allah knows The man who means mischief From the man who means good. And if Allah had wished, He could have put you Into difficulties: he is indeed Exalted in Power, Wise.  (The Noble Quran, 2:220)"

"And be steadfast in patience: For verily Allah will not suffer The reward of the righteous To perish.  (The Noble Quran, 11:115)"

"Nay, seek (Allah's) help With patient perseverance And prayer: It is indeed hard, except To those who bring a lowly spirit -- Who bear in mind the certainty That they are to meet their Lord, And that they are to return to Him.  (The Noble Quran, 2:45-46)"

"O ye who believe! seek help With patient Perseverance And Prayer: for Allah is with those Who patiently preserve.  (The Noble Quran, 2:153)"

 

It is therefore so clear that Allah never puts somebody in a difficult situation unless he knows that you can deal with it- if one has perseverance he can most certainly be successful in the test, and most certainly Allah will reward him for that. For example, a Sheikh during the month of Muharram told a most beautiful anecdote about a friend of his: He had been for a job interview, and refused to shake hands with the woman, at this banking firm. She allowed him the job nonetheless, but the man said that he would not deal with transactions involving immoral things (e.g. alcohol, Zionism, other similar things involving usurping the life or health of others). She refused to give him the job at first, but a few weeks later he received a phone call- he had alhamdullilah been successful and got the job. Now, would Allah have given him this job had he shaken hands, dealt with usurped money? Perhaps he would, but most certainly he would punish him the afterlife for it, if he did not sincerely repent. Therefore it is clear that everything in life is a test- be it dealing with non Muslim family, or the most difficult of tests (Google Hurr at the Battle of Karbala, and how he changed from evil to good, from hell to martyr in one decision, despite turning the back on a huge army and assured riches for the rest of his Earthly life).

 

Therefore my dear sibling in humanity, it is by no means to fear reverting to Islam. Once you are there, Allah will never put you in a situation where you will not be able to be free of this test and succeed over it. There is no reason to fear reverting at all, and you do not have to tell your family for a while if you don't want to (although taqiyyah wont be needed, they aren't wahabis I should imagine).

 

If you would like, you are more than welcome to send me a PM or one to any other brother on this site, we are of course all siblings in humanity and united under worship of a single divine being.

 

Oh and by the way, your profile picture is rather splendid my dear brother, lovely Chefia that the chap has adorning his head!!

 

May he help you on your spiritual struggles to him,

 

Wasalam

 

Hussain :)

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(bismillah)

  (salam)

 

What if one is eating at a college resturaunt and that college resturaunt serves alcohol? I was wondering about this question as well as I have seen Muslims dine and eat at this place on campus. 

 

(wasalam)

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Hello,  I'm not member of any religion.  I have 3 Shia sisters, 1 Sunni sister and one Sunni brother.  I have a multitude of Muslim nieces and nephews.  They all take there religion very seriously and are very devout.  We are an African American family with deep American roots dating back to slavery and a Christian heritage before the 1970's when some family members started converting to Islam.  Initially some family members wanted to disown the non Christians, later some of the Muslims said they would disown their own children if they did not practice Islam. There was of course a lot of fighting as requests for various concessions were requested from the Muslims.    These of course included marital arrangements (Polygamy), marrying off daughters at what we considered were too young ages, marrying cousins (which never actually took place), dietary restrictions.  Many changes.  Over time we (non Muslims) have accepted everything.  We generally have an attitude of acceptance and respect others right to their beliefs.   There are family members who are vegetarian, vegan, Buddhist, Catholic, Protestant, no religion etc.  It is a large family.  Recently I had a visit from a family member who is Shia.  I prepared only food that she could eat as usual and respected all of her religious requirements.  We did have our first and only argument when it came to the alcohol.  I was having a girl party where wine was served and she left my home where she was a guest at the time.  I think the issue comes down to the why.  Non Muslims want to know why someone can't sit at the table or in some interpretations be under the same roof.  One of my nephews is  scholar who has studies extensively in Iran for many years.  She contacted him and he repeated the requirement but we had a bad SKYPE connection and I never heard the reasoning.  In every other behavior abstinence has been sufficient while in this case the Muslim must leave.  What is hard to understand is how this will adversary affect the Muslim to the point that they must leave and not just abstain.  I expect them to have the discipline to control themselves and not consume alcohol as they do quite well with any other behaviors.  Would someone please speak to the actual rule and the reasoning behind it.  I don't believe it is just a temptation issue otherwise Muslims would not be able to be near any activities that are not allowed.

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It is a protest.

They don't have to leave the building, just the table, and in some cases good manners are more important than strict adherence to some rules.

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Would you sit at a table at which people are injecting heroin?  Or at a table at which people are snorting cocaine?

Perhaps you think that alcohol is different to heroin and cocaine.  Well, that's true.  One difference is that alcohol is responsible for far more deaths, and has destroyed a greater number of lives than both these drugs combined.

Edited by .InshAllah.

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Would you sit at a table at which people are injecting heroin?  Or at a table at which people are snorting cocaine?

Perhaps you think that alcohol is different to heroin and cocaine.  Well, that's true.  One difference is that alcohol is responsible for far more deaths, and has destroyed a greater number of lives than both these drugs combined.

 

Mashallah, great answer. At work I refuse to go to any events where there is alcohol, the people accept this but now I will use this reason, inshallah.

Edited by Muhammed Ali

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