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bousa

Is It Ok For Sunni Girl To Marry Shia Man?

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As salam alaikum wa rahmatullah Wa barakatuhu, I am a 18 year old girl living in America and I want to know if it is allowed to marry a Shia. My story is kind of complicated.I have been friends with this guy I want to marry for two and a half years. At first, we had a haram relationship (no, we did not engage in sexual activity). The most we did was hold hands, kiss on the cheeck. But a year ago I changed a lot, I started seeing that most of the things I would do were haram. I started wearing hijaab about 6 months ago. My family is not a normal Muslim family. My parents are divorced, My father is very religious. He prays 5 times a day and is a very devout Muslim like I am. However, my mother does not wear hijaab but she still believes in Islam. My sister does not wear Hijaab and she believes in Islam too. The family of the man I want to marry is very religious. They are Iraqi Shia. This concerns me very much because I do not know if they will accept me since my family is Turkish and Sunni (I have some Shia relatives on my fathers side). This boy and I are friends now because I do not want to do anything haram. I have read a lot about Shia Islam and I am willing to convert, even if I do not end up marrying this boy, because I find that Shia Islam is the right path, but I still have respect for Sunni and other sects in Islam. I have tried to be kind to his family (his mother knows about me but I don't know if she likes me or not). But I have heard from several people that Iraqi Shias are very strict and only allow the men to marry Iraqi Shia girls who are usually related to them. I am scared that his family will not want me since I am not Iraqi and my parents are divorced. I would like to get some opinions on what I can do to make our marriage possible and on whether or not it is allowed to marry a girl that has converted to being Shia? Please, someone please give me advice.

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salam sister

Well, I dont think this has anything to do with iraqi or not because many families dont accept girls that are diffrent sects/countries.., i know an iraq shia relative of ours who married a sunni kurdish girl who wasnt even religious (dont know if she wore a scarf even when he met her) however now she wears full islamic clothing and has converted to shia islam and they are living a happy life.

Yes some iraqis are strict but if you guys love eachother, then he can tell his parents and i dont think its a big problem, especially if ur willing to convert and ur wearing a hijab now..........

Has he opened up the topic with his parents?

Ask him and see what his parents think of you?

Is he rerious with the relationship he has with you?

I dont see any barrier that is stopping you from getting married because you will be living with him and all.............

Sorry dont know what to say i mean did he tell his parents and they refused?

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salam sister

Well, I dont think this has anything to do with iraqi or not because many families dont accept girls that are diffrent sects/countries.., i know an iraq shia relative of ours who married a sunni kurdish girl who wasnt even religious (dont know if she wore a scarf even when he met her) however now she wears full islamic clothing and has converted to shia islam and they are living a happy life.

Yes some iraqis are strict but if you guys love eachother, then he can tell his parents and i dont think its a big problem, especially if ur willing to convert and ur wearing a hijab now..........

Has he opened up the topic with his parents?

Ask him and see what his parents think of you?

Is he rerious with the relationship he has with you?

I dont see any barrier that is stopping you from getting married because you will be living with him and all.............

Sorry dont know what to say i mean did he tell his parents and they refused?

He always tells me how he respects Iraqi girls a lot, I know this sounds really stupid but I really want to know what Iraqi girls are like to make him happy. I would do anything to be accepted by his family.He told me that he was going to try telling his parents slowly that he wanted to marry a girl that is not Iraqi. I don't know if he has talked to them in a serious manner because I am really shy and scared to talk to him about marriage. He is the only one to bring it up whenever we are together. When we talk he tells me how he tells his mother about me but that is all. I think he is serious because he has brought up the topic of marriage several times. Is it acceptable for me to meet his family even if we aren't engaged? If I do meet his family, is there anything I should be aware of before meeting them? Like traditions, should I hug his mother or just shake her hand? I get really nervous when I think about this because I will probably do something and they will think I am rude.

Edited by bousa

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salam sister,

From personal experience, I would advise you to look into the situation deeply before you make any decisions about marriage. Like find out the expectations of his parents and of him. This is the best way. we have been told that shias shouldnt marry sunnis etc. and Allah knows best. This is important to check everything out before you tie the knot. it will stop you from having problems later on. if you know its difficult, then avoid it. You are better off avoiding it rather then it breaking many relationships later on if you know what i mean. If both sides are strict then it shouldnt happen at all. since it puts the girl or boy in a very difficult situation.

tc, Good luck,

May Allah be with you.

Keep us in your prayers

wasalam :)

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salam sister,

From personal experience, I would advise you to look into the situation deeply before you make any decisions about marriage. Like find out the expectations of his parents and of him. This is the best way. we have been told that shias shouldnt marry sunnis etc. and Allah knows best. This is important to check everything out before you tie the knot. it will stop you from having problems later on. if you know its difficult, then avoid it. You are better off avoiding it rather then it breaking many relationships later on if you know what i mean. If both sides are strict then it shouldnt happen at all. since it puts the girl or boy in a very difficult situation.

tc, Good luck,

May Allah be with you.

Keep us in your prayers

wasalam :)

Salam Alaikom.

merhaba abla, nasilsin :)

Well first of all, you are allowed to get married (Islamically) whether you are Sunni or Shia. But ofcourse you converting to Shiism makes things easier for both. You should be confinced of this ofcourse and not convert just to let this marriage happen.

Whether his parents will agree on this all depends on how they think of this issue and the expectations they have for the girl he is marrying. I am an Iraqi girl myself and I know that many of our families do agree after some time. This will be hard though in the beginning, they need time to accept the idea but i've seen this happen. So its not impossible.

Well about how Iraqi girls are, they are just like any other girls. So dont worry about that, just be yourself. I advice you to let him speak to his parents(or one of his parents) about this, see what their opinion is and meet his mom. You dont need to hug her, a hand and four kisses is enough. Dont worry about it, I have many Turkish girlfriends and I think our cultures have many similaraties.

PM me if you need any advice.

Ma3a al salama :)

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Salam sister we Shias due to love in our heart for ahlulbayth asws start loving anybody who says good about ahlulbayth asws and start hating anybody who says anything against ahlulbayth asws. When u are willing to accept the path of ahlulbayth then congratulations, not everyone gets this honour.

Before marrying a Shia you should look in to our practices; maybe u won't like certain practices in the future and this would be a problem. You should make ur mind that ur respect for other sects won't make u teach other sects practices to ur children if not the kids religion will be for the sake of parents rather for the sake of Allah azwj; something like one hand on thigh for the father and one on chest for the mother during salat.

Just kidding, don't worry too much and do not stoop down to get him rather let him come forward with his effort in getting married. Lastly, you might have to change your hobby of horse riding as many Shias may not like it, this reminds of a war where a woman had similar interests.

Ya Ali Madad

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