Anger Management

[MissShiaMuslim]

(bismillah)

(salam)

do any other sisters suffer from severe anger issues?

I seem to get really angry over nothing. I feel myself get tense and i shake.

i was driving the other day and I ended getting really bad road rage and getting out of the car to scream at the other driver. Once I got back into the car, i was seeing black spots and i couldnt grip the steering wheel because i was shaking so much!

I have tried talking to counsellors, but they make me more angry with their "soothing" voices. Noone I talk to even makes me calm one bit, they just infuriate me more!

As you can see I am angry at the moment, and I dont know why.

I try making dua, but im still angry. I pray, and whilst in prayer im still thinking of how angry I am and how I just want to lash out.

I dont know how to handle my anger problem. It seems to be getting worse as time goes by. It isnt nice to see anyone get angry the way I do, especially a female.

Im tired of getting so stressed. After my episode, i get really tired and weak and then just sleep. Once I wake up, im fine, then something else annoys me and i flip out again! this is just emotionally and physically draining. I cry sometimes because of how angry I am.

has anyone had any anger issues? or have had them but knows of ways to channel their energy into other things?

sorry this is just a ramble. im just so angry at the moment and im at wits end trying to find a solution to calm me down!

my parents just ignore me when im in a rage, they know nothing works anymore!! :(

I have physically harmed myself whilst being angry, eg. punching/headbutting the wall (silly i know). Ive broke my TV, a laptop, my mobile, even smashed someones car window.

I dont like who I am. I know im a nice gentle person, but i also have this really bad side and a VERY short fuse.

HELP ME!!

Edited August 30, 2011 by MissShiaMuslim

[slave.ofAllah]

This happens to me sometimes, and well I must say letting out the anger does feel good.

BUT what I recommend is joining a gym, lifting some heavy weights or doing BOXING.

[MissShiaMuslim]

This happens to me sometimes, and well I must say letting out the anger does feel good.

BUT what I recommend is joining a gym, lifting some heavy weights or doing BOXING.

Ive tried taking up boxing, thinking it would fit my anger perfecting. But it didnt, it seemed to make me more angry and more tired! Which is weird! It kinda made me rely on boxing to calm me down also - which wasnt good, since it started to cost me a few bob.

Edited August 30, 2011 by MissShiaMuslim

[Abu'l Khattab]

Just take deep breaths when you get angry, get some oxygen flowing through your body. :)

[MissShiaMuslim]

Just take deep breaths when you get angry, get some oxygen flowing through your body. :)

I wish it was that simply. I dont have the patience to sit there and take deep breaths.

[-SeeKeR-]

(wasalam)

I think you need to identify your source of anger. Sometimes some things frustrate us which increase anger in us. Once you identify that only then would you be able to find a solution. It could be a biological/health reason or some other thing in your life, just find that out.

[La fata illa Ali]

how bout when u get angry:

if ur standing sit down, if ur sitting lie down, and if ur lying down stand up.

dont know how u would lye down in a car but im sure u can recline ur seat a little bit :)

How bout remeber death and the day of Judgement? Do you want to observe Allah (aj) divine anger? I dont think so, suppress urs and Allah (aj) will supress his

[Shia_Debater]

I send lanat on a certain some1 .. and then my anger goes away ^_^

[yassameen]

There are many causes for your anger sis , going through them would need privacy and patience

why not visiting a doctor instead of councilor if you have not done that yet?

sometimes physical stress ,sometimes psychological stresses are the cause

if you are not up to a doctor visit, try to find if teh cause is psychological, ie there is a special situation when you get angry or certain status like being near menstruation

or being hypoglycemic << not hungry but having headaches

next thing you have to do is to allow teh councilors or doctors or whomever close and wise to you , allow them to help , if you get angry at them , return and apologize, let them figure it with you as well

[MissShiaMuslim]

Thanks everyone for replying.

I went to a doctor, he said I might have depression, so getting angry could just be me acting out to numb myself but acting like im hurt etc.This may be possible, but i am also very stressed in my life. I am partly to blame, as I let things in my life happen, that are within my control, but i am not strong enough to stop it or to put things straight. So i am angry at myself too.

I dont like being such an angry person.

I think I will go to a doctor and ask them why I feel the way I do, and what happens to me when I do get angry.

People around me have learnt the way I am, and I have pushed people away due to it. Maybe due to all the hurt I have had in my life, I dont let people get close to me anymore.

Im not sure what it is, maybe its a mix of all of it.

Thanks for all your replies and taking out your time to read and reply to me.

InshaAllah I do resolve this, sooner rather than later.

Edited August 30, 2011 by MissShiaMuslim

[yassameen]

:) also , one should not underestimate the power of faith, the stronger the faith , the faster the healing from depression and other maladies

وفي الحديث عن الصادق عليه السلام : (قال اللَّه عزّوجلّ : عبدي المؤمن لا اصرفه في شي‏ء الا جعلته خيرا له، فليرض بقضائي، وليصبر على بلائي، وليشكر نعمائي، اكتبه يا محمّد من الصديقين عندي).

وايضا عن الصادق عليه السلام بسند صحيح : (انّ فيما اوحى اللَّه - عزّوجلّ - الى موسى بن عمران عليه السلام : يا موسى بن عمران. ما خلقت خلقا احبّ اليّ من عبدي المؤمن، فانّي انّما ابتليه لما هو خير له، واعافيه لما هو خير له، وازوي عنه ما هو شرّ له لما هو خير له. وانا اعلم بما يصلح عليه عبدي، فليصبر على بلائي، وليشكر نعمائي، وليرض بقضائي، اكتبه في الصدّيقين عندي اذا عمل برضائي واطاع امري).

وايضا عن ابن ابي يعفور بسند صحيح، عن الصادق عليه السلام قال : (عجبت للمرء المسلم لا يقضي اللَّه - عزّوجلّ - له قضاءً الا كان خيرا له، وان قُرِّض بالمقاريض كان خيرا له، وان ملك مشارق الارض ومغاربها كان خيرا له).

[Shia_Debater]

Sis, read this if you havent

http://www.shiachat.com/forum/index.php?/topic/234993558-how-to-cure-depression-i-found-a-solution/

inshaAllah it helps you if it is depression.

[struggling_On]

Ohhh........ I thought I was the only one............. And believe me I have gone through worse ......... just quoting only one instance I broke My hand in anger and that caused me a lot even though it's been a while but it's not the same now I can't play tennis, boxing or martial arts these were the things I always cared about anyways....................... I'm still going through that phase anger management but I'm still trying to find a solution for myself................. and I'm of the belief no body can help you gotta sort it out yourself............ But in my case I don't have any1 to help me but this is I who is responsible for all this, The reason is I don't let anyone come close to me, I just gave away most beautiful moments and things of my life because of this anger thing. Anger and rage really can eat you up inside, I know when you are in this mental position nothing really works............... But just Submit to ultimate authority from bottom of your heart........... ...... He'll show you the way

At the end, all I would say You have a lot of piled up energy inside you that is making you angry all the time, so find a way to channel it. I would say how about praying all night every now and then in a weak may be, keeping fast to please AllahÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì, try to remember His Anger ............ give it a try..........

[wonderer]

I think you are stressed and there r loads of reasons why you might be..

1st accept that you are stressed and try to resolve the stress itself.. relax yourself with yoga and other sports, bubble baths, massages would help 2..

2nd avoid stressing or angering situations, and have that stress ball with u at all times when u get an episode to try and calm down with it.. also work on breathing.. like when u feel like u r reaching that anger point.. take deep breaths, and think of the calm person you want to be..

3rd.. go to a therapist.. not for meds.. just to talk coz sometimes that's all u need..

4th.. read a lot of Quran coz it'll calm ur soul :)

GOOD LUCK! :)

[ImAli]

You are not alone...I have an extremely bad temper no matter what I try. It is very difficult....usually it feels good to break things but that gets expensive. I hope you feel better. Oh yeah an old lady once told it means you will have strong songs :D

Edited August 31, 2011 by ImAli

[MysticKnight]

You should consult a professional.

[ImAli]

You should consult a professional.

She did consult one but their nice soothing voices are annoying

[jannahismygoal]

First of all, anger is normal and its a natural emotion. However the emotion of anger is rarely the problem, its usually the actions we take that will create the difficulty.

While anger is a natural emotion, it usually clouds our thinking, it will create a tunnel vision of "right and wrong" thinking, (blaming, ridiculing,etc)...because of that it inhibits your ability to rationally think out the situation at hand. So I think that, you should seek a method in which will allow you to reach a state of tranquility within, so that you can then analyze the situation and be able to reason, instead of thinking with your emotions.

When I get very upset my father always makes an analogy of my anger being similar to that of "Pandoras box" which is pretty much a box that contains all the evils of the world, so when let loose (or opened) all the contents of evil and destruction jump out.

He always tells me to walk off into a room that is isolated, have a glass of water, and recite three salawats.

:)

[yalatif]

Asalam..

well i get mad sometimes *hardly alhemduallah.

Try this - Pray 2 raka3as .. slowly! ad try to cry it out to Allah .. wallah you would feel your soul at peace.

Inshallah this Helps .

take care sister

[kanez-e-Zahra]

Have you tried self help books??? Sometimes the best way to solve a problem is to take it apart, understand it, write it out and then tackle it by practicing the right way. Go to the library or book store and get one, then start cracking. A lot of them first explain and explore the the problem (in this case - anger) then get you to tackle it by keeping dairy, writing things out etc.

If you want i can suggest a book that I've used and that's helped me...just message me.

Good luck!

[only1]

think of those less-fortune and i'm sure your anger will lessen.