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In the Name of God بسم الله

Shake Hands In Formal Situations

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  • 2 months later...
  • Advanced Member

(salam)

^lol, so tell me again, who's being an idiot?

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Don't ever be embarrassed to say You can't shake hands. Nothing to be embarrassed about.

But always remember to tell them in a way that they won't take it personally.

Ya Ali (as)

thats true,, we shouldnt be embarrassed for wat Allah wants us to do,, but sometimes it happens so fast u know wat i mean,,

As one of our imams (as) (I think imam sajjad (as)) once said; do not look at the size of the sin, look at who you are disobeying

Fact is shaking hands with a non mahram is haraam

Also there is a Hadith from the Prophet (pbuh) however I am not sure if it is from sunni sources or shia or both but it says something along the lines of; it would be better for 70(?) nails to be drilled through my head(?) rather than touching a non mahram (something like that, I probably got it a bit wrong though)

Also one of our imams (as) said (i think imam ali (as)); That sin which you percieve to be small is actually big (something like that)

This means that the sins which we believe are small (such as touching a non mahram for a few seconds) is most likely a big sin, we just perceive it to be small because we don't believe that there is any harm in doing it.

Allah (swt) has put his law into place for a reason, it's not about being 'holier than thou' infact being 'holier than thou' is a good thing, as long as u practice what you preach then what is wrong with trying to be as pious as possible, sure we arent the Aimmah (as) but doesn't mean we can't strive to be like them.

Sorry if this post came across as I was attacking any of you, I wasn't, I was just stating my views on the matter

u have mentioned very good hadiths,,

iv heard of this hadith before i think it was Imam Ali AS,, who was asked about sinning,, and the Imam AS replied with an example,, he said I can go outside naked with no clothes on but doesnt mean i will make a fool of myself,, it was something like that,,

meaning everyone is capable of sinning even the Imams AS,, but we have to think before we do anything in life

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  • 3 months later...
  • Advanced Member

http://www.sistani.org/index.php?p=616687&id=1207&perpage=2#15243

A Muslim man is not allowed to shake hands with a woman without a barrier, such as gloves, unless refraining from shaking hands will put him in a considerable harm or unbearable difficulty. In the latter case, he is allowed to shake hands to the extent of necessity only.2

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  • Advanced Member

Salam alaikum,

I actually once had a situation where not shaking hands made someone feel better.

In the course of doing my job, I was assisting a gentleman with finding out why he had not received his disability check. After we had resolved the issues, he thanked me and extended his hand. I began to explain that I could not shake his hand, and he said that lots of people were trying to avoid getting the flu, so he understood. I explained, that no, it was because of religious reasons and that I could not touch a man that was not related to me. At that, he smiled and stood up straighter. You see, he'd been ill for so long, he didn't think that anyone saw him as a man anymore.

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  • Advanced Member

Asalamu Alaikum,,

i know this might be a dumb question but :mellow:

is it haram to shake hands with a teacher who is a male,,,,, iv never shaken hands with anyone before,, i usually ignore it or say i cant,,,, but i graduated from high school like a couple of weeks ago,,, and my teacher wanted to say goodluck to me for the future and then wanted to shake my hand,,,,,

has this situation happened to anyone else before,,, in a western country not everyone cares and some people take it as a offence,, i normally dont care if its just someone normal,, but wat if ur going on a interview for something,, or ur somewere formal,, is it still haram to shake hands ?? :wacko:

W/Salam

remember brothers/sisters, if you wear a glove(s) its permissible according to many scholars (ie: Sayed Ali Sistani (ha))

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • Advanced Member

Since I came to Islam I have never shook a mans hand that wasn't my mahram. But then I went home to visit my family with my then 3 month old baby. My mother took me and my son to her work and was showing him off, her boss introduced himself and extended his hand, normally I tell men that I don't shake their hands, but because it was my mothers boss I didn't want to offend him. Obviously later, he must of realized that he kind of offended me and told my mother that he apologized, that he forgot Muslim women do not shake a man's hand. I think Allah looks more at the intentions of our hearts. May Allah (swt) forgive me if I did something against His will.

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  • Advanced Member

Since I came to Islam I have never shook a mans hand that wasn't my mahram. But then I went home to visit my family with my then 3 month old baby. My mother took me and my son to her work and was showing him off, her boss introduced himself and extended his hand, normally I tell men that I don't shake their hands, but because it was my mothers boss I didn't want to offend him. Obviously later, he must of realized that he kind of offended me and told my mother that he apologized, that he forgot Muslim women do not shake a man's hand. I think Allah looks more at the intentions of our hearts. May Allah (swt) forgive me if I did something against His will.

Asalamu Alaikum,,

yea it gets hard when ur put on the spot,, u have to think of what ur ganna do in less than a second,, but its true what u said that Allah SWT knows our intentions for everything,, Alhamdillah

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • Basic Members

Hello all,

I am totally new and it's my first reply in this website.

On the base of many many evidences, we do know that touching a non-mahram is HARAM.As others said, it is obvious.

My husband an I live in Canada. I've experienced many times like you, which we wanted to escape shaking hands with apposite genders. I think on the base of our experiences that when you offer an alternative for them beside hand shaking. Because they expect you to greet them and be kind and respecting enough.

As a practical experience, we often put our right hand on our chest and explain that in our Islamic culture we respect opposite genders like this! And of course we do it with a smile:)

I think when they say your politeness and your kind manner, not only they feel not offended, but also they will respect your way of greeting and I've seen that in the next sessions men/women do the same thing with we me/my husband for greeting.

Try it! I promise that it'll work well.

PS: I think it's better do behave in a unique way, because when a non-mulims sees you that your are shaking hands whit another person, even though in a very official situation, it's fair enough for him/her to expect you to shake hands in other situations. So, it's better to have a standard way of life, even in little matters.

*sorry for my weak English :donno:

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(salam)

I would try to avoid the handshaking thing in the first place, but if you're going to a meeting where you know that you MUST do it (if you don't, they'll be offended buhu..), just wear a pair of gloves (Sistani fatwa) for the meeting like this lady right here:

QUEEN-ELIZABETH-II.jpg

Or, you could just explain why you don't shake hands with na-mahrams.

Edited by ZahraNK
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  • Advanced Member

I always wear gloves, so when a situation arises I'm safe (phew).

Asalamu Alaikum,,

im not used to wearing gloves,, but when u wear the religious ring on ur right hand it would be annoying to wear gloves,, haha

but im with the idea with putting my hand on my chest when someone wants to shake hands now,, its more modest dont u think

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