Jump to content
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!) ×
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!)
In the Name of God بسم الله
Sign in to follow this  
imconfused

Haraam Relationship - Regret It Everyday

Rate this topic

Recommended Posts

S/a all

I'm in my high school years.... and I've fallen into terrible haraam, so much... I feel like i'm swimming in hell :'(

I need to talk to someone, desperately, who knows a lot about life, relationships, tawbah, and.... someone who can help me, I need someone to guide me and help me out of this depressing moment in my life... I don't want to talk to my local alims because I am too ashamed of what i've done.... can someone please, preferably a well learned, male (because I am male) please please please give me their contact details so that i may tell them my story... and ask for help...

If anyone is willing to help me :( PLEASE send me your contact details because right now i'm living life in regret and I can't take it :(

Preferably a shia.. and follower of seestani... :'(

Edited by imconfused

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Tawba is for everyone as Allah is the Most Forgiving. No matter what you've done, if you seek tawba Allah will forgive you. It's the only thing that gives us humans hope in this life as we are sinners. It's good to see you admit to doing wrong and that you're seeking tawba :) Don't worry bro Allah will forgive you as long as you repent. I hope one of the brothers here on this forum can help you Insha Allah :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Salam brother.. i think the only problem you have, is with forgiving yourself. You need to accept the mistake you made in your life, big or small, and learn from it. Repent to Allah and thank him that you still are living to make up for the mistake you made, and now you live your life the way you wish. stop holding yourself back

you are being your own worst enemy.

forgive yourself.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Salam brother.. i think the only problem you have, is with forgiving yourself. You need to accept the mistake you made in your life, big or small, and learn from it. Repent to Allah and thank him that you still are living to make up for the mistake you made, and now you live your life the way you wish. stop holding yourself back

you are being your own worst enemy.

forgive yourself.

Il never be as good as i could have, in the eyes of Allah :( its always gonna be a stain in my life... yeah ill move forward but i could have not done it and lived a much better life.. that oppurtunity is gone..

Salam,

Don't tell anyone about your past (jahiliyah) actions.

Make taubah...

Don't repeat the same actions

Move on..

Layman

if its to do with a relationship, wont i have to tell my future wife? or my parents...?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Il never be as good as i could have, in the eyes of Allah :( its always gonna be a stain in my life... yeah ill move forward but i could have not done it and lived a much better life.. that oppurtunity is gone..

if its to do with a relationship, wont i have to tell my future wife? or my parents...?

I was just reading about Qadha and Qadr..maybe Allah wanted you to commit that sin because he wants you to learn from it and never do it again? I understand you feel bad, but you need to move on. It's good remembering your sins and feeling bad about them because that'll help you to not commit the same sin again.

:)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was just reading about Qadha and Qadr..maybe Allah wanted you to commit that sin because he wants you to learn from it and never do it again? I understand you feel bad, but you need to move on. It's good remembering your sins and feeling bad about them because that'll help you to not commit the same sin again.

:)

Nope, it is completeyl wrong to think like that, Allah (swt) would never mislead a believer, but a believer will mislead himself, hence what the above brother has done is let his "nafs" take over him, thus "Alnafs allawamma"!!

Allah (swt) says in the Quran:

لَا أُقْسِمُ بِيَوْمِ الْقِيَامَةِ .................................Nay! I swear by the day of resurrection.

وَلَا أُقْسِمُ بِالنَّفْسِ اللَّوَّامَةِ.........................Nay! I swear by the self-accusing soul.

أَيَحْسَبُ الْإِنْسَانُ أَلَّنْ نَجْمَعَ عِظَامَهُ.................Does man think that We shall not gather his bones?

Please do not confuse this with predestination! Humans are not predestined to sin!!

As for the brother asking for help, the master of the faithfuls, imam Ali (a.s) says:

"The sin which makes you sad and repentant is more liked by Allah than the good deed which turns you arrogant."

You have taken the first step and have acknowledged your sin, the next step is to seek repentance and make a promise not to sin again, my advice, trust me seek a sheike, they are friendly and approachable, if you are embarrassed, then make yourself a mediator for yourself, hence, tell the sheike you know of a brother who has committed this this and that sins and he is in dire need of help to repent, what do you advice the brother to do?

Inshalla you succeed, good luck brother, and after recentness, train your brain to overtake the accusing soul :)

(wasalam)

Edit: The ayyat above is from Surah Al-Qiyaama (the resurerction) ayya 1-3.

Edited by sn00pking

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Il never be as good as i could have, in the eyes of Allah :( its always gonna be a stain in my life... yeah ill move forward but i could have not done it and lived a much better life.. that oppurtunity is gone.

Forget the past. You cannot change the past.

God is the Most Forgiving of the Forgiving.

I think you have this huge regret and have already repented.

Let your repentance b a source of determination for you - determination never to fall into sin again.

Now look to the future and try to lead a good life.

If you keep thinking about the past, you will destroy your future too.

if its to do with a relationship, wont i have to tell my future wife? or my parents...?

You don't have to.

In fact, you should never tell anyone except God, about your sins.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

S/a all

I'm in my high school years.... and I've fallen into terrible haraam, so much... I feel like i'm swimming in hell :'(

I need to talk to someone, desperately, who knows a lot about life, relationships, tawbah, and.... someone who can help me, I need someone to guide me and help me out of this depressing moment in my life... I don't want to talk to my local alims because I am too ashamed of what i've done.... can someone please, preferably a well learned, male (because I am male) please please please give me their contact details so that i may tell them my story... and ask for help...

If anyone is willing to help me :( PLEASE send me your contact details because right now i'm living life in regret and I can't take it :(

Preferably a shia.. and follower of seestani... :'(

No one can forgive you for an act you've done against God only God can, no one knows if they have been forgiven only Allah (swt) knows, only he can forgive who you've committed the bad against, you have to make sure you do the best of the taubah and understand Allah (swt) is mercyful, have hope as Allah(swt) is hope and know that Allah (swt)has infinite mercy.

What bad you have commited do the opposite and not only refrain from it, tell others (including the ones that you may have comitted the sin with) about this sin and its punishments and about how forgiving your lord is.

If your a shia you dont have to control your desires as you can do mutah, if you are sunni you will need to control your desires (fasting and doing zikr helps) and it is possible to control your desires. Again if you are shia Do mutah with her or any non-syed lady, as many as you like as your religion allows it , aslong as you bide by the laws.

If its an act which marrage cannot make halal, work on your thoughts and distinguish between which is right and which is wrong from what quran and hadeeth tell you, work towards thinking straight and have hope and it will be ok.

finally, keep searching and seeking knowledge as there are 73 sects and 1 will be the true path, there will also be 13 sects claiming to follow imam Ali (saw) only 1 will be the true one (the1 true path may only have a few followers, a higher number of followers/believers of a sect does not make the sect the true path, there may only be a few) and will be going heaven only, search for it, this is the route towards heaven no matter how bad or good you have been.

We only live once, make a change, make a difference, time doesn't come back to you. but you go back to him (swt).

So feeling bad is a good thing, infact you should feel worse then you are, it will help you more towards being forgiven, even talking back to your mother can cause you to remain in hel for many years. So dont listen to these people who say you need to only forgive yourself as THEY ARE ASSUMING GOD has forgiven you, they dont know you nor do they know how you really are. repent and hope. Allah is the forgiver.

Continue with your life but never forget your sins, always remeber death and grave.

Edited by alialiali

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

salaam op

there are types of sins

some types will involve the direct attack on the right of the others and these are the most dangerous because you will need the forgiveness of other creatures and no creature is merciful like god

and other type which only involves yourself and god

I am assuming we are talking about the second type:

If we draw and analogy and say that the sin is like a self imposed medical disease , like willingly drinking some poisonous stuff that causes the harm and hurt.

I give you the best way that god would forgive your sin

look at that disease and look at its symptoms and study the root causes of that disease and investigate what immunizations are there that god has prescribed so that people avoid falling victim to this disease

once you establish the root cause of the disease and the solution that would prevent that disease then it will be your life duty to inform others about the solution and prevention and offer this prevention to other human beings...

in the process of your offering of this prevention vaccine you will face many hardships and you need to promise that you will not give it up even if the whole world stands against you while you are trying to offer this vaccine because you already established with certainty that its the solution.

you don't have to say details to others but if you wish u can talk to us on pm too.

salaam

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

S/a all

I'm in my high school years.... and I've fallen into terrible haraam, so much... I feel like i'm swimming in hell :'(

I need to talk to someone, desperately, who knows a lot about life, relationships, tawbah, and.... someone who can help me, I need someone to guide me and help me out of this depressing moment in my life... I don't want to talk to my local alims because I am too ashamed of what i've done.... can someone please, preferably a well learned, male (because I am male) please please please give me their contact details so that i may tell them my story... and ask for help...

If anyone is willing to help me :( PLEASE send me your contact details because right now i'm living life in regret and I can't take it :(

Preferably a shia.. and follower of seestani... :'(

bismillah.gifsalam.gif

According to the ahadith I have read once you commit a sin, a black dot appears on your heart. Every time you commit that sin again, the black dot grows until it has covered your heart completely. When it has covered your heart then you will stop thinking of it as a bad sin and it will become a habit then there is no turning back and along with that you will not be forgiven. It is good that you feel bad, don't ever try to make yourself feel better about it. The worse you feel about it the better your chances of having it forgiven. Imam Hassan Al-Askari has said: "Taming an ignorant and preventing a habitual from his habits are as a miracle". I would try to figure out the path to repentance for what you have done and possibly ask your marja what to do if it is that serious.

No one can forgive you for an act you've done against God only God can, no one knows if they have been forgiven only Allah (swt) knows, only he can forgive who you've committed the bad against, you have to make sure you do the best of the taubah and understand Allah (swt) is mercyful, have hope as Allah(swt) is hope and know that Allah (swt)has infinite mercy.

What bad you have commited do the opposite and not only refrain from it, tell others (including the ones that you may have comitted the sin with) about this sin and its punishments and about how forgiving your lord is.

If your a shia you dont have to control your desires as you can do mutah, if you are sunni you will need to control your desires (fasting and doing zikr helps) and it is possible to control your desires. Again if you are shia Do mutah with her or any non-syed lady, as many as you like as your religion allows it , aslong as you bide by the laws.

If its an act which marrage cannot make halal, work on your thoughts and distinguish between which is right and which is wrong from what quran and hadeeth tell you, work towards thinking straight and have hope and it will be ok.

finally, keep searching and seeking knowledge as there are 73 sects and 1 will be the true path, there will also be 13 sects claiming to follow imam Ali (saw) only 1 will be the true one (the1 true path may only have a few followers, a higher number of followers/believers of a sect does not make the sect the true path, there may only be a few) and will be going heaven only, search for it, this is the route towards heaven no matter how bad or good you have been.

We only live once, make a change, make a difference, time doesn't come back to you. but you go back to him (swt).

So feeling bad is a good thing, infact you should feel worse then you are, it will help you more towards being forgiven, even talking back to your mother can cause you to remain in hel for many years. So dont listen to these people who say you need to only forgive yourself as THEY ARE ASSUMING GOD has forgiven you, they dont know you nor do they know how you really are. repent and hope. Allah is the forgiver.

Continue with your life but never forget your sins, always remeber death and grave.

You brought up some excellent points but one of your points were a little confusing. You said something about telling everyone about your sin, from what I have heard that is Haram. As a matter of fact if someone asks you whether you commit a certain sin or not, you are to lie and say you don't even if you do. If you meant that he should tell everyone of the dangers of this sin, without associating himself, then you are 100% correct.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I read this proverb the other day that might help you:

During his pilgrimage to Mecca, a holy man began to feel the presence of God.

In the midst of a trance he knelt down, hid his face and prayed:

“Lord, I ask for only one thing in life: that I be given the grace of never offending you.”

“I cannot grant you that grace,” answered the Almighty. ‘If you don’t offend me I shall have no reason to pardon you.

” If I have no need to pardon you, soon you will also forget the importance of mercy towards others.

“So go on your way with Love and let me grant pardon now and again so that you don’t forget that virtue as well.”

We are all perfectly imperfect and its our short comings that expose us to the grace of God. Stop wasting time feeling all terrible about yourself and take it as an experience that you can learn from. You don't need to convince God to forgive you, promise Him you won't do it again or cry in a corner and regret it. He isnt your mother, but actually, someone far more rational and understanding lol.

Edited by Mehvish

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
You said something about telling everyone about your sin, from what I have heard that is Haram.As a matter of fact, if someone asks you whether you commit a certain sin or not, you are to lie and say you don't, even if you do.

You are absolutely right.

We should never disclose our sins to anyone, except to God.

If you are a Shia, you don’t have to control your desires. as you can do muta’

It is easy for you to say that.

But it is not always easy to find someone to do muta' with.

And there are lots of other reasons why, even if someone is available, one just cannot do it for various reasons.

In the country where I come from and also in the country I currently live in, it is almost impossible to find someone to do muta’ with.

And please don't forget that a girl of good character will not accede to someone's request for muta', unless she is very poor or someone manages to seduce her somehow. If someone accepts your offer of muta', then either she is not a very good character, in which case the muta' is not valid anyway, or she is in love with you or she is over-sexed.

And if she somehow accepts it, you could be spoiling the chances of her future married life. That is a very selfish thing to do.

The only reason why a woman of good character would be happy to do muta' with you is if you intend to marry her later. But clearly, you are not talking about muta' with that intention.

Do you think you would like to marry a woman who has done muta' with someone else ?

In the olden days, when people had slaves, it may have been easier to do muta’, but it is not so easy now.

The best thing really is to try and restrain your desires.

As the Quran also says :-

[4:25]

"And whoever among you has not within his power sufficient means to marry free believing women, then (he may marry) of those whom your right hands possess from among your believing maidens; and Allah knows best your faith: you are (sprung) the one from the other; so marry them with the permission of their masters, and give them their dowries justly, they being chaste, not fornicating, nor receiving paramours; and when they are taken in marriage, then if they are guilty of indecency, they shall suffer half the punishment which is (inflicted) upon free women. This is for him among you who fears falling into evil.

But if you abstain, that is even better for you, and Allah is Forgiving, Merciful."

Stop wasting time feeling all terrible about yourself and take it as an experience that you can learn from. You don't need to convince God to forgive you, promise Him you won't do it again or cry in a corner and regret it.

Excellent advice !

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As the old saying goes, "if shaitan reminds you of your past, remind him of his present/future.'

When God gave us the capacity to regret our past actions, it wasn't so we could simply beat ourselves up for the mistakes we've made... Every aspect of human nature is ultimately designed to bring man back to his Lord. You can convert your ability to regret into a spiritual weapon if you forgive yourself; because in doing so, you can ask His forgiveness with a whole, mended heart insh'Allah. You'll feel so much better when you realize that what you've done does not have to define who you are or limit who you can become.

As for this notion of having a stain on your record... if you do proper tawbah in a way that God loves, all your past sins will be erased. Don't underestimate His mercy. :)

In regards to telling people, there's a really important phrase in the Qur'an to keep in mind: God gives dignity to whom He wants, and indignity to whom He wants. If you do tawbah and become a better being for His sake, trust Him to maintain your dignity. Stop announcing your mistakes to the world; if you have the courage to turn your back on those acts, you wholly deserve to be respected because it's a rare man who can truly reform himself.

If it'll help you move forward in life, confiding in a mature, nonjudgmental friend may be a good idea. Sometimes what seem like end-of-the-world-level mistakes to us can be put into perspective by an objective outsider. But make sure your confidante is male, trustworthy, and humble.

If you need practical steps or advice, here's something: read Dua e Kumail and Salat al Ghufaila frequently. Reflect on the meanings. It'll change your life. If your heart becomes thirsty for conversation with God, stay awake at night and read Salat ul Layl.

Also, refer to this page for tons of duas, amaal, and salaat you can read specifically for forgiveness:

http://www.duas.org/seekforg.htm

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
If it'll help you move forward in life, confiding in a mature, nonjudgmental friend may be a good idea. Sometimes what seem like end-of-the-world-level mistakes to us can be put into perspective by an objective outsider. But make sure your confidante is male, trustworthy, and humble.

I don't agree with this advice.

My advice - Never trust anyone with your secrets.

As soon as you give out your secrets to someone, you enslave yourself to that person.

The best way to move forward, if you are having any difficulties, is to ask God for forgiveness. And do Zikr.

That is all.

Best Wishes.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

(salam)

banging_head_against_brick_wall_poster-p228796296065491332td.jpg

+1, i am with you on that one, iv seen so many misguided posts that instead of leading to the path of reason, they lead to the path of destruction (ok maybe destruction is a powerful word, so...They lead to the wrong path instead)

If your a shia you dont have to control your desires as you can do mutah, if you are sunni you will need to control your desires (fasting and doing zikr helps) and it is possible to control your desires. Again if you are shia Do mutah with her or any non-syed lady, as many as you like as your religion allows it , aslong as you bide by the laws.

Brother, where did you study your post from, since when did we shia not have to control our desires??? Infact we MUST control our desires according to the Quran and the teachings of Ahlul Bayt, the master of the believers, Imam Ali (a.s) says:

"One who rushes madly after inordinate desire, runs the risk of encountering destruction and death."

And logically thinking about this, why are you differentiating between a "sayyed" and a "non sayyed"? Are they not human? infact not every so called "sayyed" is a sayyed in his acts? i know one sayyed that used to giv e lectures about imam Hussain (a.s) in majalis, after a couple of years i heard he is serving jail term for supposedly "raping" a woman? he was probably making mutah with her, but look at the consequences! he was married at the time of the offense btw!?

Likewise telling someone "Do mutah as many as you like as your religion allows it", according to this statement you are extracting pateince from religion, i mean what is the point in patience if everytime you feel an urge you go make mutah? Why not get perm married!! Likewise would you make the same statement telling someone " If you run out of food in the desert, then consume as much pork as you like as your religion allows it"?! The thing is we should only consume as much as we can stay alive, that is, intricate amount to keep us alive.

So please brothers, try to understand the scope of the law before trying to guide other brothers/sister.

But if you abstain, that is even better for you, and Allah is Forgiving, Merciful."

Thank you brother for that wise statement.

(wasalam)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

(salam)

Brother I noticed that you wanted someone who followed Syed Sistani to help you, did you try going to his website?

http://www.najaf.org/english/

I've asked questions on the site before pertaining to certain sins committed and the kaffaras or penalties that are associated with them and what you are allowed/not allowed to do so in the future (such as letting other people like u'r wife know something or not). You get very fast replies there, just make sure you use your real name and real email address there.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

S/a all

I'm in my high school years.... and I've fallen into terrible haraam, so much... I feel like i'm swimming in hell :'(

I need to talk to someone, desperately, who knows a lot about life, relationships, tawbah, and.... someone who can help me, I need someone to guide me and help me out of this depressing moment in my life... I don't want to talk to my local alims because I am too ashamed of what i've done.... can someone please, preferably a well learned, male (because I am male) please please please give me their contact details so that i may tell them my story... and ask for help...

If anyone is willing to help me :( PLEASE send me your contact details because right now i'm living life in regret and I can't take it :(

Preferably a shia.. and follower of seestani... :'(

Salam brother,

we do the worst of sins. but the best we can do is Pray to Allah to forgive us, Avoid it in the future, and try not to tell anyone. Sins and Good deeds aswell rather, should be between you and Allah only. However, sometimes the need arises where you need specific advice, ask a learned person in a general way.As reference to someone else rather than yourself so your identity is hidden.

Dont lose hope, if it has to do with desires etc.. which is innate in man, you should consider marriage, if there there are any deeds against someone..ask their forgiveness then Allahs, and there are some sins in which only Allah's forgiveness is sufficient.

Bro, another thing.. try www.sistani,.org. its a good website as it shows frequently asked questions and mentions fatwas from almost any topic. Dont forget, The most promising thing is that you have admitted your doing wrong, feel it and are regretting it. You taking a very big step there MashAllah. May Allah bless you.

waslam

Edited by shia_warrior92

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

(salam)

Likewise telling someone "Do mutah as many as you like as your religion allows it", according to this statement you are extracting pateince from religion, i mean what is the point in patience if everytime you feel an urge you go make mutah? Why not get perm married!! Likewise would you make the same statement telling someone " If you run out of food in the desert, then consume as much pork as you like as your religion allows it"?! The thing is we should only consume as much as we can stay alive, that is, intricate amount to keep us alive.

So please brothers, try to understand the scope of the law before trying to guide other brothers/sister.

(wasalam)

"Again if you are shia Do mutah with her or any non-syed lady, as many as you like as your religion allows it , aslong as you bide by the laws"

i have clearly noted aslong as the laws are not broken...

about the desires, what i said was:

"If your a shia you dont have to control your desires as you can do mutah"

as you can see, the desire we are talking about is a desire that is fullfilled by this marrage not any other desire.

as for the analogy, comparing pork haram to a muslims marrage... :huh:

i clearly stated aslong as you bide by the LAWS, meaning do it as many as your religion allows you to.

my 6 questions to you and everyone:

1) is there a limit of temporary marrages a man can do? (as in one after the other expires)

2) the shortest time period a man can do muta for?

3) once the time period expires can the typical shia man do mutah again if he wishes or is he restricted for many months, years?

4) can a typical single shia man do mutah with a lady, who is ahlay kitab without any reason but to fulfill his desires lawfully by muta?

5) can a man have more then 1 mutah partner (biding by the laws the partners dont share the same bed)?

6) can a man do mutah only for the reason to fulfill his desires?

which ever maraja you brothers follow, would be great to know the rulings/answers on these 5 questions, i dont know myself, but from what my understanding is, temp marrage can be done over again by a man after it expires and can be short as a few days or even hours? and can simply be done for fullfilling desires aslong as he bides by the rules, ontop he can have more then 1 muta partner. this temp marrage is still halal for him even if he has a permanant marrage option?

thanks in advance.

Edited by alialiali

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"Again if you are shia Do mutah with her or any non-syed lady bide by the laws"

You may dislike it, but it's perfectly halal for a non syed man to do mutah(or permanent marriage) with a syeda. Period.

BTW, making up your own laws is totally haram.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You may dislike it, but it's perfectly halal for a non syed man to do mutah(or permanent marriage) with a syeda. Period.

BTW, making up your own laws is totally haram.

this topic had been discussed before, there is no point in going into this,

good try bhooka good luck next time but this topic was to help the brother get on his feet.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

S/a all

I'm in my high school years.... and I've fallen into terrible haraam, so much... I feel like i'm swimming in hell :'(

I need to talk to someone, desperately, who knows a lot about life, relationships, tawbah, and.... someone who can help me, I need someone to guide me and help me out of this depressing moment in my life... I don't want to talk to my local alims because I am too ashamed of what i've done.... can someone please, preferably a well learned, male (because I am male) please please please give me their contact details so that i may tell them my story... and ask for help...

If anyone is willing to help me :( PLEASE send me your contact details because right now i'm living life in regret and I can't take it :(

Preferably a shia.. and follower of seestani... :'(

(salam)

Whatever you have done, whether it be severe or not, know that Allah swt's doors of mercy are always wide open. One of the biggest sins is denying Allah swt's mercy and assuming that you wont be forgiven. So pray and do tawbah as much as you can with the intention that you are sorry and will never do it again. Otherwise, you dont need to ask for anyones help except from Allah.

(wasalam)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

salaam

(salam)

+1, i am with you on that one, iv seen so many misguided posts that instead of leading to the path of reason, they lead to the path of destruction (ok maybe destruction is a powerful word, so...They lead to the wrong path instead)

Brother, where did you study your post from, since when did we shia not have to control our desires??? Infact we MUST control our desires according to the Quran and the teachings of Ahlul Bayt, the master of the believers, Imam Ali (a.s) says:

"One who rushes madly after inordinate desire, runs the risk of encountering destruction and death."

And logically thinking about this, why are you differentiating between a "sayyed" and a "non sayyed"? Are they not human? infact not every so called "sayyed" is a sayyed in his acts? i know one sayyed that used to giv e lectures about imam Hussain (a.s) in majalis, after a couple of years i heard he is serving jail term for supposedly "raping" a woman? he was probably making mutah with her, but look at the consequences! he was married at the time of the offense btw!?

Likewise telling someone "Do mutah as many as you like as your religion allows it", according to this statement you are extracting pateince from religion, i mean what is the point in patience if everytime you feel an urge you go make mutah? Why not get perm married!! Likewise would you make the same statement telling someone " If you run out of food in the desert, then consume as much pork as you like as your religion allows it"?! The thing is we should only consume as much as we can stay alive, that is, intricate amount to keep us alive.

So please brothers, try to understand the scope of the law before trying to guide other brothers/sister.

Thank you brother for that wise statement.

(wasalam)

I disagree with Aliali about the Sayed and non sayed issue but everything else he said is true

you are advocating celibacy which is haraam in Islam

you are comparing swine to marriage which is generally mustahab

and your example of the man who is serving jail and done mutah while married is not a good example because there is nothing wrong with a married man doing mutah.

Edited by alimohamad40

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Unless she asks you beforehand if you've done anything then no you don't need to tell her.

Actually you don't even have to do that. If she is a true Mo'minah, then she won't even ask that. If she does, tell her that has nothing to do with no one but a servant and his Lord. If I were a Ma'soom and had nothing to hide I'd still say that.

Also, reading Surah Tawbah helps a lot. What you can do if you truly feel bad, and from the bottom of your heart you never want to do that sin again is two things:

1) Repent to Allah سبحانه وتعالى, face Him in front of the Qiblah after your prayers and Tawbah, put your hand on the Quran, and promise to never commit that sin ever again. If you really do believe in the Quran as the word of Allah سبحانه وتعالى, then I guarantee you'll never commit the sin again.

2) Make a contract with Allah سبحانه وتعالى. A friend of mine wanted to stop smoking cigarettes/hookah permanently, so he made a (kind of funny) contract saying that for every cigarette/shisha he smokes, he'll donate $10,000 dollars to this really bad 'masjid' in our community that promotes secularism, the Prophet (s) being (naudhubillah) being inspired to write the Quran in the same way Rumi was inspired in writing his poetry, hijab not being wajib or recommended, the list goes on. He had 6 of his friends sign it, and he has completely quit smoking.

Anyways, always remember that on the Day of Judgment, it's not the sin that'll be the reason for someone going into hell. It's the fact that they were disappointed in Allah's (swt) Rahmah (mercy), and they didn't turn to him in repentance.

Edited by Zulfiqar14

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

S/a all

I'm in my high school years.... and I've fallen into terrible haraam, so much... I feel like i'm swimming in hell :'(

I need to talk to someone, desperately, who knows a lot about life, relationships, tawbah, and.... someone who can help me, I need someone to guide me and help me out of this depressing moment in my life... I don't want to talk to my local alims because I am too ashamed of what i've done.... can someone please, preferably a well learned, male (because I am male) please please please give me their contact details so that i may tell them my story... and ask for help...

If anyone is willing to help me sad.gif PLEASE send me your contact details because right now i'm living life in regret and I can't take it sad.gif

Preferably a shia.. and follower of seestani... :'(

Nietzche said on regret- whats regret but adding a second to the first act of stupidity.

So regret is absolutely not necessary. Please do not turn into one of those guys who are on one end of spectrum one day and the opposite (born again fanatic) the next. And seeing your past in hallal-haram paradigm is not helpful either.

Nature has an uncanny way of punishing the foolish. Its no coincident that things that are haram in Islam are also deemed foolish in nature. Yes having girlfriends or engaging in other immoral activities that go along with it in our contemporary times is haram for a Muslim, its also foolish and opposite our very core values (Islamic) that we are raised with. This clash of values are bound to create an explosion. Hence, what you are suffering is the consequences of clash of your core values and punishment for your foolish acts and foolishness. You have done the crime, now you are doing the time. Dont break down but rather take it like a man and know that its all temporary and that this punishment is going to be over in its due time. The ONLY positive thing that could come out of your situation is that you learn from it and come out wiser and stronger from it. As Nietzche (again) said that what doesnt kill you makes you stronger.

Dont seek help from anyone but from Allah (J) and be hopeful that He will not let you stranded. Have faith and be hopeful.

WS

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There's two types of people in this world, Ones who follow religion and stay within limits. Then there are others who go overboard about every little thing. ^The second example applies here.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...