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In the Name of God بسم الله

Urgent: Food Made By Mother (non Ahlulkitaab)

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IFK

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I just cant understand what to do...

Noone seems to have ever dealt with this situation I think for some reason?:S ...everyone knows the ruling that Ahlulkitaab is fine...and that nonAhlulkitaab isnt fine generally.. but noone knows what its like if its the person's mother and you live with them...im very surprised..hasnt ANYONE here ever been in this situation?Im sure we've had a few converts who live with families who are aethist/Hindu/Buddist/any other religion...

Didn't you read my earlier post?

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Unless it has pork or something, I cannot see why you cannot eat it. She is your MOTHER. She gave birth to you and fed you and protected you and clothed you. Halal Food? If muslims paid more attention to what came out their mouth than what they put in, then maybe they would be in a better situation than they are now.

I'm sure that Allah thinks highly of your mother since in Islam we hold that paradise is strewn at a mother's feet. Yet, she is not muslim? Allah does not care for her then and anothers food is valid because he bows east 5 times a day? Well, maybe then it is time to rethink our conception of Allah.

The kindest muslims I have met never ate halal food. While the "righteous ones" I have met, well ......

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Unless it has pork or something, I cannot see why you cannot eat it. She is your MOTHER. She gave birth to you and fed you and protected you and clothed you. Halal Food? If muslims paid more attention to what came out their mouth than what they put in, then maybe they would be in a better situation than they are now.

I'm sure that Allah thinks highly of your mother since in Islam we hold that paradise is strewn at a mother's feet. Yet, she is not muslim? Allah does not care for her then and anothers food is valid because he bows east 5 times a day? Well, maybe then it is time to rethink our conception of Allah.

The kindest muslims I have met never ate halal food. While the "righteous ones" I have met, well ......

So what was the name of the religion again that you just created?

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Thank you for the link. Unfortunately, I am pressed for time. I value your input and respect your belief that eating food from ones own mother if she does not pray toward Makkah is haram. I'm sure it makes common sense to as the world being created in six days makes sense to creationists.

Good luck!

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Unless it has pork or something, I cannot see why you cannot eat it. She is your MOTHER. She gave birth to you and fed you and protected you and clothed you. Halal Food? If muslims paid more attention to what came out their mouth than what they put in, then maybe they would be in a better situation than they are now.

I'm sure that Allah thinks highly of your mother since in Islam we hold that paradise is strewn at a mother's feet. Yet, she is not muslim? Allah does not care for her then and anothers food is valid because he bows east 5 times a day? Well, maybe then it is time to rethink our conception of Allah.

The kindest muslims I have met never ate halal food. While the "righteous ones" I have met, well ......

I agree with all of this, but ultimately this is up to the sister to make a decision. Like many people have said islam isnt about making life difficult.

So what was the name of the religion again that you just created?

this seems to be his answer to anyone who thinks islam is more than just black and white laws. I have yet to name my religion :P

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(salam)

Ayatallah Makarim al-Shirazi considers all non-Muslims to be inherently najis on the basis of obligatory precaution. However, he adds that it is not obligatory for Muslims living in non-Muslim majority countries to observe this precaution due to the hardship it might entail (http://www.al-islam.org/hawza/fiqh/RisalaShirazi.pdf).

To the OP, I understand what you're going through, having been in a similar position myself. I suggest you take Ayatallah Makarim al-Shirazi's advice.

Salam

Thankyou for that link. Would be interested to know your story and how you dealt with it if you wouldnt mind? Right now I think I need some real motivation that 'll survive.

Regarding the link, I went through it and the only one I found closest to what you have mentioned above is:

Issue 59 in Rules of Taqleed and Taharah:

The Non-Muslim is impure..........However, when (the Jew or Christian) are in non Islamic countries, and avoiding them has hardship, avoiding them is not obligatory.

Please correct me incase this is not the ruling you were referring to above. I also read the other sections on rules of food and drink,modern issues, and common questions, but this was the most relevant ruling I found.

Unfortunately, this wouldnt apply to me either, for the following reasons:

1- I live in a Muslim country, where the majority is Muslim

2- Even if this were to be considered and my household substituted for the country (ie its a non Islamic household), my family arent Jews or Christians, and the ruling only applies to them - my family do not belong to that Ahlul kitaab.

3- My marja is Aga Sistani, and in the country I live in, Ive only heard of the youth following him. Personally, I had only heard of Aga Khomenei, Aga Khoi, Aga Khameini, Aga Sistani, and a few more very senior ones, till I came to Shiachat. Unfortunately, I stlll do not know all of them. All the imambargahs/ jamaats also mainly give the rulings based on Aga Sistani (for the youth- whoever theadults were following, they continue)...but the point is that according to most of the Ulema, if a nonMuslim touches food with wet hands, it becomes impure. For me, if the majority of the scholars are saying that, EVERYONE where I live is saying that, and all the shia institutes are following that, and all the hadiths say that...........then even if Id switch a marja to one of the few who would allow, Im not sure if Id agree with it from my heart...I dont know if this is right or wrong, but Ive seen for so long that its haraam, i wouldnt believe myself now if I suddenly switch and it becomes halal on a general basis. So im only asking for the relationship angle, since Im stuck between 2 haraams:

The first one- hurting the mother very very much, second one- eating food touched by wet hands of a nonMuslim (ie najis)

Which sin is greater?Im in a Catch 22 situation

I got a reply from najaf.org though..even they said its not allowed...after explaining in some more detail, they gave me contact details of more representatives of Aga Sistani- so I called another person, and even he said its not allowed.......................they say that I have to tell my parents and then tell my mum that her food is najis..

How does a child tell her mother that?I dont know.....and in my situation, it can also be life ruining if I do at this moment, so I guess I would still have to choose between the 2 haraams.

Still waiting for more clarification on the issue though..

JazakAllah for all your help..

It really helps to have some support, even if its from people we do not know personally. Thankyou!!

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One thing ive realised is that people dont bother to do their own research, they just accept what theyre told and look down on those who challenge accepted ideoligies. Most muslims blindly follow without using any common sense or logic and have made the religion so complex and difficult for people to follow. In reality the quran tells us what we can and cant do and says not to create barriers to make our lives harder than they need be.

I mean if in the end you decide her food is najis and you dont eat it, this will cause your mother to be upset and could lead to a breakdown in your relationship, which then means you will be doing something else which contradicts the teachings of islam which is not to upset your parents and certainly never to sabotage your relationship with them.

But seriously, not eating food prepared by your own mother? If this is what we think Allah wants us to do i personally think our idea of god has become twisted.

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Salam

Thankyou for that link. Would be interested to know your story and how you dealt with it if you wouldnt mind? Right now I think I need some real motivation that 'll survive.

(wasalam)

No problem. Insh'Allah, I'll send you a PM when I get the chance (send me a PM if I forget, I've been busy w/ mid-term exams lately).

And yes, that was the ruling which I was referring to.

2. You're correct, the exception here appears to be limited to Jews and Christians. If you're willing take this route, you may want to contact Ayatallah Makarim al-Shirazi's office about the hardship of your particular situation.

3. Well, from the Usuli perspective, whether or not another human being (even a non-Muslim) is inherently najis is far from certain, no matter how famous it may be among the masses. Several hadiths themselves imply that the 'najasa' of a non-Muslim is conditional (i.e. whether or not the non-Muslim in question was contaminated by something najis). Keeping that in mind, it isn't surprising to see some maraji', such as Ayatallah Fadlallah or Ayatallah Jannati, hold the view that all human beings inherently tahir, and others base their fatawa on obligatory precaution. This is one of the core aspects of Usuli derivation of the Shari'a; figuring out the meaning behind the texts. Did the Imams (as) oblige others to avoid non-Muslims due their being inherently najis, or was it an advisory command due to the probability of non-Muslims being accidently contaminated by something najis?

I could understand why you would think switching to another marja' appears to be the 'easy way out', but I fail to see how putting all of this hardship upon yourself, in light of the uncertainty on this issue, is part of Islam.

Hope this helps. May Allah ta'ala guide us to what pleases Him.

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Salam to all,

Well, I finally spoke to an A'alima here and she was kind enough to get me to talk to the Sheikh/A'alim here.

He said that while my parents do not know, I'm in taqiyyah, and being in taqiyyah, I am supposed to eat her food, and if they sit with me all day etc and I can't pray, then that's fine-im actually not allowed to pray then rather(the prayer will be invalid if I risk my life and try to)..

So till they donot know, this is what he has told me.

Thankyou all for all your help and opinions.

He said he will confirm and get back with fatwa to confirm, but for now this is the ruling. Again ofcourse, only for my mother because of taqiyyah:)

JazakAllah to all.

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Salam

I had also emailed a particular Sheikh who was referred by a brother here.

I got to explain my situation in detail and Alhumdulillah, even he gave the same answer-that I can eat in this case.

So thankyou to the dear brother for that as well.

And thankyou to everybody here for their inputs:)

Wasalam

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ÇáÓáÇã Úáíßã æ ÑÍãÉ Çááå æ ÈÑßÇÊå - Peace be upon you as well as Allah's Mercy and Blessings...

Sister IFK,

I hope you are doing well after the decisions...

Concerning the local aalims which you contacted, without any criticism and for my own information (nothing to worry about, i'm shia, and of shia parents so it's cool), i wanted to know the reasoning behind their answers. Have they said that you can stay in taqiyya as long as it can be risky if they know and if you live in your family's house?

By the way, was their answer following the ruling of Grand Ayatollah Sayyid Sistani -ha- or were they representing another marja?

Take care, and good luck...

æ Úáíßã ÇáÓáÇã æ ÑÍãÉ Çááå æ ÈÑßÇÊå - And upon you be Peace as well as Allah's Mercy and Blessings...

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I'm sorry to say this, but all this "kafir are najis, you can't eat the food they make" is extremism in my opinion and I totally disagree.

Non Muslims are najis "spiritually", not literally. Also some people don't know what Islam is so you can't really call them "najis" since they haven't been exposed to the truth.

Furthermore there are good atheists out there regardless of religion and they keep themselves clean.

To the O.P , please don't listen to all of this nonsensical propaganda. It doesn't matter what religion the mother is or whatnot .. As long as she cooks halal food for you .. It's FINE!!

I respect religious scholars , but sometimes their views can be rather extreme, biased and narrow.

Thx

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I'm sorry to say this, but all this "kafir are najis, you can't eat the food they make" is extremism in my opinion and I totally disagree.

Non Muslims are najis "spiritually", not literally. Also some people don't know what Islam is so you can't really call them "najis" since they haven't been exposed to the truth.

Furthermore there are good atheists out there regardless of religion and they keep themselves clean.

To the O.P , please don't listen to all of this nonsensical propaganda. It doesn't matter what religion the mother is or whatnot .. As long as she cooks halal food for you .. It's FINE!!

I respect religious scholars , but sometimes their views can be rather extreme, biased and narrow.

Thx

Do you think they make up laws just because they feel like it? That is quite insulting to the scholars if you ask me, not respectful as you claim.

Their laws come from Quran and Ahlulbayt (as), not based on their own whims and desires.

You're making it seem as if the scholars are out there with an agenda to make your life difficult on purpose without any basis.

Rather than call the laws of Islam "nonsensical propaganda" and end up in a sticky situation when you meet your Lord, ask Allah (swt) to help you understand and submit to His rules. Some laws are hard to get and accept, but the whole point is to submit to God no matter what.

Insulting the laws of Islam is questioning the Omniscience of Allah (swt) and the knowledge of the Ahlulbayt (as).

The issue has been resolved anyway - the OP is an extreme situation, so she is allowed under Taqiyyah I would presume.

Edited by Replicant
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  • 1 month later...
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Bismillahirrahmanirraheem:

Salamun 'alaykum w/r w/b:

People may jump on me for saying this but here goes.

If you fear Allah (aj) and the day of judgement, Then you will ensure that only rizkan halaalan tayyiban goes inside you. My understanding is that Taqiyyah is in situations where ones life is in danger. Will your parents literally Kill you? Maybe I don't know the situation exactly. Allah (aj) provides rizk and so do not worry about sustenance. In regards to breaking ur parents heart, it will hurt them initially but realize that you will have to eventually tell them and they will feel like you were deceiving them all this time.

My advice is you bring two or three ladies from the Shia community one day to your home and have a meeting with your parents. Let them help you explain the decisions you have made to your parents and the lifestyle changes that come with that.

Will there be tears? absolutely.

BUT

Your parents won't disown you and Allah takes care of his servants.

Okay, now everyone can jump on me!

Wassalam w/r w/b:

La fatah ila Ali

Edited by La fatah ila Ali
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All I can say is that sister IFK sounds like a far greater Muslim than I am, because even if I knew for certain that eating my mother's food was haraam, I would find it extremely difficult to not eat her food, while not even being able to tell her why. That fact that you refused to eat your mother's food, while not being absolutely certain it was haraam, but wanting to err on the side of caution, is incredible to me. The emotional turmoil for both you and your mother must have been immense, and I can't even begin to imagine how you coped. May Allah (swt) bless you for your devotion.

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Sorry, just need to put my 2 pence in this conversation...

Don't break your mums heart by refusing to eat her food, she must prepare it with the same amount of love right now as she would do if she was a Muslim. (Naturally, the food must be halal though, surely)

Muslim or not, how would she feel to know her own child thinks she is Dirty? It'd break her heart...

I'm no scholar, so please don't take this as any ruling!!

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Salam

To answer brother La fatah ila Ali...Im a dependant..im a girl..and Im in a Muslim country..the combination DOES NOT work well:( I dont know how they will react, but I can assure you that they will send me back to my home country, where I have never lived, and where my grandparents may most likely kill me (they HATE Islam unbearably) or they may torture me..or get a heart attack themselves...so yes its what i would call fairly extreme...

Brother Fiasco, I think you follow the same religion as I do..so if you were born into a nonAhlul kitaab family, would you be saying the same thing about this religion and asking if its worth it to follow? Just curious:)

To the rest, thankyou all for your support...I kind of fear the time when I get out of taqiyyah (eventually once Im independant inshaAllah) thought I still avoid home food as muchhh as possible, actually TELLING them that I cant eat it..well thats just another ballgame altogether..

Any ideaS on how to tell them? anyone here done it? I was thinking something like "Gods name should be said before and during cooking..thts y shud be Muslims" or something about the energy of person cooking transferring to the food? she believes a lot in that..so for exp when someone is angry, she doesnt like to eat their food if cooked in that state, coz it transfers..etc...

Wasalam..

Edited by IFK
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1) Just keep quiet, no need to tell them you're a Muslim or anything, or that you're not allowed to eat, etc, etc. No need to mention it at all. Keep it for later

2) When you are independent, go find some Shia friends, meet their families, etc, make sure you have a web of support. Then, and only then, reveal that you became a Muslim.

I can recall a funny incident, one of my mother's friend's daughters went to America for higher studies, then she married a Hindu guy and became Hindu herself.

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  • 2 years later...
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Salam ,

I am in the same situation my family are not ahlul kitab and my father saw me once while i was praying and he said to me when you really are a muslim i kill myself i dont know what i should do ..

Wa Salam

 

Maybe do taqiyyah.

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