Getting Attention Even With Hijab

[syeda123]

well ive been wearing hijab for a while now, but i get alot of attention especially from the muslim guys (by attention i mean stares and i think alot of them would try and speak to me if they had the chance...i dont give them the chance :P) and anyway sometimes i feel that without hijab i get less attention ( i still get some but its less).

hijab is supposed to cover you and protect you but sometimes i feel that its just making me stand out more? do any of you sister's feel this? if so, is there anything i can do to prevent it?

[Guest adilrizvi]

start wearing a full burqa with just the eyes uncovered.. and when someone stares at u stare back at them like you are a suicide bomber.. give fierce gazes to everyone randomly !! I'm sure that will help!

[Hamzi]

do not wear tight clothes and were a abya if they still stare at uou

[Ali_Hussain]

I can give you a male perspective on the issue, the people staring at you can probably be divided into various kinds, the first kind, and more prominent would be normal guys who are just attracted to what they perceive as piety (and perhaps your physical beauty, no need for you to comment on that), from this type of person, all you would need to do is lower your gaze as they will most likely have too much respect for your hijab to approach you, or else they would feel like you are unapproachable.

There is another type of person who has a fetish for girls in hijab (trust me, it can happen, and often the guy might not even be muslim)

And another type of person who himself would be more of the ‘bad-boy’ type person but he knows that it is best he settles down with someone whom he perceives as being pious

From the two examples I mentioned above, lowering your gaze might just make things worse as it would make you more attractive for them, from these two all you can do is just tell them to get lost if they approach you, or else wear the niqab, it will scare them off, but those two are the minority, so it’s up to you how you want to proceed

That’s my take on the issue anyways

[Al-Hadi]

one simple slogan

Be ugly-Just do it :P

but seriously reconsider the way you dress and the way you look.. hijab i more than a cloth

[Guest adilrizvi]

salamu alaykom sister,

try this:

-no makeup

-tie your headscarf in such a way that no hair is showing and your chest is fully covered by the headscarf as well

-wear very loose fitting clothing (loose top and long skirt)

Inshallah that will help

also, I am by no means assuming you are not already doing these things. you might be, or you might not. i do not intend to offend u in any way.

these three points tend to work very well for me, also keep in mind that if they are looking at you, that means you are looking back at them (since you can see their glances), so try to avoid looking at brothers altogether

wallahul alim

+100,000,000,000,000

Edited August 8, 2011 by adilrizvi

[Abu Lulu]

+100,000,000,000,000

How do you even pronounce this? Trillion?

[BabyBeaverIsAKit]

Dress modestly. I personally wouldn't give up make-up entirely; girls who don't wear hijab catch guys by showing their hair and wearing make-up, and you are competing against these same girls for guys. So my personal take is that you may cover your hair and dress modestly, but wearing a little bit of make-up is okay.

Are you SURE you're getting attention from guys? You're not just misinterpreting the signals? If you are, indeed, getting attention, is it negative attention? Are they attempting to just say salaam or something?

[ireallywannaknow]

Even if you're still getting attention from men, at least (if you are wearing proper hijab) you know that they're not ogling you inappropriately and checking out your curves. It may still be uncomfortable but you can feel somewhat comforted knowing they're not actually seeing much.

But if you weren't wearing hijab, you'll know almost for sure that guys are giving you lustful glances and you're providing exactly what they're looking for by being exposed.

[Fiasco]

Some women are just exceptionally beautiful. Hijab does little to detract attention. There's really not much you can do, unless you're willing to cover your face, but then that might attract the wrong kind of attention, depending on where you live.

You're doing what's required of you, there's little you can do to to avoid attention if you're attractive. It falls on the other party to lower their gaze and not stare obsessively. I'd recommend you not worry about it too much, unless someone is overly aggressive.

Edited August 8, 2011 by Fiasco

[Guest adilrizvi]

How do you even pronounce this? Trillion?

Quattuordecillion

[Sheraz]

I hate girls who wear a Hijaab with tight jeans :dry:

Social hijaab is also necassary one should always excercise that.

[Guest adilrizvi]

I hate girls who wear a Hijaab with tight jeans :dry:

Social hijaab is also necassary one should always excercise that.

means u hate all irani women eh?

[Maula Dha Mallang]

How do you even pronounce this? Trillion?

i think its a hundred trillion?

[syeda123]

I can give you a male perspective on the issue, the people staring at you can probably be divided into various kinds, the first kind, and more prominent would be normal guys who are just attracted to what they perceive as piety (and perhaps your physical beauty, no need for you to comment on that), from this type of person, all you would need to do is lower your gaze as they will most likely have too much respect for your hijab to approach you, or else they would feel like you are unapproachable.

There is another type of person who has a fetish for girls in hijab (trust me, it can happen, and often the guy might not even be muslim)

And another type of person who himself would be more of the ‘bad-boy’ type person but he knows that it is best he settles down with someone whom he perceives as being pious

From the two examples I mentioned above, lowering your gaze might just make things worse as it would make you more attractive for them, from these two all you can do is just tell them to get lost if they approach you, or else wear the niqab, it will scare them off, but those two are the minority, so it’s up to you how you want to proceed

That’s my take on the issue anyways

from my experiences what you say seems to be true and lowering my gaze can have the wrong effect but even so i will lower my gaze anyway :)

salamu alaykom sister,

try this:

-no makeup

-tie your headscarf in such a way that no hair is showing and your chest is fully covered by the headscarf as well

-wear very loose fitting clothing (loose top and long skirt)

Inshallah that will help

also, I am by no means assuming you are not already doing these things. you might be, or you might not. i do not intend to offend u in any way.

these three points tend to work very well for me, also keep in mind that if they are looking at you, that means you are looking back at them (since you can see their glances), so try to avoid looking at brothers altogether

wallahul alim

i hardly wear makeup just some foundation but thats for myself so i don't feel like a zombie when i do go out lol and if i do glance at them its once and usually by accident and then if they are staring at me its so uncomfortable and makes me feel really concious. i may need to reconsider what i wear, i don't wear tight clothing as such, i may need to get another perspective on what i wear as sometimes my judgement may not be right. thankk you for posting that, its making me think quite abit :)

i have had alot of experiences with men who just don't care about my dignity and just make me so angry! when i don't even look at them and completely ignore them and try to avoid them there's always one who acts like an idiot and makes me feel horrible, whether its the occasional remark or whatever. i just don't understand! if a girl is not showing any interest why do they still try?

my social hijab is good, i don't talk to men and i always try and behave in a way that doesn't attract to much attention. i think its what i wear but what i wear isn't tight at all....loose trousers, baggy long top sometimes a puffy maxi dress, fully covered and modest...i am planning on wearing the abaya as soon as i get one Insha'Allah. hopefully it will reduce the looks i keep getting. but i can't help feeling that i'm causing other people to do haram, 1st glance is halal, second is haram :S i know that its their fault as well, they should lower their gazes but the men these days have no deen any more, alot of them just disgust me.

:) oh and thank you for all the posts, they're really helpful

[Marbles]

I can give you a male perspective on the issue, the people staring at you can probably be divided into various kinds, the first kind, and more prominent would be normal guys who are just attracted to what they perceive as piety (and perhaps your physical beauty, no need for you to comment on that), from this type of person, all you would need to do is lower your gaze as they will most likely have too much respect for your hijab to approach you, or else they would feel like you are unapproachable.

There is another type of person who has a fetish for girls in hijab (trust me, it can happen, and often the guy might not even be muslim)

And another type of person who himself would be more of the ‘bad-boy’ type person but he knows that it is best he settles down with someone whom he perceives as being pious

From the two examples I mentioned above, lowering your gaze might just make things worse as it would make you more attractive for them, from these two all you can do is just tell them to get lost if they approach you, or else wear the niqab, it will scare them off, but those two are the minority, so it’s up to you how you want to proceed

That’s my take on the issue anyways

To translate what the brother is saying, it is simply impossible to stop men (of every type) from paying attention to females.

As Fiasco said, if you do what is required of you then you have little reason to bother about stares and gazes.

[wonderer]

maybe try light colors to blend quietly? or black? depending where u are..

I would simply ignore the looks and not even notice it, and if a guy seems like he's approbations give him "you are dead if you step closer" look :D

but really, you are doing your part in following ur rules, so u just be proud of urself :)

[DoubleAgent4]

means u hate all irani women eh?

Not all Irani women are like that! lol

[La fata illa Ali]

Not all Irani women are like that! lol

Lol, ya right!!!!

Ya Allah (aj), save us from the cunning of the women of Iran!!!!

[syeda123]

i'll just carry on ignoring them i guess :) May Allah guard me ilahi ameen

[wayfarer.]

hijab is supposed to cover you and protect you but sometimes i feel that its just making me stand out more? do any of you sister's feel this? if so, is there anything i can do to prevent it?

(salam)

Hijab is supposed to make you stand out more.

Hijab is an entity -- not to hide a woman. It is to expose her. Check surah Ahzab, verse number 59. (Surah ahzab is chapter number 33 in the Quran.)

033.059 O Prophet! Tell thy wives and daughters, and the believing women, that they should cast their outer garments over their persons (when abroad): that is most convenient, that they should be known (as such) and not molested. And God is O ft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

also listen to this video from 2:11 seconds

Hijab is like a flag of islam in public. When a woman wears hijab, she gets recognised, she becomes a teacher as to what is morality and ethics. When a woman wears the flag of islam in public, she is telling the world " this is where morality lies."

So I suggest you remain confident about yourself that you are following Allah's commands and ignore the stares and gazes of onlookers. In case anyone asks you " Don't you feel hot in that?" you can reply by saying that "i believe the fire of Hell is hotter" :)

(wasalam)

Edited August 8, 2011 by Trailblazer

[BabyBeaverIsAKit]

Someone brought up the issue of the colors you wear. My advice is to have fun with (all) colors and color-coordinating. Don't limit yourself to blacks or other supposedly more hijabi colors. If you see the hijabi girls who get married these days, they all wear make-up and nice, color-coordinated, reasonably form-fitting outfits, so don't put yourself at a disadvantage.

[syeda123]

hmmm :/ what i am going to do is get another view of how i look like when i go out, then i can know what i need to do to stop such glances.

(salam)

Hijab is supposed to make you stand out more.

Hijab is an entity -- not to hide a woman. It is to expose her. Check surah Ahzab, verse number 59. (Surah ahzab is chapter number 33 in the Quran.)

033.059 O Prophet! Tell thy wives and daughters, and the believing women, that they should cast their outer garments over their persons (when abroad): that is most convenient, that they should be known (as such) and not molested. And God is O ft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

also listen to this video from 2:11 seconds

Hijab is like a flag of islam in public. When a woman wears hijab, she gets recognised, she becomes a teacher as to what is morality and ethics. When a woman wears the flag of islam in public, she is telling the world " this is where morality lies."

So I suggest you remain confident about yourself that you are following Allah's commands and ignore the stares and gazes of onlookers. In case anyone asks you " Don't you feel hot in that?" you can reply by saying that "i believe the fire of Hell is hotter" :)

(wasalam)

masha'Allah ;) there are many criterias that the hijab is about, which i have only recently realised with the help of Allah (sbwt) and many knowledgeable people.

and by standing out i meant in a bad way, i'm proud to wear hijab, its just that i was wondering how come the way i stood out was getting me bad attention, but what you say is so wise 'hjab is the flag of islam'. thank you.many women today forgeet what the true meaning of hijab is, its not just about covering yourself its social hijab also and not only that, women who wear hijab are representing islam and Allahs commands so you have a responsibility upon you.

i wear stylish hijabs but i don't think its the colour of the scarf having an effect, in fact many people wear i live wear colourful scarves so in actual fact wearing black would not help me blend in :)

[Waiting for HIM]

Wel sister tough luck lol... All my friends including myself are more interested in hijabi girls. And how would you not know them if you won't look at them, and how else would you find your spouse among hijabi girls if you won't look at them. And I agree, guys should not look at them like they will pierce through their hijabs.

No matter how modest the hijab a person wear, girls look more attractive and much cuter and more long term prospectivie...

So worry not... Now I won't call my friends and myself a hijab fetish, but really hijab attracts all the Shia men I know and they won't even consider a non hijabi girl for marriage....

[WhiteSkies]

Lol, ya right!!!!

Ya Allah (aj), save us from the cunning of the women of Iran!!!!

I hope this is a joke. :dry:

[ImAli]

If you are getting attention and wearing hijab correctly don't let it bother you so much. You can't control the behavior of men or blame yourself for it. Some men will follow anything. One day I was walking with a double stroller (two kids in it), had a black abaya and black foulard on, and no makeup. This stupid pulled in front of me and asked if I am N****'s sister and I said sorry no, then he said OK I will leave so no one will see me talking with you. I didn't think anything of it until he came back and asked my name...........I didn't answer and crossed the street. He tried it once more on the other side and I crossed again without answering. After that he circled the block 5 times so I stopped and started talking to some old people who were outside. He decided to stop after that........now when I go walking I bring a friend.

[slave.ofAllah]

I've noticed that when I sincerely lower my gaze, I wouldn't even know if somebody is looking/staring or even noticing me. I may have even walked past some females I know from class etc without even noticing them. lol is this a bit too extreme?

[ImAli]

I've noticed that when I sincerely lower my gaze, I wouldn't even know if somebody is looking/staring or even noticing me. I may have even walked past some females I know from class etc without even noticing them. lol is this a bit too extreme?

In my opinion it depends where you are.....some places it is safe to do this and in other areas of the world you need to be very aware of your surroundings and notice everyone and everything (even on a college campus).

[syeda123]

If you are getting attention and wearing hijab correctly don't let it bother you so much. You can't control the behavior of men or blame yourself for it. Some men will follow anything. One day I was walking with a double stroller (two kids in it), had a black abaya and black foulard on, and no makeup. This stupid pulled in front of me and asked if I am N****'s sister and I said sorry no, then he said OK I will leave so no one will see me talking with you. I didn't think anything of it until he came back and asked my name...........I didn't answer and crossed the street. He tried it once more on the other side and I crossed again without answering. After that he circled the block 5 times so I stopped and started talking to some old people who were outside. He decided to stop after that........now when I go walking I bring a friend.

some men can be really silly and inconsiderate thats for sure.. :( the only thing you can do is just ignore it which can be effective but other times it doesn't do a thing.

[mouradf]

I think that there's nothing you can do. I mean it actually depends what u r wearing. Tight clothes w/ hijab dont go together. Massive make up w/ hijab too.

[Liggel]

On 8/8/2011 at 2:28 AM, syeda123 said:

hijab is supposed to cover you and protect you but sometimes I feel that its just making me stand out more? do any of you sister's feel this? if so, is there anything I can do to prevent it?

According to the rule, if a woman knows that she is so beautiful that she attracts attention from men even with hijab, and this causes men to fall into sin by looking at her, it becomes obligatory on her to cover her face. 

On 8/8/2011 at 3:17 PM, syeda123 said:

I can't help feeling that I'm causing other people to do haram, 1st glance is halal, second is haram :

Ruling 2453..... a woman can keep her face and hands up to the wrists uncovered from a non-maḥram man unless she fears that he would fall into sin or she has the intention of making him look at something unlawful; in these two cases, covering those areas as well is obligatory on her.

https://www.Sistani.org/english/book/48/2335/

[Lilly14]

6 hours ago, Liggel said:

According to the rule, if a woman knows that she is so beautiful that she attracts attention from men even with hijab, and this causes men to fall into sin by looking at her, it becomes obligatory on her to cover her face. 

Ruling 2453..... a woman can keep her face and hands up to the wrists uncovered from a non-maḥram man unless she fears that he would fall into sin or she has the intention of making him look at something unlawful; in these two cases, covering those areas as well is obligatory on her.

https://www.Sistani.org/english/book/48/2335/

All hijabi women have at least a few points in their hijab wearing life have been ogled or catcalled, even while wearing loose and long fitting clothes and no makeup.

This conclusion of yours would make Niqab wajib for all Shia women. And most of us by no means agree with your conclusion, nor is it practical in western countries, where even non-niqab hijab upsets some people and/or indangers us. 

Edited February 8, 2020 by Lilly14

[Liggel]

I only quoted a rule from Ayatollah Sistani, it is not my conclusion. 

[Lilly14]

Just now, Liggel said:

I only quoted a rule from Ayatollah Sistani, it is not my conclusion. 

I don't think that was his intention to insinuate all or almost all women need to wear niqab. 

[Liggel]

The rule is there for guidance; ultimately it would be upto the woman herself to conclude whether the rule applies on her or not; whether niqab is compulsory or not. This doesn't exonerate the men in any case.