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CuriousShia

How To Find A Temporary Relationship?

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This is a topic that makes everyones eyes open up and makes every man smile, however, my concern is if its all hallal, and if this is what is allowed for us to do then why is it so hard to do? why are the men struggling to find woman to accept this process and why is it not looked upon in a positive way to help out each other? Our community has made it so hush hush and so difficult for the younger generation to understand to differences and the reasoning behind it. Instead of dating and having girl friends why not explain or have a process set up for both sexes to find each other easily. Either at locations or online to keep it discreet. I need to understand since this is a topic that everyone keeps light at heart but in every ones mind. Please respond appropriately and woman please feel free to share your thoughts as well. Thank you.

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This is a topic that makes everyones eyes open up and makes every man smile, however, my concern is if its all hallal, and if this is what is allowed for us to do then why is it so hard to do? why are the men struggling to find woman to accept this process and why is it not looked upon in a positive way to help out each other? Our community has made it so hush hush and so difficult for the younger generation to understand to differences and the reasoning behind it. Instead of dating and having girl friends why not explain or have a process set up for both sexes to find each other easily. Either at locations or online to keep it discreet. I need to understand since this is a topic that everyone keeps light at heart but in every ones mind. Please respond appropriately and woman please feel free to share your thoughts as well. Thank you.

Hello CuriousShia,

Well obviously I am not a man, because I am not smiling.

Temporary relationships? Why?

They are not the ideal. The ideal is what is written in Genesis 2.

As to sharing my thoughts about it, I am thankful that I am married to a wonderful man and I pray our relationship is not temporary, but rather lasts until I die. I hope if God wills, to have at least 50 years with the man I love and to raise children together and spend precious time with grandchildren too!

Temporary relationships = yuck!

Peace and God bless you

Edited by Christianlady

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Greetings.

I dont understand your Statement "temporary relationship = yuck"

All relationships on this earth are temporary. The only difference with Mutah is that the end of the relationship is defined by the couple (unless it is renewed) whereas in a traditional Christian marriage the end of the relationship is undefined by the couple but it does end as soon as One of the Partners dies, They divorce, or One of them just decides to leave.

In Islam as in Christianity marriage is at the core a contract between the man and women that is sanctified by God thru the scriptures. In Islam we have two types of marriage contracts whereas in Chritianity There is only One. The two types are the Type where the end of the contract is undefined (zawaj tul nikah ) and the Type where the end of the contract is defined by the couple (zawaj mutah). Both These types of contracts are sanctified and defined in the Holy Quran. The contract of mutah is a mercy for those couples who dont have the means or the Intention to stay with each other indefinitely but want to be in a divinely sanctioned relationship where They are living in obedience to God and their responsibilities are defined and rights are protected and any child born of the relationship is legitimate

Edited by Abu Hadi

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Greetings.

I dont understand your Statement "temporary relationship = yuck"

Hello Abu Hadl,

The statement means that I find temporary relationships to be distasteful.

All relationships on this earth are temporary.

True, and a very good point. However, the temporary relationships that Curious Shia implies does not seem to be a temporary relationship of husband and wife who are committed to each other till death, but rather a more temporary temporary relationship.

Quoting Curious Shia: "why are the men struggling to find woman to accept this process and why is it not looked upon in a positive way to help out each other? Our community has made it so hush hush and so difficult for the younger generation to understand to differences and the reasoning behind it. Instead of dating and having girl friends why not explain or have a process set up for both sexes to find each other easily. Either at locations or online to keep it discreet."

In the above, I find it to be extremely distasteful and more temporary than committed relationships where the commitment runs for life (like parents/offspring) I also view Western ideas such as dating and even worse - friends with benefits - to be extremely distasteful in nature. Too temporary relationships are harmful to society and to raising children, as well as to family integrity/values.

The only difference with Mutah is that the end of the relationship is defined by the couple (unless it is renewed) whereas in a traditional Christian marriage the end of the relationship is undefined by the couple but it does end as soon as One of the Partners dies, They divorce, or One of them just decides to leave.

Christians believe that God created marriage to be a life-long commitment. Yes sad to say, many marriages end in divorce, but it's not ideally supposed to be that way. Ideally, a married couple is supposed to bless and help each other and travel the journey of life together from the time they marry to death parts them.

In Islam as in Christianity marriage is at the core a contract between the man and women that is sanctified by God thru the scriptures. In Islam we have two types of marriage contracts whereas in Chritianity There is only One. The two types are the Type where the end of the contract is undefined (zawaj tul nikah ) and the Type where the end of the contract is defined by the couple (zawaj mutah). Both These types of contracts are sanctified and defined in the Holy Quran. The contract of mutah is a mercy for those couples who dont have the means or the Intention to stay with each other indefinitely but want to be in a divinely sanctioned relationship where They are living in obedience to God and their responsibilities are defined and rights are protected and any child born of the relationship is legitimate

Thank you for the above explanation. However, I believe that most women of any culture or belief dream of having a life-long commitment with a wonderful man who loves her and wants to be with her throughout their lives, to have children together, and to grow old together.

Peace and God bless you

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salaam may you all be filled with love blessings...curious shia you are in my shoes...exactly what i had on mind

alhamdulliah im trying to change and become a good muslim....desires sometimes takes me over i am not going to lie this is why i thank Allah for creating temporary marrigage yes theres alot of ifs and buts but youve got to be very alert especially if you are doign taqleed im looking to do mutha but its very hard but inshallah with the right intentions Allah s.w.t will help you ameen x

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salaam may you all be filled with love blessings...curious shia you are in my shoes...exactly what i had on mind

alhamdulliah im trying to change and become a good muslim....desires sometimes takes me over i am not going to lie this is why i thank Allah for creating temporary marrigage yes theres alot of ifs and buts but youve got to be very alert especially if you are doign taqleed im looking to do mutha but its very hard but inshallah with the right intentions Allah s.w.t will help you ameen x

Hello Timeout,

I am curious... why can't you get married and have a life commitment relationship, instead of a temporary temporary one?

Peace and God bless you

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Because not everyone is like you.

Hello,

I am sorry I have no idea how to write your screenname.

Many women are like me... it doesn't matter if they're Christian or Muslim or Hindu or Atheist... many women do dream of marrying one man who loves her very much, who she loves very much, and who she can share the journey of life with, as well as have children with and spend time with her grandchildren with... this is a pretty much universal dream of women around the world. Many men also have this dream, of marrying one woman who loves him very much, and who he loves very much, who he can share the journey of life with, as well as have children with and spend time with his grandchildren with. My parents, who have been happily married for 35 years, my grandparents who were happily married (My grandmother died of cancer) for 49 years, and others realize this dream. I am sure there are Shia people with this dream and who are realizing this dream to be realiity right now, yes? However yes you are right, not everyone is like that.

Peace and God bless you

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Hello,

I am sorry I have no idea how to write your screenname.

Many women are like me... it doesn't matter if they're Christian or Muslim or Hindu or Atheist... many women do dream of marrying one man who loves her very much, who she loves very much, and who she can share the journey of life with, as well as have children with and spend time with her grandchildren with... this is a pretty much universal dream of women around the world. Many men also have this dream, of marrying one woman who loves him very much, and who he loves very much, who he can share the journey of life with, as well as have children with and spend time with his grandchildren with. My parents, who have been happily married for 35 years, my grandparents who were happily married (My grandmother died of cancer) for 49 years, and others realize this dream. I am sure there are Shia people with this dream and who are realizing this dream to be realiity right now, yes? However yes you are right, not everyone is like that.

Peace and God bless you

Yes, I comprehend this universal dream very well. But you're not looking outside the box to see the great practicalities of temporary marriage. Instead of having an engagement, which is a non Islamic practice, you can replace it with temporary marriage because at least this way you can live together and touch each other lawfully for a set period of time. After the period of that contract is over, you can properly decide whether you want to move this relationship to the next level (permanent marriage) because you'll have enough experience in order to ascertain whether or not your partner is long-term material and, from the experience, extrapolate a conclusion whether or not it will really work out.

As for others, they are simply not ready for permanent marriage or don't want it for personal reasons, and so they opt for successive temporary marriages. Nothing wrong with it. It's a legitimate constitution and there is a mutual agreement by both parties.

Hopefully, you have now got the hang of it.

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salaam thanks for your reply...

to be honest i am young and not every ones parents are easy to talk 2 when it comes 2 these situations what u got to realise we are in such a society....its hard when we work we see shaitan when we go out shaitan facebook interent shaitan its hard 2 let some things go if u can do mutha and find a irl maybe u myt even get married 2 her etc its 2 much 2 discuss and argue about i would like 2 do mutha and before yes i would get 2 know the girl backround i respect alot of girls and if they have a valid reason im very happy 2 reply just like ures ....2 keep away from this bad stuff and commit adultery or zina then ure getting punished thats why i want 2 find a girl whos interested...yes alot of people say mutha for sex etc but even 2 be with a girl i would like do mutha because if i neva i would be commiting sin as she is my na-mahram understood x

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"Hello CuriousShia,

Well obviously I am not a man, because I am not smiling.

Temporary relationships? Why?

They are not the ideal. The ideal is what is written in Genesis 2.

As to sharing my thoughts about it, I am thankful that I am married to a wonderful man and I pray our relationship is not temporary, but rather lasts until I die. I hope if God wills, to have at least 50 years with the man I love and to raise children together and spend precious time with grandchildren too!

Temporary relationships = yuck!

Peace and God bless you"

I appreciate your response Christian Lady, I have no bad intentions here nor do I think that Its a must for all woman to except it since its available to men in our religion. I just wanted to get some insight on this topic. You can see that there are many men who have some great insight on this topic. This concept is made so that men and woman can carry an act together making it Halal instead of dating and have sexual intercourse without the permission or acceptance of the two parties. See many of times the couples carry this act and end of with some consequences like having a kid... Now if the couple is not married then what does that leave the child to be? In our religion we can not have [Edited Out]s running around not knowing who the parents are. I agree to your response and your concern towards marriage and finding your life partner, however, the difference is that not everyone is lucky like you (alhumdulillah) I myself am very confident in my looks and have no issues finding a lady but did not come across the right lady which will fulfill my desires, and be my queen for the rest of my life. Im still looking but in the mean time I still have the urge since everyman who is living in this society is very vulnerable due to media, and the woman in public. If you live in Toronto, and in the summer you drive downtown or even close to the beach you will understand that its a cruel world for us since our desires go rushing through the roof. What can a muslim guy do in those circumstances? I appreciate what you mean find the right lady and once I do I will settle to having all my desires fulfilled like how you are with your husband (mashallah).

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What if a wife is left at home while her husband travels abroad for a year? How can she manage to fulfill her desires and not indulge in sin? Is the only way temporary marriage for her, or does she have to wait it out while he frolics with his girlfriends?

Edited by OneNoteSong

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What if a wife is left at home while her husband travels abroad for a year? How can she manage to fulfill her desires and not indulge in sin? Is the only way temporary marriage for her, or does she have to wait it out while he frolics with his girlfriends?

You would have to divorce first and then you could have mutah. Then remarriage later? There are ways to do these things.

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