Only Attracted To White Men?

metheweirdo · September 18, 2011

Salam Aleykum

I am a shia muslimah (obviously that is why I am here). I am 22 and I feel like I really need to get married.

anyways, I have had many proposals for marriage from other men, but I don't feel attracted to any of them at all. I am only attracted to white men (for some reason Allah knows why) and I can't picture myself with any other race.

on the other hand, I am of Iranian origin but grew up in Canada. I have a really hard time mixing with non Iranians, and it makes it so difficult for me to actually form a relationship with people other than iranians because I am so shy to contact non iranians for some reason.

anyways, what can I do? I want a true muslim, someone who actually prays and fasts and pays his islamic taxes etc etc... believes in the day of judgment rather than just talking about it. IT is very hard to find an Iranian man with these characteristics.

do you guys have any advice?

also, I don't mind Muslim converts.

Ali Huzaifa · September 18, 2011

yesterday i was watching movie on you tube "Al mukhtaar"

and in that movie hazrat mukhtaar brings a shia momeen who was his friend to meet his sister for marriage purpose,but that girls violantly denies that momeen proposal just because she was arab and the momeen was an irani,ultimately she marries a fasiik umr ibn aas instead of that momeen.conclusion is those who gives importance to race and colour of skin ends up marrying some munafiq,so better dont deny proposal on the base of skin and race.

w.salaam.

Aly ReZa · September 18, 2011

The proposal which u have got

Do you find any 1 fits in your imagination don't bother about the color and skin

I understand ur wish but try to adjust it.

Don't look at the face look at his nature.

And u know that the pairs are made by Allah s.w.t and surely he has choosen the best for us.

Inshallah u will get ur dream guy soon.

Wassalam

The proposal which u have got

Do you find any 1 fits in your imagination don't bother about the color and skin

I understand ur wish but try to adjust it.

Don't look at the face look at his nature.

And u know that the pairs are made by Allah s.w.t and surely he has choosen the best for us.

Inshallah u will get ur dream guy soon.

Wassalam

JimJam · September 18, 2011

OP has some serious issues. Does OP hate being Iranian?

Mustafa · September 18, 2011

Bismillah

Sexual attraction is always there independent of how a person looks like. My father alwas tells me that; "these black dudes are not better than you regarding the fact they walk with beautiful women". It is about flirting he tells me in order that you get that woman (in haram way or in a halal way). I reject out of shyness. You learn here that black dudes are able to get with white girls and opposite, definetly. It is about flirting, no, it is about sexual tension as it is called. You will not be able to get with a man unless you erase these satanic thoughts from you mind. It is better if you accept that you will marry a moderate man with beliefs, don't put up requirements for how looks. Otherwise i understand you will remain alone for the rest of your life. And I repeat that sexual attraction exists there always. I have accapted mut3a with any girl whatever color or size, my only rquirement is that she is humble.

Good luck sister

Edited September 18, 2011 by Mustafa

SlaveOfAllah14 · September 18, 2011

Bismillah
Sexual attraction is always there independent of how a person looks like. My father alwas tells me that; "these black dudes are not better than you regarding the fact they walk with beautiful women". It is about flirting he tells me in order that you get that woman (in haram way or in a halal way). I reject out of shyness. You learn here that black dudes are able to get with white girls and opposite, definetly. It is about flirting, no, it is about sexual tension as it is called. You will not be able to get with a man unless you erase these satanic thoughts from you mind. It is better if you accept that you will marry a moderate man with beliefs, don't put up requirements for how looks. Otherwise i understand you will remain alone for the rest of your life. And I repeat that sexual attraction exists there always. I have accapted mut3a with any girl whatever color or size, my only rquirement is that she is humble.
Good luck sister

what? you've done muta??/

**Rohani** · September 18, 2011

salam alaykom

well must be your personal preference of what your attracted to. find some converts, I as a convert if i could get the chance to marry a woman outside of my race i would go for it. although must confine myself to whom ever Allah sends to be my wife.

although you should always keep the door of possibility opened as you never know where your man will come from. skin color is all an illusion anyways.

yesterday i was watching movie on you tube "Al mukhtaar"
and in that movie hazrat mukhtaar brings a shia momeen who was his friend to meet his sister for marriage purpose,but that girls violantly denies that momeen proposal just because she was arab and the momeen was an irani,ultimately she marries a fasiik umr ibn aas instead of that momeen.conclusion is those who gives importance to race and colour of skin ends up marrying some munafiq,so better dont deny proposal on the base of skin and race.
w.salaam.

there is a big different between racism and just not being attracted to "marry" someone from some part of the world, should not mean you hate or feel your race is better than those people you just could not find attraction to them. and by the way kiyan got a nice Iranian woman :) i must say he got the better outcome :P

Edited September 18, 2011 by AlMuttaqi

Mustafa · September 18, 2011

New store opening. A story for you. ... It is NOT good, nothing more and nothing less, that you are selecting people based on theis skin color. I'll have to admit too that I have a little preferance onto white skin, too. But I know that it is something that would please me only temporary. The adults from my circle always praise the darker color, our people. And as time goes forward, i see that I agree too. ... I heard once that love and marriage is a bond as we know, that for some people starts as very HOT and the heat gets reduced in the after, and for other people the marriage starts as COLD but ends as hot. ... That story I gave now? It came just on time, i was reading it a couple of hours ago. Edited September 18, 2011 by Mustafa

**Abu Hadi** · September 18, 2011

Salams,

First you have to define what you mean by white. Do you mean light skin or European / Caucasian features or both? I have met some Iranians and Lebanese who have very light skin.

Your issue is a legitimate issue, Islamically, b/c in order to have a good and healthy marriage relationship you must be physically attracted to your spouse (I think the reasons are obvious). At the same time you have to take some things into consideration.

If you are looking for a caucasian, male, shia revert to Islam (Canadian or American) you have to understand that these are very rare (and I know b/c I am one of them, happily married :shifty: ). All the ones I know are married. Also, you said you feel uncomfortable around non Iranians, so I'm not sure that even if you found one the marriage would work because of this issue. I think your best option is to find a practicing Iranian who is light skinned w/ caucasian features (I have seen some like this in my community but all are married).

Also, to all those who are going to raise a hue and cry about racism, I don't think that is what she is saying. She is not saying that Iranians are bad, she is just saying that she is not attracted to certain types and features. I think just about everyone is similar on this, just different as to what features they are attracted / not attracted to. Also, she lives in Canada, home to the whitest of the white people. If she lived in the U.S, she would probably have different tastes since most 'white people' here are mixed with something else.

Edited September 18, 2011 by Abu Hadi

Gypsy · September 18, 2011

(salam)

My questions is the same as others. What do you mean by white? Do you mean the skin color or as in the Caucasian race? I am guessing the later because most of the Iranians I know are fair-skinned and many of them have do have the Caucasian look.

Anyway, like you said if you don’t reach out to them, then it is not going to be easy to find one. I would suggest attending a mosque that is attended by converts to Islam. I know for a fact that converts do attend mosques in Canada. Secondly you may want to let a trusted Shaykh know that you have no problem marrying a convert to Islam.

Thirdly, I do think there are Iranians boys/men that are very serious about religion. You may have not met them yet.

alimohamad40 · September 18, 2011

salaam

lol

whats white? does that mean Caucasians ?

Mustafa · September 18, 2011

From my perspective, a woman is always attractive. Why are some men not attractive for girls? ... The thing that pushes me away from a girl is her attitude. You shouldn't be shy from talking to a Sheikh/Bigger sister. This is not the time for being shy. I have learnt that there is no shame when it comes to religion, a hadith.

Edit: And this issue is the most relevant subject on the face of the earth!

Good luck

Edited September 18, 2011 by Mustafa

alimohamad40 · September 18, 2011

From my perspective, a woman is always attractive. Why are some men not attractive for girls? ... The thing that pushes me away from a girl is her attitude. You shouldn't be shy from talking to a Sheikh/Bigger sister. This is not the time for being shy. I have learnt that there is no shame when it comes to religion, a hadith.
Edit: And this issue is the most relevant subject on the face of the earth!
Good luck

if you get married most likely you will change your mind . its good to have the attitude that you have but dont be shocked if you change your mind after marriage

i mean always go for the girl that satisfies the religion criteria but also one that you have some form of attraction to her otherwise it will hurt your relationship

salaam

September 18, 2011

Nothing wrong in liking what one likes. In today's age with the media, migration we get to see and interact with many variations of people, so it is natural to want something outside one's "circle". The only problem lies with this is how to find that someone outside that circle and to over come cultural boundaries.

So if you want a "white dude" then figure out how you will find "him", see if others know of some reverts who are looking to get married etc. OR look at other cultures of people. At the end of the day we like what we like but liking can only take you as far as imagination. Achieving is the result that is needed. :)

Mustafa · September 18, 2011

if you get married most likely you will change your mind . its good to have the attitude that you have but dont be shocked if you change your mind after marriage
i mean always go for the girl that satisfies the religion criteria but also one that you have some form of attraction to her otherwise it will hurt your relationship
salaam

I will definetly change my mind. But right now I believe what I got to believe. It is what I got afteral. It won't help to pretend having something else than what I've got. As you said, brother, I will have to do something about it first (marriage). My problem is that I am shy. Is it not kind of cute to be shy? At least that is what I think sometimes. And I get arrogant as you know and that makes me believe that I am more worth becaues of my shyness, so I end up pushing people away from me. And I get alone ...

metheweirdo · September 18, 2011

salam aleykum every one

thank you for all your valueable replies

I am going to answer a couple of questions that have been asked here:

I like men with Caucasian features or someone who is caucasion.

I come from Vancouver, which means there are more Asians living here than white people. Also, there is not that much converts here. I barely know anyone. I have 2 convert friends who are shia, every one else I know are sunni and I can't marry a sunni.

we have ONE official shia mosque in our town and it's run by Tanzanian people and they will not let anyone else get to know their white converts so they keep them for their own community to get married to.

I am Iranian but a bit conservative, and it's hard to find conservative iranians iin this part of the world. I am a really honest person and I guess Iranians tend to take advantage of that. I have seen all my friends get married to Iranians here in vacnouver but get a divorce because the guy lied about a lot of stuff about himself. every religious friend of mine who got engaged is divorced and I am afraid to trust Iranian men . usually the ones I have dated here in vacnouver have been good people but are very unattractive. I can't imagine being myself with them. Imagine having kids etc..

I feel uncomfortable coming in contact with non Iranian men because I am just sooo shy, but I am not a shy person in general. because I havn't had any contact with guys outside of my culture I don't know how to approach them.

As for telling our sheikh, our town doesn't have any sheikhs. we had 2 and they both got deported.

Also our town has very few conservative religious Iranians and the ones I have known are not honest and sincere about their duties in Islam.

I want someone who is honest and is humble and what ever they do, they do it for the sake of Allah....

I have tried online dating websites, all I got was nothing. I also can't really mention it to my friends because I will be perceived as desperate and it is a shame in my community (or Muslim communities) for a woman to ask for a husband.

Also I am not being racist. I just have a a preference.

kiptanui · September 18, 2011

no offence, but you need to meet more people. there are many good looking middle eastern men around. dont restrict yourself to iranians and caucasians. go visit some other cities.

Awaiting_for_the12th · September 19, 2011

salam aleykum every one
thank you for all your valueable replies
I am going to answer a couple of questions that have been asked here:
I like men with Caucasian features or someone who is caucasion.
I come from Vancouver, which means there are more Asians living here than white people. Also, there is not that much converts here. I barely know anyone. I have 2 convert friends who are shia, every one else I know are sunni and I can't marry a sunni.
we have ONE official shia mosque in our town and it's run by Tanzanian people and they will not let anyone else get to know their white converts so they keep them for their own community to get married to.
I am Iranian but a bit conservative, and it's hard to find conservative iranians iin this part of the world. I am a really honest person and I guess Iranians tend to take advantage of that. I have seen all my friends get married to Iranians here in vacnouver but get a divorce because the guy lied about a lot of stuff about himself. every religious friend of mine who got engaged is divorced and I am afraid to trust Iranian men . usually the ones I have dated here in vacnouver have been good people but are very unattractive. I can't imagine being myself with them. Imagine having kids etc..
I feel uncomfortable coming in contact with non Iranian men because I am just sooo shy, but I am not a shy person in general. because I havn't had any contact with guys outside of my culture I don't know how to approach them.
As for telling our sheikh, our town doesn't have any sheikhs. we had 2 and they both got deported.
Also our town has very few conservative religious Iranians and the ones I have known are not honest and sincere about their duties in Islam.
I want someone who is honest and is humble and what ever they do, they do it for the sake of Allah....
I have tried online dating websites, all I got was nothing. I also can't really mention it to my friends because I will be perceived as desperate and it is a shame in my community (or Muslim communities) for a woman to ask for a husband.
Also I am not being racist. I just have a a preference.

...

metheweirdo · September 19, 2011

@ Awaiting_for_the12th

I don't understand why you have parts of my post bolded?

dan_rafi · September 19, 2011

There is nothing wrong in being attracted to white men, go for it!!!!

Fatima Hussain · September 19, 2011

Why are you attracted to white guys...? Just for looks or because of culture maybe...? Honestly, I am not really attracted to Middle Eastern or South Asian guys, not for looks reasons, I find them more attractive looks wise, but because many of them have too much cultural baggage that I will never be able to deal with.

alimohamad40 · September 19, 2011

salaam

Why are you attracted to white guys...? Just for looks or because of culture maybe...? Honestly, I am not really attracted to Middle Eastern or South Asian guys, not for looks reasons, I find them more attractive looks wise, but because many of them have too much cultural baggage that I will never be able to deal with.

yes lol its very funny how different people put forward different priorities

but your priorities are more realistic and not superficial like the original poster lol

wonderer · September 19, 2011

awww.. well find a guy u like, convert him, marry him ;) I am sure God has a man that's good for u somewhere in the world! just keep ur eyes open

ImAli · September 19, 2011

Maybe try those marriage websites for Shia.

**King** · September 19, 2011

I cant help the fact that most women are just utterly stupid when it comes to these things. Just shut it and get married to a good man who can take care of you, if you guys ever do mature, you shall thank me later. If you do not want to be mature about this, then I seriously hope you do not raise hell if your husband one day is repulsed by your nose or the few wrinkles you have developed.

Maula Dha Mallang · September 19, 2011

sister OP its not a great idea to only pick a guy based soley on his rac/ appearance. things like islamic beliefs, ambition, personality, job, family views etc need to be taken into consideration, much more than if he looks like justin bieber or not.

maybe you are attracted to white brothers because the choice where you live is either iranian or white? there are tonnes of shia matrimonial websites where you can search for a shia no matter his race, try it out and good luck.

JimJam · September 19, 2011

salam aleykum every one
thank you for all your valueable replies
I am going to answer a couple of questions that have been asked here:
I like men with Caucasian features or someone who is caucasion.
I come from Vancouver, which means there are more Asians living here than white people. Also, there is not that much converts here. I barely know anyone. I have 2 convert friends who are shia, every one else I know are sunni and I can't marry a sunni.
we have ONE official shia mosque in our town and it's run by Tanzanian people and they will not let anyone else get to know their white converts so they keep them for their own community to get married to.
I am Iranian but a bit conservative, and it's hard to find conservative iranians iin this part of the world. I am a really honest person and I guess Iranians tend to take advantage of that. I have seen all my friends get married to Iranians here in vacnouver but get a divorce because the guy lied about a lot of stuff about himself. every religious friend of mine who got engaged is divorced and I am afraid to trust Iranian men . usually the ones I have dated here in vacnouver have been good people but are very unattractive. I can't imagine being myself with them. Imagine having kids etc..
I feel uncomfortable coming in contact with non Iranian men because I am just sooo shy, but I am not a shy person in general. because I havn't had any contact with guys outside of my culture I don't know how to approach them.
As for telling our sheikh, our town doesn't have any sheikhs. we had 2 and they both got deported.
Also our town has very few conservative religious Iranians and the ones I have known are not honest and sincere about their duties in Islam.
I want someone who is honest and is humble and what ever they do, they do it for the sake of Allah....
I have tried online dating websites, all I got was nothing. I also can't really mention it to my friends because I will be perceived as desperate and it is a shame in my community (or Muslim communities) for a woman to ask for a husband.
Also I am not being racist. I just have a a preference.

Whats wrong with the Tanzanians? You seem to be totally ignoring the prospect of Tanzanians.

You dont seem be considering them at all. You instead seem more concerned that they're hoarding white guys

Why are you attracted to white guys...? Just for looks or because of culture maybe...? Honestly, I am not really attracted to Middle Eastern or South Asian guys, not for looks reasons, I find them more attractive looks wise, but because many of them have too much cultural baggage that I will never be able to deal with.

Bah weak women

metheweirdo · September 19, 2011

wow it's sad how many people are just judging me because I think white men more attractive. If you have read my post you will see that how religious the man should be and how conservative they mist really matters to me and as I mentioned I want someone who is humble about their Islamic actions. I have met many Iranians and I don't find them attractive, because of their looks and also because of their cultural baggage.

It's really annoying when guys here are saying that I need to get more mature and marry who ever that comes my way (obviously with religious characteristics) but when they ask their parents to look for a wife for them they have their own looks criteria. I think it's a natural thing to desire a particular look. so don't be selfish and stop point fingers when you yourself have similar desires.

Whats wrong with the Tanzanians? You seem to be totally ignoring the prospect of Tanzanians.
You dont seem be considering them at all. You instead seem more concerned that they're hoarding white guys
Bah weak women

I am not interested in Tanzanians because they don't seem to be interested in marrying any Iranians. and also, I find White men specially converts a lot more open to different cultures than the Tanzanians are. I have been literally living with the Tanzanian community for a couple of years, not a single person was interested. they all looked at me as an outsider. WHICH IS SAD FOR A MUSLIM COMMUNITY!

xstatik2 · September 19, 2011

Your'e allowed to marry someone who is considered as one from the "People of the Book" / Ahlul Kitab, so what deterrs you. Infact you have the advantage of educating him about the ethos of Islam and you never know we might just have one more brother amongst us insha'llah !!

**Rohani** · September 19, 2011

wow it's sad how many people are just judging me because I think white men more attractive.

Yes it is very sad, they must not have considered some examples of their own preferences in life. do not let it bug you ukhti.

Edited September 19, 2011 by AlMuttaqi

ImAli · September 19, 2011

wow it's sad how many people are just judging me because I think white men more attractive. If you have read my post you will see that how religious the man should be and how conservative they mist really matters to me and as I mentioned I want someone who is humble about their Islamic actions. I have met many Iranians and I don't find them attractive, because of their looks and also because of their cultural baggage.
It's really annoying when guys here are saying that I need to get more mature and marry who ever that comes my way (obviously with religious characteristics) but when they ask their parents to look for a wife for them they have their own looks criteria. I think it's a natural thing to desire a particular look. so don't be selfish and stop point fingers when you yourself have similar desires.
I am not interested in Tanzanians because they don't seem to be interested in marrying any Iranians. and also, I find White men specially converts a lot more open to different cultures than the Tanzanians are. I have been literally living with the Tanzanian community for a couple of years, not a single person was interested. they all looked at me as an outsider. WHICH IS SAD FOR A MUSLIM COMMUNITY!

Most likely they took it as a personal attack hahaha :!!!: .

satyaban · September 19, 2011

Salam Aleykum
I am a shia muslimah (obviously that is why I am here). I am 22 and I feel like I really need to get married.
anyways, I have had many proposals for marriage from other men, but I don't feel attracted to any of them at all. I am only attracted to white men (for some reason Allah knows why) and I can't picture myself with any other race.
on the other hand, I am of Iranian origin but grew up in Canada. I have a really hard time mixing with non Iranians, and it makes it so difficult for me to actually form a relationship with people other than iranians because I am so shy to contact non iranians for some reason.
anyways, what can I do? I want a true muslim, someone who actually prays and fasts and pays his islamic taxes etc etc... believes in the day of judgment rather than just talking about it. IT is very hard to find an Iranian man with these characteristics.
do you guys have any advice?
also, I don't mind Muslim converts.

Who do you exactly by the term "white men"? If you simply make yourself visible and be around "white people" nature will take care of the rest. Call a bowling alley and ask how to join a mixed league and they will get it done. Don't you meet a variety in school or do you mean white Muslims, if that is so forget my reply.

Salam Aleykum
I am a shia muslimah (obviously that is why I am here). I am 22 and I feel like I really need to get married.
anyways, I have had many proposals for marriage from other men, but I don't feel attracted to any of them at all. I am only attracted to white men (for some reason Allah knows why) and I can't picture myself with any other race.
on the other hand, I am of Iranian origin but grew up in Canada. I have a really hard time mixing with non Iranians, and it makes it so difficult for me to actually form a relationship with people other than iranians because I am so shy to contact non iranians for some reason.
anyways, what can I do? I want a true muslim, someone who actually prays and fasts and pays his islamic taxes etc etc... believes in the day of judgment rather than just talking about it. IT is very hard to find an Iranian man with these characteristics.
do you guys have any advice?
also, I don't mind Muslim converts.

Who do you exactly by the term "white men"? If you simply make yourself visible and be around "white people" nature will take care of the rest. Call a bowling alley and ask how to join a mixed league and they will get it done. Don't you meet a variety in school or do you mean white Muslims, if that is so forget my reply.

From my perspective, a woman is always attractive. Why are some men not attractive for girls? ... The thing that pushes me away from a girl is her attitude. You shouldn't be shy from talking to a Sheikh/Bigger sister. This is not the time for being shy. I have learnt that there is no shame when it comes to religion, a hadith.
Edit: And this issue is the most relevant subject on the face of the earth!
Good luck

"I bow down and pray to every woman I see" Chuck Prophit

Awaiting_for_the12th · September 19, 2011

wow it's sad how many people are just judging me because I think white men more attractive. If you have read my post you will see that how religious the man should be and how conservative they mist really matters to me and as I mentioned I want someone who is humble about their Islamic actions. I have met many Iranians and I don't find them attractive, because of their looks and also because of their cultural baggage.
It's really annoying when guys here are saying that I need to get more mature and marry who ever that comes my way (obviously with religious characteristics) but when they ask their parents to look for a wife for them they have their own looks criteria. I think it's a natural thing to desire a particular look. so don't be selfish and stop point fingers when you yourself have similar desires.

proof? dont assume something when you have no background knowledge. Do not justify your desires by bringing us to your level. What you prefer is nothing against islam, but stop with the oh i am doing it and you people want it to.

Edited September 19, 2011 by Awaiting_for_the12th

**Rohani** · September 19, 2011

^ i guess you know if every other member who has commented here has some kind of preference or not ? well I assume there must be some kind of preference even if they do not have it about race, lets see if these folks who speak so roughly to this sister have any preferences on weight or height ? maybe they are just confused about what is halal and not wajib..

Edited September 19, 2011 by AlMuttaqi

JimJam · September 19, 2011

ble about their Islamic actions. I have met many Iranians and I don't find them attractive, because of their looks and also because of their cultural baggage.
It's really annoying when guys here are saying that I need to get more mature and marry who ever that comes my way (obviously with religious characteristics) but when they ask their parents to look for a wife for them they have their own looks criteria. I think it's a natural thing to desire a particular look. so don't be selfish and stop point fingers when you yourself have similar desires.

Most guys dont add "must be a Caucasian woman" to the list.

I am not interested in Tanzanians because they don't seem to be interested in marrying any Iranians. and also, I find White men specially converts a lot more open to different cultures than the Tanzanians are. I have been literally living with the Tanzanian community for a couple of years, not a single person was interested. they all looked at me as an outsider. WHICH IS SAD FOR A MUSLIM COMMUNITY!

Im just saying you should keep all options open.

"I bow down and pray to every woman I see" Chuck Prophit

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