Meaning Of Love I Want To Know

[tajammul1784]

People attract each other in the name of love and then they marry but in most cases there is no love and it is something else which they feel it is love .....i want to know what is this thing which they name love and What is the REAL and TRUE LOVE ????? im talking about opposite gender love plz dont write the stories of Love of Allah and Prophets (pbuh) and Imams A.S.

[Ruq]

The best definition of love i ever read was M Scott Pecks:

"The will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth"

This applies to any kind of genuine love, including the almighties love for us.

[the Neo]

The best definition of love i ever read was M Scott Pecks:

"The will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth"

This applies to any kind of genuine love, including the almighties love for us.

This is nice :rolleyes:

Love, unfortunately, does not guarantee success in marriage, actually marriage can only function if de_romanticized (somehow)!

Edited April 12, 2011 by Bukharisolo

[Guest Jebreil]

(bismillah)

(salam)

Love is not two people looking at each other ... but two people looking in the same direction.

(wasalam)

[Ruq]

This is nice :rolleyes:

Love, unfortunately, does not guarantee success in marriage, actually marriage can only function if de_romanticized (somehow)!

M Scott Peck also says that the opportunity for genuine love is only possible after romantic love has ended:

'Peck seeks to differentiate between love and cathexis. Cathexis is what explains attractions to the opposite sex, however, cathexis is not love. All the same, true love cannot begin in isolation, a certain amount of cathexis is necessary to get sufficiently close to be able to truly love.

Once through the cathexis stage (romantic love), the work of love begins. It is not a feeling. It consists of what you do for another person: "Love is as love does." It is about giving the other person what they need to grow. It is about truly knowing and understanding them.'

I agree with him to an extent. I think the 'myth' of romantic love makes people disatisfied in their relationships when they are over the cathexis stage. When you act lovingly despite not having the feeling of love, this could be considered the greatest love, but in 'romantic' relationships most people have far too high demands and expectations. I think most people break up when affection stops, when one person (or both) stops making the effort to actively take care and act lovingly towards the other. In other words, taking each other for granted.

[tajammul1784]

M Scott Peck also says that the opportunity for genuine love is only possible after romantic love has ended:

'Peck seeks to differentiate between love and cathexis. Cathexis is what explains attractions to the opposite sex, however, cathexis is not love. All the same, true love cannot begin in isolation, a certain amount of cathexis is necessary to get sufficiently close to be able to truly love.

Once through the cathexis stage (romantic love), the work of love begins. It is not a feeling. It consists of what you do for another person: "Love is as love does." It is about giving the other person what they need to grow. It is about truly knowing and understanding them.'

I agree with him to an extent. I think the 'myth' of romantic love makes people disatisfied in their relationships when they are over the cathexis stage. When you act lovingly despite not having the feeling of love, this could be considered the greatest love, but in 'romantic' relationships most people have far too high demands and expectations. I think most people break up when affection stops, when one person (or both) stops making the effort to actively take care and act lovingly towards the other. In other words, taking each other for granted.

so the real one is when you act lovingly despite not having the feeling of love ???????

[komaini kaed]

(bismillah) (salam)

Reality.

There is no true love

Because the love of another= a love for self. Or love of perfection, which We think we'll get him across the other

[the Neo]

so the real one is when you act lovingly despite not having the feeling of love ???????

This is v disturbingly true for a marriage, of today's day and age. Both partners have to settle down, kill all expectations & .... well love in marriage comes from a scientific/clinical approach, it seems. Otherwise it's a lost cause from inception. Then eventually hope for a nice comfort zone, where u can breath in peace, then the perseverance could ultimately lead to varying levels of love but no guarantees. :wacko:

It's a whole different ball_game if u find ur soulmate though.

:rolleyes:

[aboualjafar-almusawi]

People attract each other in the name of love and then they marry but in most cases there is no love and it is something else which they feel it is love .....i want to know what is this thing which they name love and What is the REAL and TRUE LOVE ????? im talking about opposite gender love plz dont write the stories of Love of Allah and Prophets (pbuh) and Imams A.S.

That would be lust. Real love is living and sacrificing for the person. Things like working to support them, spending time to make them a meal, if they are tense to help them. Only then will the romanticized love actually be real and not an affect. When even if you're not feeling romantic, you still care for the other. That is what it is. It's like a mother unconditional love for a child. You don't do it for personal pleasure(lust), but for the other person's happiness. And this can only be realistic if both have unconditional love for each other. Not one does everything and the other sits back, it's a team effort. It's like learning to love them, not "falling in love". The love you have for your parents or your children should be the same for your wife or husband. It's like the love of our Aimmah, who had this type of love for Allah. They sacrificed their lives for him. Not because they wanted to live like they did for fun, but they did it for Allah. That is why you support your family, you don't do it because it's fun, you do it because you have to and care for their well being. Whether it be financially, or emotionally. That is true love.

[sunrise_786]

That would be lust. Real love is living and sacrificing for the person. Things like working to support them, spending time to make them a meal, if they are tense to help them. Only then will the romanticized love actually be real and not an affect. When even if you're not feeling romantic, you still care for the other. That is what it is. It's like a mother unconditional love for a child. You don't do it for personal pleasure(lust), but for the other person's happiness. And this can only be realistic if both have unconditional love for each other. Not one does everything and the other sits back, it's a team effort. It's like learning to love them, not "falling in love". The love you have for your parents or your children should be the same for your wife or husband. It's like the love of our Aimmah, who had this type of love for Allah. They sacrificed their lives for him. Not because they wanted to live like they did for fun, but they did it for Allah. That is why you support your family, you don't do it because it's fun, you do it because you have to and care for their well being. Whether it be financially, or emotionally. That is true love.

indeed.. the only problem is when that love (genuine) would actually be with someone you can never be with. Thats when it gets difficult. Also when you love someone.. anyone linked to them

you automatically love them too. you dont want to see them hurt or would do anything for them (respectively) , love and respect go hand in hand.

wasalam

[aboualjafar-almusawi]

indeed.. the only problem is when that love (genuine) would actually be with someone you can never be with. Thats when it gets difficult. Also when you love someone.. anyone linked to them

you automatically love them too. you dont want to see them hurt or would do anything for them (respectively) , love and respect go hand in hand.

wasalam

True.

[Nasiba]

True.

I agree, ahm i believe love is more about attachment toward a person, the comfort, support, the feeling of being yourself and all that good stuff :) you cant imagine your world without that person, i dont wanna ever fall in love lol unless its my husband lol

tah tah :)

[Iman]

Love = Sacrifice.

The bigger the sacrifice you're willing to make, the greater the love.

[timeless]

(salam)

love is

• sacrifice
• selflessness
• care
• affection
• understanding
• honesty
• trust
• loyalty
• happiness
• warmth
• security
• safety
• patience

wether its love of another person as a partner (husband or wife), your parents, friends, ahlul bayt (as) or Allah (SWT) these emotions would be present if its true love, otherwise if there are doubts, then you may have a flaw in ur love to whoever you are directing it towards.

hope that was able to shed some light, although its a very simple approach of what love is.

inshallah khair.

(wasalam)

[guest786]

Brother Lion (yellow shiachat admin ) and his wife ! Thats what i call true love - Mashallah . They were caught on my telelens camera in Madagascar !

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Edited April 18, 2011 by Chai_wala

[the Neo]

(salam)

love is

• sacrifice
• selflessness
• care
• affection
• understanding
• honesty
• trust
• loyalty
• happiness
• warmth
• security
• safety
• patience

wether its love of another person as a partner (husband or wife), your parents, friends, ahlul bayt (as) or Allah (SWT) these emotions would be present if its true love, otherwise if there are doubts, then you may have a flaw in ur love to whoever you are directing it towards.

hope that was able to shed some light, although its a very simple approach of what love is.

inshallah khair.

(wasalam)

Oh, this was comprehensive and allcovering, although u could minus the emotion of "happiness" from the list, I think.

Brother Lion (yellow shiachat admin ) and his wife ! Thats what i call true love - Mashallah . They were caught on my telelens camera in Madagascar

Cool bro!

[Maryaam]

(bismillah)

(salam)

Love is not two people looking at each other ... but two people looking in the same direction.

(wasalam)

+1

[timeless]

Oh, this was comprehensive and allcovering, although u could minus the emotion of "happiness" from the list, I think.

yea i guess you are right, but it also depends on the situation. there is no such thing as complete happiness, there has to be a problem somewhere and no one lives a perfect life. but if you are content then you are happy. i think only having love for Allah and ahlul bayt brings true happiness.

[the Neo]

yea i guess you are right, but it also depends on the situation. there is no such thing as complete happiness, there has to be a problem somewhere and no one lives a perfect life. but if you are content then you are happy. i think only having love for Allah and ahlul bayt brings true happiness.

We r in Total agreement. B)

Edited April 18, 2011 by Bukharisolo

[timeless]

We r in Total agreement. B)

lool i guess so :)

[tajammul1784]

(salam)

love is

• sacrifice
• selflessness
• care
• affection
• understanding
• honesty
• trust
• loyalty
• happiness
• warmth
• security
• safety
• patience

wether its love of another person as a partner (husband or wife), your parents, friends, ahlul bayt (as) or Allah (SWT) these emotions would be present if its true love, otherwise if there are doubts, then you may have a flaw in ur love to whoever you are directing it towards.

hope that was able to shed some light, although its a very simple approach of what love is.

inshallah khair.

(wasalam)

wow good one thanks a lot :)