Jump to content
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!) ×
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!)
In the Name of God بسم الله

My Brothers And Sisters, Help Me

Rate this topic


Frosty

Recommended Posts

  • Advanced Member

(bismillah)

(salam)

I know it has been awhile since I have posted and I hate to begin posting again on such a bad note but my brothers and sisters, I need your help now more than I have ever need anyones help in my life. I have strayed far from the path of Islam, of Allah (saw), I have commited many grievous sins. I have stolen, I have drank alcohol and intoxicants, I have had sex before marriage, I have beat my fiance, I have sined and disgraced myself in my family, my circle of friends, my community. I have lost everything I once held dear, my job, my fiance, my family has disowned me, my friends have rejected me, my cat recently fell ill and passed on, my beloved grandmother has passed on and a week later my dear grandfather also passed and I don't know where to turn other to where I should have turned to in the first place. I have not talked to any Imam yet because I have been to ashamed of my behaviour and actions to even show my face in a holy house of Allah (saw). All, I want to do right now is purify myself in the sight of Allah (saw), I want to fully and truly repent of everything I have done and I need advice on how to do this properly, any advice would be helpful, this post is really just stream-of-consciousness writing and my apologies if this doesn't make sense. Please, for the love of Allah (saw) help me my brothers and sisters, thank you.

Edited by Frosty
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Advanced Member

Brother I'm not sure if this internet is the best place to go for this kind of thing.

I realize this, ShiaChat is not the only outlet I am using to help me with this troubling time. I am just looking for advice and some kind words and so on.

In any case, you obviously know what the problem is (i.e. deviation). So shouldn't you know the solution?

Very right, the problem isn't so much knowing the solution, more to have the courage and strength to get up, put my ego and shame to the side and carry out said solution.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Advanced Member

wa alaikum salam,

I am sorry to hear your are in a bad state of mind.  It has been my experience that  regular prayer and reading the Quran will work wonders for one's self-control.

It does sounds like you have some anger issues and you need to learn how to cope with that.  Remember that acting on your anger will always produce something toxic.  Seriously bro, you are probably going to have to say good-bye to your one time fiancée.  If she were my sister I would tell her to dump you quick.  I am not trying to be mean, just giving you additional perspective.

Good luck brother and may you choose the path of Allah.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You see what you have done is very, very wrong, and you are penitent wanting to change. So that's in fact some good news for you. Allah has not ended your life yet, so you still have opportunity ahead of you. Sounds like you've hit rock bottom, so time to start climbing back up. Thing is though, you can't do it alone, so hold on tight to that rope which has been sent down for you.

Here, I want you to carefully read these hadiths. They provided me solace in a very difficult (the most difficult in fact) time in my own life. It was different from yours, but still taught me lessons I'm still trying to understand and learn from. One of those lessons was in Allah's forgiveness and compassion. Allah knows your weaknesses already, you aren't expected to be perfect. But when you fall, turn to Him and He'll turn to you, picking you right back up. This doesn't mean you should be complacent, you _should_ be fearing what can happen when you sin like you have, you _should_ be shedding tears and begging Him to forgive you for it and resolve never to work such great evils again, but, you should also not lose hope. You sins are great, but His mercy is greater.

علي بن إبراهيم، عن أبيه، عن ابن أبي عمير، عن جميل بن دراج، عن ابن بكير، عن أبي عبد الله أو عن أبي جعفر (عليهما السلام) قال: إن آدم (عليه السلام) قال: يا رب سلطت علي الشيطان وأجريته مني مجرى الدم فاجعل لي شيئا، فقال: يا آدم جعلت لك أن من هم من ذريتك بسيئة لم تكتب عليه، فإن عملها كتبت عليه سيئة ومن هم منهم بحسنة فإن لم يعملها كتبت له حسنة فإن هو عملها كتبت له عشرا، قال: يا رب زدني، قال: جعلت لك أن من عمل منهم سيئة ثم استغفر له غفرت له، قال: يا رب زدني، قال: جعلت لهم التوبة - أو قال: بسطت لهم التوبة - حتى تبلغ النفس هذه، قال: يا رب حسبي

`Ali b. Ibrahim from his father from Ibn Abi `Umayr from Jamil b. Darraj from Ibn Bukayyir from Abu `Abdillah عليه السلام or from Abu Ja`far عليه السلام. He said: Verily Adam عليه السلام said: O Lord! you have given Shaytan power over me and have caused him to flow from me the flow of blood (or, flow from the blood vessels), so grant me something. So He said: O Adam! I have granted you that whoever from your progeny resolves to do an evil, it will not be written against him. So if he commits it, an evil is written against him. And whosoever of them resolves to do a good deed, but he does not do it, then a good deed is written down for him, and if he does perform it, ten are written down for him. He said: O Lord! Give me more. He said: I have granted you that whoever from them commits an evil deed, then seeks forgiveness for it, I will forgive him. He said: O Lord! give me more. He said: I have granted them tawba, or He said: I have extended to them tawba until the self reaches this. He said: O Lord! it is enough for me.

عنه، عن عدة من أصحابنا، رفعوه، قالوا: قال: لكل شئ دواء ودواء الذنوب الاستغفار

From him (Muhammad b. Yahya?) from a group of our companions who reached up to him. They said: he said: For every thing there is a cure, and the cure of sins is to seek forgiveness.

محمد بن يحيى، عن أحمد بن محمد، عن ابن محبوب، عن العلاء، عن محمد بن مسلم، عن أبي جعفر (عليه السلام) قال: يا محمد بن مسلم ذنوب المؤمن إذا تاب منها مغفورة له فليعمل المؤمن لما يستأنف بعد التوبة والمغفرة، أما والله إنها ليست إلا لاهل الايمان قلت: فإن عاد بعد التوبة والاستغفار من الذنوب وعاد في التوبة؟! فقال: يا محمد بن مسلم أترى العبد المؤمن يندم على ذنبه ويستغفر منه ويتوب ثم لا يقبل الله توبته؟ قلت: فإنه فعل ذلك مرارا، يذنب ثم يتوب ويستغفر [ الله ]، فقال: كلما عاد المؤمن بالاستغفار والتوبة عاد الله عليه بالمغفرة وإن الله غفور رحيم، يقبل التوبة ويعفو عن السيئات، فإياك أن تقنط المؤمنين من رحمة الله

Muhammad b. Yahya from Ahmad b. Muhammad from Ibn Mahbub from al-`Ala from Muhammad b. Muslim from Abu Ja`far عليه السلام. He said: O Muhammad b. Muslim! the sins of the believer, when he repents of it, are forgiven for him, so the believer should act upon what is renewed after tawba and forgiveness; however, by Allah it is only for the people of faith. I said: So if he returns (to it) after tawba and seeking forgiveness from sins, and returns in tawba (repents again)? So he said: O Muhammad b. Muslim! have you seen the believing servant regret his sin and seek forgiveness for it, and do tawba, then Allah does not accept his tawba? I said: So (even) if he does that a number of times, he sins then does tawba and seeks forgiveness of Allah? So he said: Whenever the believer returns through seeking forgiveness and tawba, Allah returns to him with forgiveness, and verily Allah is the forgiving, the merciful. He accepts tawba and pardons the evil deeds. And beware that you should make the believers despair of the mercy of Allah.

علي بن إبراهيم، عن أبيه، عن ابن أبي عمير، عن بعض أصحابنا رفعه قال: إن الله عز وجل أعطى التائبين ثلاث خصال لو أعطى خصلة منها جميع أهل السماوات والارض لنجوا بها قوله عز وجل: " إن الله بحب التوابين ويحب المتطهرين " فمن أحبه الله لم يعذبه، وقوله: " الذين يحملون العرش ومن حوله يسبحون بحمد ربهم ويستغفرون للذين آمنوا ربنا وسعت كل شئ رحمة وعلما فاغفر للذين تابوا واتبعوا سبيلك وقهم عذاب الحجيم * ربنا وأدخلهم جنات عدن التي وعدتهم ومن صلح من آبائهم وأزواجهم وذرياتهم إنك أنت العزيز الحكيم * وقهم السيئات ومن تق السيئات يومئذ فقد رحمته وذلك هو الفوز العظيم " وقوله عز وجل: " و الذين لا يدعون مع الله إلها آخر ولا يقتلون النفس التي حرم الله إلا بالحق ولا يزنون ومن يفعل ذلك يلق أثاما * يضاعف له العذاب يوم القيامة ويخلد فيه مهانا * إلا من تاب وآمن وعمل عملا صالحا فاولئك يبدل الله سيئاتهم حسنات وكان الله غفورا رحيما "

`Ali b. Ibrahim from his father from Ibn Abi `Umayr from a group of our companions who reached up to him. He said: Verily Allah, `azza wa jalla, has given the penitent three characteristics that should one of them be given, all of the people of the heavens and the Earth would be saved by it. His, `azza wa jalla, saying: “Verily Allah loves those who repent and He loves those who purify themselves.” So whoever Allah loves, He will not punish him. And His saying: “Those who bear the Throne, and those around it proclaim the praise of their Lord, and believe in Him, and they seek forgiveness for those who believe: 'Our Lord, Thou embracest every thing in mercy and knowledge; therefore forgive those who have repented, and follow Thy way, and guard them against the chastisement of Hell, our Lord, and admit them to the Gardens of Perpetuity that Thou hast promised them and whoever of them was righteous - of their fathers, and their spouses, and their seed; surely Thou art the All-mighty, the All-wise. Guard them against evil deeds; whomsoever Thou guardest against evil deeds that day, on him indeed, Thou hast had mercy; and that is the mighty triumph.” And His saying: “And those who call not upon another god with Allah, nor slay the soul Allah has forbidden except by right, nor fornicate, for whosoever does that shall meet the price of sin-doubled shall be the chastisement for him on the Resurrection Day, and he shall dwell therein abased, save him who repents, and believes, and does righteous work -- those, Allah will change their evil deeds into good deeds, for Allah is ever All-forgiving, All-merciful.”

http://www.*******.org/hadiths/akhlaq/tawba-and-repentance

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Advanced Member

It does sounds like you have some anger issues and you need to learn how to cope with that. Remember that acting on your anger will always produce something toxic.

Indeed, sadly I have let my illness and my emotions get the best of me.  I know now that I have let Satan tempt me, change me and twist me.

Seriously bro, you are probably going to have to say good-bye to your one time fiancée. If she were my sister I would tell her to dump you quick. I am not trying to be mean, just giving you additional perspective.

Despite what she may say, despite her kind words, despite her reassurance that everything will be ok, I know in my heart, no, it will not and we will never be again, I know this, I accept this and I can see it in her eyes when we talk despite what she may be saying. I don't expect her to take me back, I don't expect her to forgive me, I don't expect her family to forgive me. I in short expect nothing. I know, full well, there is nothing that I can say to repay them/her for the emotional/physical toll that I have taken. All I am trying to do now, is to tell her that I am sorry and all I am asking for is her forgiveness. If I was her brother, I wouldn't want her to date me either and would want to kill me too. All I have been asking from her is forgiveness, I know I have killed what may have been and I know I will have to bear this guilt and this burden.

Good luck brother and may you choose the path of Allah.  

Allah (saw) is the only thing I got, I most assuredly will take shelter under him and follow his path which I have so stupidly strayed away from. The worst part of this has been dealing with the guilt I feel for sinning against Allah (saw) along with those I have hurt and everything else.

Is this a joke? Are you making fun of people who seek advice on this website?

No, this is not a joke, not at all. I realize given my personality and posts on this site why you would think that, I don't blame you, I would think the same but no, this isn't a joke, all of this has really happened to me and I am sincerely asking advice from this forum. This isn't a joke, this isn't satire, this is just me, sincerely and earnestly seeking advice.

Is this a joke? Are you making fun of people who seek advice on this website?

No, I am not, this is not a joke, this isn't satire, this isn't me trying to be cute or funny or comment or poke fun at anything, this is just me, earnestly and sincerely asking for advice from this forum. I know given my personality and my posts on this site why you would think this, I don't blame you, I would think the same, but all of this is sincere, all of this has really happened to me and I am really, honestly asking for advice.

Is this a joke? Are you making fun of people who seek advice on this website?

No, I am not, this is not a joke, this isn't satire, this isn't me trying to be cute or funny or comment or poke fun at anything, this is just me, earnestly and sincerely asking for advice from this forum. I know given my personality and my posts on this site why you would think this, I don't blame you, I would think the same, but all of this is sincere, all of this has really happened to me and I am really, honestly asking for advice.

Is this a joke? Are you making fun of people who seek advice on this website?

No, I am not, this is not a joke, this isn't satire, this isn't me trying to be cute or funny or comment or poke fun at anything, this is just me, earnestly and sincerely asking for advice from this forum. I know given my personality and my posts on this site why you would think this, I don't blame you, I would think the same, but all of this is sincere, all of this has really happened to me and I am really, honestly asking for advice.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Forum Administrators

(bismillah)

(salam)

I know it has been awhile since I have posted and I hate to begin posting again on such a bad note but my brothers and sisters, I need your help now more than I have ever need anyones help in my life. I have strayed far from the path of Islam, of Allah (saw), I have commited many grievous sins.

(bismillah)

(salam)

Frosty, first of all, condolences for the loss of your loved ones. I hope you haven't used your sadness about them as an excuse for your sinful behavior.

You allowed Shaytan to enter your life. Now you are sorry, so cry and beg forgiveness from Allah SWT. One sincere tear would be enough, but the more tears the better.

Less than two weeks ago I was checking your profile to see when was the last time you came to ShiaChat. I have seen you at ShiaChat for more than a year and I care about you.

So I am going to tell you something that I would not tell other people because I don't really know them. Do you have a Holy Qur'an? Open it to Surah 4, and read aya 48.

It says Allah SWT forgives any sin except for committing shirk. Now don't jump up and down and say yippee. You are in serious trouble.

If you have committed shirk, I don't know what to tell you. I am praying for you to stop the substance abuse, including alcohol. Get yourself to a medical doctor and have blood tests.

Follow his/her prescription medication religiously, on a daily basis. Please!

Read that ^ again and let it sink in. I am serious and you should be serious, too. Praying for you and all our people who are ill. I pray your news is good next time! ws

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Advanced Member

(bismillah)

(salam)

Bro you have taken the right first step; i recommend that you cut off your relations with any and all people who are a bad influence and surround yourself with good, Muslim friends.

And focus on improving your relationship with Allah(swt); avoid as many sins as you can and seek forgiveness for the ones that you commit (and try to avoid them). Pray on time, read good Islamic books, and remember Allah(swt) often.

You are lucky that these calamities have befallen on you because they give you a chance to think and come back even better, rather than remaining in your undesirable state, so thank Allah(swt) for opening you eyes to this.

But first things first, cut off everyone and anything that is a bad influence. Clean yourself up, then work on improving you iman. Any alcohol or drugs you have, throw them away. Any stolen goods, get rid of them. Any friend that doesn't call you to Allah(swt) and good deeds, then stay away from them, etc

Once you've gotten the bad influences out of your life, then work extra hard on improving not only your relation with Allah(swt), but also those around you.

It will take time, but stay steadfast and don't look back. May Allah(swt) give you success.

They say that Surah Taha is a good Surah to read when you have a lot of calamities; it helps put things into perspective.

w/s

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Advanced Member

well we are humans and we sin, but God won't forgive us and give us a better life till we TRULY seek his forgiveness by showing regret, and better behavior.

so make a plane for yourself..

1st.. you have to WANT IT.. you have to really REGRET all the bad you have done.. and REALLY REALLY approach God with a real repentance..

2nd.. try and keep ur prayers.. and do a lot of tasbeeh and estghfar.. it doesn't take long and it will really do wonders to your soul..

3rd.. beating isn't a normal thing people do and it usually means there's a much more complex thing going on, so maybe seek professional help to help you get rid of all these negative feelings.. it could be normal therapy.. or other kinds of therapies like color therapy.. there r few choices.. so do what makes you comfortable..

4th.. if you really love your fiancée.. just tell her (maybe in a letter) that you love her (well in case u do) and that you are changing (tell her all your feelings) and that you want another chance.. you have to realize 1st that hitting her wasn't an easy thing on her like not only physically but emotionally..

5th.. your family will accept you again once you show em that you are becoming good again.. that might take months or years.. but worth a try..

good luck :yaali:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Advanced Member

(bismillah)

(salam)

I know it has been awhile since I have posted and I hate to begin posting again on such a bad note but my brothers and sisters, I need your help now more than I have ever need anyones help in my life. I have strayed far from the path of Islam, of Allah (saw), I have commited many grievous sins. I have stolen, I have drank alcohol and intoxicants, I have had sex before marriage, I have beat my fiance, I have sined and disgraced myself in my family, my circle of friends, my community. I have lost everything I once held dear, my job, my fiance, my family has disowned me, my friends have rejected me, my cat recently fell ill and passed on, my beloved grandmother has passed on and a week later my dear grandfather also passed and I don't know where to turn other to where I should have turned to in the first place. I have not talked to any Imam yet because I have been to ashamed of my behaviour and actions to even show my face in a holy house of Allah (saw). All, I want to do right now is purify myself in the sight of Allah (saw), I want to fully and truly repent of everything I have done and I need advice on how to do this properly, any advice would be helpful, this post is really just stream-of-consciousness writing and my apologies if this doesn't make sense. Please, for the love of Allah (saw) help me my brothers and sisters, thank you.

i think when people read about your cat, they assumed you're just trying to be funny. i certainly wasn't sure if this was a joke at first either to be honest.

but seriously, we all reach a point in life where we feel our sins are an overwhelmingly heavy burden on us (for me, this usually happens in Ramadhan when you reflect on your year and you just can't stop crying!).

i think Hameeda's reminder about God's forgiveness ought to be kept in mind, so as to not fall in to despair.

i also liked this: "You sins are great, but His mercy is greater" - very powerful stuff!

finally, bear in mind this verse, 39:53.

قُلۡ يَـٰعِبَادِىَ ٱلَّذِينَ أَسۡرَفُواْ عَلَىٰٓ أَنفُسِهِمۡ لَا تَقۡنَطُواْ مِن رَّحۡمَةِ ٱللَّهِ‌ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يَغۡفِرُ ٱلذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعًا‌ۚ إِنَّهُ ۥ هُوَ ٱلۡغَفُورُ ٱلرَّحِيم

Say: "O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah: for Allah forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful

Edited by torres9
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Advanced Member

i think when people read about your cat, they assumed you're just trying to be funny. i certainly wasn't sure if this was a joke at first either to be honest.

I was extremely close to my cat, I had her 15 years and towards the end of this whole ordeal, she was the only thing I had left, almost literally, that's why I included her death in my OP. I realize given my personality and posting history why people would think that I'm joking but no, this isn't a joke, this all really happened, I'm not trying to be cute or funny or make fun of anyone who uses this forum to seek advice. This is just me, Frosty, turning to my old friends in ShiaChat in desperate need of advice and guidance.

The verse that I have been clinging to is:

"...My Lord! Surely I stand in need of whatever good Thou mayest send to me."-Al-Qur'an, Al-Qasas, 28:24.

I feel like prophet Ayyub (as). Literally, the friends I have left have tried to talk to me and have asked me "all of this has happened to you, you don't even have a home, how can you still keep faith? Why do you still keep praying to your God? Why do you pray so many times and at such odd hours when you're situation keeps going from bad to worse?"

Edited by Frosty
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Veteran Member

No, I am not, this is not a joke, this isn't satire, this isn't me trying to be cute or funny or comment or poke fun at anything, this is just me, earnestly and sincerely asking for advice from this forum. I know given my personality and my posts on this site why you would think this, I don't blame you, I would think the same, but all of this is sincere, all of this has really happened to me and I am really, honestly asking for advice.

When I read about the cat dying in close proximity to your grandparents, that is when I doubted the story. Please accept my apologies for that. Inshallah I will keep you in my prayers.

I had a friend who converted to Islam and he went through something similar. Although I don't know of him committing those sorts of major sins during that time. His family rejected him because of his religion, he lost his job, lost his fiancée and he lost his home too. Today he is married and working. When he lost his home I remember saying to him that perhaps all of this happened to him because he had some significant flaws that he needed to get rid of and he actually agreed with me. Today alhamdulilah he seems to have dealt with those flaws.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Advanced Member

Can anyone link me to an article or essay or book written by an Imam or from an Islamic scholar on the topic of 'anger' and 'revenge' and 'vegeance' and the like?

Frosty, first of all, condolences for the loss of your loved ones. I hope you haven't used your sadness about them as an excuse for your sinful behavior.

You allowed Shaytan to enter your life. Now you are sorry, so cry and beg forgiveness from Allah SWT. One sincere tear would be enough, but the more tears the better.

To be perfectly honest, I have cried every single day for almost a year now, there is no shortage of tears of sorrow here, just the guilt alone of sinning against Allah (saw) is almost unbearable on top of everything else. You are completely right though, I let Shaytan in my life, I let him twist me and pervert my character and turn me into a monster that I am not.

Less than two weeks ago I was checking your profile to see when was the last time you came to ShiaChat. I have seen you at ShiaChat for more than a year and I care about you.

So I am going to tell you something that I would not tell other people because I don't really know them. Do you have a Holy Qur'an? Open it to Surah 4, and read aya 48.

It says Allah SWT forgives any sin except for committing shirk. Now don't jump up and down and say yippee. You are in serious trouble.

If you have committed shirk, I don't know what to tell you. I am praying for you to stop the substance abuse, including alcohol. Get yourself to a medical doctor and have blood tests.

I attribute my downfall largely to me seperating myself from my community due to shame and embarassment. I however never lost faith, I never rejected God, I never cursed his name or worshiped any Gods aside from Him, I never cursed or rejected the message of his Prophet (pbuh) or Islam in general. I just strayed far from the straight path. I own multiple translations of al-Qur'an including copies which are solely in Arabic and I have been reading it everyday, it's really been the only thing keeping me going.

Follow his/her prescription medication religiously, on a daily basis. Please!

I have been recently, I have been going to NA meetings, talking with my sponser, and my therapist and have been taking my medication regularly.

Read that ^ again and let it sink in. I am serious and you should be serious, too. Praying for you and all our people who are ill. I pray your news is good next time! ws

Trust me, I am VERY serious, that's why I came here, I need my community, I need to go to my masjid, talk to my Imam, talk to my fellow brothers and sisters in Islam.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Forum Administrators

(bismillah)

(salam)

Alhamdulillah for your getting back on the straight path, brother. As a sign of your NA committment, can we expect to see a change in your profile page? :angel:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Advanced Member

(salam)

My condolences to you on the death of your loved ones. I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. As someone said earlier - your sins are great, but Allah's (swt) mercy is greater. I realise that you feel too ashamed to go to a masjid etc, but I think that that's what Allah (swt) would want from you. You need to get your life back on track and I think going to the masjid and being around people who have faith and who are a good influence will really help. The fact that you feel immense guilt and shame for your sins is a very good thing. Now all you need to do is sincerely repent, which involves:

- Ceasing the sinful activities

- Sincerely asking Allah (swt) for forgiveness

- Making a solemn vow that you will never commit them again

- Taking action to ensure that you are not in an environment that is easily susceptible to committing sins (eg: being around religious friends, not being around alcohol etc)

- Taking whatever action you can to make amends for the sins (eg: returning the stolen property, apologising to the people you've hurt).

wasalaam

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Veteran Member

(salam),

I know you've lost your job and all, but if you can afford it, trying visiting one of the shrines of the Imams, or better the Prophet (pbuh) or best, a trip for Umrah to Makkah. It should give you an enormous boost in your spirituality, which seems to be at a low point at the moment. :)

Good luck!

wa (salam)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Assalam alaykum wa rahmetu Allahi wa barekato, frosty.

I am sorry to hear that in your absence from this forum you slipped and fell into sin, deeper and deeper; may it be an lesson to all of us, including yourself, that no matter how high we ascend in taqwa, spirituality, and love for Allah (azza wa jal), that Shaytaan is our devious enemy, who is drawing on his thousands of years of experience to always plot our destruction; therefore we must always be on our guard.

al-Kafi, volume 3, Book of Salat, Chapter 2, hadeeth 8:

Ali bin Muhammed has narrated from Sahl bin Ziyad from al-Nawfaliy from al-Sakuniy who has said the following:

Abu AbdAllah (as-Sadiq), aleyhis salam, has said that the Messenger of God has said: "Satan continues to be afraid of a believing person as long as he protects his five times daily Salat, but when he loses them, Satan becomes daring, then he takes him into great sins".

I think coming to this site was an excellent idea; there's nothing like anonymously asking people of many different backgrounds for advice or even support. The other users have given some excellent advice, including on repentance. Don't hesistate to ask us for more advice or support. Never despair of Allah's Mercy. I am also glad to hear that you truly regret your behaviour and you feel great sorrow because of it; there are others who have committed great evil, but don't care, and never feel the immense weight of the sins that they committed.

I would advise you to look into yourself and discover WHY you have committed so many mistakes, sins, and acts of oppression both against yourself and others. Why is that you let yourself destroy more and more of your life and hurt those who you care for? What are the reasons for this behaviour?

Alongside the advice from the others about never despairing of God's Mercy, how to repent and so on, you should search to find the cause and reasons for your behaviour. You can then work to solving the problem and to ensuring what you have done never happens again.

Also, try to fix things. Some things may be seem beyond repair, but they may suddenly work out, due to the blessing of Allah, azza wa jal; other things may not work, and I'm sure you already know this. One thing you can do with the woman who is/was your fiance is to write her a letter. What do I mean? It might be hard to express your immense sorrow for your behaviour toward her in words when you're talking to her. Putting it down into letter form and then giving her the letter to read is a suggestion. You could talk about how you greatly regret it, that you wish you'd never committed those actions, that you know your words can never make up for what you've done but they're all you have, etc. I don't know the situation or the people; maybe things might work out between you two or maybe she'll never forget what you've done and hence be unable to be completely happy with you. But then if you love her, perhaps try to show how sorry you are, how you've changed, and how you would never ever repeat what you've done before, etc.

That's something you need to show the people around you: that you're not only sorry for your previous actions, but that you've changed, and that you would never go back. It's hard convincing the people that you've changed. It'll take time, and there will be distrust for a while yet, but you can do it.

Never despair of Allah's Mercy.

You asked for something on anger. Here are the words of the Prophet and Aimmah (Imams), peace and blessings of Allah be upon them, as reported by Muhammed bin Yaqub al-Kulayni in his book al-Kafi:

al-Kafi, the Shia book of ahadeeth, Volume 2, Book of Belief and Disbelief:

Chapter fifty: Suppressing one's anger:

hadeeth 1

Ali ibn Ibrahim has narrated from his father from ibn abu 'Umayr from Hisham ibn al-Hakam from abu 'Abd Allah, aleyhis salam, who has said the following:

"I do not love to humiliate my soul even to achieve the best of the bounties. I have not swallowed a drop more beloved to me than the drop (in the form) of my anger for which I did not seek compensation from the source that had caused it to stir up."

hadeeth 2

Muhammad ibn Yahya has narrated from Ahmad ibn Muhammad ibn 'Isa from Muhammad ibn Sinan and Ali ibn al-Nu'man from 'Ammar ibn Marwan from Zayd al-Shahham from abu 'Abd Allah, aleyhis salam, who has said the following:

"How wonderful indeed is the drop of anger for one who curbs it with exercising patience! Great rewards are for those who go through great trials and tribulations. Allah has not loved any people without exposing them to trials and tribulations."

hadeeth 3

It is narrated from him (narrator of the Hadith above) from Ali ibn al-Nu'man and Muhammad ibn Sinan from 'Ammar ibn Marwan from abu al-Hassan the 1st, aleyhis salam, who has said the following:

"Be patient against the enemies (jealous) of bounties. You cannot seek a compensation from one who disobeys Allah in your case, more meritorious and better than obeying Allah in his case (exercise patience against his jealousy)."

hadeeth 4

It is narrated from him (narrator of the Hadith above) from Muhammad ibn Sinan from Thabit Mawla Ale Hariz from abu 'Abd Allah, aleyhis salam, who has said the following:

"To suppress one's anger in the face of the enemy, the ruling party's government, for protection (Taqiyah), is a cutting edge for those who adopt it. It is to avoid being exposed to suffering in this world and to the animosity of the ruling party in their government. Opposition to such ruling parties without maintaining protective (Taqiyah) measures is ignoring the commands of Allah. Maintain a graceful position toward people; it will grow with them in your favor. Do not deal with them as your enemies; otherwise, you make them impose burdens on you and humiliate you."

hadeeth 5

Ali ibn Ibrahim has narrated from certain individuals of his people from Malik ibn Hasin al-Sakuni who has said the following:

"Abu 'Abd Allah, aleyhis salam, has said, 'If a servant (of Allah) suppresses his anger, Allah, the Most Majestic, the Most Holy, increases his respect in this world and in the next world. Allah, the Most Majestic, the Most Holy, has said, ". . . who also harness their anger and forgive the people. Allah loves the righteous ones." (3:134) Allah will give them such rewards; they had suppressed their anger.'"

hadeeth 6

A number of our people have narrated from Ahmad ibn Muhammad ibn Khalid from Isma'il ibn Mehran ibn Sayf ibn 'Amirah who has said that spoke to him one who had heard from abu 'Abd Allah, aleyhis salam, the following:

"Abu 'Abd Allah, aleyhis salam, has said, 'Whoever suppressess his anger that he could let out if he wanted, Allah, on the Day of Judgment, will fill his heart with

His happiness.'"

hadeeth 7

Abu Ali al-Ash'ari has narrated from Muhammad ibn 'Abd al-Jabbar from ibn Faddal from Ghalib ibn 'Uthman from 'Abd Allah ibn Mundhir from al-Wassafi from abu Ja'far, aleyhis salam, who has said the following:

"Abu Ja'far, aleyhis salam, has said, 'Whoever controls his anger which he could allow to take its course, Allah on the Day of Judgment will fill his heart with security and belief.'"

hadeeth 8

Al-Husayn ibn Muhammad has narrated from Mu'alla ibn Muhammad from al- Hassan ibn Ali al-Washsha' from 'Abd al-Karim ibn 'Amr from abu 'Usama Zayd al-Shahham from abu 'Abd Allah, aleyhis salam, who has said the following:

"Once the Imam said to me, 'O Zayd be patient against the enemies of the bounties (jealous people). You cannot compensate (retaliate to offset your suffering) from one who disobeys Allah through causing you to suffer, in other ways more properly, than obeying Allah in his case (in not causing any suffering to him). O Zayd Allah has chosen Islam and has selected it. Be good companions of Islam through generosity and excellence in moral behavior.'"

hadeeth 9

Ali ibn Ibrahim has narrated from Muhammad ibn 'Isa from Yunus from Hafs Bayya' al-Sabiri from abu Hamza from Ali ibn al-Husayn, aleyhis salam, who has said the following:

"The Messenger of Allah has said, 'Of the most beloved path to Allah, the Most Majestic, the Most Holy, there are two drops: The drop of anger that one brushes aside and repels with tolerance and the drop of suffering that one wipes off with patience.'"

hadeeth 10

Ali ibn Ibrahim has narrated from his father from Hammad from Rib'i from his chain of narrators from abu Ja'far, aleyhis salam, who has said the following:

"The Imam said, 'My father once said to me, "My son, there is nothing more delightful to the eyes of your father than the drop (feeling) of anger that precedes patience. My receiving the most noble of the bounties does not bring me any happiness if it may cuase humiliation to my soul."'"

hadeeth 11

Ali ibn Ibrahim has narrated from his father from ibn abu 'Umayr from Mu'awiyah ibn Wahab from Mu'adh ibn Muslim from abu 'Abd Allah, aleyhis salam, who has said the following:

"Bear patience against the enemies of the bounties (jealous people). You cannot compensate (your loss) from one who has disobeyed Allah in your case, in a more proper way than obeying Allah in his case."

hadeeth 12

It is narrated from him (narrator of the Hadith above) from his father from ibn abu 'Umayr from Khallad from al-Thumali from Ali ibn al-Husayn, aleyhis salam, who has said the following:

"I do not love to have the most noble of the bounties at the cost of humiliation to my soul. I have not swallowed any drop more beloved to me than the drop of anger for which I did not compensate from the one who caused it (my anger)."

hadeeth 13

A number of our people have narrated from Ahmad ibn Muhammad from al- Washsha' from Muthanna al-Hannat from abu Hamza who has said the following:

"Abu 'Abd Allah, aleyhis salam, once said to me, 'The swallowing of a servant (of Allah) of no other drop is more beloved to Allah, the Most Majestic, the Most Holy, than the drop (feeling) of anger when it runs around in his heart, and he swallows it by means of patience and forbearance.'"

al-Kafi, the Shia book of ahadeeth, Volume 2, Book of Belief and Disbelief:

Chapter 117: Anger:

hadeeth 1

Ali ibn Ibrahim has narrated from his father from al-Nawfali from al-Sakuni from abu 'Abd Allah, aleyhis salam, who has said the following:

"The Messenger of Allah has said, 'Anger spoils belief just as vinegar spoils honey."

hadeeth 2

Abu Ali al-Ash'ari has narrated from Muhammad ibn 'Abd al-Jabbar from ibn Faddal from Ali ibn 'Uqbah from his father from Muyassir who has said the following:

"Once anger was mentioned before abu Ja'far, aleyhis salam, and he said, 'Once a man is angered (unless something is done to control it) he will never become happy until he enters the fire. Therefore, whoever becomes angry with people if he is standing must sit down immediately. The filth of Satan goes away from him. Whenever one becomes angry with a relative he should reach out and touch him; when kinship is touched, it calms down.'"

hadeeth 3

Ali ibn Ibrahim has narrated from Muhammad ibn 'Isa from Yunus from Dawud ibn Farqad who has said the following:

"Abu 'Abd Allah, aleyhis salam, has said, 'Anger is the key to all evil.'"

hadeeth 4

A number of our people have narrated from Ahmad ibn Muhammad ibn Khalid from his father from al-Nadr ibn Suwayd from al-Qasim ibn Sulayman from abu 'Abd Allah, aleyhis salam, who has said the following:

"I heard my father saying, 'Once a Bedouin man came to the Messenger of Allah and said, "I live in the Sahara, please teach me comprehensive words of advice." The Messenger of Allah said, 'I command you not to become angry.' The man from the desert repeated his question three times. He then realized the fact and said, 'I will not ask for anything hereinafter. The Messenger of Allah has commanded me nothing but good.' The Imam said, 'My father has said, "What can be more severe (in harmfulness) than anger? A man becomes angry, he commits murder that is unlawful and accuses a married woman of committing indecent acts."'"

hadeeth 5

It is narrated from him (narrator of the Hadith above) from ibn Faddal from Ibrahim ibn Muhammad al-Ash'ari from 'Abd al-'Ala who has said the following:

"Once I said to abu 'Abd Allah, aleyhis salam, 'Please teach me good advice that will help me learn a lesson.' The Imam said, 'Once a man came to the Messenger of Allah and said, "O Messenger of Allah, teach me an advice that will help me learn a good lesson." The Messenger of Allah said, 'Go, but do not become angry.' The man repeated his question the Messenger of Allah said three times, 'Go and do not become angry.'"

hadeeth 6

It is narrated from him (narrator of the Hadith above) from Isma'il ibn Mehran from Sayf ibn 'Amirah from the one who had heard abu 'Abd Allah, aleyhis salam, saying:

"Whoever controls his anger, Allah covers his defects for him.'"

hadeeth 7

It is narrated from him (narrator of the Hadith above) from ibn Mahbub from Hisham ibn Salim from Habib al-Sajistani from abu Ja'far, aleyhis salam, who has said the following:

"It is written in the Torah of the conversations of Musa and Allah, the Most Majestic, the Most Holy, 'O Moses, control your anger against those whom I have given you to own, I will keep my anger away from you.'"

hadeeth 8

A number of our people have narrated from Sahl ibn Ziyad from Muhammad ibn al-Hamid from Yahya ibn 'Amr from 'Abd Allah ibn Sinan who has said the following:

"Abu 'Abd Allah, aleyhis salam, has said, 'Allah, the Most Majestic, the Most Holy, revealed to certain persons of His prophets: "O sons of Adam, remember Me in your anger, I will remember you in My anger and will not eliminate you along with the things that I eliminate. Be happy with My support; My support is better for you than your support for your own self'"

hadeeth 9

Abu Ali al-Ash'ari has narrated from Muhammad ibn 'Abd al-Jabbar from ibn Faddal from Ali ibn 'Uqbah from 'Abd Allah ibn Sinan from abu 'Abd Allah, aleyhis salam, a similar Hadith with the following addition:

"When injustice is done to you in an oppressive condition, be happy with My support; My support for you is better than your own support for yourself."

hadeeth 10

Muhammad ibn Yahya has narrated from Ahmad ibn Muhammad ibn 'Isa from ibn Mahbub from Ishaq ibn 'Ammar who has said the following:

"I heard abu 'Abd Allah, aleyhis salam, saying, 'It is written in the Torah: "Remember Me when you are angry so I remember you when I am angry and will not efface you along with those whom I will blot out. When injustice is done to you, accept My support; My support for you is better than your support for yourself.'"

hadeeth 11

Al-Husayn ibn Muhammad has narrated from Mu'alla ibn Muhammad and Ali ibn Muhammad from Salih ibn abu Hammad all from al-Washsha' from Ahmad ibn 'A'id from abu Khadijah from Mu'alla ibn Khanis from abu 'Abd Allah, aleyhis salam, who has said the following:

"Once a man said to the Holy Prophet, 'O Messenger of Allah, teach me.' The Messenger of Allah said, 'You may go and do not become angry.' The man said, 'I have taken it as a sufficient lesson.' He went to his family and found his people fighting, all of them lined up in arms. When he saw it he also armed himself and stood up in line with them and then he remembered the words of the Messenger of Allah, 'Do not become angry'. He threw away his arms and moved forward to the enemies of his people and said, 'O people, I will take responsibility for any loss of life, serious or slight injury that you may have suffered, I will pay you.' The people said, 'Whatever happened we give permission to go in your favor. It is more proper for us to make such undertakings.' The Imam then said, 'The people made peace and anger was gone.'"

hadeeth 12

A number of our people have narrated from Sahl ibn Ziyad and Ali ibn Ibrahim from his father all from ibn Mahbub from ibn Ri'ab from abu Hamza al-Thumali from abu Ja'far, recipient of divine supreme covenant, who has said the following:

"This anger is a spark from Satan that he lights up in the hearts of the children of Adam. Whenever any of you becomes angry, his eyes turn red, his veins puff up and Satan enters into it. If any of you fears this, he must hold to the earth; in so doing the evil of Satan goes away."

hadeeth 13

A number of our people have narrated from Ahmad ibn 'Abd Allah from certain individuals of his people in a marfu' manner has said the following:

"Abu 'Abd Allah, recipient of divine supreme covenant, has said, 'Anger darkens the heart of a wise person.' The Imam then said, 'One who loses control of his anger loses his power of reason.'"

hadeeth 14

Al-Husayn ibn Muhammad has narrated from Mu'alla ibn Muhammad from al-Hassan ibn Ali from 'Asim ibn Humayd from abu Hamza from abu Ja'far, recipient of divine supreme covenant, who has said the following:

"The Messenger of Allah has said, 'Whoever controls his soul from hurting people, on the Day of Judgment Allah will agree to grant relief to his soul. Whoever controls his anger against people, consequently, Allah, the Most Blessed, the Most High, will, on the Day of Judgment, hold back the fire from him."

hadeeth 15

A number of our people have narrated from Sahl ibn Ziyad from ibn Mahbub from abu Hamza from abu Ja'far, recipient of divine supreme covenant, who has said the following:

"Whoever controls his anger against people, consequently, Allah will, on the Day of Judgment, hold back the fire from him."

Peace.

Edited by Perseverance
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Forum Administrators

Changed. :lol:

(bismillah)

(salam)

Good for you, brother. MashaAllah!

Frosty is now optimistic about the future. Allaho Akbar!

Praying for you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Advanced Member

I can't thank you enough for all of your comments, it means a lot and it's good to know, even if seas apart, people, somewhere, still care about Ole' Frosty.

I will respond to your posts more properly later, I just wanted to thank you all so very much, from the bottom of my heart, I sincerely mean this.

@Hameedah:

Nothing get's by you aye sis? I am indeed optimistic about the future, thanks to this forum, my Imam and Allah (saw). :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...