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Ashna786

Unexperienced...need Help!

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I am M 26 single and Allah knows never tried illegit relationships! I am really intrested in finding someone who will agree to do Mutta. As I see it the most logical thing in our gr8 religion. I need some advice on using the online resources to approach muslimas who might be intrested. What if one wants to approach them personally? Unexperienced and confused but hopeful this topic will help me.

What is the general conception about Mutta in your areas and why don't we have online arrangements to facilitate Temporary marriages between youth???

Any answers or comments are welcomed!

Ya Ali!

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9 out of 10 times it is a youth issue

9 out of 10 times the women that age have not been married before

9 out of 10 times the father/guardian of the woman will say NO to Mutta

Thats the problem, the fathers/guardians say no and if you approach them and mention it, they will throw their shoes at you and chase u out of their house and your name and ur family's name will be tarnished in the community. And then we revert to doing mutta with Ahlul Kitab...which really ain't any good but still allowed.

Thats my analysis why it is so DAMN HARD to practise a SUNNAH of the Prophet (as). I hope that thinking dies with that generation and our generation will be open to it.

Edited by La fatah ila Ali

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9 out of 10 times it is a youth issue

9 out of 10 times the women that age have not been married before

9 out of 10 times the father/guardian of the woman will say NO to Mutta

Thats the problem, the fathers/guardians say no and if you approach them and mention it, they will throw their shoes at you and chase u out of their house and your name and ur family's name will be tarnished in the community. And then we revert to doing mutta with Ahlul Kitab...which really ain't any good but still allowed.

Thats my analysis why it is so DAMN HARD to practise a SUNNAH of the Prophet (as). I hope that thinking dies with that generation and our generation will be open to it.

that maybe a sunnah, but everything has its time. now its being abused, and its more appropriate to get permenantly married than doing this custom. furthermore, of course fathers would do that!!! you think thats bad?? then you have a weird way of looking at things. put it this way, would you allow some random guy to use your daughter or sister for a few hours and dump her??!!!

i think that its good that fathers are protective of their daughters and inshallah that will continue. i hope that no generation ever becomes open to it.

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I am M 26 single and Allah knows never tried illegit relationships! I am really intrested in finding someone who will agree to do Mutta. As I see it the most logical thing in our gr8 religion. I need some advice on using the online resources to approach muslimas who might be intrested. What if one wants to approach them personally? Unexperienced and confused but hopeful this topic will help me.

What is the general conception about Mutta in your areas and why don't we have online arrangements to facilitate Temporary marriages between youth???

Any answers or comments are welcomed!

Ya Ali!

Listen bro. At 26 Alhamdullilah you have ALOT of patience, but at some point you have to put your foot down and do the halal before you shaitan puts all sorts of evil ideas in your head. If you are unable to find a permanent spouse I highly suggest you do Mutah. Assuming you're living in the west I highly suggest you get Ahlul Kitab or a muslim girl who is not a virgin (trust me there are many of those). Its a numbers game bro, you just gotta go and talk to as many women as possible. If you're living in a muslim country the search might be more difficult in which case its just better to get a permanent wife. Make dua inshAllah for Allah to relieve you of this burden and get you permanently married. No man should have to go on without fulfilling his legitimate desires for years, its just not natural and shows the failures of our community which puts materialism over keeping the youth away from sin.

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that maybe a sunnah, but everything has its time. now its being abused, and its more appropriate to get permenantly married than doing this custom. furthermore, of course fathers would do that!!! you think thats bad?? then you have a weird way of looking at things. put it this way, would you allow some random guy to use your daughter or sister for a few hours and dump her??!!!

i think that its good that fathers are protective of their daughters and inshallah that will continue. i hope that no generation ever becomes open to it.

You hope that no generation becomes open to a sunnah of the Prophet (pbuh)? Wow.

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You hope that no generation becomes open to a sunnah of the Prophet (pbuh)? Wow.

well if the sunnah is being abused like it is now, then i dont see why someone would do mutah if they can get permenantly married.

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well if the sunnah is being abused like it is now, then i dont see why someone would do mutah if they can get permenantly married.

Just because some people might be abusing the Sunnah (and it would be good if you could explain how exactly it is being abused at the moment), it doesn't mean we abolish it. If people start abusing permanent marriage, should be stop doing that too? Muta is highly mustahab, and if anything is way too difficult to practice for believers at the moment. The attitudes the vast majority of Shias have towards muta are completely wrong, and need to be changed, not endorsed. Just in case you aren't aware, here are some ahadith describing the desirability of muta:

1 – Muhammad b. `Ali b. a-Husayn by his isnad from Bakr b. Muhammad from Abu `Abdillah Úáíå ÇáÓáÇã. He said: I asked him about mut`a. So he said: Verily I dislike that the Muslim man should leave the world and there remains upon him a habit from the habits of the Messenger of Allah Õáì Çááå Úáíå æÂáå which he has not carried out.

2 – As-Saduq said: As-Sadiq Úáíå ÇáÓáÇã said: Verily I dislike that the man should die and there remain upon him a habit from the habits of the Messenger of Allah Õáì Çááå Úáíå æÂáå which he has not carried out. So I said: So did the Messenger of Allah Õáì Çááå Úáíå æÂáå do mut`a? He said: Yes, and he recited this verse “And when the Prophet disclosed a matter to one of his wives” – until His saying – “previously married and virgins.” (66:3-5)

3 – And by his isnad from Salih b. `Uqba from his father from Abu Ja`far Úáíå ÇáÓáÇã. He said: I said: Is there reward for the one who does mut`a? He said: If he had intended by that the countenance of Allah ÊÚÇáì and opposition against the one who denied it, he does not speak a word but that Allah has written ten good deeds for him by it, and he does not extend his hand to it but that Allah has written ten good deeds for him. So when he has approached it, Allah has forgiven him a sin by that, and when he has done ghusl, Allah has forgiven him by the measure of what has passed of water upon his hair. I said: By the number of hairs? He said: By the number of hairs.

4 – And Abu Ja`far Úáíå ÇáÓáÇã said: Verily when the Prophet Õáì Çááå Úáíå æÂáå did the night journey to Heaven, he said: Jibra’il Úáíå ÇáÓáÇã reached me and said: O Muhammad Õáì Çááå Úáíå æÂáå, verily Allah ÊÈÇÑß æÊÚÇáì says: Verily I have forgiven the doers of mut`a of the women from your Umma.

5 – He said: And it is narrated that the believer is not perfected (or, completed) until he does mut`a.

6 – And in al-Khisal from his father from Sa`d from Hammad b. Ya`la b. Hammad from his father from Hammad b. `Isa from Hariz b. `Abdillah from Zurara b. A`yan from Abu Ja`far Úáíå ÇáÓáÇã. He said: The amusement (lahw) of the believer is in three things: Mut`a with women and joking with brethren and salat at night.

7 – Muhammad b. al-Hasan in al-Misbah from Ibn Abi `Umayr from Hisham from Abu `Abdillah Úáíå ÇáÓáÇã. He said: Verily I love that the man should not leave the world until he does mut`a even if once, and that he prays the jum`a in jama`a.

8 – And there has preceded in (the book of) hajj the hadith of Zurara from Abu `Abdillah Úáíå ÇáÓáÇã (wherein) he said: Mut`a, by Allah, is the best, and the Book was sent down with it and the Sunna brought it about.

10 – Muhammad b. Muhammad b. an-Nu`man in Risalat al-Mut`a from Ja`far b. Muhammad b. Qulawayh from Sa`d b. `Abdullah from Ahmad b. Muhammad b. `Isa from Hisham b. Salim from Abu `Abdillah Úáíå ÇáÓáÇã. He said: It is recommended for the man to marry in mut`a, and I do not love that the man from you should leave the world until he marries in mut`a even once.

11 – And by the isnad from Ibn `Isa from Ibn al-Hajjaj from al-`Ala from Muhammad b. Muslim from Abu `Abdillah Úáíå ÇáÓáÇã. He said: He said to me: Have you done mut`a? I said: No. He said: Do not leave the world until you have revived the Sunna.

12 – And by the isnad from Ahmad b. Muhammad b. Khalid from Sa`d b. Sa`d from Isma`il al-Ju`fi. He said: Abu `Abdillah Úáíå ÇáÓáÇã said: O Isma`l, have you done mut`a this year? I said: Yes. He said: I do not mean the mut`a of hajj. I said: So what then? He said: The mut`a of women. I said: With a Berber slave girl. He said: It had been said, O Isma`il, do mut`a with what you find, even a Sindhi woman.

13 – And by the isnad from Ahmad b. Muhammad from Ibn Ashyam from Marwan b. Muslim from Isma`il b. al-Fadl al-Hashimi. He said: Abu `Abdillah Úáíå ÇáÓáÇã said to me: Have you done mut`a since you have gone out from your family? I said: Due to the abundance of what is with me of wives, Allah has made me needless of it. He said: And even if you are needless, for verily I love that you should revive the Sunna of the Messenger of Allah Õáì Çááå Úáíå æÂáå.

14 – And by the isnad from Ahmad b. Muhammad b. `Isa from `Ali b. Abi Hamza al-Bata’ini from Abu Basir. He said: I entered in upon Abu `Abdillah Úáíå ÇáÓáÇã, and he said to me: O Abu Muhammad, have you done mut`a since you have gone out from your family? I said: No. He said: And why? I said: What is with me of expenditure is short of that. He said: So he commanded me (to be given) a dinar. He said: I adjure you if you end up in your house until you do it.

15 – And from Ibn `Isa from Muhammad b. `Ali al-Hamdani from a man whom he named from Abu `Abdillah Úáíå ÇáÓáÇã. He said: There is not a man who does mut`a then does ghusl but that Allah creates for every drop (of water) that drops from him seventy angels seeking forgiveness for him until the day of the resurrection and cursing the avoider of it (i.e. of mut`a) until the Hour rises.

http://www.*******.org/hadiths/marriage/muta/desirability-of-muta

And by the way, it is recommended to do muta with Shia women.

3 – Muhammad b. al-Hasan by his isnad from Ahmad b. Muhammad b. `Isa from Mu`awiya b. Hakim from Ibrahim b. `Uqba from al-Hasan at-Taflisi. He said: I asked ar-Rida Úáíå ÇáÓáÇã: Does one do mut`a with a Jewess or a Christian woman? So he said: That he does mut`a with a free believing woman is more beloved to me, and she is greater in respect from her [them – in at-Tahdheeb].

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that maybe a sunnah, but everything has its time. now its being abused, and its more appropriate to get permenantly married than doing this custom. furthermore, of course fathers would do that!!! you think thats bad?? then you have a weird way of looking at things. put it this way, would you allow some random guy to use your daughter or sister for a few hours and dump her??!!!

i think that its good that fathers are protective of their daughters and inshallah that will continue. i hope that no generation ever becomes open to it.

Obviously it won't be a random guy!!!

You think I'm stupid? I would want to know who the boy is, meet his parents and do it properly, not just carelessly!

You are crazy man...If my daughter WANTS to be in that muttah, AND SHE wants to be with that guy, I will yes and there is nothing wrong with the guy other then he has chosen my daughter to have a HALAL relationship with and SHE ALSO wants to have a halal relationship with him, then why the heck not?

Dump her??? If she also wanted to be with him then, she has agreed to the time frame and the mahr? What do u mean dump her???

Surely she will be counted as one who guarded herself and the boy she was with by engaging in Muttah rather than fantasizing and delving into REAL Haram!

If fathers really want to protect their daughters than they would protect them from sin and would ensure that they understand the Sunnah of the Prophet (as) and act accordingly.

Edited by La fatah ila Ali

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Obviously it won't be a random guy!!!

You think I'm stupid? I would want to know who the boy is, meet his parents and do it properly, not just carelessly!

You are crazy man...If my daughter WANTS to be in that muttah, AND SHE wants to be with that guy, I will yes and there is nothing wrong with the guy other then he has chosen my daughter to have a HALAL relationship with and SHE ALSO wants to have a halal relationship with him, then why the heck not?

Dump her??? If she also wanted to be with him then, she has agreed to the time frame and the mahr? What do u mean dump her???

Surely she will be counted as one who guarded herself and the boy she was with by engaging in Muttah rather than fantasizing and delving into REAL Haram!

If fathers really want to protect their daughters than they would protect them from sin and would ensure that they understand the Sunnah of the Prophet (as) and act accordingly.

salam

thats just the way i see it, you dont have to agree with me. i understand your point of view and i know its recommended and everything, but i personally just dont support it. im not telling you to do this and that, im just offering my opinion. no need to attack me!!!

Just because some people might be abusing the Sunnah (and it would be good if you could explain how exactly it is being abused at the moment), it doesn't mean we abolish it. If people start abusing permanent marriage, should be stop doing that too? Muta is highly mustahab, and if anything is way too difficult to practice for believers at the moment. The attitudes the vast majority of Shias have towards muta are completely wrong, and need to be changed, not endorsed. Just in case you aren't aware, here are some ahadith describing the desirability of muta:

1 – Muhammad b. `Ali b. a-Husayn by his isnad from Bakr b. Muhammad from Abu `Abdillah Úáíå ÇáÓáÇã. He said: I asked him about mut`a. So he said: Verily I dislike that the Muslim man should leave the world and there remains upon him a habit from the habits of the Messenger of Allah Õáì Çááå Úáíå æÂáå which he has not carried out.

2 – As-Saduq said: As-Sadiq Úáíå ÇáÓáÇã said: Verily I dislike that the man should die and there remain upon him a habit from the habits of the Messenger of Allah Õáì Çááå Úáíå æÂáå which he has not carried out. So I said: So did the Messenger of Allah Õáì Çááå Úáíå æÂáå do mut`a? He said: Yes, and he recited this verse “And when the Prophet disclosed a matter to one of his wives” – until His saying – “previously married and virgins.” (66:3-5)

3 – And by his isnad from Salih b. `Uqba from his father from Abu Ja`far Úáíå ÇáÓáÇã. He said: I said: Is there reward for the one who does mut`a? He said: If he had intended by that the countenance of Allah ÊÚÇáì and opposition against the one who denied it, he does not speak a word but that Allah has written ten good deeds for him by it, and he does not extend his hand to it but that Allah has written ten good deeds for him. So when he has approached it, Allah has forgiven him a sin by that, and when he has done ghusl, Allah has forgiven him by the measure of what has passed of water upon his hair. I said: By the number of hairs? He said: By the number of hairs.

4 – And Abu Ja`far Úáíå ÇáÓáÇã said: Verily when the Prophet Õáì Çááå Úáíå æÂáå did the night journey to Heaven, he said: Jibra’il Úáíå ÇáÓáÇã reached me and said: O Muhammad Õáì Çááå Úáíå æÂáå, verily Allah ÊÈÇÑß æÊÚÇáì says: Verily I have forgiven the doers of mut`a of the women from your Umma.

5 – He said: And it is narrated that the believer is not perfected (or, completed) until he does mut`a.

6 – And in al-Khisal from his father from Sa`d from Hammad b. Ya`la b. Hammad from his father from Hammad b. `Isa from Hariz b. `Abdillah from Zurara b. A`yan from Abu Ja`far Úáíå ÇáÓáÇã. He said: The amusement (lahw) of the believer is in three things: Mut`a with women and joking with brethren and salat at night.

7 – Muhammad b. al-Hasan in al-Misbah from Ibn Abi `Umayr from Hisham from Abu `Abdillah Úáíå ÇáÓáÇã. He said: Verily I love that the man should not leave the world until he does mut`a even if once, and that he prays the jum`a in jama`a.

8 – And there has preceded in (the book of) hajj the hadith of Zurara from Abu `Abdillah Úáíå ÇáÓáÇã (wherein) he said: Mut`a, by Allah, is the best, and the Book was sent down with it and the Sunna brought it about.

10 – Muhammad b. Muhammad b. an-Nu`man in Risalat al-Mut`a from Ja`far b. Muhammad b. Qulawayh from Sa`d b. `Abdullah from Ahmad b. Muhammad b. `Isa from Hisham b. Salim from Abu `Abdillah Úáíå ÇáÓáÇã. He said: It is recommended for the man to marry in mut`a, and I do not love that the man from you should leave the world until he marries in mut`a even once.

11 – And by the isnad from Ibn `Isa from Ibn al-Hajjaj from al-`Ala from Muhammad b. Muslim from Abu `Abdillah Úáíå ÇáÓáÇã. He said: He said to me: Have you done mut`a? I said: No. He said: Do not leave the world until you have revived the Sunna.

12 – And by the isnad from Ahmad b. Muhammad b. Khalid from Sa`d b. Sa`d from Isma`il al-Ju`fi. He said: Abu `Abdillah Úáíå ÇáÓáÇã said: O Isma`l, have you done mut`a this year? I said: Yes. He said: I do not mean the mut`a of hajj. I said: So what then? He said: The mut`a of women. I said: With a Berber slave girl. He said: It had been said, O Isma`il, do mut`a with what you find, even a Sindhi woman.

13 – And by the isnad from Ahmad b. Muhammad from Ibn Ashyam from Marwan b. Muslim from Isma`il b. al-Fadl al-Hashimi. He said: Abu `Abdillah Úáíå ÇáÓáÇã said to me: Have you done mut`a since you have gone out from your family? I said: Due to the abundance of what is with me of wives, Allah has made me needless of it. He said: And even if you are needless, for verily I love that you should revive the Sunna of the Messenger of Allah Õáì Çááå Úáíå æÂáå.

14 – And by the isnad from Ahmad b. Muhammad b. `Isa from `Ali b. Abi Hamza al-Bata’ini from Abu Basir. He said: I entered in upon Abu `Abdillah Úáíå ÇáÓáÇã, and he said to me: O Abu Muhammad, have you done mut`a since you have gone out from your family? I said: No. He said: And why? I said: What is with me of expenditure is short of that. He said: So he commanded me (to be given) a dinar. He said: I adjure you if you end up in your house until you do it.

15 – And from Ibn `Isa from Muhammad b. `Ali al-Hamdani from a man whom he named from Abu `Abdillah Úáíå ÇáÓáÇã. He said: There is not a man who does mut`a then does ghusl but that Allah creates for every drop (of water) that drops from him seventy angels seeking forgiveness for him until the day of the resurrection and cursing the avoider of it (i.e. of mut`a) until the Hour rises.

http://www.*******.org/hadiths/marriage/muta/desirability-of-muta

And by the way, it is recommended to do muta with Shia women.

3 – Muhammad b. al-Hasan by his isnad from Ahmad b. Muhammad b. `Isa from Mu`awiya b. Hakim from Ibrahim b. `Uqba from al-Hasan at-Taflisi. He said: I asked ar-Rida Úáíå ÇáÓáÇã: Does one do mut`a with a Jewess or a Christian woman? So he said: That he does mut`a with a free believing woman is more beloved to me, and she is greater in respect from her [them – in at-Tahdheeb].

salam

thanks for the hadiths and stuff. i know its a sunnah and mustahab, i just dont support it, its my personal opinion. you can do what you want, im not responsible. the stories i have heard about the way people use mutah are horrible, so naturally i would form such a negative impression of it. im not gonna go into detail. everyone is responsible for their own actions.

wasalam

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salam

thats just the way i see it, you dont have to agree with me. i understand your point of view and i know its recommended and everything, but i personally just dont support it. im not telling you to do this and that, im just offering my opinion. no need to attack me!!!

salam

thanks for the hadiths and stuff. i know its a sunnah and mustahab, i just dont support it, its my personal opinion. you can do what you want, im not responsible. the stories i have heard about the way people use mutah are horrible, so naturally i would form such a negative impression of it. im not gonna go into detail. everyone is responsible for their own actions.

wasalam

ok ok , sorry if i came across strongly.

But I don't understand this 'personal opinion' thing?

So this means that YOU know that it is not only allowed...but recommended in the right situations yet ur 'personal opinion' is against it?

That is Shaitan in ur mind! Fight him!

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I have read and heard a lot pgirls talking about Mutah being Halal and it is good.

But what I found out is that girls speak that Mutah is great but in their minds they have different views. The girl who convinced me that Mutah is good and halal, when i proposed her for Mutah she was not ready for it mainly because of the system we live in Karachi, Pakistan.

I have asked probably 5 girls till now and none of them was ready. Actually now I feel so uncomfortable meeting them because I asked them.

I dont think any girl would get ready for mutah where we live.

regards,

Zaviar

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