Poll: Dissapointed After Converting

[Spiritual Being]

Many converts convert to Islam with 100% positive feelings towards muslims which makes them fragile emotionally when faced by Dissapointment in dealing with Muslims....

Generalizing that all muslims are good is not a wise thing to do....

In general, muslims do not necessarily represent Islam...

Infact one of our scholars once said, it might be easy to become a muslim but hard to become a human being...

Many muslims still need to focus on the struggle against thier vices and negative deeds..

I heard of alot of converts being dissapointed with him muslims behave is some cirmustances

Any Encounters to share?

How did you deal with that encounter?

Do you have any advice to give to recent converts?

[Haji 2003]

Many converts convert to Islam with 100% positive feelings towards muslims which makes them fragile emotionally when faced by Dissapointment in dealing with Muslims....

That depends on what your expectations were, regarding that interaction/exchange and whether or not they were reasonable.

Secondly, faith is a matter of one's relationship with God. IMHO.

[~RuQaYaH~]

I am not a convert in the strict sense of the term, but one of the observations I've made is that unfortunately unfortunately unfortunately Muslims (atleast here in Sydney) tend to be far less considerate, well-mannered and open than non-Muslims. This is obviously a huge generalisation, but it seems generally to be the case and it is incredibly sad to see. The ironies of life :(.

wasalaam

[Haji 2003]

unfortunately Muslims (atleast here in Sydney) tend to be far less considerate, well-mannered and open than non-Muslims.

Generally, there are exceptions, I find that Muslims behave in a similar fashion to those non-Muslims who are of a similar socio-economic background to them.

So, for example, Muslims from the Gujerat region of India will have more similarities in terms of behaviour to Hindu Gujeratis than they will with Muslim Punjabis.

Finally people need to recognise that in some cultures (often those from which Muslims come) family and extended family links are a far more powerful pull regarding relationships than dealing with people on the basis of shared interests.

So if someone reverts and expects to find find a sentiment of, "we're all in this global jihad together, welcome to the club bruv", type of attitude. I don't think that they'll get it.

[Ali_Hussain]

So if someone reverts and expects to find find a sentiment of, "we're all in this global jihad together, welcome to the club bruv", type of attitude. I don't think that they'll get it.

I have heard people say that when they converted to sunniism they found a much more brotherly feeling than when they come to shi'a islam. I wonder if that is the general feeling with people, or just a couple of one offs

In fact I remember one sister called into ahlul bayt tv one time a while ago, she is a revert, as is her husband, and their children (i think they may have been born into islam), but even after a decade (or more) in the community, the family were still made to feel like outcasts, she sited things such as people laughing at them when they would say 'salaamu alaykum' and other things that I can't really remember, but it had gotten so bad that their children were on the verge of leaving islam because of the treatment the family recieved.

Even thinking back on it now nearly have tears swelling in my eyes.

Though I hope that level of abuse is a one off...insha Allah

Edited January 24, 2012 by Ali_Hussain

[~RuQaYaH~]

Generally, there are exceptions, I find that Muslims behave in a similar fashion to those non-Muslims who are of a similar socio-economic background to them.

So, for example, Muslims from the Gujerat region of India will have more similarities in terms of behaviour to Hindu Gujeratis than they will with Muslim Punjabis.

I've thought about that and that's certainly true but the thing is, I'm talking about Muslims who seem to be of a similar socio-economic status to their non-Muslim counterparts...they are not poorer or especially disadvantaged. To put it rather crudely, there seems to be less polite, considerate Muslims than polite and considerate non-Muslims of a similar socio-economic status (proportionately speaking). Ofcourse I'm making huge generalisations here but that's what I've observed. Maybe I am just especially critical of Muslims because I expect more of them....allahu alam.Wiith regards to openness/tolerance of different people and ideas in particular though I find this to definitely be the case .....from my observation only the highly educated Muslims (doctors, lawyers etc) generally seem to have this openness whereas it doesn't take being as highly educated for their non-Muslim counterparts to have that same level of openness. I think in this respect the problem would lie largely in the fact that Islam has been misrepresented within our own circles. It's a very sad state of affairs and very disheartening to see.

Finally people need to recognise that in some cultures (often those from which Muslims come) family and extended family links are a far more powerful pull regarding relationships than dealing with people on the basis of shared interests.

So if someone reverts and expects to find find a sentiment of, "we're all in this global jihad together, welcome to the club bruv", type of attitude. I don't think that they'll get it.

Our individual cultures might place more emphasis or importance on certain kinds of relationships but consideration, common courtesy and exercising good manners should be extended to all people regardless of our personal affiliation with them. I think that's a separate issue.

This is my experience and observation anyway, hopefully it doesn't reflect that of others!

wasalaam

[Dawud.]

I am a convert, have been Muslim for seven years now. I think it is safe to say I end up 'strongly disliking' 90% of the Muslims I meet.

One of my biggest issues with the Ummah is the double standard in how people are allowed to approach Islam, this is not saying that "Islam should be different from culture to culture", but we cannot deny the fact that the manner in which certain things are understood and the extent to which they can be applied will depend heavily upon culture. American Muslims, especially those who did not come to Islam through "dawah" and rather through a more "indigenous outlet" get very aggravated at the constant critique of certain things that many of them consider an aspect of the American Muslim identity while at the same time you have people trying to justify Nowruz as a "Sunnah" to the extent of convincing non-Iranians to celebrate it. I have always had a strong dislike for the constant outside influence upon the community in the sense of it "ruling" how the communities are run.

I have to sorta agree with Ali Hussain on his point. Imamis are more difficult to get along with then Sunnis to be honest, I blame that on the mindset of partisanship promoted by certain factions. By that I mean if you follow someone who often went against the statuesque or just disagree with what is presented as the "mainstream view' of the Shia then you get almost excommunicated by some and considered a 'bad person' by the rest. Its annoying and drives many people away.

Edited January 24, 2012 by Dawud.

[Gypsy]

(salam)

Regardless of your faith, you'll find this in other communities too. So, this is not a unique problem in Muslim community. In every religion, you'll see a great number of bad believers who does not live up to the moral teaching of the faith.

It is a shame to see Muslims behaving badly since we always claim that we have the best and the most correct religion in the world. Some would even go as far as to say that the main mission of the Holy Prophet (pbuh) was to fix the akhlak of the mankind.

[Haydar Husayn]

The problem is the majority of Muslims are cultural Muslims, even those who are quite practicing. You see it all the time on here, people who fight tooth and nail to defend as much of their culture as possible and react in a very emotional way to any criticism of it. Now, the cultures most Muslims come from may have several positives, but open-mindedness doesn't generally happen to be one of them. This means that when they interact with reverts/converts, their cultural prejudices are at best always lurking under the surface. It also doesn't help that most Muslims aren't exactly very skilled when it comes to hiding these prejudices, and in many cases see nothing wrong with them. The general condescending attitude many Muslims have towards converts is also incredibly annoying.