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In the Name of God بسم الله
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Maula Dha Mallang

Mdm Vs Mr Elephant Tusk

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here is the short video adaption of the story of hazrat wahab nasrani (qalbi) if anyone is interested, well worth a watch

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GdNuNwMjAU

(salam)

Thank you, but you are exaggerating. I don't think I did justice to the previous challenge, it didn't turn out the way I wanted it to or imagined it to.

Hmm this is also a difficult one, I know what I want to do with it but I'll have to put a lot more thought into the way I want to structure it.

(wasalam)

lol...ok im over exaggerating. keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better, just dont stop writing poetry!

I am MR. ELEPHANT TUSK THIS IS MY NEW ACCOUNT!!! I need a challenge ppl..... :dry:

lol...how about a young blood tryin to make a name for himself by going up against the #1....?

This is my last contribution for now, am busy for a few weeks, if the thread and i are still alive then inshallah maybe i can join back in.

Ignorant sunni with good intentions

damn, are you sure theres nothing i can say/ do to keep you involved? love what you done so far man it will be a shame to lose you, even if it is only for a few weeks

BTW ejihadists?

lol...people who over compensate for their insignificant little lives by acting like men on a mission online fighting some cause or another

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ejihadist

I am ready to go

Full blown u know

This is it, all out war

Im on a mission, close the door

Hate it when sister doesn't knock

Can't she see, I'm bout to rock

Geared up for onslaught

Start it up, plug in the port

Buzzing inside, for Allah

I have to do this, bala bala

Itch to begin the firing

5am? No i'm not tiring

Finally, its loaded

Waited for ages, almost exploded

Move over to the trigger

Deep breathe.. Linger

BOOM, Lets go JIHAD!!!!

Enter the room, i'm bad

Christian_boy101: Oh its you.

Shia_soldier_prince: Ima gna own you

This is my battle

Forget the cattle

Forget the drone

Im in the zone

All alone

-DISCONNECTED-

I feel despair, that was my moment

How could you mum.. go and lament

Hear footsteps, here it comes

ALI, SLEEP RIGHT NOW!

Dam, my plans gone POW

Its okay tommorow is a new day

Bright and early, is the way..

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I was trying to hint that I'm bored of the same theme. mad.gif

ok ok i get the hint. so your next challenge is about children.......lol only messing :P

A childs mature thoughts

Wordlessly she allows the child to lead her

Soon she finds herself shoulder to shoulder

Sychronised to perfect timing

Her heart is finally smiling

Separate yet one

A feeling never known

Tears from a decade

Well up as she prayed

A few moments of acceptance

As they acknowledge her presence

She catches the eye of her child

Bearing the smile of one satisfied

i think this was my favourite part, we all probably at one point have felt like outsiders in a place where we should have felt welcomed. the way you showed the switching of roles between the mother and child was masterful, how we would expect one to be reassuring the other but it was turned on its head. great stuff. i can really feel the insecurities and gratitude of the parent towards the child towards the end of the poem. simply beautiful. its a great rhyme structure as well, you are really getting into the swing of things mash'Allah!

A prayer for this child if you please

To keep her soul always at ease

may the blessings of our maula, who during his life would hear all the problems and stories and complaints of the children in the city he lived, and who would love them all with an endless heart, be with her always, watching over her, at her call when she calls him, protecting her, hearing the words of her heart and may she, in turn, grow in love towards him and the other 14 masumeen and fulfill all the potential she is displaying already. AMEEN.

Muskaan - your next challenge: lazy summer nights man B)

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ejihadist

LOL :!!!: great stuff!!!!

i like your sense of humour, heres another challenge:

Kamran - your next challenge: brothers pretending to be pious in order to impress sisters who are pretending to be pious

good luck!

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@MDM No, this really is Mr. Elephant Tusk, and I DESTROYED SSS IF THE EDITED OUTS WERENT THERE..... :dry: ...... but heres a freestyle.....

Life's like Russian Roulette with a glock,

I never win the battles when I need to gain

Never feel the sorrow when I need the pain

Always dry when I need the rain,

You don't get it

I'm physically strong

But mentally sick,

It doesn't matter whether I'm in the highest point of life,

Or my greatest peril,

I wanna take the gun point it at my head and CLICK,

Give me life's clock so I can speed up the hour hand

It's like I'm drowning in the desert of life's sand

Like I said I'm mentally sick,

But I still know what's right

And down with the prophetical clique

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(salam)

MDM do you have any pending challenges? If not then - the thoughts and feelings of a youth being diagnosed with a mental health problem.

(wasalam)

no, i reckon i can do this one.

tick tick tock eyes on the clock

locked up in cell block just like livestock

count on guards to point and mock

psyciatrist claims i a psycho need hydro shock

can write a horror story just like hitchcok

experiences screw my mind like a mental roadblock

cancel the shrink defrock the head doc

i fourteen years gettin analysed by Dr simcok

guy dont know sh!t quote his qualifications like a peacock

im just a kid quit callin me pysco stock

prank gone wrong to get out of the dock

claimin insanity on trial for theft got me in legal headlock

whaddya think?

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@MDM No, this really is Mr. Elephant Tusk, and I DESTROYED SSS IF THE EDITED OUTS WERENT THERE..... :dry: ...... but heres a freestyle.....

Life's like Russian Roulette with a glock,

I never win the battles when I need to gain

Never feel the sorrow when I need the pain

Always dry when I need the rain,

You don't get it

I'm physically strong

But mentally sick,

It doesn't matter whether I'm in the highest point of life,

Or my greatest peril,

I wanna take the gun point it at my head and CLICK,

Give me life's clock so I can speed up the hour hand

It's like I'm drowning in the desert of life's sand

Like I said I'm mentally sick,

But I still know what's right

And down with the prophetical clique

good stuff, i see where you are strongest now.

AG15 - your next challenge: protestors thinkin theyre changing the world by protesting when really they arent achieving jack

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You go outside

And yell for 3 hours,

But your not doing [Edited Out]

To the current powers,

And as time slowly passes

You need to realize that you're

Just hurting the masses,

Walking slowly while they hit you

With gases,

Various forms of slavery,

One mentally

And the other with hard labor and chains,

But this [Edited Out] is all fixed,

Government is the symbol of rain,

We need violence,

That's the only way to achieve your means, [< and that's true, look at Iran and Cuba. the 2 freest countries in the world, by that i mean they dont give a [Edited Out] about what America says]

That's why I have gun closet in my jeans,

Uprisings are happening everywhere,

But the rioters are letting it be regulated,

These fiends know where to keep

The influence concentrated,

If they want to feed off others prosperity,

Straight get that [Edited Out] confiscated...

Edited by AG15

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Muskaan - your next challenge: lazy summer nights man B)

Lazy Summer Nights Man

Lazy summer nights man

No different from any other nights man

Sammich in his hand, watch him slouch

Bare signs of life on the couch

Woman hints, I love summer nights walks

Ooh yeah! don't forget to buy my smokes

Baba, baba take us to the fair

Sorry kids, ain't got change to spare

Finally enticed by his pals

He ventures out in grandpa chappals

Chewin paan drinkin coconut water

Eyein them kurris in bright attire

Crackin bones of his chicken tikka

Music blarin from his speakers

Lazy summer nights man

Sittin under the ceiling fan

Summers turnin into a pain

Gotto do this tomorrow again

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Lazy Summer Nights Man

love it :D

i actually made a typo, i should have said: "summer nights", man when i was setting it. let this be a lesson to use proper pronunciation marks! i love what you did tho. i found myself reading the poem in a slow lazy drawl of someone wasting their time on summer nights. great stuff! good rhyme structure, interesting content and perfect ending.

Muskaan - your next challenge: an ornithologist who is too eager to analyse the different species of birds, that he forgets to appreciate their beauty or hear them sing

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(salam)

My challenge is well overdue.

A Student

I sit here and I will watch

Count the teardrops I can catch

The ones you made fall

Just so you could try and stand tall

You force my eyes wide open

As you raise your weapon

Or you make a call

And I watch the body fall

Then out pours the blood

The heart faces one last thud

And this is your sick pleasure

The dead man and I’s torture

So how do I get out of here?

I have a desire to end the fear

All around me there’s innocent children

Let them taste Earth before Heaven

Two clear routes that I can take

Two clear faces that I can fake

One being the path of peace

I can choose to speak

The second being the path of war

Something their men would adore

Shall I find a way to raise a gun

Let it rain bullets under the burning Sun

Make them wish they were never born

Feeling like it’s night even though it’s morn

This is how they get power

How a sweet life turns sour

But then I am obliged to question

As there is a door I will open

Is this power actually real?

Or is it nothing they feel?

I see them as dirt

As we all hurt

So why would I go lower?

Why don’t I go higher?

They came in with their swords

They’ll leave with my words

Peace is a winner

To defeat the sinner

I am not someone they can change

I will not be in their bullet range

I am one who is oppressed

Under their rule I’ve become depressed

But I am not a student here

This tyranny is not my teacher

I will learn to stay strong

Not how to turn to the wrong

One last line, call me a preacher

Do not let your oppressor become your teacher.

I think I like it, I'm not sure. Feedback? Better than the last?

no, i reckon i can do this one.

tick tick tock eyes on the clock

locked up in cell block just like livestock

count on guards to point and mock

psyciatrist claims i a psycho need hydro shock

can write a horror story just like hitchcok

experiences screw my mind like a mental roadblock

cancel the shrink defrock the head doc

i fourteen years gettin analysed by Dr simcok

guy dont know sh!t quote his qualifications like a peacock

im just a kid quit callin me pysco stock

prank gone wrong to get out of the dock

claimin insanity on trial for theft got me in legal headlock

whaddya think?

Amazing. I love the way you captured the youth and the denial. There's a fine line between ignorance and denial which is difficult to portray well. But you've done it in a way where it's clear that it's denial that appears to be ignorance, he's demeaning the qualifications of the doctor, but not out of ignorance. Another outstanding piece mA.

MDM - The thought process of man with a desire to murder a 5 year old girl. A complete sicko.

(wasalam)

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(salam)

My challenge is well overdue.

A Student

another great piece of poetry mash'Allah. i get the feeling that you were a lot more comfortable writing this than you were for the last one, and its reflected in the flow of the words....or it could just be my imagination ;)

a lot of what you said is interestingly enough almost identical to the mindset of mo'azzam baig (for a non shia i actually quite like him). he too was faced with two clear paths, the path of war being the easier and most satisfying when he thought of revenge, but he chose the other, longer, harder path.

They came in with their swords

They’ll leave with my words

Peace is a winner

To defeat the sinner

i particularly enjoyed this part. my favourite type of poetry is the one that contains many layers of meaning depending upon who is reading it. your words become some sort of lyrical mirror into the readers mind. do they read that and think "the pen is mightier than the sword", do they think "its all metaphorical for hate and peace" and so on. personally i thought it was referring to peaceful conflict resolution (one of my areas), i.e. people come towards you for war, all you have is words to make them think and then repel them.

great stuff.

Comprehending - your next challenge: War orphans fending for themselves

MDM - The thought process of man with a desire to murder a 5 year old girl. A complete sicko.

I've worked with soldiers, one of whom raped a young iraqi girl to death. it was covered up in the media because it was around about the same time as the case in the US, but he told me everything in far too much detail. ill have a think about what i can share and what i cant, and use his experiences. i should knock something together after my lunch walk tho insha'Allah

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sorry for the delay, stupid work :angry:

the itch

oh god, oh god, what have i done

where do i hide, where do i run

what did i do, who do i tell

why have i booked my place in hell

oh god two tours in four years

mind snaps like a pencil under my fears

fear of death from attack from all sides

fear of opinions of reporters worldwide

sick of the dust sick of the death

sick of the life renewed with each breath

sound of the bombs driving me mad

british soldier im told, i ought to be glad

four years with not one woman to lay

mans got urges you know at the end of the day

moving black objects these ninja women outside

got no time for those letterboxes with their islamic pride

givin sweets to kids in front of cameras you see

i saw her try to act so innocently

i knew her game, flirtin with me

i knew the truth that she was so dirty

figured my boys had my back

the act seemed so simple, so white and so black

picked her up to do the deed

her screams started and didnt recede

now i wash and bathe maybe eight times a day

a bug in my mind it wont go away

i cant wash her blood or her tears from from my skin

i see her eyes and the terror within

court martialled now and raped in prison all the time

ill die in the nick because of my crime

suicide watch dont stop my nightmares or itch

what will this paki do, to make switch

ive cut out 90% of the details, but think you can get the picture from what i have included. dark stuff.

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In Gods Name

Apologies for a crime i have not comitted.

For the time imposed on me, i have to go.

I have to achieve skills in my areas.

Forget me not, for I am training.

Thanks for the dark stuff.

Peace

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AG15 - your next topic: the media using the scandal about phone tapping to cover up germany sending loads of tanks and weapons to saudi to prepare for Ian

Phone Tapping Covering Movement of Weapons

Arabs buying guns trying to threaten Iran,

Violated International Laws

And nobody speaks out because it's America's plan,

What the [Edited Out] happened to being a man

Tell them that you want to threaten their land

Tanks being shipped to

The people living in sand,

And the media covers this [Edited Out] up like

The government during the Roswell Crash,

They cover it up

Like the condition of their own white trash,

See, this is the reason why Iran's

Preparing for biological warfare

But don't worry they'll hold it down

Because the Lord's fair......(I got stuck....twice...)

I hope it as enjoyed :)

MDM now you have to talk about: Illuminati and Free-Masons

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(salam)

Comprehending - your next challenge: War orphans fending for themselves

Late.. but here it is.. haven't thought of a name

Where is my mother?

Why can’t I see her?

My father was already gone

And now I’m left alone

I can do this if I am strong

But what if I am wrong?

No one respects an orphan child

Treated like an animal from the wild

But still I will go looking

Find food to use for cooking

And still I search for shelter

To sleep a night better

I have strength they do not see

They are so sure I cannot be

But still I go further around

While my heart drags on the ground

What do you think?

And regarding your poem, it's very good, the choice of words are spot on as usual. But it's not one of your best, and here's some (perhaps) harsh constructive criticism.. it's almost as if it's written by a fake.. someone who's trying to force those feelings.. but maybe that's because this isn't the appropriate platform to explore a poem like this and my suggestion wasn't a very good one.

MDM - something a little sentimental... being forced to choose between a lover who has supported you and been there... and your family who haven't always been there but love you.

(wasalam)

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Phone Tapping Covering Movement of Weapons

fantastic as usual :) you seem to be most comfortable talking about political themes like this, i notice that your rhymes seem to flow a lot easier, is this the case? do you still want to continue the thread?

MDM now you have to talk about: Illuminati and Free-Masons

ok ill get onto it

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(salam)

Late.. but here it is.. haven't thought of a name

Where is my mother?

Why can’t I see her?

My father was already gone

And now I’m left alone

I can do this if I am strong

But what if I am wrong?

No one respects an orphan child

Treated like an animal from the wild

But still I will go looking

Find food to use for cooking

And still I search for shelter

To sleep a night better

I have strength they do not see

They are so sure I cannot be

But still I go further around

While my heart drags on the ground

What do you think?

the last time i went to france, i was near the eiffel tower at night time, and i noticed these two orphans, a little boy and girl. they were each playing the accordian on the pavement for donations, the little girl kept wanting to put the accordian down and go to sleep but the boy (her brother?) kept shouting at her to carry on.

your poem reminds me really strongly of that for some reason. its beautiful.

And regarding your poem, it's very good, the choice of words are spot on as usual. But it's not one of your best, and here's some (perhaps) harsh constructive criticism.. it's almost as if it's written by a fake.. someone who's trying to force those feelings.. but maybe that's because this isn't the appropriate platform to explore a poem like this and my suggestion wasn't a very good one.

you are right; the problem with doing what i do at the charity is that we act as a kind of an emotional sponge of sorts - we absorb the suffering of others so they can be free. there are so many details that i just didnt include but which affected me terribly; the poem is by no means my best but your suggestion was fine. the problem lies in my inability to transfer the things i heard onto others, so that acts as a kind of a block when im trying to write a poem about it. if i was better i could have used maybe a metaphor or something instead?

MDM - something a little sentimental... being forced to choose between a lover who has supported you and been there... and your family who haven't always been there but love you.

(wasalam)

:huh: lol ok ill try it out

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(salam)

:( that's really sad. Lol, when I was writing the poem I was thinking of my two weeks in Pakistan. Thank you :)

Hmm that's quite interesting. Practice helps, and although this is one weak point, your use of words and the construction of the poem is a very strong point.

Lol, everyone loves a challenge!

(wasalam)

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the founding fathers

the founding fathers fled from englands mock,

from valleys and hills to plymoth rock

fought brave and true for the rights of man,

to stand independent of the bankers plan

true words freemasons they were,

but do not let this information deter

illuminati is a joke to keep us weak

false flag info make a loud man meek

they fought the bankers and almost won

before the fed reserve began to run

now the US is screwed cant pay its bills

bankrupt from new york to beverly hills

dont call the bankers jews man thats a lie

they no more jewish than you or I

they not religious their god is money

crave it more than a bee craves honey

[Edited Out] read a book educate yourself

leave your conspiracy theories on the shelf

the truth is there for those who wish to see

who study and reseearch their info diligently

they got a plan and the plan involves us

one world fascist state not scared to posess

our homes to our souls and all between

we place our trust in the fourteen

dont be suckered in by the NWO lies

follow the world money and all its ties

research economic hitmen and the WTC

controlled demolition cant you see?

now i think about it and remember back

without 9/11 there couldnt be a war in Iraq

they playin chess on a global scale

with us kept ignorant they cannot fail

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(salam)

The Gates

Thinking back a small two months ago

when I was engulfed in nothing but sorrow

wondering how I could ever survive

knowing there was never hope I could revive.

Thought ahead to this period of time

thinking fasting with another self-crime

and letting that feed my desire

to fulfil what is required.

Time has passed and now I’m here

and to my surprise I can feel this atmosphere

and I remember what I had forgotten

that in this month, open are the gates to heaven.

So I stand with a stomach that’s empty

and I walk with a heart that isn’t heavy

and I realise that I am actually blessed

and in my next life I will invest.

(wasalam)

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lol comprending man, wtf is that challenge all about!

heres my effort, i thought i would add a bit of drama ;)

remembering honour

its been seven years with you by my side, calls and texts from far and wide

met online, msn day and night, i asked you out so you said all right

i watched the hope grow in your eyes as i lied that i love you

too weak to end it not one word was true

i stood as you bared your soul and opened your heart

you poured your cup of love into me i drunk every part

but my dear im sorry it must end, my parents are strict i must not offend

you have been a great friend and lover to me

but im gonna let you go find someone else to love you honestly

see it was all a joke to pass the time, hope you dont mind

but my parents are ill so another man you must find

please stop crying and acting embarrasingly

what is wrong with you dear, im letting you be free

stop whining i must remember my dads honour

we can be together no more not even one hour

so this is goodbye, delete my number and texts

if we never speak again it would probably be best

ive got a cousin i have to marry back home

will you bless our marriage, and allow me to atone?

comprehending - your next challenge: the poem i just wrote, but from the girls perspective ;)

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The Gates

this really puts me in the mood for ramadhan :)

i know it was a hard subject, i like the way you started it with something negative but your perspective changes to embrace it towards the end. indeed in this month you are blessed!

how do you feel towards it?

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(salam)

Everyone loves a challenge! Aside from me, no idea how I'm going to do this one. :lol:

AG15: Watching a young girl trying to sell small flowers for a living on the streets.

I feel like it comes across as pretty fake which takes a lot away from it.

In response to your challenge:

What about you?

The way his words flowed out like a potion

Had my whole world moving in slow motion

Never felt any darkness when he was my light

Held me in his virtual arms every single night

The way he always chose the perfect moment

For the 'I love you' he typed and sent

Every call, his voice made my heart melt

Nothing could ever beat the way I felt

It was the kiss at the end of every text

Anticipating which perfect line he'd give next

And it was the softness in his warm laugh

All alone we were but each other's half

Seven years on he broke my heart

Mercilessly ripped my whole life apart

He stole my capability to ever love

I swear I thought he was sent from above

I swear I thought he was my knight in shining armor

But today he's spouting bull[Edited Out] about his father's honor

So now I'll have to ask what about you?

Doesn't your honor matter to you?

It seems now you're done playing with me, a toy

And you call yourself a man? Haha, little boy.

You go, get married, go somewhere far away..

But my heart, with you will always stay.

MDM: Feelings of a Muslim father [relatively strict] finding out his son has had a relationship before marriage..

(wasalam)

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