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Maryammm

Marriage

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Just wanted to know the reverts strories of marriage, whether you met your partner and reverted through their guidance, or whether you met them after your reversion. Would love to share our stories and help each other in our experiences inshallah!

So I will go first, I became Muslim about 10 years ago alhamdulillah. No too long ago, I was introduced to my husband by his mother and elder sister, whom I met at my local hussainiya. I had known his elder sister for quite a few years and then I met his mother at the hussainiya about the middle of last year alhamdulillah. I got on very well with her, and little did I know that she liked me so much that she considered me for being a possible wife for her son mashallah. For a few weeks she spoke to her husband and son about me and proposed the idea to them. After that they invited me for a family meal, I was unable to attend for the first invite but attended the secound alhamdulillah. I innocently thought that I had been invited just as a friend, not as a surprise meeting with their son lol, however during the meeting they made no suggestion of marriage and seeing as all the family was there it didn't feel like an 'introduction' A few days later I recieved a phone call from my now husband's sister who carefully broached the subject of whether I was interested in meeting her brother again, this time categorically for the purposes of discussing marriage. I agreed and soon met him again, omg I have never been so shy and nervous in my life! I tried just looking at and speaking to his sister and mum, but in the end his mum told me off and reminded me and him of the reason we were all there lol. We then carefully tried to speak to each other and ask questions lol. We have had many meetings since then and been in constant communication, and eventually e decided that we were right for each other. Alhamdulillah we had our aqid earlier this year and will have our walima later this summer inshallah! It has been amazing to be part of what some would call an 'arranged marriage' and have a very positive experience. It has been quite difficult to overcome certain cultural differences that we have, but alhamdulillah me, my husband and his family are all willing to try. My family however are not so open to the whole situation, although they vaguely knew that I would probably go about finding a husband this way, it has been tough for them to get used to, inshallah they will. Hope I havn't bored anyone with my story inshallah! ^_^ Salams and du3as inshallah!

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Thats the way its done...Thats the way its done.

We need stories like this to let ppl know that this method WORKS in this day and age and u dont have to date 1000000000000000000000000 before knowing the person is correct for u.

Good luck sister!

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Just wanted to know the reverts strories of marriage, whether you met your partner and reverted through their guidance, or whether you met them after your reversion. Would love to share our stories and help each other in our experiences inshallah!

So I will go first, I became Muslim about 10 years ago alhamdulillah. No too long ago, I was introduced to my husband by his mother and elder sister, whom I met at my local hussainiya. I had known his elder sister for quite a few years and then I met his mother at the hussainiya about the middle of last year alhamdulillah. I got on very well with her, and little did I know that she liked me so much that she considered me for being a possible wife for her son mashallah. For a few weeks she spoke to her husband and son about me and proposed the idea to them. After that they invited me for a family meal, I was unable to attend for the first invite but attended the secound alhamdulillah. I innocently thought that I had been invited just as a friend, not as a surprise meeting with their son lol, however during the meeting they made no suggestion of marriage and seeing as all the family was there it didn't feel like an 'introduction' A few days later I recieved a phone call from my now husband's sister who carefully broached the subject of whether I was interested in meeting her brother again, this time categorically for the purposes of discussing marriage. I agreed and soon met him again, omg I have never been so shy and nervous in my life! I tried just looking at and speaking to his sister and mum, but in the end his mum told me off and reminded me and him of the reason we were all there lol. We then carefully tried to speak to each other and ask questions lol. We have had many meetings since then and been in constant communication, and eventually e decided that we were right for each other. Alhamdulillah we had our aqid earlier this year and will have our walima later this summer inshallah! It has been amazing to be part of what some would call an 'arranged marriage' and have a very positive experience. It has been quite difficult to overcome certain cultural differences that we have, but alhamdulillah me, my husband and his family are all willing to try. My family however are not so open to the whole situation, although they vaguely knew that I would probably go about finding a husband this way, it has been tough for them to get used to, inshallah they will. Hope I havn't bored anyone with my story inshallah! ^_^ Salams and du3as inshallah!

(bismillah)

(salam)

I am not a revert myself and being a bachelor, I dont have my own marriage story to share but I just wanted to congratulate you and encourage you as your story has inspired me as I am sure it has and will inspire many others. It is really heartwarming to see that even in this postmodern age, there are Shias who go about getting married in a very "Islamic way" just as you and your husband have. It was really encouraging to learn that while you guys realize the reality of cultural differences, it does not keep you both from getting close to one another. I am a firm believer of the fact that if we are willing to abide by the "Way of Life" that the Ahlul Bayt have taught us and if we are willing to fully apply our religion in everything that we do, then all these issues like cultural-differences become a non-issue. I will pray for you and your husband that may you both continue to grow in Islam and may your family also warm up to you. Although, it is said that a true Momin should not be surprised, if he/she doesnt have very many friends. Anyhow.... I will pray for you and thank u so much for sharing ur story. Allahuma Salli Ala Muhammadin Wale Muhammad Wajjil Faraja>

(wasalam)

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Salam, thanks for all the lovely replies! I hope inshallah all the unmarried sisters and brothers go about finding a partner in a halal way inshallah, and that their marriages are happy and successful inshallah. I also hope that the married sisters and brothers achieve and sustain happy and blessed marriages as well, and may many beautiful muslim children arise from these marriages inshallah. I hope that I get some more replies to this thread with peoples stories too, whether it is a successful story or not, so that we can all benefit and learn from these experiences inshallah wa salli alaa muhammad wa alaa ahlul baytihit tayibeen at-tahireen.

Salams and du3as to all inshallah ^_^

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Salam, thanks for all the lovely replies! I hope inshallah all the unmarried sisters and brothers go about finding a partner in a halal way inshallah, and that their marriages are happy and successful inshallah. I also hope that the married sisters and brothers achieve and sustain happy and blessed marriages as well, and may many beautiful muslim children arise from these marriages inshallah. I hope that I get some more replies to this thread with peoples stories too, whether it is a successful story or not, so that we can all benefit and learn from these experiences inshallah wa salli alaa muhammad wa alaa ahlul baytihit tayibeen at-tahireen.

Salams and du3as to all inshallah ^_^

I am a revert for 3 going on 4 years now...i have been married for one year now alhamdiliah, met my husband after being a convert. We had met throu a set up between mutual friends- he was friends with my friends husband. On the first incident we had met at a majlis although not officialy, my friend just whispered thats him lol and then after a few weeks we were introduced at another social gathering of mutual friends. At this point in time muharram was creeping up so on the love of imam hussien I asked that he not get to know me until the 40 days was over as I didnt consider it to be a good social time to be meeting people. After the 40 days he gave me a call, and we officially spoke of marriage. My parents were not going for this type or way of marraige either, but alhamduliah they got use to it, and inshallah with time things are getting a lot better with my parents....

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I am a revert for 3 going on 4 years now...i have been married for one year now alhamdiliah, met my husband after being a convert. We had met throu a set up between mutual friends- he was friends with my friends husband. On the first incident we had met at a majlis although not officialy, my friend just whispered thats him lol and then after a few weeks we were introduced at another social gathering of mutual friends. At this point in time muharram was creeping up so on the love of imam hussien I asked that he not get to know me until the 40 days was over as I didnt consider it to be a good social time to be meeting people. After the 40 days he gave me a call, and we officially spoke of marriage. My parents were not going for this type or way of marraige either, but alhamduliah they got use to it, and inshallah with time things are getting a lot better with my parents....

Salam, thanks rajaa for sharing your story, it is lovely mashallah! I wish you and your husband all the best inshallah!

Salams and du3as inshallah ^_^

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MashAllah :)

You're right - thats the only way that works.

are you sure about this?

i met my husband to be (inshallah) as a naive 21 year old in a very haram atmosphere that i cringe at the thought of my stepping foot into a place like that. (i won't mention what kind of atmosphere it was, as i fear many on this forum will judge :(). i was living in a world of jahiliyah, i knew nothing, i was well and truly lost - my family life was a nightmare, i was living away from home at university etc. now you may wonder what my shia-born husband to be was doing in a place like that too? well, yes, he should have known better, but the temptations of western culture overcame him, none of us are infallible, and 3 years on he would never dream of entering an establishment like that. since then he has realised the error of his ways, and guided his and myself to the path in the most honourable way, suggesting i attend courses at mosques etc. from the moment i met him it was like click - i knew he was the one for me, i knew i wanted to marry him. so, 3 years later after learning about islam and choosing this as the path i will follow for the rest of my life inshallah, i am going to marry him.

the manner in which me met may not have been halal, but we all make mistakes. it is harder to find the true path once you have been tempted by the shaytan to indulge in western behaviours, so although i am saddened that we had to meet in such a way, i know there was a reason for it, that Allah swt had a reason to put us both in that situation. so you may judge, but i don't really care because only Allah swt can judge me truly, and only Allah swt knows my intentions. and if you could appreciate how hard it has been for me to find the light, then you wouldn't judge at all :P

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are you sure about this?

i met my husband to be (inshallah) as a naive 21 year old in a very haram atmosphere that i cringe at the thought of my stepping foot into a place like that. (i won't mention what kind of atmosphere it was, as i fear many on this forum will judge :(). i was living in a world of jahiliyah, i knew nothing, i was well and truly lost - my family life was a nightmare, i was living away from home at university etc. now you may wonder what my shia-born husband to be was doing in a place like that too? well, yes, he should have known better, but the temptations of western culture overcame him, none of us are infallible, and 3 years on he would never dream of entering an establishment like that. since then he has realised the error of his ways, and guided his and myself to the path in the most honourable way, suggesting i attend courses at mosques etc. from the moment i met him it was like click - i knew he was the one for me, i knew i wanted to marry him. so, 3 years later after learning about islam and choosing this as the path i will follow for the rest of my life inshallah, i am going to marry him.

the manner in which me met may not have been halal, but we all make mistakes. it is harder to find the true path once you have been tempted by the shaytan to indulge in western behaviours, so although i am saddened that we had to meet in such a way, i know there was a reason for it, that Allah swt had a reason to put us both in that situation. so you may judge, but i don't really care because only Allah swt can judge me truly, and only Allah swt knows my intentions. and if you could appreciate how hard it has been for me to find the light, then you wouldn't judge at all :P

Salam, I think that what Mushu was trying to say was that the ideal situation is to get introduced in a halal and Islamic manner, this is a more solid foundation for marriage and is exemplified in the lives of the masoomeen(as) It is not to say that a situation like yours wont produce a good solid relationship, just that although it has worked out for you alhamdulillah(though ofcourse I assume you regret any haram actions on the part of you or your soon to be husband) it doesn't always work out for most people and is not the most healthy way to go about finding your life partner. Marriage is half of our deen after all and as such it's foundations should be baised on deen as much as possible, and a marriage partner should therefore be sought after in appropriate environments only. It's fine to love your potential spouse before the actual nikkah, as long as you don't commit haram actions and go to haram places to achieve this. In Islamic philosophy it is not considered as logical to use haram or bad means to reach a halal or good end. I am very glad that Allah(swt) has blessed you and your soon to be spouse with a move away from mistakes of the past and a growth into a wonderful future in his(swt) proximity inshallah. I wish you all the best, a life of happiness, prosperity, the pleasure of AllahÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì, wonderful pious children inshallah amin.

Salams and du3as inshallah ^_^

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quote name='Maryammm' timestamp='1308832990' post='2214075']

Salam, I think that what Mushu was trying to say was that the ideal situation is to get introduced in a halal and Islamic manner, this is a more solid foundation for marriage and is exemplified in the lives of the masoomeen(as) It is not to say that a situation like yours wont produce a good solid relationship, just that although it has worked out for you alhamdulillah(though ofcourse I assume you regret any haram actions on the part of you or your soon to be husband) it doesn't always work out for most people and is not the most healthy way to go about finding your life partner. Marriage is half of our deen after all and as such it's foundations should be baised on deen as much as possible, and a marriage partner should therefore be sought after in appropriate environments only. It's fine to love your potential spouse before the actual nikkah, as long as you don't commit haram actions and go to haram places to achieve this. In Islamic philosophy it is not considered as logical to use haram or bad means to reach a halal or good end. I am very glad that Allah(swt) has blessed you and your soon to be spouse with a move away from mistakes of the past and a growth into a wonderful future in his(swt) proximity inshallah. I wish you all the best, a life of happiness, prosperity, the pleasure of AllahÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì, wonderful pious children inshallah amin.

Salams and du3as inshallah ^_^

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awww Maryaaaammmmm and Raja lovely stories mashallah :wub: Banotaa glad u found the right path mashallah :yaali:

Wonderer, ur gonna make my Life very busy on SC if you keep leaving ur posts hanging with an open ended Naray Haidari.

YAAAAAAAAAA ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII (as)

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