Looking For More C0-wives With Quesions

[heba1010]

I have recentaly been made aware of my husbands having another woman in his life. They have not yet married but I am allready sharing my time with this woman. I am not upset by that since once he marries her it will be what I will have to do. My issue is how do I conduct myself so I dont drive my husband away from me and perfer her over me. She has kids and my husband loves kids. we have no kids together but a 21, 17, 15 year old from pior marriges . I just need help on how to deal with things day to day things like how to deal with my time appart from him and refreshing and together when we do have time together. I dont want to burdan him with all my thougths and worries about our futue together I just want to have a great marrie and please Allaah in all that I do.

[alimohamad40]

salaam

the most important thing is to avoid comparing

salaam

remember the first problem in the world is when Satan compared.

this is because comparison creates jealousy and envy and hate

"love for your brother what you love for yourself" the famous say of Jesus and prophet Mohammad.

just try to do your normal duties towards your husband and avoid the jealousy so you don't end up fighting and driving him away,

but you have to give your advice regarding religious matters (amr Bilmaroof),,, That he must use marriage and he can not have a relation with a woman without a marriage contract

And that announcing marriage is mustahab (recommended) in Islam so to avoid the secrecy

Regarding the kids its a mercy to have a co-wife who has kids so she can fill up that emptiness

my wife and me have always wished this. its very advantageous if the relation between the co wives is good

[Rohani]

I have recentaly been made aware of my husbands having another woman in his life. They have not yet married but I am allready sharing my time with this woman. I am not upset by that since once he marries her it will be what I will have to do. My issue is how do I conduct myself so I dont drive my husband away from me and perfer her over me. She has kids and my husband loves kids. we have no kids together but a 21, 17, 15 year old from pior marriges . I just need help on how to deal with things day to day things like how to deal with my time appart from him and refreshing and together when we do have time together. I dont want to burdan him with all my thougths and worries about our futue together I just want to have a great marrie and please Allaah in all that I do.

May Allah bless you sister :) don't worry just give your husband love and care, and do not get jealous :)

[Gypsy]

Based on my experience, communication between the spouses is very important. When the spouse don’t talk then they is usually some problem.

To effectively get your point across, you need to be honest to him about your feeling, be very polite and not emotional. Also remember to be tactful.

[ImAli]

Write him a letter about your concerns (only concerns...avoid accusations), tell him how much you love him and this is the reason for your concern. Proofread the letter 2 or 3 times because it is very important to avoid using accusing tones.

[Deen]

Salam,

May Allah bless you and increase your love in your husbands eyes 1000 times more!

I think communication is the key with both your own husband and his 2nd wife to be. Communicate with your husband exactly how you feel and try to help him as much as possible to be a 'just' husband. Like wise communication with the 2nd wife is also important to make sure you guys have a healthy relationship together.

Wasalam

[Praetorius]

(salam)

I have yet to be married but I can share some info on how to avoid problems of having a co-wife as I have two distant relatives in polygamous marriages themselves. But whether or not this advice is applicable to you depends on how close your house is to that of the other wife.

As has already been mentioned, make sure you have regular contact and friendly exchanges with the other wife. In times of need when perhaps your husband is not available or maybe not the right person to go to, your co-wife could be of immense assistance to you, and the same goes for the co-wife.

This has probably been said a zillion times now, but it must be stressed upon. Please avoid any feelings of jealousy, as it can destroy marriages within moments. Do your duties as a faithful wife and pray to Allah that he rightfully returns his obligations toward you as well. Inshallah may you have a blessed life with this man.

[heba1010]

May Allah bless you sister :) don't worry just give your husband love and care, and do not get jealous :)

Thank you and May Allah bless you also. I love my husband very much and I know he is a good man . Im thankful for this forum so Im able to vent and gain information without causing shame or disgrace to my husband.

(salam)

I have yet to be married but I can share some info on how to avoid problems of having a co-wife as I have two distant relatives in polygamous marriages themselves. But whether or not this advice is applicable to you depends on how close your house is to that of the other wife.

As has already been mentioned, make sure you have regular contact and friendly exchanges with the other wife. In times of need when perhaps your husband is not available or maybe not the right person to go to, your co-wife could be of immense assistance to you, and the same goes for the co-wife.

This has probably been said a zillion times now, but it must be stressed upon. Please avoid any feelings of jealousy, as it can destroy marriages within moments. Do your duties as a faithful wife and pray to Allah that he rightfully returns his obligations toward you as well. Inshallah may you have a blessed life with this man.

Thank you ! I think my problem with it all is she is new in the deen and I feel she has only came in because of my husband. She depends on him so much and she is missing that Allah is the only one to be worshiped . She hangs on his every word. She very dependant. I am a very outgoing and when he is spending his time with her I keep myself busy one I work a full time job and I taking classes to grown in my deen. She calls him and tell him how lonley she is when he not with her and how she has no friends . But yet she has her sister taking care of her kids so she can be in the same town as our husband ugh I am not understanding this at all. I am very good with the co-wife I think its the woman that my husband picked is so needed it stress him out and when were together I have to take a day to de-stress him before we can have fun and enjoy each other.

Salam,

May Allah bless you and increase your love in your husbands eyes 1000 times more!

I think communication is the key with both your own husband and his 2nd wife to be. Communicate with your husband exactly how you feel and try to help him as much as possible to be a 'just' husband. Like wise communication with the 2nd wife is also important to make sure you guys have a healthy relationship together.

Wasalam

Thank you for the knowledge that Allah allowed you to share with me. I have reached out to her over and over. Ive even giving her more days with him to allow her time to get it together ! she is sooooo needey she acts as if she cant do anything on her own. I feel like saying what were you doing before you meet him.