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In the Name of God بسم الله

My Love For You Is Douchey / Anthology Of Douche

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baradar_jackson

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(bismillah)

Firstly, I would like to thank all of you for your spontaneous show of support. As everyone in Shiachat has noticed, millions of members have held up pictures and slogans expressing their desire for me, a humble servant of the people, to be freed from the oppressive chat jail which the taghut Lion King of Shiachat has confined me to. Truly, it is the spontaneous and uncontrolled outreaches of the people which strengthen us, Mahdavist and myself, in our poetic efforts (which are a form of dawah). I give my sincere thanks to all of you, and I pray that I am with you all soon.

Secondly, I would like to expose some poetic fitnah between the two geniouses. Mahdavist insisted on our sticking with the love theme, where I thought we were taking it too far. So I have presented this poem to you with two titles. You may choose whichever one best suits you. Think of it as a poem title election. But remember: a vote for either title is a vote for the system. You must not let this voting right to become an opportunity for impure elements -- and the imperialist jackals who support them -- to deviate our system.

So, without any further introduction, here I present you with the third poem in our Divan:

"My Love for You is Douchey," or “Anthology of Douche"

My love for you is douchey,

You're more bitter than Balushi

Your humour's raw like Sushi,

Views more liberal than Abdolkarim Soroushi

Why are you such a hater,

Is it because you're Canadian?

Or because when you were younger,

You got rejected by an Iranian?

I love it when you stalk me,

Trying to ridicule every post

Don't tell me you're still offended,

That I didn't join you for a toast

When you pray jama'a behind women,

Is it really for equal chances?

You might as well confess,

To attempting multiple glances

Put down those books of poetry,

Come and read ours instead

An excess of liberal nonsense,

Puts dubious ideas in your head

Why don't you just relax,

And come witness a live stoning

We could stop over at Qom,

Where you can join the debate on cloning

Your name is Arabic,

Which causes much perplex

Given that you're a pre-Hajj,

White version of Malcolm X

You obsess over my grammar,

Which I would expect a douche to do

If only you put more thought,

Into the c.rap that you spew

You talk as if gaining profit,

Is an Islamic obligation

Well tell that to the scholars,

Who aren't seeing your justification

You're here to enlighten us,

Or so you claim

Still you are a white man,

Playing this brown man's game

You have nothing but contempt,

For Islamic civilization

One wonders how much thought you put,

Into this religious destination

Take out your earphones,

Stop listening to Bach

Instead listen to some Helali,

Which is like our indie rock

Your every other word is “imbecile,”

Even though you're over 30

You won't go on ziyarat,

Because you say Karbala is too dirty

Take this for now and smoke it,

You’ll get another dose later

We’re the meddling priests you so despise,

And you’re an awful debater

Edited by baradar_jackson
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I dont know how this sort of "foolery" ties in with Islamic akhlaq.

Khawwat bin Jubayr al-Ansari, before the advent of Islam, roved about houses and committed adultery with women. When he was asked what he did, he claimed that he looked for his lost camel. Khawwat became a Muslim at the hand of the Prophet (a.s.). After some time, he came to the Prophet (a.s.). The Prophet (a.s.) said to him humorously, “What about your lost camel?”

Khawwat replied politely, “O messenger of Allah, Islam has hobbled it.”

Nathr ad-Durr, vol. 2 p. 132, at-Tathkirah al-Hamduniyyah, vol. 9 p. 362.

(Quoted in Baqir Sharif al-Qurashi, The Life of Muhammad, p. 102)

#akhbaristyledebate

Edited by baradar_jackson
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(salam)

This is just okay, but not as good as your last two. The beginning was okay but then it became a bit abusive.

I don't think he is :)

Hold up - you mean he's not talking about you? I'm so confused. Whoever could he be directing this to?

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(bismillah)

(salam)

Get a grip people. Notice the title is My Love For You Is Douchey. If the poet didn't care about you he would have ignored you. =)

Edited by Hameedeh
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Khawwat bin Jubayr al-Ansari, before the advent of Islam, roved about houses and committed adultery with women. When he was asked what he did, he claimed that he looked for his lost camel. Khawwat became a Muslim at the hand of the Prophet (a.s.). After some time, he came to the Prophet (a.s.). The Prophet (a.s.) said to him humorously, “What about your lost camel?”

Khawwat replied politely, “O messenger of Allah, Islam has hobbled it.”

Nathr ad-Durr, vol. 2 p. 132, at-Tathkirah al-Hamduniyyah, vol. 9 p. 362.

(Quoted in Baqir Sharif al-Qurashi, The Life of Muhammad, p. 102)

#akhbaristyledebate

Is that why you avatar has a person on a horse :P

And good to see you following my what can be percieved as an Anti-Akhbari rage in one of the threads.

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Two.

words.

Is "duh" a real word, kadhim? Come on dude. Step your game up.

Is that why you avatar has a person on a horse :P

Dude that's not just a person on a horse.

That's Sattar Khan, who was NOT an adulterer. :dry:

And good to see you following my what can be percieved as an Anti-Akhbari rage in one of the threads.

Oh word?

Let me see. Where is it?

We still need to determine whether we want to play a man-to-man defence or a zone defence (against the Akhbari Dream Team).

If we're playing man-to-man, then I got Bhooka.

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(salam)

(bismillah)

We still need to determine whether we want to play a man-to-man defence or a zone defence (against the Akhbari Dream Team).

If we're playing man-to-man, then I got Bhooka.

Well if you play zone, I would suggest a 2-3 zone against us. Although Macisaac and I on the wing is pretty unstoppable.

(salam)

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