If It Is Haram To Be Jealous Of Another Wife?

[ImAli]

According to some it is haram to be jealous of another wife and it would also be haram for a woman to ask for divorce because her husband married another. I know in my case if my husband did this I wouldn't be able to control my jealousy, it would be automatic and I would not be able to suppress it no matter how hard I tried. To be honest my heart would fill with hate if something like this happened to me and the only way to escape it would be to divorce my husband or I may destroy my soul with hate and jealousy. This hate and jealousy would in turn cause me to sin, become a horrible person and displease Allah. So what would be recommended then....would divorce on the grounds of my husband taking a second wife still be haram if it would literally drive me crazy physically and mentally?

[Gypsy]

(salam)

You can stipulate a monogamy clause in the marriage contract if you don't wanna deal with polygamous marriages. Please see the fatwa from marjas here

[Ruq]

Jealousy is a naturally occuring human emotion, so it isnt haram to feel an emotion. When you come to how a person deals with these emotions is when you get into haram or halal acts. If you and your partner have stipulated a polygamous marriage then this is a non-issue. If you have agreed that a polygamous marriage would suit you both then hopefully youve thougth long and hard before entering into such a situation.

[ImAli]

You know the reason why I asked this is my husband was joking with me telling me he will get another wife (he was joking). I still became angry even though he was joking and told him I would divorce him. He told me I could get a divorce in court but he would give me a hard time at getting a religious divorce :shaytan: ....although I think I would get my way in the end :mad: . Sure I guess someone could stipulate in the marriage contract that they want to remain monogamous........but sometimes those things just don't cross your mind when you are getting married. So what if it is a situation like that? What if you just didn't think about it when you were getting married, it happens, you become angry, and it is too late?

[Waiting for HIM]

Islam means Submission. SUBMIT all your self (you will, emotions, feelings, wants, desires, longings, affiliations, loves, hates etc.) in the WILL of your Lord, Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì.

Once you have submitted in your entirety to your Lord, all those things that we worry about day in and day out big or small, would look extremely trivial.

Your husband exercised his right given to him by Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì. Why would you demand something in return which Allah dislikes the most which is divorce. Console your self by saying that in this case he is following the Sunnah of Imam Hussain (as) so I would follow the way of Umm-e-Rabab (ra) who was one of the wives of Imam (as).

But again, I pray he was just joking :)

[ImAli]

Islam means Submission. SUBMIT all your self (you will, emotions, feelings, wants, desires, longings, affiliations, loves, hates etc.) in the WILL of your Lord, Allah سبحانه وتعالى.

Once you have submitted in your entirety to your Lord, all those things that we worry about day in and day out big or small, would look extremely trivial.

Your husband exercised his right given to him by Allah سبحانه وتعالى. Why would you demand something in return which Allah dislikes the most which is divorce. Console your self by saying that in this case he is following the Sunnah of Imam Hussain (as) so I would follow the way of Umm-e-Rabab (ra) who was one of the wives of Imam (as).

But again, I pray he was just joking :)

Oh he was :shaytan: ..... but you see what you are saying is easier said than done.....I am very jealous when it comes to my husband.

[Ali_Hussain]

I know this is easy for me to say, however, yes, this type of jealousy would be a sin, though I would imagine, a man would not take a second wife without consulting his current wife, in which case, she should explain to him that it would be too much for her to bare and give him the reasons why, and insha Allah he would respect her wishes, unless he has a valid reason for wanting/needing a second wife

Imam Ali (a) said

Jealousy in woman is unpardonable but in man it is a sign of his faith in religion (because Islam has permitted polygamy and prohibited polyandry).

Nahjul Balagha saying 123

There are not ten different ways to interpret this hadith

Edited August 18, 2011 by ShahHussain

[ImAli]

I know this is easy for me to say, however, yes, this type of jealousy would be a sin, though I would imagine, a man would not take a second wife without consulting his current wife, in which case, she should explain to him that it would be too much for her to bare and give him the reasons why, and insha Allah he would respect her wishes, unless he has a valid reason for wanting/needing a second wife

Imam Ali (a) said

Jealousy in woman is unpardonable but in man it is a sign of his faith in religion (because Islam has permitted polygamy and prohibited polyandry).

Nahjul Balagha saying 123

There are not ten different ways to interpret this hadith

My husband wouldn't do it....he eventually told me that he couldn't handle the headache of two women (after watching me breath fire for a few minutes he told me LOL). But my husbands uncle did it.....he took a sunni woman for his second wife without telling his first wife until after the fact :realangery: .

[BabyBeaverIsAKit]

It wouldn't be haraam, it would be completely understandable and justified.

['pride is for allah']

Imam Ali (a) said

Jealousy in woman is unpardonable but in man it is a sign of his faith in religion

That proves atleast all of the women in shiachat are faithless

[alimohamad40]

salaam

Imam Ali (a) said

Jealousy in woman is unpardonable but in man it is a sign of his faith in religion (because Islam has permitted polygamy and prohibited polyandry).

Nahjul Balagha saying 123

Who translated this hadeeth as " Jealousy in woman is unpardonable??? The word Used here is KUFR so whoever translated it tried to apologize to anti islamic cultures???

KUFR doesn't mean "unpardonable" it means "blocking and covering the truth" and its the worse crime the human can commit.

Kufr is the opposite of Faith (emaan) and the opposite of Emaan is not " Unpardonable" but its "Rejection of truth"

check the dictionary

regarding monogamy conditions : its prohibited to make a monogamy condition . In Wasael alshia there is a whole chapter saying that monogamy conditions are not valid and if put inplace do not hold value.

divorce can always be taken even if the woman has no proper reason but if divorce is for the reason of polygyny then the divorce will be valid but the woman will get sins for that.

The most dangerous thing is the human who stands in front of god and says " I reject your law because of my feelings"

its very daring and dangerous and in addition its closing the doors of hallal and opening the doors of haraam and hence baring all teh sings that result from this corruption as imam Ali said " each time one door of hallal is closed 1000 doors of haraam are opened "

it will force the husband to resort to haraam and open 1000 doors of haraam because teh hallal door was closed by her.

and for the sister UM Ali

I give you an advice do not test god

If you say that you reject polygyny god will make it a test for you

say to yourself that " I am ready for it and i don't reject it " and mean these words from your heart and make it clear to your husband that you do not reject it

If you follow this advice there is a chance that god will exempt you from this test but if you say that you reject it then god will test you with it and you will loose everything.

A muslim means the one who submits .. so submission is needed

Salaam

Edited August 19, 2011 by alimohamad40

[ImAli]

salaam

Who translated this hadeeth as " Jealousy in woman is unpardonable??? The word Used here is KUFR so whoever translated it tried to apologize to anti islamic cultures???

KUFR doesn't mean "unpardonable" it means "blocking and covering the truth" and its the worse crime the human can commit.

Kufr is the opposite of Faith (emaan) and the opposite of Emaan is not " Unpardonable" but its "Rejection of truth"

check the dictionary

regarding monogamy conditions : its prohibited to make a monogamy condition . In Wasael alshia there is a whole chapter saying that monogamy conditions are not valid and if put inplace do not hold value.

divorce can always be taken even if the woman has no proper reason but if divorce is for the reason of polygyny then the divorce will be valid but the woman will get sins for that.

The most dangerous thing is the human who stands in front of god and says " I reject your law because of my feelings"

its very daring and dangerous and in addition its closing the doors of hallal and opening the doors of haraam and hence baring all teh sings that result from this corruption as imam Ali said " each time one door of hallal is closed 1000 doors of haraam are opened "

it will force the husband to resort to haraam and open 1000 doors of haraam because teh hallal door was closed by her.

and for the sister UM Ali

I give you an advice do not test god

If you say that you reject polygyny god will make it a test for you

say to yourself that " I am ready for it and i don't reject it " and mean these words from your heart and make it clear to your husband that you do not reject it

If you follow this advice there is a chance that god will exempt you from this test but if you say that you reject it then god will test you with it and you will loose everything.

A muslim means the one who submits .. so submission is needed

Salaam

The conversation between my husband and I was much longer than I wrote about on here. We spoke for a while and alot of my concerns came up....like I mentioned earlier in the post he says he doesn't want the headache of two women, he also admitted He COULD NEVER be completely fair between two women. Don't try to chastise me for a natural feeling. What is worse? Divorce and let go of the jealousy then go on with your life? Or to continue the jealousy and bitterness every day (daily sinning).

You know what.....I can't stand the fact of my husband having relations with another woman then coming to me the next night. It makes my skin crawl and makes me feel filthy....THAT I would have a hard time with, it makes my stomach turn. Just disgusting......just like men don't want another man in their wife.....some women feel the same way.

[Guest Monad]

" Those who execute it,should possess a standard of high-thinking and should be well trained in the Islamic ways " on polygamy.

Allama Murtaza Mutahhari-Woman And Her Rights In Islam

http://www.2shared.com/document/3-dSoQvJ/AllamaMurtazaMutahhari-WomanAn.html

[OneNoteSong]

Alimohamad40, you can put any condition you want. Stop making stuff up. I truly feel sorry for whoever you married.

Edited August 19, 2011 by OneNoteSong

[alimohamad40]

Salaam

sister ImAli

....like I mentioned earlier in the post he says he doesn't want the headache of two women,

maybe that headache is an injustice and transgression upon him simply for practicing his legitimate god given right???

maybe he would opt to fall into sins because he thinks the harm of it would be less than the headache of two wives???

so who is the cause of this problem??? the person causing the headache?? No?

Also many men speak like this about the headache being a big compromise but in their heart its a different story and they say this to keep the wife calm so you have to be open to know whats "in his heart" not to get him to tell you "what you want to hear".

If you dont react negatively and dictate then the man would probably speak the full truth but I know many men who use hypocrisy with their wives when it comes to these topics to keep them ignorant and delusional of reality.

i know many men who used to raise the monogamy slogans " your the only one on earth" and nonsense like that and later their scandals of secret illegitimate and legitimate relations hit the sky so make sure you are not fooled by diplomacy and politics.

Now the headache part is true thats why many men resort to secret muta or secret illegitimate relations and the whole society is scandalous. .

he also admitted He COULD NEVER be completely fair between two women.

there are two equalities mentioned by the quraan... one of them is required and the other type is not required

the one which is required is mentioned in the verse " and if you fear that you do not do justice to the orphans then marry what you desire 2 , 3 or 4 and if you are afraid that you will not be equal then one or what your right hand possesses , that is closer that you may not divert. "

this equality is required and its the equality in materialistic issues like distribution of time and money and etc.

the other equality which god does not require is the equality in love (Equality of the heart)

this equality is mentioned in the following verse and the verse states that its not required:

" and you will never be just between multiple women even if you try your best so do not divert fully to an extent that you leave one of them (the multiple wives) hanging"

so the verse is saying to do it but try not to divert fully to make one of the wives like she is not a wife..

you can read tafseer al meezan for these two versus and he explains from the hadeeth which equality is required and which one is not required.

Don't try to chastise me for a natural feeling.

it depends what you define as natural feelings but not every natural feelings is allowed to take its shape and effect our actions let me give you examples...

its our natural feelings to love our self and love the possession for our self right?

so is a thief justified when he acts in response to his natural love of exclusive possession when he tries to posses what he is not entitled to?

jealousy is also the love of possession. you can only posses something when it is exclusively yours but every man on earth has the right to four wives so no man is exclusively the possession of one female..... Therefore when one female tries to exclusively posses a male she is denying other females and denying the man their natural rights and she is trying to posess what she is not entitled to just like the thief trying to posses what he is not entitled to and both of them are motivated by a natural feeling namely

the love of the self

the love of exclusive possession

As the imam says

its not designated for the female to posses the man exclusively because there are three other females that have the right to him as well.

Don't try to chastise me for a natural feeling. What is worse? Divorce and let go of the jealousy then go on with your life? Or to continue the jealousy and bitterness every day (daily sinning).

yes if you know that for sure you will keep sinning to a level that the unreasonable divorce is a lesser evil then you should take the lesser of the two evils as you say but when i give advice I aim for the ambitious option not for the lesser of two evils.

the ambitious option is none of the above that you mentioned i.e. not divorce nor jealousy but to actually work on your mentality to come to terms and submission with gods law and invite it into your life. i.e. be brave and you go ahead and propose a wife for your husband.

Thats the most ambitious but i know the reality is not that perfect... so yes sometimes divorce might be the option even though in constitutes a big crime to the rights of the kids.

You know what.....I can't stand the fact of my husband having relations with another woman then coming to me the next night. It makes my skin crawl and makes me feel filthy....THAT I would have a hard time with, it makes my stomach turn. Just disgusting......just like men don't want another man in their wife.....some women feel the same way.

the negative feeling towards whats hallal and encouraged is due to a negativity. Ummulbaneen was the wife of imam ali alon with other wives

Zainab al hawra was also a cowife

Sarah and hajar peace be upon them

so its not nice to say its filthy and things like that because this is the lifestyle of the prophets

the overwhelming majority of the prophets and imams had multiple wives and they are role models

filthy is the enforced and alleged monogamy which leads to many scandals like we hear everyday in the news... closing the hallal door and opening 1000 haraam doors as imam said..

multiple marriage is hallal and mustahab (recommended) but the scandals in the enforced monogamy are usually haraam and either involve fornication or deception.

so its this that should make us feel filthy when we sleep the night not knowing " is my husband committing scandals because of my prohibition of god's lawful or not"

but when you sleep the night knowing that you have not closed gods hallal doors then if some one falls into a scandal then they have no one to blame but them self.

" Those who execute it,should possess a standard of high-thinking and should be well trained in the Islamic ways " on polygamy.

Allama Murtaza Mutahhari-Woman And Her Rights In Islam

http://www.2shared.c...ri-WomanAn.html

this is a requirement for any marriage

as you see today around 50% of marriages fail in the first three months. this means there is a serious problem but this issue is not exclusive to polygyny...

god sanctioned polygyny for a reason so it must be practiced otherwise there will be scandals in the absence of it so all the excuses to complicate it and make it close to impossible are efforts which will lead to the disablement of the law and hence the 1000 scandals that imam ali mentions.

its a hallal door and its generally encouraged under the islamic jurisprudence so closing that door will open 1000 doors of scandals as we witness in the society .

Edited August 19, 2011 by alimohamad40

[alimohamad40]

Alimohamad40, you can put any condition you want. Stop making stuff up. I truly feel sorry for whoever you married.

we discussed this issue previously you can search it... you can't put any condition you like. That's your fantasy. you can not put conditions that prohibit the lawful or legalize the prohibited.

[ImAli]

Salaam

sister ImAli

maybe that headache is an injustice and transgression upon him simply for practicing his legitimate god given right???

maybe he would opt to fall into sins because he thinks the harm of it would be less than the headache of two wives???

so who is the cause of this problem??? the person causing the headache?? No?

Also many men speak like this about the headache being a big compromise but in their heart its a different story and they say this to keep the wife calm so you have to be open to know whats "in his heart" not to get him to tell you "what you want to hear".

If you dont react negatively and dictate then the man would probably speak the full truth but I know many men who use hypocrisy with their wives when it comes to these topics to keep them ignorant and delusional of reality.

i know many men who used to raise the monogamy slogans " your the only one on earth" and nonsense like that and later their scandals of secret illegitimate and legitimate relations hit the sky so make sure you are not fooled by diplomacy and politics.

Now the headache part is true thats why many men resort to secret muta or secret illegitimate relations and the whole society is scandalous. .

there are two equalities mentioned by the quraan... one of them is required and the other type is not required

the one which is required is mentioned in the verse " and if you fear that you do not do justice to the orphans then marry what you desire 2 , 3 or 4 and if you are afraid that you will not be equal then one or what your right hand possesses , that is closer that you may not divert. "

this equality is required and its the equality in materialistic issues like distribution of time and money and etc.

the other equality which god does not require is the equality in love (Equality of the heart)

this equality is mentioned in the following verse and the verse states that its not required:

" and you will never be just between multiple women even if you try your best so do not divert fully to an extent that you leave one of them (the multiple wives) hanging"

so the verse is saying to do it but try not to divert fully to make one of the wives like she is not a wife..

you can read tafseer al meezan for these two versus and he explains from the hadeeth which equality is required and which one is not required.

it depends what you define as natural feelings but not every natural feelings is allowed to take its shape and effect our actions let me give you examples...

its our natural feelings to love our self and love the possession for our self right?

so is a thief justified when he acts in response to his natural love of exclusive possession when he tries to posses what he is not entitled to?

jealousy is also the love of possession. you can only posses something when it is exclusively yours but every man on earth has the right to four wives so no man is exclusively the possession of one female..... Therefore when one female tries to exclusively posses a male she is denying other females and denying the man their natural rights and she is trying to posess what she is not entitled to just like the thief trying to posses what he is not entitled to and both of them are motivated by a natural feeling namely

the love of the self

the love of exclusive possession

As the imam says

its not designated for the female to posses the man exclusively because there are three other females that have the right to him as well.

yes if you know that for sure you will keep sinning to a level that the unreasonable divorce is a lesser evil then you should take the lesser of the two evils as you say but when i give advice I aim for the ambitious option not for the lesser of two evils.

the ambitious option is none of the above that you mentioned i.e. not divorce nor jealousy but to actually work on your mentality to come to terms and submission with gods law and invite it into your life. i.e. be brave and you go ahead and propose a wife for your husband.

Thats the most ambitious but i know the reality is not that perfect... so yes sometimes divorce might be the option even though in constitutes a big crime to the rights of the kids.

the negative feeling towards whats hallal and encouraged is due to a negativity. Ummulbaneen was the wife of imam ali alon with other wives

Zainab al hawra was also a cowife

Sarah and hajar peace be upon them

so its not nice to say its filthy and things like that because this is the lifestyle of the prophets

the overwhelming majority of the prophets and imams had multiple wives and they are role models

filthy is the enforced and alleged monogamy which leads to many scandals like we hear everyday in the news... closing the hallal door and opening 1000 haraam doors as imam said..

multiple marriage is hallal and mustahab (recommended) but the scandals in the enforced monogamy are usually haraam and either involve fornication or deception.

so its this that should make us feel filthy when we sleep the night not knowing " is my husband committing scandals because of my prohibition of god's lawful or not"

but when you sleep the night knowing that you have not closed gods hallal doors then if some one falls into a scandal then they have no one to blame but them self.

this is a requirement for any marriage

as you see today around 50% of marriages fail in the first three months. this means there is a serious problem but this issue is not exclusive to polygyny...

god sanctioned polygyny for a reason so it must be practiced otherwise there will be scandals in the absence of it so all the excuses to complicate it and make it close to impossible are efforts which will lead to the disablement of the law and hence the 1000 scandals that imam ali mentions.

its a hallal door and its generally encouraged under the islamic jurisprudence so closing that door will open 1000 doors of scandals as we witness in the society .

The natural feeling I am talking about is a feeling or deep hurt and sorrow more than it is jealousy. Just imagining this happening hurts deep, very deep, I couldn't imagine the pain if it really did happen.

[OneNoteSong]

we discussed this issue previously you can search it... you can't put any condition you like. That's your fantasy. you can not put conditions that prohibit the lawful or legalize the prohibited.

I know we have. But you obviously don't get it. If both parties agree to forgo something by signing the same contract, then they must stick to it. Do you think it's Islamic to break a promise?

[alimohamad40]

Salaam

The natural feeling I am talking about is a feeling or deep hurt and sorrow more than it is jealousy. Just imagining this happening hurts deep, very deep, I couldn't imagine the pain if it really did happen.

to have a calm and emotionless and rational study of the reasons behind these feelings.

its might be a long process but it requires a study of the self in depth.

why i feel negative... is it because i must be the only one and the highest one? is this related to ego? is it because i need him alot of the time to be physically present? is it because i am tricked by the common misconception that whoever marries again doesn't like his first wife? there are many things but unfortunately now am getting sleepy and your logo applies to me lol

come to bed "" no no some one is saying some thing wrong on the internet" lol

[OneNoteSong]

Alimo, how many wives do you have? Do you really think you can treat them all fairly? How will you be able to support them all? How will you do the housework and childcare of two wives in addition to financially supporting both?

Edited August 19, 2011 by OneNoteSong

[alimohamad40]

I know we have. But you obviously don't get it. If both parties agree to forgo something by signing the same contract, then they must stick to it. Do you think it's Islamic to break a promise?

its not islamic to break a promise and also its not islamic to make a promise which includes sins

for example if i promise you that i will steal from you. do i have to live up to that promise?

how many wives i have now is just one

I used to have two at some times

three at some times ... but distance relation

so maximum i had which were both present were two

but its besides the point , having more wives is a mercy it makes your family stronger and so much more productive and able and immune.

Edited August 19, 2011 by alimohamad40

[OneNoteSong]

It's not a sin to decide together that only one spouse is plenty. It's hard emotionally and isn't even practical so even a husband might prefer only one wife. Alimo, just stop thinking with your nether regions and let blood flow to your brain instead.

Yes, if I had a husband with a motorcycle, please steal that because I don't want him risking his life on it.

Alimo, how do you afford so many wives? What's your profession? Did you inherit a bunch of money?

Wait, I don't get it. So, Alimo, do you mean to tell me you would agree to have only one wife, making your new bride think she was going to be the only one, then renege on your promise because "it wasn't valid to in the first place?" How is that ethical? It's deceitful.

Edited August 19, 2011 by OneNoteSong

[keys2paradise]

Sister, the best thing to do is stop fretting about situations you do not like that might never occur. Do not come on internet forums to receive responses that will make you feel even more uneasy. If your husband at some points speaks to you seriously about taking another wife, then you sit and have discussions with him about how you feel then. Not before, and I suggest you ask your husband to never again joke about taking another wife. It will be make you paranoid and may begin to have a detrimental effect on your relationship. Just continue to enjoy each other and only think about these sorts of things if you ever have to cross that bridge.

[ImAli]

Sister, the best thing to do is stop fretting about situations you do not like that might never occur. Do not come on internet forums to receive responses that will make you feel even more uneasy. If your husband at some points speaks to you seriously about taking another wife, then you sit and have discussions with him about how you feel then. Not before, and I suggest you ask your husband to never again joke about taking another wife. It will be make you paranoid and may begin to have a detrimental effect on your relationship. Just continue to enjoy each other and only think about these sorts of things if you ever have to cross that bridge.

Yes are you right about that. Although after reading that it would be haram for a woman to feel hurt or jealous in this situation and divorce because of it would be wrong I couldn't help but open a topic to discuss it further.

[alimohamad40]

Onenote be respectful and stop attacking me simply because of my lifestyle in which I emulate the prophets and imams. tell us who you emulate ? bill Clinton? or prince Charles?

if you want to personalize everything I bet you more blood flows in my brain than you lol tell us whats your achievements? studying? degrees?PHDs? linguistic abilities? knowledge of the quraan?

any way its not nice to personalize and its irrelevant

and i never advocated deceit i said the opposite to be open and honest

keys to paradise you are calling for people to put their head in the sand ???

[ImAli]

its not islamic to break a promise and also its not islamic to make a promise which includes sins

for example if i promise you that i will steal from you. do i have to live up to that promise?

how many wives i have now is just one

I used to have two at some times

three at some times ... but distance relation

so maximum i had which were both present were two

but its besides the point , having more wives is a mercy it makes your family stronger and so much more productive and able and immune.

My husbands uncle who married a second wife didn't make his family more productive. While his wife eventually grew to accept it and live with it...........his children never did. They no despise their father and have no respect for the other woman. Please don't blame it on the first wife, because she didn't teach her children to do this.

[keys2paradise]

Alimohammade, No, just not to worry about things that may not happen. I could worry myself sick about what would happen if my husband dies before me, if he has a terrible accident/illness and can no longer work and I become a full time breadwinner and his carer, if our business goes under, if something terrible happens to me, if we can't have children etc etc. It's best to just get on with life and worry about how you would react or deal with difficult situations when you actually have to face them.

Edited August 19, 2011 by keys2paradise

[iSilurian]

According to some it is haram to be jealous of another wife and it would also be haram for a woman to ask for divorce because her husband married another. I know in my case if my husband did this I wouldn't be able to control my jealousy, it would be automatic and I would not be able to suppress it no matter how hard I tried. To be honest my heart would fill with hate if something like this happened to me and the only way to escape it would be to divorce my husband or I may destroy my soul with hate and jealousy. This hate and jealousy would in turn cause me to sin, become a horrible person and displease Allah. So what would be recommended then....would divorce on the grounds of my husband taking a second wife still be haram if it would literally drive me crazy physically and mentally?

If you think about it in a natural sense, jealousy is a means of defending and preserving your own being. If your man has another wife, it implies things about how he feels about you, which may or may not threaten who you feel you are, or who you want yourself to be. So jealousy is simply a natural defense mechanism. It is no more an evil to feel a bit jealous than it is to feel hungry when you want food, or to feel a bit angry when someone hurts you. Its a natural defense. So perhaps you should analyze what it is you dislike about the situation, and ask yourself what harm it does to you (emotionally, physically). And if you believe it is emotionally or physically damaging, then you should take actions to rid yourself of the pain.

This is why we feel pain, so we can take action to defeat pain to better our lives. Its not evil to say "ouch!" when you put your hand on fire. Nor is it evil to pull your hand out of the fire. The pain is just a way of letting you know that youre involved in a situation that is harmful to you and it needs to be analyzed and taken care of.

In this situation, your husband has effectively created a fire near your hand, and youre asking if its haram that you feel the pain the flame brings. Of course you feel the pain, because youre human, you have feelings that need to be respected by your partner.

Edited August 19, 2011 by iSilurian

[OneNoteSong]

Yes, because in wanting >1 wife, his intentions are oh-so-noble...

[~Zee Zee~]

i would simply divorce him and marry someone else that will make me his whole world sooo much fish in the seeea

[ImAli]

i would simply divorce him and marry someone else that will make me his whole world sooo much fish in the seeea

Take cover from attack princess you shouldn't have said that LOOOOOOOOL alimohammed will come get you

[~Zee Zee~]

Take cover from attack princess you shouldn't have said that LOOOOOOOOL alimohammed will come get you

lol i just state the truth, i deserve to be treated like a princess/queen im not one to share my title.

[alimohamad40]

lol yes i will attack her even before saying that statement:

first Lebanese that reflects racism

second princes that reflects Ego centrism and selfishness and pharonic mentality

and third her stance against gods law

fourth the pride and saying " I am worth it " like the pharoah " I am your king and god" . implying that you are better than ummulbaneen or sarah or zainab who all were co wives ??? they were not worth it ?

[ImAli]

lol yes i will attack her even before saying that statement:

first Lebanese that reflects racism

second princes that reflects Ego centrism and selfishness and pharonic mentality

and third her stance against gods law

fourth the pride and saying " I am worth it " like the pharoah " I am your king and god" . implying that you are better than ummulbaneen or sarah or zainab who all were co wives ??? they were not worth it ?

alimohammed it is not in the nature of a lebanese woman to share :D also stating that you are Lebanese in your name doesn't reflect racism :D

[~Zee Zee~]

hahahahahha ill just let u ppl fight my battles for me enjoy!