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In the Name of God بسم الله
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Syeda Naqvie

My Marriage Proposals

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Assalam-o-Alaikum,

Sisters, this might sound a lillte odd but I am unable to help it. Hope any one will surely help me.

I will be turning 24 in January, my problem is that whenever I get any Marriage Proposal, I straight away say NO (without even knowing about the guy and all); I really don’t know what the actual fear is. But, surely there is something that is in my mind.

One more thing to clear. I m NOT in love with anyone & want to settle my life now.

What I feel is that, I am in search for a perfect guy (not in looks) but he should be well educated, well behaved etc. Or there is also the possibility that I am REALLY afraid of life after marriage (by that I mean the Physical relation).

I got many proposals but none of them fulfilled my criteria, I know I might sound harsh, but isn’t it my right to chose the right partner?

I am a very shy girl and do not talk to boys that much even though I am doing a job but I usually avoid to interact with boys as much I can & many of them call me “RUDE” :S. I am confused how to find the right man.

I really don’t know what my actual problem is; hope to have fruitful suggestions from you guys.

Wassalam

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its normal sister. My older brother is in the similar situation, he cant find the perfect girl he is looking for: complaining oh her hijab isnt right, her islamic views are wrong, that girl doesnt look right. All i end up telling him is that only a Hoor from Jannah can fill the criteria he is looking for lol.

The only advice i will give is that you should say Yes to a decent proposal or else looking at your age it will only get worse.

Salam

sorry i didnt realize this was in sisters forum

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1) I straight away say NO (without even knowing about the guy and all)

2) I am in search for a perfect guy

3) I am REALLY afraid of life after marriage (by that I mean the Physical relation).

1) If your heart/mind dont work if any proposal come, then say YA ABA AS SALEH AL MEHDI ADRIKNI and recite Naad-e-Ali Kabeer and blow on yourself (InshaAllaah you will get the answer to accept that proposal or not).

2) No one in this world is perfect, so you wont find anyone.

3) Many girls are frightened about the after marriage relations, but none can deny this, as it is made by Allaah, so trust in Allaah The Almighty, nothing will harm you, build confidence.

Edited by Your-Best-Friend

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Recite the dua in this verse often:Surah Furqan verse 74 And they who say: O our Lord! grant us in our wives and our offspring the joy of our eyes, and make us guides to those who guard (against evil).

Thanks a lot for sharing

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Assalam-o-Alaikum,

Sisters, this might sound a lillte odd but I am unable to help it. Hope any one will surely help me.

I will be turning 24 in January, my problem is that whenever I get any Marriage Proposal, I straight away say NO (without even knowing about the guy and all); I really don’t know what the actual fear is. But, surely there is something that is in my mind.

One more thing to clear. I m NOT in love with anyone & want to settle my life now.

What I feel is that, I am in search for a perfect guy (not in looks) but he should be well educated, well behaved etc. Or there is also the possibility that I am REALLY afraid of life after marriage (by that I mean the Physical relation).

I got many proposals but none of them fulfilled my criteria, I know I might sound harsh, but isn’t it my right to chose the right partner?

I am a very shy girl and do not talk to boys that much even though I am doing a job but I usually avoid to interact with boys as much I can & many of them call me “RUDE” :S. I am confused how to find the right man.

I really don’t know what my actual problem is; hope to have fruitful suggestions from you guys.

Wassalam

the list of criteria will never get matched and filled exactly the way you want, even two brothers have different thoughts, feelings,likings...etc.

the first thing about a life partner is to consider his deen , akhlaq, and edu, the rest of the think will be adjusted later, probably you are comparing your future relationship with the relationships of others who don't have good family relationship and think every one is similar.

remove this fear, let your family or your self choose a person that you consider well for you then talk with him.

if his ideas match at least 60 to 80% then go for it otherwise it will be too late :) .

regards,

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Assalam-o-Alaikum,

Sisters, this might sound a lillte odd but I am unable to help it. Hope any one will surely help me.

I will be turning 24 in January, my problem is that whenever I get any Marriage Proposal, I straight away say NO (without even knowing about the guy and all); I really don’t know what the actual fear is. But, surely there is something that is in my mind.

One more thing to clear. I m NOT in love with anyone & want to settle my life now.

What I feel is that, I am in search for a perfect guy (not in looks) but he should be well educated, well behaved etc. Or there is also the possibility that I am REALLY afraid of life after marriage (by that I mean the Physical relation).

I got many proposals but none of them fulfilled my criteria, I know I might sound harsh, but isn’t it my right to chose the right partner?

I am a very shy girl and do not talk to boys that much even though I am doing a job but I usually avoid to interact with boys as much I can & many of them call me “RUDE” :S. I am confused how to find the right man.

I really don’t know what my actual problem is; hope to have fruitful suggestions from you guys.

Wassalam

I am in the same dilemma...Wallah o Alam,inallah alakulle shain kadeer.

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don't fear men sisters.. I know they r lame sometimes.. but there's the good and bad in everyone

next time when u get a proposal.. give the guy a chance.. make a list of pros and cons then sit with him and talk a lil

if he's not what u want then there's nothing forcing.. if maybe talk to him some more.. u never know.. good luck

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Assalam-o-Alaikum,

Sisters, this might sound a lillte odd but I am unable to help it. Hope any one will surely help me.

I will be turning 24 in January, my problem is that whenever I get any Marriage Proposal, I straight away say NO (without even knowing about the guy and all); I really don’t know what the actual fear is. But, surely there is something that is in my mind.

One more thing to clear. I m NOT in love with anyone & want to settle my life now.

What I feel is that, I am in search for a perfect guy (not in looks) but he should be well educated, well behaved etc. Or there is also the possibility that I am REALLY afraid of life after marriage (by that I mean the Physical relation).

I got many proposals but none of them fulfilled my criteria, I know I might sound harsh, but isn’t it my right to chose the right partner?

I am a very shy girl and do not talk to boys that much even though I am doing a job but I usually avoid to interact with boys as much I can & many of them call me “RUDE” :S. I am confused how to find the right man.

I really don’t know what my actual problem is; hope to have fruitful suggestions from you guys.

Wassalam

Stick to a basic criteria, like eiman, akhlaq, and education. Make sure the family is practicing Muslims not the namesake ppl.

As far the fear of physical relationship, you and your spouse read some books or attend a post marriage counseling to remove this fear and be cognizant of each others needs etc.

Edited by Waiting for HIM

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Opportunities are like clouds. If you are in the right age and state of mind, it is wise to acknowledge the ones who propose and find a good reason when you reject them. It is not right to let opportunities go by without trying at all.

Sister!, don't just reject based on your initial feelings!, you may regret in future ( inshaa'lla no regrets), get to know something about the person, give yourself chance to think, keep ur expectations REALISTIC, INVOLVE ur parents in decision making!, yea involve them, nothing like it is ur life just decide, yea the final decision is urs but u need support, u need to hear opinions, u need time to make ur mind, I wish u luck, may a'lla grant u a good mo'men husband soon, do duaa and Twasool bi ahlulbayt, and trust in A'lla, read Ziyarat Ashuraa and Duaa A'ulgoma, surat Yassen and al Safaat and bay Sadaqa daily .. refrain from sins and hearing music that contaminate ur soul .. wish u luck ..

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Sister!, don't just reject based on your initial feelings!, you may regret in future ( inshaa'lla no regrets), get to know something about the person, give yourself chance to think, keep ur expectations REALISTIC, INVOLVE ur parents in decision making!, yea involve them, nothing like it is ur life just decide, yea the final decision is urs but u need support, u need to hear opinions, u need time to make ur mind, I wish u luck, may a'lla grant u a good mo'men husband soon, do duaa and Twasool bi ahlulbayt, and trust in A'lla, read Ziyarat Ashuraa and Duaa A'ulgoma, surat Yassen and al Safaat and bay Sadaqa daily .. refrain from sins and hearing music that contaminate ur soul .. wish u luck ..

JazakAllah khair Sister :shifty: May Allah bless you all

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