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HassanA

Problems With Wife - Please Help

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I think its time to put this hadith of Imam Ali (as)

O people, obey not the women in any case, nor trust them with money, nor let them be in charge of the children, for if they are left to do what pleases them, they will lead (you) to troubles and transgress the rights of the lords. We found them to be unhesitating when they are in need, impatient when their (sexual) lust is at peak, wasteful spending is part of them even if they are old, and self-admiration follows them even at their senior age. They don't appreciate the plenty (that they possess) when they are prevented (from acquiring) the little. They forget the good and recall the bad. They rush to falsehood, insist on arrogance and follow Satan. So deal with them in any case, address them well that their deeds be well (as a result).

What's chapter 4 of the Quran called?

Wow, good luck finding a wife..

Edited by suus

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(salam)

I have to agree with you that keeping quiet will not solve this issue. It appears that you are trying and have tried to address a number of issues brought by your wife.

Does your wife get along with your mother? I don't mean on the superficial way. Do they really get along?

None of us here know the exact dynamic of your family. But based on all the problems that she has highlighted so far, do you think these problems are re-occurring in nature or are they fixable (one time only)?

Yes she was getting along with my mother great until some issues came up. My moms fault on some, but my mom also has some issues with the wife as well which she only brought up to me after I discussed my wife's issues.

I dont think these things are one time, but rather things that need to be brought to the attention of bought parties so they can be resolved on a semi permanent level.

It all comes down to the fact that I can get many wives but not another mom, and if my wife doesn't want to attempt to work things out I'm going to probably send her straight back to her parents.

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It all comes down to the fact that I can get many wives but not another mom, and if my wife doesn't want to attempt to work things out I'm going to probably send her straight back to her parents.

The fact that she was getting along with her up until recently means there ARE some issues.

The fact that your mother didn't tell you about the issues she had with your wife and didn't tell your wife either means she wasn't attempting to resolve the "issue" either. Obviously the issues are not serious enough for either your mother OR your wife to "work them out". I'm just saying, be fair. Did you go to your wife and tell her the issues your mother had with her? Or are you only concerned with telling your mother what your wife says?

It seems to me you're painting an ugly picture of your wife, and I can't help but feel the problems are not your mother. It's like your using your mother as an excuse, maybe you;re the one who wants to end things but you haven't noticed... Just a thought! Its obvious that neither your mom or your wife attempted to work things out until you interfered.

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The fact that she was getting along with her up until recently means there ARE some issues.

The fact that your mother didn't tell you about the issues she had with your wife and didn't tell your wife either means she wasn't attempting to resolve the "issue" either. Obviously the issues are not serious enough for either your mother OR your wife to "work them out". I'm just saying, be fair. Did you go to your wife and tell her the issues your mother had with her? Or are you only concerned with telling your mother what your wife says?

It seems to me you're painting an ugly picture of your wife, and I can't help but feel the problems are not your mother. It's like your using your mother as an excuse, maybe you;re the one who wants to end things but you haven't noticed... Just a thought! Its obvious that neither your mom or your wife attempted to work things out until you interfered.

I appreciate your perspective.

I've brought up issues of my mom to my wife before as well.

Some have been resolved and some not. (even before marriage) But the thing

is that my mom didn't continue to slam that problem

in my ear all day long. She acknowledged the fact that I like this

girl and she sucked some things up.

But the thing is that my wife now keeps slamming her issues into my ear, but doesn't let me sort it out in my man-like method.

I guess the way to address my wife's issues to my mom would be in a slick way where I speak about the issue from my point of view..rather than saying its my wife's issue. what you think?

All I know is I don't want to hear negative comments about my mom all day,

and this has to be sorted out. My mom might be at fault at times, but she's

willing to talk about those issues and I am more than willing to tell my mom

that " MOM, you're wrong," if she is truly wrong (and I've done it once or twice already)

So I think I'm being as fair as I can be.

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I appreciate your perspective.

I've brought up issues of my mom to my wife before as well.

Some have been resolved and some not. (even before marriage) But the thing

is that my mom didn't continue to slam that problem

in my ear all day long. She acknowledged the fact that I like this

girl and she sucked some things up.

But the thing is that my wife now keeps slamming her issues into my ear, but doesn't let me sort it out in my man-like method.

I guess the way to address my wife's issues to my mom would be in a slick way where I speak about the issue from my point of view..rather than saying its my wife's issue. what you think?

All I know is I don't want to hear negative comments about my mom all day,

and this has to be sorted out. My mom might be at fault at times, but she's

willing to talk about those issues and I am more than willing to tell my mom

that " MOM, you're wrong," if she is truly wrong (and I've done it once or twice already)

So I think I'm being as fair as I can be.

MM, I thought you said everything was crystal clear up until recently..

Well one thing you can do is tell her, "if you just want to tell me all your problems all day long and not have me helo you out, then stop telling me what's bothering you. Otherwise, if you keep telling me every small thing that happens, then I'll have to fix it. It's your call"..

I gather these "issues" are things like house keeping, cooking, and small comments made here and there. Things DO get annoying at some point in time, but you have to remind her kindly to have patience. Just be KIND!! Don't provoke her by getting completely annoyed at everything she tells you.

And you telling your mom in your point of view without her knowing its your wife can really help. It can even cool down all the problems being stirred at the moment...

For example, my cousin got married last summer, and they started off by living with her family, as the guy's family didn't live in that country. Now I'm sure you can relate to how uncomfortable when you marry someone and then feel like the whole family is now suddenly involved in your everyday life, as that's whats happening with your wife.

Well what happened was that he had told her of a meal he missed eating, but didn't want to impose on her mother, as he felt wrong living in their house. So his wife went to her mother and told her that SHE misses that meal, so that her husband can get what he wants, but at the same time not feel embarrassed or awkward around his mother-in-law. It's a perfect middle.

If they start doing something they both enjoy together, it can also bring them closer and occupy them both so that they don;t get on each other's nerves anymore.

Good luck!

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It all comes down to the fact that I can get many wives but not another mom, and if my wife doesn't want to attempt to work things out I'm going to probably send her straight back to her parents.

This is a terrible attitude to have and you need to get rid of it asap - otherwise you'll never be married to ANYONE. You'll just constantly be sending women back home whenever they do something you dont like. You cant go around ruining women's lives like that.

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(salam)

Yes she was getting along with my mother great until some issues came up. My moms fault on some, but my mom also has some issues with the wife as well which she only brought up to me after I discussed my wife's issues.

I dont think these things are one time, but rather things that need to be brought to the attention of bought parties so they can be resolved on a semi permanent level.

It all comes down to the fact that I can get many wives but not another mom, and if my wife doesn't want to attempt to work things out I'm going to probably send her straight back to her parents.

This is not a good attitude brother. You have only been married for mere 3 months and already thinking about next wives.

I know you are trying your best to resolve these problems. Can you tell us more about these arguments you are having. You don't need to describe in detail, but what sort of problems are these?

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What's chapter 4 of the Quran called?Wow, good luck finding a wife..

Alahamdullilah I am married and we are very happy.

Here is the reference you asked for. And it is authentic

Narrated to us Ali bin Ahmad bin Abdullah bin Ahmad bin Abi Abdillah al-Barqi: Narrated my father, from his grandfather Ahmad bin Abi Abdillah, from his father, from Muhammad bin Abi Omair, from more than one person from the Truthful Ja'far bin Muhammad from his father, from his forefathers, peace be on them.

One of the companions of Amirul-mu'mineen [as] complained to him about his women.

He [imam Ali as] thus stood to address the public saying:

- ÍÏËäÇ Úáí Èä ÃÍãÏ Èä ÚÈÏ Çááå Èä ÃÍãÏ Èä ÃÈí ÚÈÏ Çááå ÇáÈÑÞí (ÑÍãå Çááå)¡ ÞÇá: ÍÏËäí ÃÈí¡ Úä ÌÏå ÃÍãÏ Èä ÃÈí ÚÈÏ Çááå¡ Úä ÃÈíå¡ Úä ãÍãÏ

ÇÈä ÃÈí ÚãíÑ¡ Úä ÛíÑ æÇÍÏ¡ Úä ÇáÕÇÏÞ ÌÚÝÑ Èä ãÍãÏ¡ Úä ÃÈíå¡ Úä ÂÈÇÆå (Úáíåã ÇáÓáÇã)¡ ÞÇá: ÔßÇ ÑÌá ãä ÃÕÍÇÈ ÃãíÑ ÇáãÄãäíä (Úáíå ÇáÓáÇã) äÓÇÁå¡ ÝÞÇã (Úáíå ÇáÓáÇã) ÎØíÈÇ¡ ÝÞÇá: ãÚÇÔÑ ÇáäÇÓ¡ áÇ ÊØíÚæ ÇáäÓÇÁ Úáì ÍÇá¡ æáÇ ÊÃãäæåä Úáì ãÇá¡ æáÇ ÊÐÑæåä íÏÈÑä ÃãÑ ÇáÚíÇá¡ ÝÅäåä Åä ÊÑßä æãÇ ÃÑÏä ÃæÑÏä ÇáãåÇáß¡ æÚÏæä ÃãÑ ÇáãÇáß¡ ÝÅäÇ æÌÏäÇåä áÇ æÑÚ áåä ÚäÏ ÍÇÌÊåä¡ æáÇ ÕÈÑ áåä ÚäÏ ÔåæÊåä¡ ÇáÈÐÎ áåä áÇÒã æÅä ßÈÑä¡ æÇáÚÌÈ Èåä áÇ ÍÞ æÅä ÚÌÒä¡ áÇ íÔßÑä ÇáßËíÑ ÅÐÇ ãäÚä ÇáÞáíá¡ íäÓíä ÇáÎíÑ æíÍÝÙä ÇáÔÑ¡ íÊåÇÝÊä ÈÇáÈåÊÇä¡ æíÊãÇÏíä ÈÇáØÛíÇä¡ æíÊÕÏíä ááÔíØÇä¡ ÝÏÇÑæåä Úáì ßá ÍÇá¡ æÃÍÓäæÇ áåä ÇáãÞÇá¡ áÚáåä íÍÓä ÇáÝÚÇá

http://www.yasoob.co.../10/no1000.html

Taken from al-Amali of Shaykh Saduq , pg 274. Also present in his Ilal-ush-Sharaye

According to Ayatullah Sadeq Rouhani, this hadith is Sahih:

Fiqh al-Sadiq, vol. 25, page 23:

æÕÍíÍ ÇÈä ÓäÇä Úäå - Úáíå ÇáÓáÇã - Ýí ÍÏíË¡ ÞÇá Úáí - Úáíå ÇáÓáÇã -: " ãÚÇÔÑ ÇáäÇÓ áÇ ÊØíÚæÇ ÇáäÓÇÁ Úáì ÍÇá æáÇ ÊÃãäæåä Úáì ãÇá¡ æáÇ ÊÐÑæåä íÏÈÑä ÃãÑ ÇáÚíÇá " ÇáÍÏíË

http://www.yasoob.co.../05/no0561.html

Oh and i also forgot to add - look up the context of that hadith you nincompoop!

As a lady you have shown your attitude. You should study the context before you become hyper. It speaks a lot for you.

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It all comes down to the fact that I can get many wives but not another mom, and if my wife doesn't want to attempt to work things out I'm going to probably send her straight back to her parents.

What kind of an attitude is that? If things don't work out how you want them to you can simply start over again with a new wife? And what makes you think your next wife will be any better?

I've already explained to you the probable reason to her complaints, and if you want to go ahead and fix things your way rather than just simply listen, understand and comfort her then your going down a dead end.

I think its time to put this hadith of Imam Ali:

O people, obey not the women in any case, nor trust them with money, nor let them be in charge of the children, for if they are left to do what pleases them, they will lead (you) to troubles and transgress the rights of the lords...

If we take this literally then women cant get a job, neither can they be mothers, so what is left for them to do with their life? Worship? But even that would be pointless because according to Imam Ali women are deficient in intellect.

Be careful with your application and your understanding of these Ahadeeth.

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Do you realise how bad some of these relationship books can be? They have no scientific basis for some of their claims. They generalise human behaviour after taking only a small portion of humans as their examples. You can't expect all humans to behave like a sample of fasiqeen.

What a fasiq lady expects from her husband in regards to love and emotional security won't be too different from what a muslimah would expect. There will be obvious differences in their moral and ethical framework, I agree, but there are also fundamental innate similarities in what they both seek from a relationship.

http://entertainment...icle2602555.ece "Language professor Deborah Cameron tells why the modern myth that the sexes are on different planets when it comes to communication is wrong and dangerous"

Are you married?

If you want to read books by someone who has actually done done proper research into the dynamics of communication in marriage (and outside) then read the books of Dr John Gottman as a start.

Will check it out. Shukran.

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OMg ........ instead of things getting sorted out i think they are getting more complicated.......... :squeez:

bro hassan.......... what exactly do you want your wife to be like..........??? what exactly is your way of sorting things out?

i feel thats your are biased towards your wife......?????

to the OP : if you want your wife to stop complaining about your mom then listen to her........ really listen........ discuss the possible solutions with her.....then address and resolve those issues ASAP, .........i strongly feel that the reason your wife dosent want to discuss them with your mother is that she might feel her MIL's attitude might change towards her ........ so you hav to reassure her, comfort her and stand by her where you feel she is right, as you havent told us exactly waht the issues are i cant say wether your wife is right about them or not..........but please be a fair judge....... she left her whole family and near and dear ones to start a life with you..... and you are not just a son anymore you are also a husband...... and you should be fair......

how many wives do you plan to throw out.....?? do you think you are perfect or do you honestly think you are a better person than your wife?

to Ali the lion : first of all i feel sorry for your wife.

instead of trying to make things better for this bro and his marriage your are merely adding fuel to the fire....... :mad:

i am a sister and i knew of the hadeeth........ but where does that hadeeth fit in this scenario.........???? do not forget if this bro wife is woman so is her mother and so are your wife and mom ........ bibi Fatimeh (as), the mother of our 12 Imams (as) and Bibi Zainab (as) and bibi Khadija (as) were all women.........

to shermin : i ll repeat once again......... moving to another house dosent mean abandoning his mother........ right now he's is newly married and both he and his wife need time to adjust with each other..... once things are settled between them he and his bro can share equal responsibilties regarding the mother....... and the brother when he gets married can have some time on his own too when hes newly married, Imam ali's (as) parents never lived in the same house with him, nor did any of his sons once they got married..... following the lifestyle of our imams....... Path to hell ......???asthagfirullah......

divorcing ones wife unjustly is not going to get him to jannat either.......

Edited by ray-of-light

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What a fasiq lady expects from her husband in regards to love and emotional security won't be too different from what a muslimah would expect. There will be obvious differences in their moral and ethical framework, I agree, but there are also fundamental innate similarities in what they both seek from a relationship.

In general I can't disagree with your statement but with other issues that are mentioned in such books, we need to be careful with what we take from them.

Are you married?

No I am not. Brother I am not doubting that there are differences between men and women (one gender being more communal, empathetic, sensitive etc) but all I am doing is pointing out that these differences may no be as simple as what these books say and the books may be flawed in many areas because their content is based on speculation and personal observation, not scientific research. Take this example: "When men do communicate, they like to get to the point, and generally only want to listen if they feel the conversation has a point; women enjoy talking for its own sake, and are happy to listen unconditionally." Do you think a general statement like that is very helpful? Who says men don't like to listen to their close ones unless there is a point to the conversation?

On a side note, I also believe that many of these difficulties that both genders face is simply due to the fact that they get married to each other. For example you hear men saying about women: "They are very complicated" and women saying the same about men only because women marry men. People generally don't marry their own gender so they don't complain about them and thus don't go to such extremes to analyse them.

Brother check out these extracts from the book book I mentioned earlier:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2007/oct/01/gender.books

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2007/oct/02/gender.familyandrelationships

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2007/oct/03/gender.politicsphilosophyandsociety1

Edited by Muhammed Ali

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EDITED

This is nonsense. If the parents are able to look after themselves, it is preferable to live seperatly from them after marriage. That doesn't mean the family bond should't remain strong, or that the children shouldn't look after the parents once they are incapable of looking after themselves.

Edited by Zareen

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EDITED

So you're saying the best type of husband is one who is into co-living? *roll eyes*

The Imams must've been horrid husbands then!

Edited by Zareen

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EDITED

Dont assume the worst of people. I live 2 mins away from both my mum and my in-laws. We have a wonderful relationship, despite not living under the same roof. I'm assuming you live with both your parents and parents in-law.

Edited by Zareen

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Really? Did the daughter of the Prophet (saw) live with her father when she married? Mind you, he was the best of men. Did her husband, an Imam, live with his parents when he got married? Ditto for the others?

Little knowledge is dangerous sister. Were the parents of Imam Ali (as) alive when he married Bibi Fatema (as)?

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Little knowledge is dangerous sister. Were the parents of Imam Ali (as) alive when he married Bibi Fatema (as)?

Ok i wasn't thinking when i typed the second part. But the rest is still valid. Stop assuming those who dont live with their parents when they get married are 'abandoning' them. And you didn't answer my question before about whether you live with your parents and inlaws.

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Little knowledge is dangerous sister. Were the parents of Imam Ali (as) alive when he married Bibi Fatema (as)?

Please stop with the nonsense. Nowhere is it recommended to live in a joint family system in Islam. If you have any examples from the lives of the Imams (as), then please provide them.

2. Extended & Nuclear Family Systems

Human family systems are normally divided into two types: Extended (or Joint) Family System and Nuclear (or Separate) Family System.

Extended Family System

In this system, all members of a clan: father, son, brother, sister, uncle, nephew, and others live together. The income of the individual is not treated as his personal property, rather it belongs to the family and the expenses of all members are met by that ‘family or collective income’. This system intends to promote togetherness, mutual trust and co-operation among the family members. However, this system also breeds the attitude of laziness and dependency among some family members, and, as a result, it also kills the initiative to work harder among some others. (The Hindu society is based on the extended family system.)

Nuclear Family System:

In this system, everybody is responsible for his own immediate dependants only. His income belongs to him and not to the ‘family’. This system lacks the disadvantages of the Extended Family System but it also breeds self-centeredness and selfishness.

3. The Islamic View

What does Islam prefer? The family system advanced by Islam has combined the advantages of both systems mentioned above and has avoided their disadvantages.

On the one hand, Islam endorses the set-up of the nuclear (or separate) family system since it has clearly defined the people for whom you must provide. On the other hand, it has strongly emphasized on the issue of silatu 'r-rahm (keeping the bond of relationship intact) thus promoting the virtue of helping the relatives.

In Islam, a family can take the following two shapes:

· a couple and their children.

or

· a couple, their parents and their children.

This definition is based on the law which defines the persons whose maintenance is your obligation: your wife, your parents, and your children. These people are your dependents, it is obligatory upon you to provide for them. Imam Ja`far as-Sadiq (a.s.) said:

“The ways of spending one's wealth are twenty-four in all...Thus, the five ways in which spending wealth is obligatory (wajib) are the expenses of the maintenance of one's children, father, mother, wife and slave. These expenses are obligatory upon him whether he is financially in constrain or affluent.”

As for your cousins, uncles and aunts, they are your “relatives” but not your “dependents”. That is, it is not obligatory upon you to provide for your relatives. However, in Islam, it is importance to have good relations with your relatives, and to love, respect and help them. Imam as-Sadiq further says: “And the five strongly recommended expenses are: dedication of perpetual gift, doing good to one's relatives, doing good to other believers, recommended charity and emancipation of slaves.”

Both aspects of this Islamic view are clear from verse 24:61.

There is no blame upon...you if you eat (without permission) in your own houses, the houses of your fathers, the houses of your mothers, the houses of your brothers, the houses of your sisters, the houses of your paternal uncles, the houses of your paternal aunts, the houses of your maternal uncles, the houses of your maternal aunts, the house which is in your trust, and the house of your friend.

The verse, on the one hand, clearly mentions separate houses for fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, uncles and other relatives thus implying that one should not put the burden of his dependants even on one's parents or other family-members forever; one must be self-reliant and self-supporting.

On the other hand, to promote unity, love, friendship, and also to be aware of each other's situation, the verse allows you to go and eat at the houses of your extended family members without prior permission.

4. Examples in History

We also find many examples in the lives of the Holy Prophet and his Ahlu 'l-bayt which prove that they had lived separately from their extended family-members.

There was a famine in Mecca in 35 `Āmul Fil (i.e., 35 years after the birth of the Prophet). Abu Talib, the Prophet's uncle, had many children and his means of livelihood were limited at that time. The Holy Prophet, who himself had been raised by Abu Talib, felt that his uncle was facing financial difficulties. He, therefore, suggested to his other uncle `Abbas (who was wealthy at that time) to help Abu Talib. `Abbas went with the Prophet to Abu Talib. After some discussion, they decided to share the expenses of Abu Talib's sons: ‘Ali should live with the Prophet, Ja`far with `Abbas, and `Aqil was to remain with Abu Talib.

This shows that the house of the Prophet was separate from that of Abu Talib. This was so, in spite of the close relationship between Abu Talib and Prophet Muhammad. This event also gives an example of silatu 'r-rahm.

During the last Ramadhan of his life, Imam ‘Ali used to break his fast one day at the house of Imam Hasan, next day at the house of Imam Husayn, and the third day at the house of his son-in-law, `Abdullah bin Ja`far. This shows two things: our Imams had separate houses with their own family but, at the same time, they fulfilled the duty of silatu 'r-rahm.

These two examples are sufficient to guide Muslims in their daily life. If any Muslim ventures to deviate from this straight path, he will no longer remain on the path of Islam. It is only by following this Islamic code that mankind can obtain peace of mind in this life and everlasting happiness in the life hereafter.

http://www.al-islam.org/islam_faith_practice_history/34.htm

Edited by Haider Husayn

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Sis, "amr bil maaroof" is "ali the lion" from another account.

Think you've already figured that out lol. :D

LOLLL i just realised, the one people were saying has multiple accounts so they 'agree' with him! hahahaha that so sad! I should've realised when he kept ignoring anything that had him cornered rofl :lol:

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What do you think?

Bro I think she just wants you to listen to her. In the house, she sees you (alone) as a close friend. However, you are probably away most of the day. So when you come back, she needs to share her feelings (good or bad - well mostly frustration) with you. So just listen to her, acknowledge that she goes through a lot, appreciate her, maybe plan occassional dinner in a fancy restaurant (just you two) and thats about it. You don't have to share her feelings with anyone. Never ever share private discussions unless agreed cz it does hurt and your better half can lose trust. Communicate with her. Let her know that you sort of realise that you shouldn't have shared her thoughts with your mother and how it makes her uncomfortable and embarassed. And move on....

Salams

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(salam)I have to agree with you that keeping quiet will not solve this issue. It appears that you are trying and have tried to address a number of issues brought by your wife.Does your wife get along with your mother? I don't mean on the superficial way. Do they really get along? None of us here know the exact dynamic of your family. But based on all the problems that she has highlighted so far, do you think these problems are re-occurring in nature or are they fixable (one time only)?

WOW ! Grow up.

Are u suggesting that some situation requires dumping parents?

Mod's Note: Did you even read what I posted? Desist from derailing this topic. Do you think we (moderators) are not aware of all your other accounts? Have some respect to others who are trying to help the brother.

Edited by Zareen
warning

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Mod's Note: Did you even read what I posted? Desist from derailing this topic. Do you think we (moderators) are not aware of all your other accounts? Have some respect to others who are trying to help the brother.

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(salam)

Shermin,

Don't blackmail people or tell them they are going to hell. You only sound immature. And do not turn this discussion into men vs women fight.

Not everyone can give constructive marital advice. Please let people other than yourselves help the brother.

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(salam)Shermin,Don't blackmail people or tell them they are going to hell. You only sound immature. And do not turn this discussion into men vs women fight. Not everyone can give constructive marital advice. Please let people other than yourselves help the brother.

Dont lie sis. I tried my best. Allah is my witness. You will be answerable.

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May be its not easy for her to raise some issues with your mum. She was brought up one way. You cant expect her to move into a new house with a new family and change the way she deals with things.. If she prefers not to say anything to your mum, at least shes telling you, so shes not really keeping it all bottled in. She's confiding in you as her husband. She wants you to listen to her, if you dont want to argue with her just try understand things from her point of view rather then telling her she needs to grow up or go address the issue with your mum...

Here's a summary:

WORDS WOMEN USE

******************************

FINE

This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right

and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks -

this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES

This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your

football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an

even trade.

NOTHING

This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is

usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you

inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an

argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows! )

This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over

"Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)

This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will

get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by

"Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when

she cools off.

LOUD SIGH

This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often

misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at

that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and

arguing with you over "Nothing"

SOFT SIGH

Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she

is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay

content.

THAT'S OKAY

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a

man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before

paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is

often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."

GO AHEAD!

At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big

trouble.

PLEASE DO

This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance

to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is

that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful

and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"

THANKS

A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT

This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when

she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in

some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not

to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you

"Nothing"

LOL, it's true *ashamed*... Youre missing one though the killer look in the womans eyes.

I think its time to put this hadith of Imam Ali (as)

O people, obey not the women in any case, nor trust them with money, nor let them be in charge of the children, for if they are left to do what pleases them, they will lead (you) to troubles and transgress the rights of the lords. We found them to be unhesitating when they are in need, impatient when their (sexual) lust is at peak, wasteful spending is part of them even if they are old, and self-admiration follows them even at their senior age. They don't appreciate the plenty (that they possess) when they are prevented (from acquiring) the little. They forget the good and recall the bad. They rush to falsehood, insist on arrogance and follow Satan. So deal with them in any case, address them well that their deeds be well (as a result).

Are you lost?

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Coward

You loose as always.

Why delete my posts. If I was derailing than why delete the proofs. Let the readers decide.

Once a Paki always a Paki. :)

Mod's Note: Welcome to the Mods Preview. None of your posts will appear until they are approved by a moderator.

Edited by Zareen
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(salam),

What's up with these women these days? I am sick and tired of hearing these mother/daughter in law issues. It's like no one is willing to try to fit into a given situation, everyone wants it their way. MILs want control and the wifey wants control and the poor man ends up getting sandwiched in the middle and suffers the most.

As long as you and your wife have your privacy, then there is absolutely no problem with the mother staying in the house. Both the MIL and DIL need to make an effort to get to know one another better, make some sacrifices and learn to relax a bit because at the end of the day that's what wins hearts, provides happiness and helps build healthy relations within the house.

Hassan, I say you man up and tell your wife straight up that you will not tolerate such complains from her and that she needs to learn how to live with a MIL (given that the MIL knows her limits as well). Just let her know as it is, and never give up on your parents because they sacrificed everything for you when you were dependent on them. Keep encouraging her to discuss issues with your mother whenever she has a problem (obviously in a polite and respectful manner) because I feel this communication will prove to be a healthy strategy for the future and both women will learn even more about one another and close the gaps.

Edited by hubbe_hussein110

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