Sexual Desires Control

[disturbed.mind]

Salam Brothers,

Sexual desires are very common in a man, after attaining age of puberty. Same is the case with me. But, holding them back is becoming very difficult for me. Masturbation is the only way I am being able to control them. But, after reading a few articles and books, I understood that masturbation is Haram, and a great sin. But, I am not able to control it at all. I am ashamed of myself. I really don't know how I can keep these desires under control. I pray all the Namaz and tried fasting. I try keeping myself busy, tried reading books, playing games, exercise and everything. But, still the sick habit keeps coming back. Please give me any suggestions regarding the same. And by the way, I cannot get married now and Muta'a is not an option as well, for me. So, any other suggestions which might help. I am really distressed and annoyed by myself.

Thank you for taking time to read this post. I really appreciate it. May Allah bless you.

[Saintly_Jinn23]

The key for me honestly is keeping the mind on God more than women. I regard my personal sexuality as having little to no importance. I keep these things in mind and meditate on them:

I am never truly alone with God in my life. So I never need to fear not having a partner in life. So there is no reason to rush into a sexual relationship with a woman in a desperate attempt to have a feeling a closeness because I can experience a greater sense of closeness with God. The key is to have a passion for God that supersedes all other passions I may feel or wish to feel.

[Praetorius]

Salam Brothers,

Sexual desires are very common in a man, after attaining age of puberty. Same is the case with me. But, holding them back is becoming very difficult for me. Masturbation is the only way I am being able to control them. But, after reading a few articles and books, I understood that masturbation is Haram, and a great sin. But, I am not able to control it at all. I am ashamed of myself. I really don't know how I can keep these desires under control. I pray all the Namaz and tried fasting. I try keeping myself busy, tried reading books, playing games, exercise and everything. But, still the sick habit keeps coming back. Please give me any suggestions regarding the same. And by the way, I cannot get married now and Muta'a is not an option as well, for me. So, any other suggestions which might help. I am really distressed and annoyed by myself.

Thank you for taking time to read this post. I really appreciate it. May Allah bless you.

Bro, try keeping an accountability partner, preferably a male Muslim who doesn't believe in masturbating. It will help you immensely.

Also, why can't you do Mutah? Explain your restrictions, then perhaps we might convince you otherwise. It's too bad I was and probably will never be able to engage in Mutah myself, but I cannot imagine someone else in my situation, and therefore not being able to do Mutah.

[MysticKnight]

Salam

I suggest fasting if you cannot get married or do muta.

[siraatoaliyinhaqqun]

Salam

rasool Allah saww said: In the final era people will get married late so control your sexual appetites.

There are certain prayers to control the feelings and fasting helps a big deal and has been recomended by masoomeen asws.

Imam Ali asws said: The organ of your body which does the least hamd of Allah swt are your eyes.

Watch out for ur gaze because looking at forbidden things is also a sin and most ofthe time a reason behind lust.

Ya ali madad

[kaali_daal]

Assalamun Alaikum dear.

Allhamdolilah, the fact that you are attempting to control your desire is in itself beautiful.

First of all you must Supplicate to the All Mighty as much as you can to Bless you with

patience in carrying out this deed in order to please Him and Him alone.

Indeed it is very hard, but you must remember to NEVER EVER give up. That is first.

Perhaps a few of the following videos might help.

It is indeed not an easy task to control this desire. So expect it to take quite some time.

Be careful of what you eat. It will have an effect on your hormone growth. Also look for

friends that are already out of this habit and stay close to them. InshAllah do as much as

you can and than leave the rest to the All Powerful.

There is no Might and Power except with Allah.

[shoelace]

if you can restrict your self from watching porn, 80% of your sexual desire will be in control....and i think its easy to get control on 20%.

but atlast you shud try to get married asap....i have noidea what impact it can have on health when you try to suppress sexual desire for long time.

[Abu_Zahra]

(bismillah)

(salam)

-Try to monitor/rearrange aspects of your lifestyle (watch what you eat (avoid overeating), what you watch/look at (lowering the gaze, television etc..), what you listen to (music ).

-Try to renew your wudhu (ablution) regularly

-Avoid unnecessary contact with non-mahram people of the opposite gender

A good list was posted by brother in another thread quite a long time ago:

1. Don't fill your stomach to the brink (according to the Prophet, one third of the stomach should be left empty after eating).

2. Refrain from wearing too tight clothing.

3. Refrain from viewing scenes, movies or pictures of provocative nature. In case of accidental viewing, immediately stop.

4. Refrain from listening or reading about provocative issues. This includes even jokes. As much as possible, cleanse your mind from thinking about these issues.

5. Certain foods such as dates, onions, peppers, eggs, red meat, fatty foods should be avoided as much as possible, or be kept at a minimum.

6. Empty your urine bladder before sleep.

7. Refrain from drinking too much liquids, especially during nights and before sleep.

8. Avoid viewing yourself naked in the mirror.

9. Don't touch your genital organs.

10. Don't sleep on your stomach.

11. Exercise alot of sports, to spend energy.

12. Don't sit around idle with nothing to do. Always plan your free time - conduct studies, engage in sports, worship, etc.

13. Don't be alone in place and away from other human beings' eyes.

14. If you are "attacked" by thoughts of provocative nature, do not be in a place alone - enter a public place, and go among other people.

15. Conduct supererogatory fasts once or twice per week. If you are not able to, then perform "ethical" (akhlaqi) fast, i.e. minimize the intake of food by cutting down the number of times you eat each day, the amount of food you eat and keep it to a minimum.

16. Don't engage unnecessarily with the opposite gender; refrain from softness and sweet talking.

17. Never be alone in a place with a non-mahram person, even for studies or other purposes.

18. Don't spend time with "bad" people, i.e. people that will take you away from your spirituality and religion and encourage you - directly or indirectly - to move away from God. This plays a big role.

19. Read the Qur'an frequently and study its meaning.

20. The most important "weapon" is your faith. The stronger your faith is, the more you are able to resist. Study the trial of Yusuf (as) as mentioned in the Qur'an.

Taken and translated (with some extrapolation) from

http://www.tebyan.net/index.aspx?CONSULTAT...7&GRADEID=0

Original post

[Bhooka_Bhairiya]

5. Certain foods such as dates, onions, peppers, eggs, red meat, fatty foods should be avoided as much as possible, or be kept at a minimum.

So to solve a problem one should create an even bigger problem?

[Saintly_Jinn23]

if you can restrict your self from watching porn, 80% of your sexual desire will be in control....and i think its easy to get control on 20%.

but atlast you shud try to get married asap....i have noidea what impact it can have on health when you try to suppress sexual desire for long time.

if he doesn't know how to control himself, he'll just commit adultery at some point when he gets married. Marriage won't help anything but might make things worse if he can't control his passions or enters a marriage for the wrong reasons.

I haven't read of any actual harmful affects from long lengths celibacy and abstinence from masturbation myself. As far as I know there is no harm.

[Basim Ali]

So to solve a problem one should create an even bigger problem?

Problem? It would be a problem if you'd want to transform it into one.

Some of those foods have been proven to raise testosterone levels in males, which naturally intensifies the sexual desire of a person.

wa (salam)

Edited April 17, 2011 by Basim Ali

[Saintly_Jinn23]

Problem? It would be a problem if you'd want to transform it into one.

Some of those foods have been proven to raise testosterone levels in males, which naturally intensifies the sexual desire of a person.

wa (salam)

I have noticed that some foods have made me more susceptible to sexual thoughts. Which is why I usually pray that the food in my stomach doesn't make me impious. What helps is refusing to eat anything without saying a prayer of a certain length of time before consuming even slightest drop of water or crumb of solid food.

[Bhooka_Bhairiya]

Problem? It would be a problem if you'd want to transform it into one.

Some of those foods have been proven to raise testosterone levels in males, which naturally intensifies the sexual desire of a person.

wa (salam)

Exactly my point. Healthy testosterone levels are essential for us, for sexual as well as other functions. Hence the bigger problem.

(wasalam)

[Ya Baqiyatullah (aj)]

(salam)

Dont masturbate for 40 days. It takes 40 days to break a bad habit. See here: http://themuslimvoice.wordpress.com/2009/04/22/why-is-the-number-40-important-in-islam/

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6– When someone addressed Imam al-Baqir (as), saying, ‘I am weak in my worship, praying and fasting but a little, though I strive to eat only that which is permissible, and be sexually intimate with only those whom it is permissible’, the Imam replied, ‘What jihad is there better than restraint of the stomach and the private parts?!’[ibid. v. 1, p. 455, no. 1052]

[Basim Ali]

Exactly my point. Healthy testosterone levels are essential for us, for sexual as well as other functions. Hence the bigger problem.

(wasalam)

It is very unlikely that you run out of testosterone. In fact much of the time it is being over-produced (hence the desires), so you needn't worry about it going too low.

I have noticed that some foods have made me more susceptible to sexual thoughts. Which is why I usually pray that the food in my stomach doesn't make me impious. What helps is refusing to eat anything without saying a prayer of a certain length of time before consuming even slightest drop of water or crumb of solid food.

That is exactly the way things should be. Anything done with a pure intention won't have a bad end. The key is to remember Allah and keep reminding yourself about Him, whenever you find yourself not doing it. Dhikr should replace boredom and idleness, since much of the time they precede evil thoughts. Keep this up and the call of the sexual organs will fall on deaf ears.

wa (salam)

[Saintly_Jinn23]

It is very unlikely that you run out of testosterone. In fact much of the time it is being over-produced (hence the desires), so you needn't worry about it going too low.

That is exactly the way things should be. Anything done with a pure intention won't have a bad end. The key is to remember Allah and keep reminding yourself about Him, whenever you find yourself not doing it. Dhikr should replace boredom and idleness, since much of the time they precede evil thoughts. Keep this up and the call of the sexual organs will fall on deaf ears.

wa (salam)

I kind of believe that the sexual passion that people feel actually more often, in the case of that feeling of uncontrollable urges that people attribute solely to hormones, I believe is actually a result of what I guess is called the "lower self" The mind is attached to matter, which breeds the ego and the ego encourages sin.

[Bhooka_Bhairiya]

It is very unlikely that you run out of testosterone. In fact much of the time it is being over-produced (hence the desires), so you needn't worry about it going too low.

I don't know what you mean by 'too low', but anyhow, those foods mentioned provide us with proteins and essential fats(having a good level of those as well as other factors will ensure adequate testosterone levels) and abandoning/avoiding them is not the ideal solution by any means.

[shahid123]

Salam Brothers,

Sexual desires are very common in a man, after attaining age of puberty. Same is the case with me. But, holding them back is becoming very difficult for me. Masturbation is the only way I am being able to control them. But, after reading a few articles and books, I understood that masturbation is Haram, and a great sin. But, I am not able to control it at all. I am ashamed of myself. I really don't know how I can keep these desires under control. I pray all the Namaz and tried fasting. I try keeping myself busy, tried reading books, playing games, exercise and everything. But, still the sick habit keeps coming back. Please give me any suggestions regarding the same. And by the way, I cannot get married now and Muta'a is not an option as well, for me. So, any other suggestions which might help. I am really distressed and annoyed by myself.

Thank you for taking time to read this post. I really appreciate it. May Allah bless you.

KEEP THIS IN MIND IMAM ASAR(ATF) IS WATCHING ALL YOUR ACTS, & OUR BELOVED PROPHET(SAWAW) BECOMES SAD WHEN Allah & ANGLES SHOW HIM THE DAILY RECORD OF MOMINS. SO WHEN YOU SEE SUCH THINGS SOMEONE IS WEEPING BY SEEING YOUR ACTS...

MAY Allah SHOW YOU THE STRAIGHT PATH LEADING TO KARBALA......

Edited April 17, 2011 by shahid123

[Saintly_Jinn23]

Practice dhikr with this phrase: I seek the protection of Allah from the sins of my tongue, the sins of my mind, and the sins of my loins.

[alik]

KEEP THIS IN MIND IMAM ASAR(ATF) IS WATCHING ALL YOUR ACTS, & OUR BELOVED PROPHET(SAWAW) BECOMES SAD WHEN Allah & ANGLES SHOW HIM THE DAILY RECORD OF MOMINS. SO WHEN YOU SEE SUCH THINGS SOMEONE IS WEEPING BY SEEING YOUR ACTS...

MAY Allah SHOW YOU THE STRAIGHT PATH LEADING TO KARBALA......

Salam,

i was wondering, what are you basing " OUR BELOVED PROPHET(SAWAW) BECOMES SAD WHEN Allah & ANGLES SHOW HIM THE DAILY RECORD OF MOMINS "

Who said that the prophet(PBUH) gets shown the doings of mommins?

[Mansour Hosseini]

Say astaghfar ever time you look at something you aren't suppose to look at and turn your face away from it immediately.

if you can, get married or do muta.

don't masturbate. its a sign of weakness. As shias of ahl-bait, we should be strong and fight against our desires.

Also, if you start getting into a sexual mood and no one is around, get up, say YA HOSSEIN and jog a mile like a hezbollahi. Don't sit around and think about girls and sex because only weak men do that.

Remember death!

I hope this advice/motivation helped you

[La fata illa Ali]

recite surah Yusuf often and recite surah Ma'arij before going to bed.

[Sheraz]

Or go to youtube find a noha n start doing matam :squeez:

[madzi]

S/A brother,

I have just posted something that I believe is a truly practical way to stop maturbating for good. It is an account of my own experience. Read it here:

Madzi.

[ShiaBen]

Eat a lot of bananas and play a lot of sports.

They should help me thinks.

[Shia_Debater]

(salam)

I don't personally know how you can stop this however I do know 3 things

1) by masturbating your just gonna have 2 keep doing ghusl over and over again which is gonna take ages (that may put u off it)

2) Look at it like this u masterbate now u get sin which could lead 2 worse and may God Forbid lead 2 hellfire - u quit masterbation now u carry on following islam and InshaAllah you go jannah and den u can have beautiful women to yourself and not just your hand

3) when u think of committing the sin say the athan not only will it stop u from wanting to committ the sin but also it is going to give you reward aswell

May Allah (swt) give you the strength and patience to overcome this InshaAllah

Edited July 4, 2011 by Shia_Debater

[waqaraamirkatiar]

Salam

We can control our sex desire by keep our mind and body bizzy. Play games, read books, and involved in different hobbies. in addition avoid to use net alone, and dont close your room door when you sleep

[Waiting for HIM]

Try this... And do it all, do not leave any out

1. Ibadat

2. Exercise

3. Fasting

4. A goal. Start a new business, a new project you are really passionate about.

5. Do not shave down there.

OR

Just live in peace and find a wife....

[AbuLayla]

(salam)

Dont masturbate for 40 days. It takes 40 days to break a bad habit. See here: http://themuslimvoic...rtant-in-islam/

الإمامُ الباقرُ (عَلَيهِ الّسَلامُ) ـ لمّا قالَ لَهُ رجُلٌ : إنّي ضَعيفُ العَملِ قَليلُ الصّلاةِ قليلُ الصَّومِ ، ولكنْ أرْجو أنْ لا آكُلَ إلّا حَلالاً، ولا أنْكِحَ إلّا حَلالاً ـ : وأيُّ جِهادٍ أفْضَلُ مِن عِفَّةِ بَطْنٍ وفَرْجٍ ؟!

6– When someone addressed Imam al-Baqir (as), saying, 'I am weak in my worship, praying and fasting but a little, though I strive to eat only that which is permissible, and be sexually intimate with only those whom it is permissible', the Imam replied, 'What jihad is there better than restraint of the stomach and the private parts?!'[ibid. v. 1, p. 455, no. 1052]

Agree.

If you can refrain for 30 days even, then you will know how to control it.

I used to suffer hugely with this problem myself, so much so it went from bad to worse sins.. Now i do not NEED a wife for reasons related to this problem.

It is not easy, but if you truly want to refrain from doing self abuse to yourself, then just refrain for 30 days atleast, you will be fine after that inshallah.

As mentioned previously, it is more important to be close to Allah then to play.

Once you have got this under your control and taken this action away from Shaytans grasp, you will develop MUCH more as an individual.

Then when you do find yourself a good wife inshallah, just think of all the love and appreciation you will have for her. I wish i had the control i have now before i met the woman i fell in love with. Think about it.

رحمك الله

Rahimakalla

Ali.

[Al Abbas]

Agree.

If you can refrain for 30 days even, then you will know how to control it.

I used to suffer hugely with this problem myself, so much so it went from bad to worse sins.. Now i do not NEED a wife for reasons related to this problem.

It is not easy, but if you truly want to refrain from doing self abuse to yourself, then just refrain for 30 days atleast, you will be fine after that inshallah.

As mentioned previously, it is more important to be close to Allah then to play.

Once you have got this under your control and taken this action away from Shaytans grasp, you will develop MUCH more as an individual.

Then when you do find yourself a good wife inshallah, just think of all the love and appreciation you will have for her. I wish i had the control i have now before i met the woman i fell in love with. Think about it.

رحمك الله

Rahimakalla

Ali.

Good on you, May Allah SWT bless you

[Fiasco]

My dear brothers, there isn't a desire you cannot conquer.

We humans grossly underestimate our capacity to be mentally tough.

[Husseinjaber]

Get married or do mutah. Always keep Allah in mind and be constant in your prayers

[Psychopath]

Chop, chop, chop. Eliminate the problem.

[Abdullah786]

you should just keep your mind on something and keep busy boredom does so much damage

[Bahlool]

Hijab of the Eyes

“There is nothing more gainful than lowering one’s gaze, for the sight is not lowered from things, which Allah has forbidden unless the witnessing of majesty and glory has already come to the heart.” ~ Imam Jafar Al-Sadiq (as).