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In the Name of God بسم الله
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peacefulwarrior

My Debt To Iraq And It's People, A Confession.

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Hello everyone, I am posting this with a throwaway account from behind a proxy, and I hope I am in the right section. I don't know how to start, so I am just going to jump right in, please try not to judge me until you have read my whole post.

I am a former United States Marine, at first in counter-terrorism and then in infantry. You know that bigoted, hateful, kind of person? That was me when I joined the corps. It was not until my deployment to Iraq that I saw the what we were really doing in Iraq... destroying it at the behest of rich old men in Washington, for only the benefit of said people. My military time was spent in various places in Anbar province. My unit was a very combat oriented unit, and I personally was a witness to things I wish to forget, but cannot. I bought the lie I was told by my own military for so long, but I realized that my country had been using me and my brothers for evil against the Iraqi people. While I thankfully never was forced to take a life, I am still guilty by association, regardless of my ignorance. I am here today because I am reaching out to anyone who will hear me.

I am sorry, so very sorry, for everything my country and I have done to you and your people. I am sorry for the massive deaths, invasion, for the humiliation, for the fear, for the mismanagement of infrastructure, for the raping of resources, for everything. I know "I'm sorry" is inadequate in every way for what has been done, but I know no other words that are sufficient. I would ask for forgiveness if I felt I deserved it, but I do not. I hold no more desire for war or violence, and there is no more hate in me, even for those who fought and killed my own brothers in arms. Do you know why? Because one day I realized that if I had been born in Iraq, I would have probably fought the occupation too. How could a person see their family "accidentally" bombed or shot and not turn their sadness and rage into revenge? I tear up just thinking about it.

Since I got out of the military, (I felt I could not attempt to repair my morality if still in) I have spent a great deal of time studying the middle east in general in an attempt to figure out what went wrong, and how to prevent this from happening to a future generation (we Americans seem to start a war every 20 years or so). I also studied philosophy to try and educate myself to other ideas. I have learned a great deal, but I have no good answers, and I have always felt like I owe an unpayable debt to Iraq for what I was a part of. I make posts on reddit.com to attempt to tell people who don't know, I started a blog to try to tell the world, but still I feel like I am not doing anything to actually help the world or Iraq.

So just tonight, it hit me. I want to move to Iraq and help restore the country in any way I can. I don't know if this is realistic, and maybe I need to wait until things are more settled down, but the more I think about it the more I feel it is the right thing to do. I know that if I go back to Iraq as a civilian, I will probably die, but at least I can die for a cause that is worthy. Am I crazy? Have you ever heard of such a crazy thing, an former american military guy who has forsaken violence and wants to move to Iraq permanently? I don't even know where I would go. There are more obstacles. My Arabic has almost faded completely away. I was raised a southern baptist christian, but have since concluded that religion was one of the main tools used to fool us to fight, so I have abandoned my faith and am now an Atheist. I almost want to forsake my given christian name. I am tall and big and white as can be... I would be a target that stood out. Who would even accept me? With what I have told you, would you accept me?

Maybe these are just the ramblings of a crazy person, but all I know is that my heart is broken for Iraq and it's people, and one day I hope that I can do at least a little good, because I am so tired of the evil in the world....

I hope I have not offended anyone too much by posting this, but thank you for listening to me all the same.

As-Salāmu `alaykumu,

peacefulwarrior

Edited by peacefulwarrior

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my little avice for you:

1.) get two books by Ahmed Deedat -"The Choice:Islam or Christianity" Volume 1 and Volume 2

2.) get the book "The Truth Revealed" by Rahmatullah Kairanvi

3.) Go to youtube and watch and listen to the lectures and debates of Ahmad Deedat and Professor Hassanain Rajabali.particularly check on youtube for "Refuting the Original Sin and the Crucifixion Hassanain Rajabali".that was a dialogue with a pastor in the USA,who i think is baptist (correct me if i'm wrong).

item 1&2,i personally can send them to you through email (PM me your email ad).you simply have to spend some time online for item 3 to listen to the videos of Deedat and Rajabali on youtube.Rajabali also has many beautiful lectures on theism,morality and religion.these are the best materials i believe can help you.

read them and think and ponder.you will see the beauty in Islam and become a believing muslim.then you can move to Iraq and live in the holy city of Najaf or Karbala.

the stage your life rests on right now,only Islam can take that guilt away.when you embrace islam,all you past sins are wiped off and you are like the day your mother gave birth to you.i believe i have sincerely given you the best advice on the face of the earth anyone can offer you.

Edited by mehdi soldier

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(salam)

It takes a great deal of courage to come out in the open like you have. Though you thankfully never took a life, you are still troubled to be a part of it all in some way, and let that trouble be a reminder and driver to your conscience. Hold on to your conscience and never let it go. The things you are doing right now, e.g. making a blog and awareness methods etc. are extremely commendable. Not only have you realized the bitter truth, you are now actively working to spread it brother, and that is good!

About giving up belief in God, I advise you not to let go of it. While it's true that religion has been used as a tool for war right from humanity's start, it is also true that religion helps to curb it. There is a side to religion that no one else can instill in you, that you alone must journey to research and discover. Just as bro Mehdi Soldier has said, try looking into Islam (Shia Islam that is). You will be surprised to find how much religious you can become, though you are already on the right path; you just don't see what's at the end of the road yet because it's not visible for now. Strive like never before.

You've already come out in the open. I doubt going to Iraq is going to be beneficial especially if you stand out as an American White, as tensions there are high when it comes to tolerating the people that are occupying their lands. Just take it one step at a time. Your path will open up to you slowly Inshallah, and you will achieve greatness. Just hold on to your conscience, and NEVER EVER EVER let it go.

(wasalam)

Edited by Legio Invicta

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(salam) (bismillah)

peacefullwarrior

I'm Iraqi, and I can tell you that the only thing that will save my country is for your former officials to pack up and leave, we will kindly ask first, but if they insist on keeping even a single soldier or american corporation on our soil, they will be driven out by force. You see the winds of change blowing across the region? God willing it will breath life back into our culture of resistance.

The best advice I can give you as an equal in humanity, is to talk to your 'brothers in arms' who are still stationed there and in Afghanistan, and the youth that's being recruited back home in the states. If you see those dogs recruiting at universities and colleges, let your voice be heard and tell them what you've just told us. Believe me that's the most honorable thing you can do as an ex-marine, as I'm sure you'll agree, if there's nobody willing to fight the wars for your imperialist colonialists, you wouldn't have to think about going back and to try and fix what they've done, and probably get killed in the process.

I've got a lot to ask you about your experience in Babylon.

Peace

Edited by thecontentedself

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Having slept on it and thought about the matter for a while, I think that for the time being I may best serve Iraq by bringing awareness to the problem. Being former military I think I would have a special place in telling the military what they are doing wrong, and if enough of us start to realize it, that would be good. I think you said it best, if all the soldiers realized what they were really a part of, and stopped enlisting, then there wouldn't be an army to send in the first place. I think this is where America needs to focus, to stop the glorification of the military and war. Thank you all for your responses, they are encouraging, and if you want to ask me any questions please feel free.

Peacefulwarrior

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(salam) (bismillah)

peacefullwarrior

I'm Iraqi, and I can tell you that the only thing that will save my country is for your former officials to pack up and leave, we will kindly ask first, but if they insist on keeping even a single soldier or american corporation on our soil, they will be driven out by force. You see the winds of change blowing across the region? God willing it will breath life back into our culture of resistance.

The best advice I can give you as an equal in humanity, is to talk to your 'brothers in arms' who are still stationed there and in Afghanistan, and the youth that's being recruited back home in the states. If you see those dogs recruiting at universities and colleges, let your voice be heard and tell them what you've just told us. Believe me that's the most honorable thing you can do as an ex-marine, as I'm sure you'll agree, if there's nobody willing to fight the wars for your imperialist colonialists, you wouldn't have to think about going back and to try and fix what they've done, and probably get killed in the process.

I've got a lot to ask you about your experience in Babylon.

Peace

Peace,

I would echo the above quoted comments.

You should look into joining your local/regional chapter of Iraqi Veterans Against War.

Your story and experiences would be most beneficial and effective in convincing the American public, by speaking to your families, communities, churches, media, etc.

Let Iraqis handle their rebuilding of their own country. They don;t need outsiders help, but it would be good to have minimal influence from American government and corporations.

May Allah guide you to the best of paths.

PM me if you have any questions.

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@peacefulwarrior

It takes a brave person to realize what you have, I am sure you are alive today to make amends, have you considered joining IVAW? Please speak out as much as you can, and prevent other young men from killing and dying for the rich to get richer.

Going back to Iraq right now would be a mistake because the country is still at war and it is no time to rebuild, the best thing to happen to Iraq right now is for the Americans to leave. You won't die if you go back, but you would need have a good contact there to meet you, otherwise you'll be suspected as being a spy, or offed by your own intelligence agencies.

and my respect to thecontentedself and to the Iraqi resistance, long may it live.

Edited by Syrian Sister

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Good for You brother, for sure You have a spirit of God within You and I strongly believe if local people of iraq are properly informed and educated they can make a big changes in their lives and a war can end sooner than anticipated.

God Bless You.

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3.) Go to youtube and watch and listen to the lectures and debates of Ahmad Deedat and Professor Hassanain Rajabali.particularly check on youtube for "Refuting the Original Sin and the Crucifixion Hassanain Rajabali".that was a dialogue with a pastor in the USA,who i think is baptist (correct me if i'm wrong).

Love Hassanain Rajabali's lectures :) you have these books in english PDF Mehdi Soldier?

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Understanding the problems that are facing the Iraqi people and who is the instigator of those problems is the first step in healing the wounds that are continuously being inflicted daily. Iraqi can never heal while the thorns still dig deeply being pushed in even deeper by those who call themselves leaders!

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(salam)

It takes a great deal of courage to come out in the open like you have. Though you thankfully never took a life, you are still troubled to be a part of it all in some way, and let that trouble be a reminder and driver to your conscience. Hold on to your conscience and never let it go. The things you are doing right now, e.g. making a blog and awareness methods etc. are extremely commendable. Not only have you realized the bitter truth, you are now actively working to spread it brother, and that is good!

About giving up belief in God, I advise you not to let go of it. While it's true that religion has been used as a tool for war right from humanity's start, it is also true that religion helps to curb it. There is a side to religion that no one else can instill in you, that you alone must journey to research and discover. Just as bro Mehdi Soldier has said, try looking into Islam (Shia Islam that is). You will be surprised to find how much religious you can become, though you are already on the right path; you just don't see what's at the end of the road yet because it's not visible for now. Strive like never before.

You've already come out in the open. I doubt going to Iraq is going to be beneficial especially if you stand out as an American White, as tensions there are high when it comes to tolerating the people that are occupying their lands. Just take it one step at a time. Your path will open up to you slowly Inshallah, and you will achieve greatness. Just hold on to your conscience, and NEVER EVER EVER let it go.

(wasalam)

Religion usually brings out the worst in people. Most religions believe they are the chosen ones; their religion is supreme above anyone else's. I agree with you that America's foreign policy has been destructive and illegal, but the happenings in the middle east with the fundamentalists is a much bleaker future. Islamic countries are ripe with rascism, discrimination, and oppression. What is needed is a Humanistic approach that regards each person as equal regardless of culture, religion, beliefs, or sexual orientation.

The World needs to learn from its mistakes and be able to reform and progress to its future needs. Relying on unchangeable and ancient laws does no one any good.

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I disagree. Men have, and will continue, to die and strive for what is close to their hearts by means violent and peaceful. You cannot change this. Even now men are sent to fight and die for 'human rights' and 'democracy'. Men followed Marx as passionately as Christ. Your society that does not care about culture, religion, race or past is one without any of these things. To say one religion or culture is as good as another makes them both without meaning or value. It is an insult to all faiths and cultures. It is a world without faith, honor, culture or bonds, a mere period of hedonism, of hiding from pain until a meaningless death. May God preserve us from such a fate.

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