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In the Name of God بسم الله

Seriously...mutah? Who Came Up With This.

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  • Advanced Member

What makes you think there is any chance Imam Mahdi (as) would do it, when none of the other Imams (as) did? Anything could be justified using the 'what if' argument.

who told u that no imam e masoom did not do that? Imams did it.

Appreciate the links and references brother. My question is why? anyway if I search hard enough im sure ill find the answers. Thanks

Salamalaikum,

why mutah; it has conditions. Apple is halal but not wajib. If some girl has never been married before then mutah is disliked. If she still wants to do mUtah then there are conditions and she can also put a condition that there would be no physical contact in the contract of mutah. It is in beneficial when two non mahrams see each other and want to see compatibility. See the link too

http://www.*******.org/hadiths/marriage/muta

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who told u that no imam e masoom did not do that? Imams did it.

Salamalaikum,

why mutah; it has conditions. Apple is halal but not wajib. If some girl has never been married before then mutah is disliked. If she still wants to do mUtah then there are conditions and she can also put a condition that there would be no physical contact in the contract of mutah. It is in beneficial when two non mahrams see each other and want to see compatibility. See the link too

http://www.*******.org/hadiths/marriage/muta

Walikum Assalam,

Thanks for the link and clarifying everything. Jazakallah khair

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  • Veteran Member

AoA,

I know how u feel abt it. It would seem that sex is no big deal in Islam, it's like eating food or like a routine workout. It maybe bec in the bigger picture, it's all about producing maximum kids for enhancing the quantum of Muslims..!

This one is a learning curve for me too.

How typical. In another thread you were staunchly defending zanjeer, which is not part of Islam, but you find it difficult to accept muta, which is part of Islam. I get the feeling your level of comfort with these things is dictated by your culture, not your religion.

By the way, the purpose of muta is not to have children, although any children that came from such a relationship would be halal.

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All that is sought is clarity on the wisdom in it and the point behind reading the couple of sentences, isn't it's misuse a greater sin then adultery because it's not just doing a Wrong but it's also using Islam as a Tool for doing the wrong (which doubles the wrongs).

What is so mysterious about the wisdom of it? People need love, affection, companionship. If people are in a situation where permanent marriage is difficult or impossible, for whatever reasons of culture, finances, logistics, circumstances of life, etc, then the need for love, affection, companionship remains. If a lifetime commitment relationship is not feasible, then a commitment for a few weeks, months, years.

If the whole business is done in the open, certain social realities serve to self-regulate things and keep abuses minimized. Men cannot marry mutah without a willing partner. Women talk to each other, comparing notes, and if a man goes around too much, he develops a reputation, and nice girls are not going to be interested. Similar goes for women. Another balancing factor is the natural preference of human beings for the comfort of stable, committed relationships. Even in the relatively unregulated West, the norm is "serial monogamy" in which people have a committed, steady boyfriend/girlfriend for months or years. Most people have no more than a few serious partners in a lifetime before settling down to long term commitment of marriage.

Edited by kadhim
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Walikum Assalam,

I thank our brothers for placing reference to support the permissability of mutah. Basing my conclusions on the activities of this forum, mutah seems to be growing more favourable than permanent marriage. I don't know enough about it and I am very curious to know about the conditions surrounding mutah.

Just like the permissability regarding marriage of four wives, there are strict conditions that a brother needs to adhere to before he can engage in a polygamous marriage. So what are the conditions surrounding mutah, can someone please provide further reference even links to a book would be great starting point.

Jazakallah khair

Assalamu Alaikum

A very useful resource is www.mutah.com - it provides different scholarly opinions on mutah and how it should be conducted.

The main conditions that come to mind:

1) The permission of a girls father if she be a virgin

2) The agreement on a time period

3) The agreement on a mahr

4) Any additional conditions (eg a couple can decide to mutah but have it written that they will not engage in sex - and if they do so they are breaking the contract and voiding the marriage)

5) Waiting period after the mutah - The woman is to wait (i forget the time limit) a certain amount of time after the marriage in case a pregnancy was to happen. This way it is sure who the father is. She must wait this time period before taking another mutah marriage or a permanent marriage - unless she renews mutah with the same man.

The above can be found in more detail - and according to different scholars, on the link I provided.

Another thing to note that in a mutah marriage the man is not financially responsible for the woman - so it does not bear the same rights as a permanent marriage in that sense. And if a son was to come out of the marriage - it is the responsibility of the father to care for that son.

I'm also not sure where you've heard mutah is more common than permanent nikkah - especially since it is recommended if you are doing a mutah for a long time period that you just marry permanently.

Hope the link I provided helps

(wasalam)

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1) The permission of a girls father if she be a virgin

(bismillah)

Actually, this is only obligatory precaution by any Marj'a saying you "should" get father's permission. I don't think there's any Marj'a that says wajib-wajib. So, if you find another marj'a who actually made a fatwa say it isn't necessary (like Sayed Sadiq Rohani) then permission is not necessary.

(salam)

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(bismillah)

Actually, this is only obligatory precaution by any Marj'a saying you "should" get father's permission. I don't think there's any Marj'a that says wajib-wajib. So, if you find another marj'a who actually made a fatwa say it isn't necessary (like Sayed Sadiq Rohani) then permission is not necessary.

(salam)

Hmm true, thanks for the correction. Is it not under the condition that she be mature an adult though?

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  • 5 weeks later...
  • Veteran Member

We can use our reason to come to a decision about whether something is harmful or beneficial. Ahadith is a tricky area because its so open to corruption and such a target for corruption and Quran unfortunately has been mis-interpreted by some people with less than pious motives (and even if you have pious motives you can still make mistakes). So we have a lot of things to take into consideration.

Its hard for people to deny a cultural bias, although many people manage to avoid some of this by using reason. Some times reason takes you to a position you'd rather not have to consider. Reasonably speaking Muta can be very practical. Islamic restrictions of social interation between genders can make it very hard for people to get to know each other. Muta can be used as a way of relaxing those rules, it doesnt necessarily equal having sex. At the other end of the spectrum you have people abusing the principle and using Muta just as a way of having sex and using it as a technically so they can say it is 'lawful'. As far as im aware it originated as a way for people in extreme cicumstances, like being away at war for months/years on end with out the possibility for permanent marriag, or people that for some other reason didnt have permanent marriage as an option. Muta doesnt mean you can have nikka afterwards either, if you think someone has athe potencial for a permanent partner, but arent sure, then Muta can help you make that decision. It doesnt equal sex. There will always be people who will s[Edited Out]e by on technicalities and keep their standards low, it is between them and God ultimately, but Muta does have some good uses that help to decrease suffering/harm.

Assalamu Alaikum

5) Waiting period after the mutah - The woman is to wait (i forget the time limit) a certain amount of time after the marriage in case a pregnancy was to happen. This way it is sure who the father is. She must wait this time period before taking another mutah marriage or a permanent marriage - unless she renews mutah with the same man.

P.S isnt the waiting time after void now as people can have paturnity tests?

Edited by ~Ruqaya~
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  • Veteran Member

We can use our reason to come to a decision about whether something is harmful or beneficial. Ahadith is a tricky area because its so open to corruption and such a target for corruption and Quran unfortunately has been mis-interpreted by some people with less than pious motives (and even if you have pious motives you can still make mistakes). So we have a lot of things to take into consideration.

You keep going on about the corruption in the hadith, but you don't provide any evidence to back it up. What makes you think the ahadith are so corrupt, other than the fact that you don't like them?

Its hard for people to deny a cultural bias, although many people manage to avoid some of this by using reason. Some times reason takes you to a position you'd rather not have to consider. Reasonably speaking Muta can be very practical. Islamic restrictions of social interation between genders can make it very hard for people to get to know each other. Muta can be used as a way of relaxing those rules, it doesnt necessarily equal having sex. At the other end of the spectrum you have people abusing the principle and using Muta just as a way of having sex and using it as a technically so they can say it is 'lawful'. As far as im aware it originated as a way for people in extreme cicumstances, like being away at war for months/years on end with out the possibility for permanent marriag, or people that for some other reason didnt have permanent marriage as an option. Muta doesnt mean you can have nikka afterwards either, if you think someone has athe potencial for a permanent partner, but arent sure, then Muta can help you make that decision. It doesnt equal sex. There will always be people who will s[Edited Out]e by on technicalities and keep their standards low, it is between them and God ultimately, but Muta does have some good uses that help to decrease suffering/harm.

To quote alimohamad40, a muta marriage literally means a pleasure marriage, so to say that the sex has little to do with it is absurd. Muta is not some kind of substitute for engagement, although if people also want to use it for that, then fine.

By the way, weren't you meant to reply to my post on a similar issue in another thread? You said you would 'respond by IM for obvious reasons'. I'm not sure what those reasons were, but I didn't receive any response.

P.S isnt the waiting time after void now as people can have paturnity tests?

No. The period of Iddah comes from Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì, and has other purposes that just finding out who the child belongs to.

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You keep going on about the corruption in the hadith, but you don't provide any evidence to back it up. What makes you think the ahadith are so corrupt, other than the fact that you don't like them?

To quote alimohamad40, a muta marriage literally means a pleasure marriage, so to say that the sex has little to do with it is absurd. Muta is not some kind of substitute for engagement, although if people also want to use it for that, then fine.

By the way, weren't you meant to reply to my post on a similar issue in another thread? You said you would 'respond by IM for obvious reasons'. I'm not sure what those reasons were, but I didn't receive any response.

No. The period of Iddah comes from Allah ÓÈÍÇäå æÊÚÇáì, and has other purposes that just finding out who the child belongs to.

Of course there is corruption in hadith, other wise why would ahadith science exist at all??people were fabrication hadith left right and centre for various self interested reasons. It makes sense that it would be a TARGET for such a thing, propagating a ahadith that is advantagous to you might be very effective. Hadith science in itself is not infallible, hence the need for skeptisim in order to get to what is the most likely truth and then to exercise caution if the subject is one with very serious ramifications.

I knew what the term was translated as. Why are you assuming the 'pleasure' is sexual? it is also translated as 'that which gives benefits'. My example was just a positive modern application of it that is very practical in societies where there are many social pressures and restrictions between genders or people who are very strict about their social interaction with non mahram so find it hard to get to know people who they suspect may be a good match for them long term.

What are you talking about? i did reply to you in IM and you replied to me, although not to my last IM o.O

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Of course there is corruption in hadith, other wise why would ahadith science exist at all??people were fabrication hadith left right and centre for various self interested reasons. It makes sense that it would be a TARGET for such a thing, propagating a ahadith that is advantagous to you might be very effective. Hadith science in itself is not infallible, hence the need for skeptisim in order to get to what is the most likely truth and then to exercise caution if the subject is one with very serious ramifications.

Considering the sheer number of sahih ahadith we have on muta, from many different chains of narrators, to assume even a large portion of them were fabrications would probably put in questions our whole collection of hadith since we couldn't trust anything or anyone. We might as well become Quran-only Muslims in that case.

Again, I have to ask you, apart from your dislike of these ahadith, do you have any reason to believe they aren't genuine?

I knew what the term was translated as. Why are you assuming the 'pleasure' is sexual? it is also translated as 'that which gives benefits'. My example was just a positive modern application of it that is very practical in societies where there are many social pressures and restrictions between genders or people who are very strict about their social interaction with non mahram so find it hard to get to know people who they suspect may be a good match for them long term.

The applications are many, but sexual pleasure is one of them, as is explicitly mentioned in the ahadith.

What are you talking about? i did reply to you in IM and you replied to me, although not to my last IM o.O

I don't know who you IM'd (and I assume by that you mean a personal message), but it wasn't me, and I certainly didn't respond to anything.

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salaam :)

First of all, thanks for your consideration for reading this topic :)

anyways, i find it soooooo stupid that many, i mean NUMEROUS of muslim getting..Mutah(Temporary 'Marriage'). i find it untraditional and FAKE, I think its the something as dating, even worse, these individuals have sex so quickly..so basically what i want to ask is who came up with this and please cite some resources that shows the proof and so on :) thanks i am sorry if i sound all frustrated but i dont like some 'muslim' guys coming up and saying.."oh we can get Mutah". i dont believe in it at all, i am sorry if i sound opinionated, but again, i am here to learn :)

Thank you soooooo much!! and have an amazing night/day inshallah :)

I personally don't like mutah. But without it there would be forms of prostitution.

But yeah, in a way, it's like Islamic version of dating.

But, the best thing we can do is, hope that bad people won't abuse it, and good people will have knowledge about the consequences or purposes of mutah.

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Excuse my ignorance, but what is the difference between adultery and Muta? I mean, practically what is the difference? Because, I don't see how adultery spreads corruption if its pretty much the same as Muta... Explain that..

Another question - once a Muta marriage ends, and I become pregnant, the Muta husband has no responsibility for the child since there is no longer any marriage so he can just go far away and never come back. Isn't this a problem?

Edited by Layla40
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Considering the sheer number of sahih ahadith we have on muta, from many different chains of narrators, to assume even a large portion of them were fabrications would probably put in questions our whole collection of hadith since we couldn't trust anything or anyone. We might as well become Quran-only Muslims in that case.

Again, I have to ask you, apart from your dislike of these ahadith, do you have any reason to believe they aren't genuine?

The applications are many, but sexual pleasure is one of them, as is explicitly mentioned in the ahadith.

I don't know who you IM'd (and I assume by that you mean a personal message), but it wasn't me, and I certainly didn't respond to anything.

It isnt that i 'dislike' ahadith, i have explained my position and why.

Well, yes you did, im not going to post it on here as its too long and off topic so ive replied to it again from my inbox.

Excuse my ignorance, but what is the difference between adultery and Muta? I mean, practically what is the difference? Because, I don't see how adultery spreads corruption if its pretty much the same as Muta... Explain that..

Another question - once a Muta marriage ends, and I become pregnant, the Muta husband has no responsibility for the child since there is no longer any marriage so he can just go far away and never come back. Isn't this a problem?

I agree with your first point in the case of when Muta is abused. If people can find a ahadith (or many) to back something up that they desire they will leave it at that. They dont let themselves think about it logically because now they have a ahadith they dont care, they dont want to ask the difficult questions or contemplate whether this really would be what God wants from us and the ahadith being spurious. The fact is that behaving in an adulterous manner or being loose sexually with Muta has the same consequences for the same actions without Muta. This is why its so controversial for Shia's let alone other muslims.

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Well, yes you did, im not going to post it on here as its too long and off topic so ive replied to it again from my inbox.

No, seriously, I haven't. Carefully check to see if it really was my username that responded. If it was, then perhaps my account was hacked or something, and I can ask the admins to look at it. I receive anything from you, there is no trace in my conversation files of anything, and I certainly didn't reply to you.

Excuse my ignorance, but what is the difference between adultery and Muta? I mean, practically what is the difference? Because, I don't see how adultery spreads corruption if its pretty much the same as Muta... Explain that..

How is it like adultery? If a man has a child through muta, then the child is his, just as it would be from a permanent marriage. If a man has a child though zina, then the child is not attributed to him. A woman that has a muta receives a mahr, has to observe the iddah period. Most of all, it is halal, while zina is haraam. You understand the difference between halal and haraam food, so what is the problem here?

I don't see where the corruption is supposed to come in.

Another question - once a Muta marriage ends, and I become pregnant, the Muta husband has no responsibility for the child since there is no longer any marriage so he can just go far away and never come back. Isn't this a problem?

The father has as much responsibility as he would in a permanent marriage. The child is his, and he should provide for it. Also don't forget that the woman has a choice to do muta or not. If she thinks the man is going to run off and not support a potential child, then she should not have a muta with him, just as she wouldn't permanently marry such a person.

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How is it like adultery? If a man has a child through muta, then the child is his, just as it would be from a permanent marriage. If a man has a child though zina, then the child is not attributed to him. A woman that has a muta receives a mahr, has to observe the iddah period. Most of all, it is halal, while zina is haraam. You understand the difference between halal and haraam food, so what is the problem here?

I don't see where the corruption is supposed to come in.

The father has as much responsibility as he would in a permanent marriage. The child is his, and he should provide for it. Also don't forget that the woman has a choice to do muta or not. If she thinks the man is going to run off and not support a potential child, then she should not have a muta with him, just as she wouldn't permanently marry such a person.

1. The problem is, Muta is, apart from going through all the rituals, the same as adultery in the sense that you can do it for any period of length, you can do it as many times as you like with different people and there's no need for witnesses. In that sense, I don't see how adultery could possibly spread corruption since it shares the same concept With Muta.

2. At the end of the day, the father Can leave the wife and child to themselves since the marriage has ended and there's no blame on the partner if he leaves. This is the problem.

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1. The problem is, Muta is, apart from going through all the rituals, the same as adultery in the sense that you can do it for any period of length, you can do it as many times as you like with different people and there's no need for witnesses. In that sense, I don't see how adultery could possibly spread corruption since it shares the same concept With Muta.

Halal meant, aside from going through the rituals is the same as haraam meat. However, those 'rituals' make a big difference. I have already outlined some difference between muta and zina, and those are what prevents 'corruption' spreading. If you have something specific in mind that you think muta does to society, then say what it is.

2. At the end of the day, the father Can leave the wife and child to themselves since the marriage has ended and there's no blame on the partner if he leaves. This is the problem.

The father could do this even in a permanent marriage. I don't see why there would be no blame on him for not providing for his own child, whether it was born for a permanent or temporary marriage.

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Halal meant, aside from going through the rituals is the same as haraam meat. However, those 'rituals' make a big difference. I have already outlined some difference between muta and zina, and those are what prevents 'corruption' spreading. If you have something specific in mind that you think muta does to society, then say what it is.

I just don't see how adultery can corrupt society. Think about it. You're having safe sex, with intention not to have a child. What's the problem? Have the Imams (as) stated the reason for the ban on adultery?

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The father could do this even in a permanent marriage. I don't see why there would be no blame on him for not providing for his own child, whether it was born for a permanent or temporary marriage.

Chances are that a permanent marriage to a wife will be known about by many people, and people will know that children are his. For a temporary marriage, its more likely this will be kept quiet and husband can do a runner and deny any knowledge of being with the woman and even question the parentage of the child if Mutah wife falls pregnant. We've seen some posts on here in the past where guys think their Mutah wives might be pregnant, and many replies, are you sure its yours etc.... I doubt the same will be said if his permanent wife is pregnant.

Edited by Irishman
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I just don't see how adultery can corrupt society. Think about it. You're having safe sex, with intention not to have a child. What's the problem? Have the Imams (as) stated the reason for the ban on adultery?

You don't deserve to be part of the Shia creed to demonize Mutah. Looking down upon something Allah SWT has made halaal for us is very near to Nasibism. Please get lost.

How adultery CAN'T corrupt society? Are you for real? What happened to the oath of being together and establishing a bond of trust and love? All that goes out the window if you believe something like this about adultery.

Edited by Legio Invicta
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I just don't see how adultery can corrupt society. Think about it. You're having safe sex, with intention not to have a child. What's the problem? Have the Imams (as) stated the reason for the ban on adultery?

Do you need to know the reasons why haraam meat is banned? Adultery is a major sin in every major religion that I know of, and Allah (swt) speaks out clearly against it in the Qur'an. We shouldn't need to know the reasons behind it in order not to do it.

To be honest, I don't know if the Imams (as) have given the reasons, but in my opinion the effects of a relaxed attitude to adultery and fornication can be seen in many Western societies: A large number of children who don't know who their father is, people having affairs all the time, young girls have sex outside marriage and getting pregnant, the spread of pornography, etc. Much of these things originated from the 'free love' 1960's era.

When you want to look at the subject of muta, and it's possible effects on society, you have to remember that it only forms a part of Islamic laws regarding sexual ethics. In Islam people are encouraged to get married early, and therefore not be in need of muta. Virgin girls are not encouraged to do muta, and it is not encouraged to do muta with them either. Women that have a muta have to observe an iddah period, which stops them having many sexual partners in a short time, among other things. Because of this, there is no doubt who the father of the child is, and he is attributed to the father. If the woman wants proof that she can provide to the community who may not believe her (although this is a sin on the community's part), she can get her muta husband to sign a written contract. Then you have the hijab rules, restrictions on mixing between men and women, etc.

Muta is only a small part of all this. Too many people imagine that if muta was widely accepted, then it would lead to a decline in sexual morality, but there is no reason to think this once you remember all the other relevant aspects of Islamic law.

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Do you need to know the reasons why haraam meat is banned? Adultery is a major sin in every major religion that I know of, and Allah (swt) speaks out clearly against it in the Qur'an. We shouldn't need to know the reasons behind it in order not to do it.

To be honest, I don't know if the Imams (as) have given the reasons, but in my opinion the effects of a relaxed attitude to adultery and fornication can be seen in many Western societies: A large number of children who don't know who their father is, people having affairs all the time, young girls have sex outside marriage and getting pregnant, the spread of pornography, etc. Much of these things originated from the 'free love' 1960's era.

When you want to look at the subject of muta, and it's possible effects on society, you have to remember that it only forms a part of Islamic laws regarding sexual ethics. In Islam people are encouraged to get married early, and therefore not be in need of muta. Virgin girls are not encouraged to do muta, and it is not encouraged to do muta with them either. Women that have a muta have to observe an iddah period, which stops them having many sexual partners in a short time, among other things. Because of this, there is no doubt who the father of the child is, and he is attributed to the father. If the woman wants proof that she can provide to the community who may not believe her (although this is a sin on the community's part), she can get her muta husband to sign a written contract. Then you have the hijab rules, restrictions on mixing between men and women, etc.

Muta is only a small part of all this. Too many people imagine that if muta was widely accepted, then it would lead to a decline in sexual morality, but there is no reason to think this once you remember all the other relevant aspects of Islamic law.

Ok, I understand. So how long is the iddah period? do men have to observe the iddah, likewise?

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Ok, I understand. So how long is the iddah period? do men have to observe the iddah, likewise?

From Sayed Sistani's website:

2524. * If a woman who has completed nine years of age, and is not in menopause, contracts a temporary marriage, for example, if she marries a man for a period of one month or a year and the period of her marriage comes to an end, or her husband exempts her from the remaining period, she should observe Iddah. If she sees Haidh, she should observe Iddah for two periods of Haidh, and cannot marry again during that period. But if she does not see Haidh, then she should refrain from marrying another man for forty five days. And if she is pregnant, she should observe Iddah till the birth or miscarriage of the child, or for forty five days and as a recommended precaution, she should wait for whichever period is longer.

There is no iddah for a man, just as there is none in permanent marriage.

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From Sayed Sistani's website:

2524. * If a woman who has completed nine years of age, and is not in menopause, contracts a temporary marriage, for example, if she marries a man for a period of one month or a year and the period of her marriage comes to an end, or her husband exempts her from the remaining period, she should observe Iddah. If she sees Haidh, she should observe Iddah for two periods of Haidh, and cannot marry again during that period. But if she does not see Haidh, then she should refrain from marrying another man for forty five days. And if she is pregnant, she should observe Iddah till the birth or miscarriage of the child, or for forty five days and as a recommended precaution, she should wait for whichever period is longer.

There is no iddah for a man, just as there is none in permanent marriage.

I have a problem with that. It seems like the men are taking advantage. Muslim women can't marry non Muslim man but Muslim men can. There's no iddah for men but there is for women. How is this fair?

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I have a problem with that. It seems like the men are taking advantage. Muslim women can't marry non Muslim man but Muslim men can. There's no iddah for men but there is for women. How is this fair?

You could add that Muslim men can marry up to 4 wives (as it says in the Qur'an) and have an unlimitted number of mutas as well, but Muslim women can only marry one man. I guess it isn't 'fair' in a way, but Allah (swt) knows what's best for us.

One of the main reasons for iddah is pretty straightforward: to detemine the paternity of the child. For the same reason, a woman can't have more than one sexual partner at a time. This isn't a problem for the man though, unless he has sex with a fornicatress, which is not advised.

The reason for Muslim women not being able to marry non-Muslim men is that it could lead to corruption in their religion, and Muslims shouldn't take non-Muslims as protectors (Quran 5:51), which is what a husband is.

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You could add that Muslim men can marry up to 4 wives (as it says in the Qur'an) and have an unlimitted number of mutas as well, but Muslim women can only marry one man. I guess it isn't 'fair' in a way, but Allah (swt) knows what's best for us.

One of the main reasons for iddah is pretty straightforward: to detemine the paternity of the child. For the same reason, a woman can't have more than one sexual partner at a time. This isn't a problem for the man though, unless he has sex with a fornicatress, which is not advised.

The reason for Muslim women not being able to marry non-Muslim men is that it could lead to corruption in their religion, and Muslims shouldn't take non-Muslims as protectors (Quran 5:51), which is what a husband is.

Ohh, ok. I understand. You explained pretty well, I get it now. Thank you!

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I have a problem with that. It seems like the men are taking advantage. Muslim women can't marry non Muslim man but Muslim men can. There's no iddah for men but there is for women. How is this fair?

It is fair in that it is laid out to you and you now know what is legal in marriages with Shia men.

The only recourse for a woman is to divorce, observe iddah, and marry another to change sexual partners as Muslim women are restricted to one sexual relationship, but Shia men can have unlimited sexual relationships (above the four nikah) through mutah. This is just what is legal. Men can abuse this by being selfish and in not considering the impact that their actions have on others including themselves. Sometimes short term gain can lead to long term pain.

However, most men would not risk the damage that could come with casual sexual relationships when permanently married. Their time and focus and finances are focused on their wife and children and extended families. On the other hand, there are women have posted on here that they would not be at all upset with their husband having many women for sex and if needed would actively arrange it for them.

It is important for men and women to discuss what would be right for them in a marriage before going ahead. For a woman especially, marriage to someone you don’t know well is not a good idea. You need to be familiar enough to discuss these things and get clear answers that satisfy you. Take as much time as needed. If you dont get the answers you feel will work for you - move on.

One of the main reasons for iddah is pretty straightforward: to detemine the paternity of the child.

Nowadays, DNA will determine the paternity of the child and be more reliable - the only reason I can think of in this time is to prevent the spread of disease.

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Nowadays, DNA will determine the paternity of the child and be more reliable - the only reason I can think of in this time is to prevent the spread of disease.

Like I said, it's just one of the reasons. DNA test only came in recently anyway, and aren't available to everyone.

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I think its wrong, but for MOST part people ABUSE it.....and also because nowadays people do it for desire rather in being in extreme situations, for example, Imam Ali(as) understood that the soldiers were alone, for long period of time, just think of it, for soldiers its so tough being away from beloved ones. and nowadays ppl do mutah cuz they want to date...and so on.

thank you so much for your comment smile.gif

How is Muta abused? forgive my ignorance because I'm learning too.

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I think its wrong, but for MOST part people ABUSE it.....and also because nowadays people do it for desire rather in being in extreme situations, for example, Imam Ali(as) understood that the soldiers were alone, for long period of time, just think of it, for soldiers its so tough being away from beloved ones. and nowadays ppl do mutah cuz they want to date...and so on.

thank you so much for your comment smile.gif

From the situation you mentioned of the soldiers you're talking like they did muta for some reason other than sexual desire.

The reason people did mutah then and do mutah now is the same. And it was permissible then and it is permissible now

Or do you think it is an abuse of permanent marriage even if people enjoy it.

Edited by JimJam
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Basically the way i look at Mutah is that it gives you the permissibility to have a relationship with a woman - legally. Now its upto us whether we want sex out of it or just companionship. With a contract, it clarifies the intentions, which are usually unclear in starting relationships otherwise.

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Basically the way i look at Mutah is that it gives you the permissibility to have a relationship with a woman - legally. Now its upto us whether we want sex out of it or just companionship. With a contract, it clarifies the intentions, which are usually unclear in starting relationships otherwise.

right on the money!! Anti-logic this is very logical of u :P

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