Shia Speed Dating-why Is It A Bad Thing

[Waiting for HIM]

Salam,

We have such a huge Shia (Muslims in general) marriage problem in USA. Almost every 6th topic in sc is about muta, or marriage, or sins due to the lack of. Kids are doing weird things and publicizing it on sc. Sisters are sitting there getting old. Brothers are looking to extract fatwas to do muta with mushriks (muta with mushrik is btw totally haram). It appears to me there is a huge crisis going on in our community at large.

What are some of the reasons that you would not like to go for a Shia Speed Dating?

Even though, if speed dating sessions are supervised by adults, all participants are background checked, entry fee is nominal (say $$ not $$$), dress code is strictly enforced, participants come with the intention to find long term partners, Flirty Uncles are totally out banned, so what would stop you from attending such a Speed Dating event?

Tell me what are your concerns!!!

[lalala123]

None. Set one up. you can set one up in the UK, while you're at it.

Although, I might sit there like a lemon and not say much to my 'dates'.

Edited August 11, 2011 by lalala12

[Shia_Debater]

Also you have to make sure its an area thats has a lot of shias .. plus if people see each other they know there then they may judge them .. 2 many problems

[Kamranistan]

I wouldn't go, but one reason because mainly it could end up in haram right? People might abuse it

[lalala123]

Also you have to make sure its an area thats has a lot of shias .. plus if people see each other they know there then they may judge them .. 2 many problems

Very true and that would be very embarrassing.

I wouldn't go, but one reason because mainly it could end up in haram right? People might abuse it

You wouldn't go because you would abuse it? I didn't think you were like that! :P

Joking aside, it's a fair point, but the people who abuse it should be reported to the organisers and get booted out.

Maybe speed-dating isn't the answer, but we definitlely need something in the Shia community to help facilitate marriage.

Edited August 11, 2011 by lalala12

[Kamranistan]

Very true and that would be very embarrassing.

You wouldn't go because you would abuse it? I didn't think you were like that! :P

Joking aside, it's a fair point, but the people who abuse it should be reported to the organisers and get booted out.

Maybe speed-dating isn't the answer, but we definitlely need something in the Shia community to help facilitate marriage.

LOL, hence i wouldn't go ;)

Na but I agree, marriage has become complicated man, it should be simple. Maybe something would be a good idea, but this is just a bit too 'dating' feel probably.

[BabyBeaverIsAKit]

It's a great idea and I would go. I would fly in for it. I'm tired of hearing people say that there is the potential for haraam with it-- there is a much larger potential for haraam if we do not get our single people married. Additionally, this is just a tool, so with well-intentioned people, it can go well. Also, don't punish everyone for the bad behavior of just a few.

Edited August 12, 2011 by BabyBeaverIsAKit

[Kamranistan]

It's a great idea and I would go. I would fly in for it. I'm tired of hearing people say that there is the potential for haraam with it-- there is a much larger potential for haraam if we do not get our single people married. Additionally, this is just a tool, so with well-intentioned people, it can go well. Also, don't punish everyone for the bad behavior of just a few.

Yes of course, it would have to be monitored etc..

[Waiting for HIM]

Thanks for the inputs so far. People judging you is a problem. I'll be eagerly waiting for more input.

[Sheraz]

The main thing is people that take part in such an event should have "good intentions" and see it has a long term relationship rather than a fling here n there.

Monitoring such ppl could get tricky but it can be done.

[Maula Dha Mallang]

i was speaking to brother al hadi about setting up a (halal) all shia matchmaking event in the UK, the guy mash'Allah has some brilliant ideas. if i ever pull my finger out, i will organise it here, but could do with some support (spreading the word, website, admin etc)

Edited August 12, 2011 by Maula Dha Mallang

[OneNoteSong]

I see nothing wrong with it, provided everyone has the same goal, i.e. speed dating for permanent marriage. The ppl interested in mutah can have their own speed dating session. I know some ulema have a problem with this sort of thing because they want to be able to monitor every single interaction between guys and girls instead of just a few chaperones walking around just spot-checking to make sure no haraam talk is going on. But I think it's ridiculous because there are plenty of opportunities for dirty talk everywhere.