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In the Name of God بسم الله

Problem With Parents

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  • Basic Members

Assalam alikum,

im somalian shia woman married with a morrocan man. I went for 3 months to live with him and his mother and uncle with our 6 years old daughter. His family are really nice, i love his mother and uncle. The only problem is how to deal with his mother about disciplining our child? For exemple, our daughter hit or bite others kids and I so my husband will punish her and put her in a time out. His mother was angry at him and run to my daughter to tell her not to cry and told her son never punish her. My daughter never ate foods, all she ate was candies and chips and my mother in law give her everything she wanted. When she fell sick because she had an sugar overdoses, we try to cut the candy down but her mother ran to the store to give her candies. Now we are back in Canada, and we dont want to bring our children to morroco to visit the family yet till they are old enough. Im really sad about it but it still hard to undoe the damage of what happen. Now my daughter have problem with other children and she is underweight. So how can we handle this issue because i would really like to go back for summer vacations so she can learn from her father's culture?

Fatima

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  • Advanced Member

Salam,

This is a very common issue with all grandparents regardless of race. It is very important to be clear, firm and respectful with the grandparents. Explain to them the reasoning behind your decisions with your child, if they do not agree, directly ask them not to intervene. From my personal experience the only reason it continues is because parents are too shy to say anything fearing they offend the grandparents, or out of respect for them.

However this comes down to how you discipline your child and teach them about the world, its very important that you stick your ground. One thing you could teach your child is to never take anything from anyone without YOUR permission. My nephews are like this, they always ask their mother first. If they can't have it, she explains to whomever is trying to give them why they don't have it...they are also content in not getting the candy (for example she allows one piece a day, they know this so they dont get upset if they cant have more...she also tells them too much candy ruin your teeth and hurt your tummy which is why they don't overindulge)

Good luck

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