If Your Wife Told You To Shut Up

[Jay]

Simple question in a hypothetical situation.

Edited July 25, 2011 by Jay

[Çåá ÇáÈíÊ]

Not a simple answer, though. Once we know the why, when, how, where (the scenario, context) ... Then we can give you a personal opinion, inshallah.

[faith200]

Simple question.

divorce is very makrooh by Allah (SWT) and for something that simple to get a divorce then the person is very immature, no one is perfect and we all have flaws and mistake, we should forgive, isnt Allah (SWT) forgiving? then why cant we be forgiving?

Edited July 25, 2011 by faith200

[Shia_Debater]

I would reply only if you shut up also

:lol:

[Jay]

Not a simple answer, though. Once we know the why, when, how, where (the scenario, context) ... Then we can give you a personal opinion, inshallah.

In any given situation in which the wife tells her husband to shut up. Remember the wife's akhlaq toward you, how much she respects you, etc. Would you be willing to live with a woman who has the capability to tell you to shut up? You know your limits-- you know exactly what you are able to do to your wife. If truly you are a mu'min, you wouldn't do anything so bad that your wife must tell you to shut up. Don't assume the situation is because you said something so bad that it's required on her to shut you up. It's a situation where your wife would deliberately tell you to shut up, ignoring her respect toward you and akhlaq. Could you take it?

There is no scenario; the question isn't asking you in a scenario. It's asking if it were to happen in any given scenario, would you personally feel that she's not the woman you would live with? The real question is: would you live with a woman who has bad akhlaq?

[asharp]

On 7/24/2011 at 8:25 PM, Shia_Debater said:

I would reply only if you shut up also

:lol:

lol

[xstatik2]

On 7/24/2011 at 8:38 PM, Jay said:

In any given situation in which the wife tells her husband to shut up. Remember the wife's akhlaq toward you, how much she respects you, etc. Would you be willing to live with a woman who has the capability to tell you to shut up? You know your limits-- you know exactly what you are able to do to your wife. If truly you are a mu'min, you wouldn't do anything so bad that your wife must tell you to shut up. Don't assume the situation is because you said something so bad that it's required on her to shut you up. It's a situation where your wife would deliberately tell you to shut up, ignoring her respect toward you and akhlaq. Could you take it?

There is no scenario; the question isn't asking you in a scenario. It's asking if it were to happen in any given scenario, would you personally feel that she's not the woman you would live with? The real question is: would you live with a woman who has bad akhlaq?

You going to live a'la Sunnah keep it up :))))))))))))))))))))))))) On a more serious note though ....

a. If you and your wife had the akhlaq (assuming is part of the past tense) which I am sure Al'hamdulillah almost 100% of the Shia's are full of it ..... then there isn't going to be a situation where she's going to ask you to .. "shut up" cause those words are not going to be a part of the vocabulary the two of you would use during communication.

b. Also, if your'e living in the West you would know that "shut up" is a common term used for various circumstances - as a joke, as a pun .... and so on.

And the answer to your question is - NO.

[Awaiting_for_the12th]

lol divorce on a simple shut up? grow some tolerance.

[Jay]

On 7/24/2011 at 9:10 PM, xstatik2 said:

You going to live a'la Sunnah keep it up :))))))))))))))))))))))))) On a more serious note though ....

a. If you and your wife had the akhlaq (assuming is part of the past tense) which I am sure Al'hamdulillah almost 100% of the Shia's are full of it ..... then there isn't going to be a situation where she's going to ask you to .. "shut up" cause those words are not going to be a part of the vocabulary the two of you would use during communication.

b. Also, if your'e living in the West you would know that "shut up" is a common term used for various circumstances - as a joke, as a pun .... and so on.

And the answer to your question is - NO.

To your part a: I agree, it wouldn't happen to believing Shi'is. But keep in mind it's hypothetical.

As for part b: Again, what you say is true. But take it as an insult, not as a joke. Understand it as poor akhlaq, not simple joking. If it helps, imagine the situation in your native language, especially Arabic, where "shut up" (ismut, ikhrus, or if you're Iraqi, incheb) has "disrespect" written all over it.

On 7/24/2011 at 9:12 PM, rballer said:

lol divorce on a simple shut up? grow some tolerance.

Well, it might be a simple "shut up" if it came out of someone else's mouth, but it's your wife. If she has this kind of disrespect toward you, imagine what other things she's capable of?

[AG15]

No, divorice would seem insensible.....

[Awaiting_for_the12th]

Well, it might be a simple "shut up" if it came out of someone else's mouth, but it's your wife. If she has this kind of disrespect toward you, imagine what other things she's capable of?

if you going to divorce your wife on a simple shutup, image what you are capable of if she does something worse, like not cook for you. Tone down some of the jahalat of old arab traditions. In anger, things are said which might be wrong but doesnt mean you take it to extremism. Talibans beat their wives, and you will divorce them. Awful mentality

Edited July 25, 2011 by rballer

[Fink]

16:61. And if Allah were to seize mankind for their wrong-doing, He would not leave on it (the earth) a single moving (living) creature, but He postpones them for an appointed term and when their term comes, neither can they delay nor can they advance it an hour (or a moment).

[xstatik2]

On 7/24/2011 at 9:17 PM, Jay said:

imagine what other things she's capable of?

Worry not for God is Great

[Jay]

if you going to divorce your wife on a simple shutup, image what you are capable of if she does something worse, like not cook for you. Tone down some of the jahalat of old arab traditions. In anger, things are said which might be wrong but doesnt mean you take it to extremism. Talibans beat their wives, and you will divorce them. Awful mentality

I've already explained that it's not out of anger, but bad akhlaq. It's not a good mix when a girl who has bad akhlaq marries a believing boy. It simply won't work. Tolerating it would mean you would have to take insults and nasty comments. It might even get to the point where the wife becomes lazy and ignores her duties. What could you do? Confront her? She can simply tell you to shut up. What then? Would you make the food? Would you resort to violence?

That simple "shut up" created a field where the wife could take control of you. She has nothing to lose, knowing you won't retaliate. She can use your Iman against you.

Salafis are mindless idiots. Don't bring them into this conversation.

[The Canuck]

(salam)

No, silly question. Sometimes I may deserve to be told to shut up

[Bonafide Hustler]

Automatic divorce, how dare she? How did she reach that point anyway? There must be serious underlining issues that only have to do with her and her collection of feminism magazines, she has gots to go, It is simply unacceptable, and totally embarrassing, imagine the look on your childrens faces, god that would be embarrassing.

[89jghur32]

I'm pretty sure my wife will say that to me many times, considering how much I'll make fun of her.

[~Zee Zee~]

Automatic divorce, how dare she? How did she reach that point anyway? There must be serious underlining issues that only have to do with her and her collection of feminism magazines, she has gots to go, It is simply unacceptable, and totally embarrassing, imagine the look on your childrens faces, god that would be embarrassing.

LOL :lol:

[Ya Aba 3abdillah]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FgMLROTqJ0

[asharp]

No one would be left married if everyone divorced over a shut up. You guys should talk to eachother with respect and no matter how angry one gets degrading words like that should be forbidden. Only then will you both have respect for eachother

[Fiasco]

Man, there's probably a billion women that wouldn't mind getting slapped by Sean Connery.

In fact, I wouldn't mind neither. I mean, how many people can say they've been slapped by Sean Connery?

[Ya Aba 3abdillah]

^ and everyone that's replied to the video seems to think the same

4,247 likes, 201 dislikes (comments are hilarious) :lol:

[Fiasco]

^ and everyone that's replied to the video seems to think the same

4,247 likes, 201 dislikes (comments are hilarious) :lol:

LOL.

"Yea...I haven't changed my opinion."

Only a guy like Sean Connery can get away with saying that.

[Maryaam]

if you going to divorce your wife on a simple shutup, image what you are capable of if she does something worse, like not cook for you. Tone down some of the jahalat of old arab traditions. In anger, things are said which might be wrong but doesnt mean you take it to extremism. Talibans beat their wives, and you will divorce them. Awful mentality

Just for the record, wives do not have to cook for their husbands :angel: ; it's a bonus :wub:

A woman who respects her husband is not going to tell him to shut up; but what if he is not deserving of respect because of his actions or his words? She should still treat him respectfully, as respecting him is to respect herself and their marriage. That is what he should point out - take it out of the personal realm and look at it in a broader perspective.

However, if divorce is the first thing that is thought of due to angry words, we (men and women) would not have much of a commitment to the marriage. If it is that shaky - maybe divorce is a something that needs to be considered. He may be just looking for an excuse.

[baradar_jackson]

Answer to poll question: No

Bonus answer: My reply to her would be "Yes maam"

[habib e najjaar]

"أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ زَوجَةٍ تُشَيِّبُنِي قَبْلَ أَوانِ مَشِيبِي."

“Oh Allah! I take refuge in you from a wife who makes me old before my old age reaches me.” ~Wasail al‑Shia, vol. 14, p 22.

It is narrated from the Prophet ((صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم)) that excessive talking is one of the things which makes the body sick.

From Sirat e sulook: One day Hadhrat Ustaad (qas) said in the gathering of the class:

One of our friends would say: “In one of my spiritual observances, I had an inner vision (mukaashafa) that I came before the presence of the Greatest Messenger of Allah (s), and sought a recital of Divine remembrance (dhikr) from him. He said: “I give you the dhikr of silence”

From Imam Sadiq (as): The three pieces of advice to do with clemency are – firstly if someone were to say to you: “If you dare say a word, I’ll give you ten back”, then you should be such as to reply: “Even if you say ten words, you will not hear a single one back from me’. Secondly, when someone insults you, say: “If you are right in what you are saying, then may Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) forgive me for it, and if you are wrong then may He forgive you for it”. And thirdly, when someone treats you harshly, return it with good counsel and pray for Him.

So always remember, Speech is silver, Silence Golden. -_-

(salam)

[Ya Aba 3abdillah]

On 7/25/2011 at 7:10 AM, Candela said:

I voted yes, but I would like to add a few details also:

I think in a situation like this I would do the follwoing (In order): first [EDIT] her. I think.

But this is from a woman's perspective, so maybe it doesn't count. Hm.

:huh:

Please kindly make your way to --> http://www.helpguide..._counseling.htm

Salman Rushdie was raped, and look what it did to him. Please don't allow the same to happen to you. The consequences of evil men like his rapist, only serve to breed more evil.

Edited March 12, 2020 by Hameedeh
[EDIT] Violence that was inappropriate was removed from the quote.

[Iman]

It all depends, 'hypothetically', is the "shut up" like :

OR

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuu1vPtnBYw

OR

And more importantly, is your reaction like Weasley or Porky Pig? :unsure:

To your part a: I agree, it wouldn't happen to believing Shi'is. But keep in mind it's hypothetical.

As for part b: Again, what you say is true. But take it as an insult, not as a joke. Understand it as poor akhlaq, not simple joking. If it helps, imagine the situation in your native language, especially Arabic, where "shut up" (ismut, ikhrus, or if you're Iraqi, incheb) has "disrespect" written all over it.

Well, it might be a simple "shut up" if it came out of someone else's mouth, but it's your wife. If she has this kind of disrespect toward you, imagine what other things she's capable of?

Really?? Wow. Hypothetically ...... lighten-up!!

I've already explained that it's not out of anger, but bad akhlaq. It's not a good mix when a girl who has bad akhlaq marries a believing boy. It simply won't work. Tolerating it would mean you would have to take insults and nasty comments. It might even get to the point where the wife becomes lazy and ignores her duties. What could you do? Confront her? She can simply tell you to shut up. What then? Would you make the food? Would you resort to violence?

That simple "shut up" created a field where the wife could take control of you. She has nothing to lose, knowing you won't retaliate. She can use your Iman against you.

:lol: :lol: :lol: .... :cry: ... I know I shouldnt laugh (and as a consequence cry!) but you're being so dramatic!! It's hilarious!! One thing does NOT necessarily lead to the next Jay. That kind of attitude will not get you very far in marriage. If you dont like something that your wife/partner is doing - tell them. If she says "shut up" constantly, tell her you dont like it and how it makes you feel. Yes! talk about how you feel! Jumping straight to divorce says a lot about someone's emotional maturity.. and really, a question mark over whether or not the person was ready for marriage to begin with ;)

No, silly question. Sometimes I may deserve to be told to shut up :dry:

Well said, and it goes both ways.

[Psychopath]

Meh. I couldn't be with a woman who cannot tell me to shut up.

[Candela]

Meh. I couldn't be with a woman who cannot tell me to shut up.

Haha best answer!

*hands the award for the best answer in the category of: how to respond to yet another moronic thread on SC with less than 3 sentences"

[Ya Aba 3abdillah]

Meh. I couldn't be with a woman who cannot tell me to shut up.

:lol:

Ruport Murdoch agrees. He married a Crouching Tiger .. Hidden Dragon.

The only women that can outclass her, would have to be Iranians. They're the men of the house hold.

[Psychopath]

:lol:

Ruport Murdoch agrees. He married a Crouching Tiger .. Hidden Dragon.

The only women that can outclass her, would have to be Iranians. They're the men of the house hold.

Please don't compare me to that piece of filth!

[Candela]

The only women that can outclass her, would have to be Iranians. They're the men of the house hold.

Do I sense some jealousy from the Admin? ^_^

IRAAAAN!

Edited July 25, 2011 by Candela

[Maula Dha Mallang]

there would only be one course of action

[Ya Aba 3abdillah]

Do I sense some jealousy from the Admin? ^_^

IRAAAAN!

LOL why should i not be suprised :lol:

You remind me of a certain epic member that used to be here :Hijabi:

there would only be one course of action

dudeee, you forgot the line that came with that pic, why'd u leave out the line?!?!?!?!?!?!