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In the Name of God بسم الله

What Is Your Opinion On Love Marriages?

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there are different levels of love, and to those point dexters out there, its got nothing to do with lust, lust and attraction is a later part of love... Love bef marriage is when you meet someone, a

Yet again, this thread has turned ugly. Love doesn't come before marriage. What comes before marriage are feelings of attachment and affection. True love comes after marriage. Imam al-Sadiq (as) said

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By "love marriage" i suppose you mean when you marry someone based on love rather than a traditional arranged marriage where the parents (typically) choose a spouse for their children if they are happy with it.

I personally believe that love marriages only work if there is Allah and Islam in front of you. Without Allah or following Islam they will break very easily. Also, statistically, love marriages don't last as long as traditional marriages. Keep in mind that your parents need to be satisfied with your spouse selection (generally speaking) if you want your marriage to last forever. So love marriages work if you truly love her for the sake of Allah (and not love her for the sake of beauty or sexuality) and you both put Islam before everything, and your parents are happy with your choice. If any of these three are not carefully considered then don't expect love marriage to lost very long

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By "love marriage" i suppose you mean when you marry someone based on love rather than a traditional arranged marriage where the parents (typically) choose a spouse for their children if they are happy with it.

I personally believe that love marriages only work if there is Allah and Islam in front of you. Without Allah or following Islam they will break very easily. Also, statistically, love marriages don't last as long as traditional marriages. Keep in mind that your parents need to be satisfied with your spouse selection (generally speaking) if you want your marriage to last forever. So love marriages work if you truly love her for the sake of Allah (and not love her for the sake of beauty or sexuality) and you both put Islam before everything, and your parents are happy with your choice. If any of these three are not carefully considered then don't expect love marriage to lost very long

Hehehehe!!

Umm... thats not true

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So love marriages work if you truly love her for the sake of Allah (and not love her for the sake of beauty or sexuality) and you both put Islam before everything, and your parents are happy with your choice. If any of these three are not carefully considered then don't expect love marriage to lost very long

Agreed, however, parents do not always know whats best in all situations. The story of romeo and juliet is just literature, but it also occurs in real life.

Otherwise i would say, all marriages should have some aspect of love. If parents arrange a marriage, but there is no love. Then the marriage isnt true marriage, but rather is just 2 people who live together.

Love is a necessity.

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salam..

according to me love marriage is not allowed in shariah cuz love marriage occurs only when u put an eye on non mahram which is haram in case of admiration of beauty and etc which usually occurs between lovers..

love marriage is haram cuzthis relationship started with haram act and thats why it nevr last long...!!

always go for an arranged one because after Allah ur parents are the one who can decide all good and bad for u..

thanks..

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Salam,

I studying about history of Islam. I think Imam Sadiq had love marriage with Hamidah Khatun at least. So anyone can't oppose it. If I'm wrong, please enlighten me.

Can you please provide a source, and elaborate on what you percieve a love marriage to be?

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My preference goes for arranged marriages...my mothers choice is the best choice. After all she will be spending most of her time with my mother while I am at work. If she can't get along with my mother it will be a trouble. We can have love marriage but if problem occurs later than love could turn into hate.

Edited by maniaac
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What if you meet someone who is non-practising but born shia, and you are not really religious yourself (strictly speaking born into a sunni family but they don't practice or respect religion), and over time you fall in love and both return to your religion and want to marry?

so, because its not an arranged marriage, and the way you met may have been haram, you have to forsake the love of your life and have an arranged marriage?

hmmmm. doesn't make sense to me..

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It's a subjective experience, different for different people. There is no need to standardize into a system that would work for all. Some people don't have 'someone special' in mind so they'd go for so-called arranged marriage. On the other hand, many times in life you happen to come across someone you get to respect and like, and it develops into a desire to have a life with them. Nothing wrong with this and no reason to bring halal-haram equation into this.

I find the deep running assumptions of people for or against both types of marriages laughable.

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Whats a love marriage?

Are not all marriages based on love?

Sorry, what i mean by love marriage is, somebody you know, (whether it be your neighbour, colleague, fellow student at uni etc) who you think would be a suitable spouse, somebody you've connected with. Not the whole 'boyfriend and girlfriend' type of love marriage

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Whats a love marriage?

Are not all marriages based on love?

nope not in our cuture! and there is no such thing as love. well maybe there is something there for a while but eventually ends and then u just learn to live with eachother

Edited by Shehar Bano
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nope not in our cuture! and there is no such thing as love. well maybe there is something there for a while but eventually ends and then u just learn to live with eachother

what culture are you referring to? there is a big difference between "nope not in our culture.... u just learn to live with each other" and the natural way any relationship goes when two people become familiar with each other over the years. "passion" may come to an end, but love doesn't.. does it?

i hope not. or maybe i'm just a hopeless romantic!

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what culture are you referring to? there is a big difference between "nope not in our culture.... u just learn to live with each other" and the natural way any relationship goes when two people become familiar with each other over the years. "passion" may come to an end, but love doesn't.. does it?

i hope not. or maybe i'm just a hopeless romantic!

Yea i agree, there is without a doubt, an aspect of love involved assuming you base your marriage on that love. Otherwise u may as well live with a brother or sister.

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i am talking about pakistani culture where majority of the marriags are arranged. i have seen many women suffer and live a horrible life because they dont want to get divorced and bring shame to the family. even tho Islam gives women every right to divorce , the culture wont let them. many many of the marriages there are just compromises and not love.

Edited by Shehar Bano
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i am talking about pakistani culture where majority of the marriags are arranged. i have seen many women suffer and live a horrible life because they dont want to get divorced and bring shame to the family. even tho Islam gives women every right to divorce , the culture wont let them. many many of the marriages there are just compromises and not love.

Well, just because you believe these marriages are in the majority compromises rather than love, doesnt mean that love marriages do not exist.. In my culture, most people try to base their marriages on love, some base it on lust and i imagine some base it on compromise as well, but love i would say, definetely exists.

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i do think love exists but however it doesnt last forver. i dont believe in soulmates and [Edited Out] like this. i dont belive in marriages or matches are made in heaven either. and i have lived in usa my entire ilfe so i know and understand this culture as well and would still wont view "love" differently

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i do think love exists but however it doesnt last forver. i dont believe in soulmates and [Edited Out] like this. i dont belive in marriages or matches are made in heaven either. and i have lived in usa my entire ilfe so i know and understand this culture as well and would still wont view "love" differently

haha, alright, fair enough

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(salam)

Imam Jafar as-Sadiq (as) states "Do not marry the one you love, love the one you marry".

Well the thing is, you can marry someone, and be in a position where you cant love them because you never took the time to love them before marriage. But if you marry the person you love, then you know that it is possible to love the person you marry.

So, even for Imam Jafar as-Sadiq, it would be logically more wise to love someone before u marry them, or atleast understand that you can love them.

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By "love marriage" i suppose you mean when you marry someone based on love rather than a traditional arranged marriage where the parents (typically) choose a spouse for their children if they are happy with it.

I personally believe that love marriages only work if there is Allah and Islam in front of you. Without Allah or following Islam they will break very easily. Also, statistically, love marriages don't last as long as traditional marriages. Keep in mind that your parents need to be satisfied with your spouse selection (generally speaking) if you want your marriage to last forever. So love marriages work if you truly love her for the sake of Allah (and not love her for the sake of beauty or sexuality) and you both put Islam before everything, and your parents are happy with your choice. If any of these three are not carefully considered then don't expect love marriage to lost very long

Salam

So what does a person do if the parents will never allow them to marry a Muslim..and especially one who isnt as rich as they are?

On the other hand, the boys side also has a problem because the girl has been brought up in a nonMuslim, nonAhlulkitaab manner..and doesnt have pure blood (Religious Syed family)..

BUT-both of them want to get married for the sake of Allah..and although they were initially in a haram manner (before the girl was even Muslim), today they both are practicing Muslims Alhumdulillah...

Is it fair to say that a marriage like this (not blessed by either parents) cannot last?

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Salam

So what does a person do if the parents will never allow them to marry a Muslim..and especially one who isnt as rich as they are?

On the other hand, the boys side also has a problem because the girl has been brought up in a nonMuslim, nonAhlulkitaab manner..and doesnt have pure blood (Religious Syed family)..

BUT-both of them want to get married for the sake of Allah..and although they were initially in a haram manner (before the girl was even Muslim), today they both are practicing Muslims Alhumdulillah...

Is it fair to say that a marriage like this (not blessed by either parents) cannot last?

alhamdulillah.. this is the point i am trying to make... even if it is blessed by the parents, a relationship founded like this is doomed to fail or fantasy according to the majority of posters on this topic. i don't agree. as long as the marriage is halal and you live islamically after islam has been secured as your religion, i have no idea why this kind of union wouldn't last.

there is a big confusion between whether love marriages work/last according to culture and/or religion. these are two seperate things. as are LOVE and LUST. a marriage based on physical attraction, no, there may be issues. but love is very different.

Imam Ali (as) makes a very valid point in saying don't marry the one you love, love the one you marry. but i do not believe that if there is someone you love (and all is halal) that you should not marry them, as marriages based on mutual love AND respect and not just compromise (although compromise is very important) CAN last. in my humble opinion :P

fi aman illah

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I really don't know everyone has a different situation. I guess it works for some and it doesn't work for others. Even some arranged marriages don't work if you think about it. The reason people are saying that love marriages don't work is because it is associated with western society, but if you go back 50 years in western society divorce was quite uncommon and even then most marriages were based on love. As for me, my husband and I only knew each other for like a week before we got married so there isn't any way we loved each other but we were great friends. After we married we had alot of problems but we worked through them and have learned how to deal with each other and I feel like I have known him my entire life and love him so much.

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I am not sure how true this is, but I read somewhere that the respected General-Secretary's marriage is a love marriage.

If that's the case, then nobody here has the right to speak out against love marriage itself; only those who abuse the concept and allow themselves to be carried away.

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