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In the Name of God بسم الله

A Sister With Issues...

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  • Basic Members

Salaams,

This is my very first post on this forum. I have a problem, before i go further please do not judge me because ive never revealed any of this before.

I have been addicted to masturbation and pornography for a very long time now (2 years). I am unmarried and cannot to mutah since i need to ask my fathers permission and i cant exactly go to him and ask him. I've been looking for a husband for a while not but i cant seem to find the right guy. Im 24 years old now. I've tried to fast, stay in the company of others, exercise as it helps with the issue and ive tried to stick to Islam as best i can but i always go back. The most ive ever lasted is 2 months and i always go back to the act. Ive never had a boyfriend as ive tried to stay away from all of that but I really really want to stop this horrible act now, i cant take the shame and knowing that ive hurt Allah (swt) please help me find a solution for this problem as i dont know what else to do now.

wasalaam

Edited by Tina.
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  • Advanced Member

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Sister, you cannot hurt God but you are rather hurting yourself. For God only wants good for His creatures and He is all-knowing, aware of what is wrong and what is right and sees through the illusion know as world (Dunya).

I therefore recommend you to find a solution in three steps, for the Qur'an was not revealed at once for a reason and the intoxicants was not prohibited over a night but rather during a period of 23 years respectively three verses.

If a human truly fears his Lord, this should not be any problem for him. It has been narrated that Imam 'Ali (as) said, 'Whoever masturbate has killed me three thousands times.' God has only prohibited what is bad for mankind, therefore seek knowledge regarding this subject because their is a saying 'What you do not know, will not hurt you'.

You do not eat pork for you have learned and told that it is prohibited. Masturbation is nothing different from that both is prohibited and both hurt you in ways you know of and not and you find it hard, it was also hard for the Arabs to stop consuming intoxicant. Therefore your two months is better than two days, but your awareness of that what you are doing is a sin is much heavier than a mountain upon a mountain.

As you mentioned, you have tried fasting a very common advice. I rather advice you to lower your gaze [in public and secret], for in that room you are not alone. Nay, your devil is with you. Are you not ashamed of God and His Angels?

Sister, by lower your gaze in secret you should stop stimulate your self through watching pornography, why add a problem above another? No human in this world came out smoking but rather simulated through it.

So if you want to truly stop, you have to do it by yourself and with the aid of God:

[2:256] There shall be no compulsion in religion. [Surat al-Baqarah]

How many people have not vowed but broken it? And seek refuge in God through this supplication:

Ya Allah, Ya-Rahman, Ya-Raheem, Ya-Moqalib al-Qolob thabit Qalbi ela dinek

[Translation: O God, O Merciful, O All-Compassionate, O molder of hearts make me heart firm in your religion.]

This supplication is known as 'the drowning man' and I find it very useful. Therefore, use it in any inner and outer disputation and seek refuge through it. For who shall make our heart firm on this world so that our feet shall be firm on that Day of no return and no trade?

Do not fall into the ocean of sins even though the boat might make you seasick, for this boat is the Sirat al-Mustaqim and the ocean is the hellfire.

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  • Veteran Member

you need your fathers permission before doing mutah...

Your father can't reject a proposal for muta baseed on unislamic reason, and if he is just flat out opposed to the practice, so that he wil never let you do it, then I don't think you need his permission, especially when the alternative is sinning. Do you still live with your parents, or are financially dependent on them by the way? This could affect whether or not you can do muta without the permission of the father.

The best would be for you to get married permanently. Are you really making every possible effort in that direction?

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