Plz Help Me

[Aly ReZa]

Salam alaikum

Basically I m from india and I m just 18 and studying in collage.

Well my problem is from ther very first day I saw a girl in my class and I start liking her.

She is a kafir girl and I really really have a huge CRUSH on her.

I have spoken to her just 1 or 2 times by just giving the excuses of notes and all.

I am a middle class person and she is ultra high with my status.

I tried to ignore thinking about her I m even not going to call coz I know she will be there (college is the only place where I can see her)

I asked 1 of my friend the basic info about her and I came to know that she stays far away frm my area.

Now the problem is there I don't know why but I am now literally having a dream about her I was like how can this possible but yes this the fact I am getting a dream about her frequently

I am helpless I don't know what to do she is always in my mind wherever however I m.

Any suggestion or advice will be highly appreciated.

Wassalam

[Rasul]

Now the problem is there I don't know why but I am now literally having a dream about her I was like how can this possible but yes this the fact I am getting a dream about her frequently

I am helpless I don't know what to do she is always in my mind wherever however I m.

Any suggestion or advice will be highly appreciated.

Wassalam

Wa Salam

you are in love, it will go away with time...

Edited August 28, 2011 by Rasul

[imaan=faith]

(salam)

pardon me, but these kind of loves is called "Fake Love"

you would achieve to her, you are with each other for 8-11 month...then do u know what would happen?

when you see another girl, you would fall in her love...

this is what psychology experiences shows us...

try to decide logically...

[shoelace]

jitni chadar ho utni hain par pasaro.....she is kafir and on top of that ultra rich compare to you.then why dont just concentrate on studies and get some good degree which can help u in making a bright future.

[alhabeeb]

asSalaam alaykum wa Rahmatullah

InshaAllah (SWT) you and your family are well

The first thing you should do is not worry, you will be safe if you rely on Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì.

Then you need to control your desires. I know its very hard but its the only way. Pray to Allah (SWT) for His ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáìs help and be patient. Busy your mind with the remembrance of Allah (SWT) especially at times when your heart and mind even have a thought or feeling associated with this girl. Your mind is where you will win the battle - stop the thoughts and you will be safe.

Fasting is very helpful it reduces the desires.

If your desires are very high speak to your parents about getting married. I know this will take time, but Allah (SWT) will always help you.

Try and have a thinkiing session every night where you monitor your progress and think of new ways to solve your problem.

Know that if you succeed then you will not only have avoided a haram act but you will have built a kingdom of strength within your existence, you will have shown to al-Rahman that you are ready for more difficult challenges and He (SWT) will choose you to receive His ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáìs favours.

May Allah (SWT) bless you and make you successful

[Aly ReZa]

jitni chadar ho utni hain par pasaro.....she is kafir and on top of that ultra rich compare to you.then why dont just concentrate on studies and get some good degree which can help u in making a bright future.

She came into my mind and then I came to know all diz about her.

By the way r u frm india

asSalaam alaykum wa Rahmatullah

InshaAllah (SWT) you and your family are well

The first thing you should do is not worry, you will be safe if you rely on Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì.

Then you need to control your desires. I know its very hard but its the only way. Pray to Allah (SWT) for His ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáìs help and be patient. Busy your mind with the remembrance of Allah (SWT) especially at times when your heart and mind even have a thought or feeling associated with this girl. Your mind is where you will win the battle - stop the thoughts and you will be safe.

Fasting is very helpful it reduces the desires.

If your desires are very high speak to your parents about getting married. I know this will take time, but Allah (SWT) will always help you.

Try and have a thinkiing session every night where you monitor your progress and think of new ways to solve your problem.

Know that if you succeed then you will not only have avoided a haram act but you will have built a kingdom of strength within your existence, you will have shown to al-Rahman that you are ready for more difficult challenges and He (SWT) will choose you to receive His ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáìs favours.

May Allah (SWT) bless you and make you successful

Walaikum salam bro

Alhamdullilah I like ur post but its quite difficult to work on it

As I already mentioned in my earlier post that I tried to ignore but when I got a dream about her it became a platform in my heart and mind.

Thanx for the wonderful post

May Allah s.w.t gives u the reward for all ur efforts.

Remember me in ur supplications.

Wassalam

[Ali_Hussain]

wa alaykum salaam

brother, there is no magic formula for this kind of thing, the best you could possibly do is think of all the negative points about her and build on that.

But if you have only spken to her twice, it must only be because of the way she looks, i'm guessing. Either way, there is nothing you can do, keep your mind on other things, this will pass in time, or else you could try to do a mut'a with her, getting hard crushing 'no' could give you all the ammunition you need to start disliking her (or she could say yes, who knows)

Either way, for sure obsessing about it will just make it worse, recite the Qur'an, it's good for taking your mind off things.

Good luck with it, but it will pass.

[Aly ReZa]

wa alaykum salaam

brother, there is no magic formula for this kind of thing, the best you could possibly do is think of all the negative points about her and build on that.

But if you have only spken to her twice, it must only be because of the way she looks, i'm guessing. Either way, there is nothing you can do, keep your mind on other things, this will pass in time, or else you could try to do a mut'a with her, getting hard crushing 'no' could give you all the ammunition you need to start disliking her (or she could say yes, who knows)

Either way, for sure obsessing about it will just make it worse, recite the Qur'an, it's good for taking your mind off things.

Good luck with it, but it will pass.

Salam

Bro she is kafir as I mentioned in my earlier post so I can't even think my future with her we have a lot of difference and having a totally different life style.

U might be correct that all I m doing that because of her look but can u advice 1 thing

Really I didn't thought about her yesterday

But why I got a dream about her today it self why she is knocking on me again and again.

Any practical reply will be highly appreciated.

Wassalam

Naara haidery

[Ali_Hussain]

brother, as i said, there is no magical formula to sort this kind of thing out, apart from time. As to why you are dreaming about her, i couldn't say, i don't think it's a good idea to start basing your life around dreams you have had.

Just try to keep your mind focused on other things, as i said recite the Qur'an, but to be honest, i'm not the best person to give advice about this sort of thing.

Though you could ask your parents to start looking for a wife for you, even if that might be a year or two down the line, it may help to take your mind of this.

ws

[Aly ReZa]

brother, as i said, there is no magical formula to sort this kind of thing out, apart from time. As to why you are dreaming about her, i couldn't say, i don't think it's a good idea to start basing your life around dreams you have had.

Just try to keep your mind focused on other things, as i said recite the Qur'an, but to be honest, i'm not the best person to give advice about this sort of thing.

Though you could ask your parents to start looking for a wife for you, even if that might be a year or two down the line, it may help to take your mind of this.

ws

Salam thanx for ur advice brother I request u to plz remember me in ur prayers may Allah give u reward for all of ur effort I will do something to ignore her may Allah help me and success me as well as u also in this world and here after.

Ilahi aameen

Wassalam

[Shia_Debater]

(salam)

Brother, Allah (swt) has decided are spouses for us already, that is if we are to have a spouse or not and who it will be, now obviously we cant sit around and expect to get married to them, but if it is meant to be it will happen, and if it is not meant to be then it wont. Avoid her and carry on with your life as if you never saw her, for all you know she may convert in a years time, you may then end up marrying etc. Yes I know its unlikely but Allah (swt) guides whom he wills, and like I said if it is meant to be then it will happen.

Also looks can be decieving, there are many women who you may see and at first have some "feelings" for them based on their looks, but you may hate their personality, their job, the way they speak, their lifestyle, their ideology etc. Its not worth getting a bunch of bad deeds and getting close to hell for 1 woman, or for all the women in the world.

If it makes you feel depressed or upset then please read this post,

http://www.shiachat.com/forum/index.php?/topic/234993558-how-to-cure-depression-i-found-a-solution/

(wasalam)

[Aly ReZa]

(salam)

Brother, Allah (swt) has decided are spouses for us already, that is if we are to have a spouse or not and who it will be, now obviously we cant sit around and expect to get married to them, but if it is meant to be it will happen, and if it is not meant to be then it wont. Avoid her and carry on with your life as if you never saw her, for all you know she may convert in a years time, you may then end up marrying etc. Yes I know its unlikely but Allah (swt) guides whom he wills, and like I said if it is meant to be then it will happen.

Also looks can be decieving, there are many women who you may see and at first have some "feelings" for them based on their looks, but you may hate their personality, their job, the way they speak, their lifestyle, their ideology etc. Its not worth getting a bunch of bad deeds and getting close to hell for 1 woman, or for all the women in the world.

If it makes you feel depressed or upset then please read this post,

http://www.shiachat.com/forum/index.php?/topic/234993558-how-to-cure-depression-i-found-a-solution/

(wasalam)

Thanx thanx a ton brother really it was such a useful post for me I will try to prepare mentaly like this its only like if Allah s.w.t wants that thing to happen its gonna happen and if doesn't want that thing should be happen then it won't

Really I appreciate the way u think and I also visited the topic below which has been created by you its so quite usefull for every 1 brother I have sent u a pm plz reply me on that as I think u can help me on my another situation and really if u will inshallah Allah s.w.t will bless like anything believe me.

Wassalam thanx again

Naara haidery