Abuse Of Temporary Marriages Flourishes In Iraq

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NPR: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=130350678

Abuse Of Temporary Marriages Flourishes In Iraq

by Kelly McEvers

October 19, 2010

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October 19, 2010

The practice of temporary marriage has long been common in Shiite Muslim communities, especially in Iran. The idea is that rather than having an affair, a man who wants to be sexually involved with a woman should marry her — for a few months, or even, hours — so the relationship will be legitimate.

In Iraq, the practice was banned under Saddam Hussein but then flourished after the American invasion. Now, though, some men are using the system to take advantage of poor women, and many of Iraq's Shiites say the very religious institutions that sanction such marriages are to blame.

One mother of three, who is so ashamed about what happened to her she doesn't want to give her name, says her husband abandoned her when she found out he preferred men. She had no way to support the family.

A religious figure in her neighborhood promised to help. He brought her to his home, locked the door and had sex with her. He offered her $15.

For the man at least, it was a brief moment of muta'a, the Arabic word for pleasure — and the Arabic word for temporary marriage.

The woman says the man who had sex with her worked with leading Shiite religious clerics in the Iraqi city of Najaf. It's one of the most revered places in Shiite Islam.

Tales Of The Temporary Marriage

Another woman, Kawthar Kadhim, says she approached a religious scholar who works with one of the clerics and asked for help. Her husband had left her after the Gulf War, she says. Her father had tuberculosis and was coughing up blood. And her mother was paralyzed.

The scholar told her to lift the veil from her face, she says. And then he basically proposed.

"He said, 'Would she accept to marry me, muta'a marriage?' I said, 'No'," Kadhim says through an interpreter. "And when he found out that I was refusing to marry him, he said, 'OK, let her go home and then I will send for her if I get some money.' And he never did that. He never sent for me."

Other women in Najaf told us that religious offices help poor women only if they're pretty, which makes them good candidates for muta'a marriage.

One said her brothers won't allow her to go near such places, for fear she'll be tricked into a temporary arrangement.

Nagham Kadhim runs a women's rights group in Najaf. She says muta'a marriage is a sensitive subject in the holy city. But she says abuse of the practice is common. "The muta'a marriage happens when there is an economic factor, like when the woman is poor and [does] not have money," she says through an interpreter. "And the religious institution would offer her those job opportunities, through working for a kindergarten, looking after children. And then she would receive like 100,000 dinars."

That's about a $100 a month. Once the women get the job, Kadhim says the institution will host seminars about temporary marriage to convince them the practice is acceptable.

The 'Right Way' To Do A Muta'a Marriage

Aqil al Shammari is a religious scholar who works with a handful of leading figures in Iraq's Shiite community. He explains that muta'a marriage goes all the way back to the Prophet Muhammad, who once told his traveling companions they could purchase a wife with a handful of dates if they were away from their regular wives.

Shammari says he has temporarily married at least five women, while traveling. Each time, he says, he paid them. He made sure they used birth control. He kept his agreement to be married for only a month. And he didn't do anything to sully their reputations afterward.

This, he says, is the right way to do muta'a marriage.

But the line between the right way and the wrong way may be very fine.

Shammari insists that the abuse of muta'a marriage is still rare in Iraq. He says he wouldn't mind his daughter or sister entering into a temporary marriage, if the man is pious and religiously committed.

But then he gets a sly look on his face. Of course, he says, such a man is hard to find.

[Noah-]

There might be some cases of this...... people even abuse the permanent marriages and other issues in their daily lives. This is nothing but a Sunni and Zionist propaganda to create negative image of Shia Islam. Iraq of today is a country where Muta is very important and necessary. Millions of orphans and widows of wars are living amongst Shia communities. They must help them out, make permanent marriages, even people should start having two wives, or at least temp. marriages.

[Úáí ÑÖÇ]

i remember a hadith by Imam where he says if u go in for mutah donot tell people about it

one reason might b tht no one is ever gonna take it as a legal way of preventing illegal relationship

i c parents ready to neglect thr childrens indulge in haraam activies rather than bonding them in mutah

u never no what intention these people have

only Allah knows best :)

[dasayy]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYM-LfDnwIg

[Úáí ÑÖÇ]

ve already seen these documentries

wht makes us feel tht this is a legit

u never no, it might b a western propoganda

on the other side, thr desnt seem to b nothing wrong with sigah

unless it is without sigah ita haraam

we never no wht are intentions of the person, how come we comment

xx

[DayStrike312]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYM-LfDnwIg

OHmyGOSH!!!

[Saintly_Jinn23]

I don't feel temporary marriage is bad in and of itself, but I think when handled improperly it leads to sexual immorality that borders on prostitution.Hell, sometimes it is prostitution. I'm not the kind who believes that just saying a few holy words suddenly means your intention is pure. Your mouth can say something holy and pure but Allah knows your heart's desires.

Edited March 15, 2011 by Saintly_Jinn23

[Livindesert]

Your mouth can say something holy and pure but Allah knows your heart's desires.

Very true!

Edited March 15, 2011 by Livindesert

[Hameedeh]

ve already seen these documentries

wht makes us feel tht this is a legit

u never no, it might b a western propoganda

on the other side, thr desnt seem to b nothing wrong with sigah

unless it is without sigah ita haraam

we never no wht are intentions of the person, how come we comment

xx

(bismillah)

(salam)

I agree with you. But I would add that the OP topic is about mutah in Iraq after the fall of Saddam, and now it is off-topic about mutah in Iran.

I don't know if everyone in the two videos are real people or just poor people who were paid to re-enact these scenes.

Definitely this is western propoganda by BBC, Danish Film Institute, TV2/Denmark, and CBC.

The only reason to film the sordid life of two wayward women is to put down Islam.

[Úáí ÑÖÇ]

(bismillah)

(salam)

I agree with you. But I would add that the OP topic is about mutah in Iraq after the fall of Saddam, and now it is off-topic about mutah in Iran.

I don't know if everyone in the two videos are real people or just poor people who were paid to re-enact these scenes.

Definitely this is western propoganda by BBC, Danish Film Institute, TV2/Denmark, and CBC.

The only reason to film the sordid life of two wayward women is to put down Islam.

Alaikhom Salaam

Exactly, we never no if the people portrayed are legit

the american and the british have used millions to propagate distrust and cause a civil stife in iran thorugh the media

n this might just b the one :)

[Shia Fursan]

(salam)

*yawn* Yet another "Something that is being abused is bad for you!" propoganda from the Zionist mainstream media.

The woman in the first article mentions one person who declined to be named (Ie. they dont really exist), and the 2nd person has been named, then mentions "other women" - basically, she only has ONE PERSON in the whole of Iraq who has admitted to selling their body for money. Said journalist was also an embedded jounralist (ie. went around with the American army when they invaded Iraq), so she has no credibility.

Oh wow.

One person.

One whole person.

From how many hundreds of millions of shia in the world? Mathematically speaking, having a representation of 1 person gives you a 100% error rate.

[B-nCaesar]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYM-LfDnwIg

[guest786]

(bismillah)

(salam)

I agree with you. But I would add that the OP topic is about mutah in Iraq after the fall of Saddam, and now it is off-topic about mutah in Iran.

I don't know if everyone in the two videos are real people or just poor people who were paid to re-enact these scenes.

Definitely this is western propoganda by BBC, Danish Film Institute, TV2/Denmark, and CBC.

The only reason to film the sordid life of two wayward women is to put down Islam.

Thank you , you wrote exactly what i wanted to say !

This original Post/article is quite old btw

[Gypsy]

(salam)

Would some of you prefer women to prostitute rather than getting married, however temporary it may be?

I don't know if everyone in the two videos are real people or just poor people who were paid to re-enact these scenes.

Definitely this is western propoganda by BBC, Danish Film Institute, TV2/Denmark, and CBC.

The only reason to film the sordid life of two wayward women is to put down Islam.

It could be an act. Did you see the woman saying she doesn't want her neighbor to know about the muta. If so, then why the heck is she giving interview and acting nicely in front of the camera? Wouldn't the whole world know what she is up to?

[kadhim]

Muta'a is a perfectly sensible arrangement in so many circumstances, assuming it is pursued in the right way and mindset.

The Muslim community needs to make a shift in the way it talks about muta'a, from a sort of mechanical, animalistic discourse explaining it as a way to scratch a physiological itch, to a discourse along the lines of muta'a as one form of legitimate multifaceted human relationship - an emotional, social, intellectual, and physical connection between two people based on multiple levels of mutual needs and based on duties and responsibilities, both fiqhi and ethically of each toward the other.

Part of the problem comes from the ulema, who, for simplicity of classification, I guess, traditionally group marriage law along with economic transactions. Which has merit in a certain restricted sense but misses a lot at the same time.

It is a matter of understanding from a level of fiqh versus a more fine grained perspective of interpersonal ethics.

There is a great need for Muslim communities to educate the young effectively about relationships in all their complexity from the standpoints of ethics and morality.

Anyway, the point will become more pressing in coming years. In the collision between traditional Islamic societies and the realities of modernity, one of two things will have to happen for young people to keep their Islamic values while fulfilling their natural needs for relationships with the opposite gender:

1. Parents will need to relax the artificial barriers to early marriage

2. Mutaa will become the norm, the Islamic equivalent to the relatively successful Western norm of serial monogamy in the form of dating before attempting permanent marriage.

The second of these is the more likely in my assessment.

[Saintly_Jinn23]

/\ /\ /\

That's what worries me though about temporary marriage. With the wrong mindset, it just turns into masturbation and an avoiding of responsibility and deeper relationships.

[kadhim]

/\ /\ /\

That's what worries me though about temporary marriage. With the wrong mindset, it just turns into masturbation and an avoiding of responsibility and deeper relationships.

That's where community leaders need to step in and educate youths about the responsibilities and complexities of adult relationships.

[hubbe_hussein110]

That's where community leaders need to step in and educate youths about the responsibilities and complexities of adult relationships.

(salam) ^^

There we go, atleast you do admit that adult relationships are complex in nature and that the youth should be educated on the topic. ^_^

[kadhim]

(salam) ^^

There we go, atleast you do admit that adult relationships are complex in nature and that the youth should be educated on the topic. ^_^

Don't recall ever suggesting any different.

[Abdaal]

In Iran you need a permit to do muta. Its not as easy as people portray. I think this places some restriction. However, I wonder if the same rule applies in Iraq.

[AbidiScene]

Muta'a is truly a blessing for the Ummah. However, a society/individual cannot find equilibrium in its moral structure based alone on Muta'a , rather there should be an equal promotion of self-control. When Muta'a is disregarded for liberal ways or irrational repression of desires by religious thinking; there is fornication and outward/inward lewdness. And where self-control is totally disregarded by religious doctrines; there is moral corruption in its followers.

Praise be to Allah for Islam and it's correct interpretation by the Ahlulbayt (A)

[Basra]

Sadly, what is often termed "survival sex" happens in most poor, oppressed "third world" nations and even among many homeless children in the US (mostly runaways and others). This sad reality of "survival sex" often leads women (even in America) to turn to prostitution in order to survive. It seems the case of Iraq is no different after the genocide Bush and his American imperialist ilk have carried out against the oppressed Iraqi people. But if something happens under the "cover" of Nikah Mutah the scholars and men in power need to speak up and try with all their might to stop this or Allah(SWT) will call them to account. I question everything I hear in Western propaganda media however. Nikah Mutah is allowed and is blessed if done correctly and according to true Islamic Shari'ah.

Again US genocide against the oppressed Iraqi people.

Edited March 18, 2011 by Basra

[ShiaBen]

I think eventually mutah will evolve to the point where it will become Islamic dating.

I don't think it will remain as temporary marriage.

I've seen countless # of people that are abusing it.

I can't say if it this is wrong or right, because the parties seem at ease.

But I can say, if it does end up becoming a legalized version of Islamic dating, then I'll have to say it's a lot more safer and cleaner than the forms of dating we see here in the West.

Possibly less STD's, less unwanted pregnancies, less abortions, etc. Much more advantages than conventional Westernized dating, me thinks.

[Úáí ÑÖÇ]

does it not seem logical to go in for mutah then commit fornication and masturbation which is deemed haraam

its not onto us to decide if mutah will eventually turn into islamic dating or something of sort

i am sure the imams were well aware of these issues

if people are abusing temporary marriage who are we to judge them

the least we can do is go in for mutah rather than other form of sexual pleasures

n Allah is all knowing,

i have heard a saying from the imam

who says when u enter into mutah contact dont mention it to others

it might just b that people might take it in the wrong way

to conclude it is an honour for a person to be involved in a legitimate relationship through mutah

rather than illegitimate ones

and we must except that the person has atleast tried his best to stay away from haraam

rather than criticising and judging his action which is none of our business

[El Peace]

Part of the problem comes from the ulema, who, for simplicity of classification, I guess, traditionally group marriage law along with economic transactions. Which has merit in a certain restricted sense but misses a lot at the same time.

It is a matter of understanding from a level of fiqh versus a more fine grained perspective of interpersonal ethics.

There is a great need for Muslim communities to educate the young effectively about relationships in all their complexity from the standpoints of ethics and morality.

How are the youth supposed to understand if the scholars are spreading the wrong? On sistani and fadhl Allah's website, there are questions regarding mut'ah. You should take a read of them. They say that a married man is allowed to do mut'ah (which is wrong) and that mut'ah is allowed to be for a few hours, days, etc (which is also wrong).

Someone stated something above about the orphans and widows in Iraq? Well let me give you a brief history of polygamy. During the war of Uhd the kufaar (who outnumbered the Muslims) were coming to strike the Prophet and the sahaba. So the Prophet asked some of the sahaba to remain at home because the army was too strong and if they killed to many sahabas, who would look after their wives and children? But, they didn't listen and went with the Prophet and so..many were killed. This left many widows and orphans around who were likely to get raped and assaulted by the kufaar. So the ayah came down:

"And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hand possesses. That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice]" [4:3 Al-Quran]

So all of this is applied to the orphans/widows so that they are protected...so they should be able to go into a permanent marriage not mut'ah. It would be injust to say that mut'ah should be done with orphans/widows and not an ordinary woman because to Allah, we are equal and have the same rights. Because everything in the Quran applies to every generation and place, the scholars have put conditions for the man that wants to marry more than one. Either the wife is sick and he cannot fulfill his needs with her, she is not willing to let him fulfill his needs, or she cannot give him children.

Mut'ah on the otherhand, was for the men that travelled and stayed (for a number of months) away from their wives. They were allowed to go into mut'ah but had to give the woman rights and if any children were born, he was held responsible for them just like he would be for the children of his permanent wife. Widows are preffered in this situation due to the importance society lays on making sure a girl is virgin before getting married for the first time, etc.

For the young men (that are not married) and have sexual desires but cannot afford a permanent marriage, they are allowed to go into mut'ah given that they intend into going into a permanent marriage once he is financially stable.

The controversy surrounding temporary and permanent marriages

Islam and Polygamy

Mut'ah has been abused, no doubt. But that doesn't make it wrong. It is upto the person to practice it the right way. Allah knows the intentions of every single one of us and only He is to judge.

A lot of Muslims think mut'ah is just like becoming a prostitute...whenever needed, there was someone to do it with and then bye. No, Allah would never make lawful what is harmful to us. Islam is the most sensible religion and it's laws are sensible; you just have to see the conditions of the laws and their context to know whether the same is applied to today's world.

"There is no compulsion in religion. The right direction is henceforth distinct from error. And he who rejecteth false deities and believeth in Allah hath grasped a firm handhold which will never break. Allah is Hearer, Knower." [2:256 Al-Quran]

Edited March 21, 2011 by El Peace

[Nevermindnever]

Good, now those poor boys don't have to be so sexually repressed...

and get into suicide bombing instead

[Úáí ÑÖÇ]

How are the youth supposed to understand if the scholars are spreading the wrong? On sistani and fadhl Allah's website, there are questions regarding mut'ah. You should take a read of them. They say that a married man is allowed to do mut'ah (which is wrong) and that mut'ah is allowed to be for a few hours, days, etc (which is also wrong).

Someone stated something above about the orphans and widows in Iraq? Well let me give you a brief history of polygamy. During the war of Uhd the kufaar (who outnumbered the Muslims) were coming to strike the Prophet and the sahaba. So the Prophet asked some of the sahaba to remain at home because the army was too strong and if they killed to many sahabas, who would look after their wives and children? But, they didn't listen and went with the Prophet and so..many were killed. This left many widows and orphans around who were likely to get raped and assaulted by the kufaar. So the ayah came down:

"And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hand possesses. That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice]" [4:3 Al-Quran]

So all of this is applied to the orphans/widows so that they are protected...so they should be able to go into a permanent marriage not mut'ah. It would be injust to say that mut'ah should be done with orphans/widows and not an ordinary woman because to Allah, we are equal and have the same rights. Because everything in the Quran applies to every generation and place, the scholars have put conditions for the man that wants to marry more than one. Either the wife is sick and he cannot fulfill his needs with her, she is not willing to let him fulfill his needs, or she cannot give him children.

Mut'ah on the otherhand, was for the men that travelled and stayed (for a number of months) away from their wives. They were allowed to go into mut'ah but had to give the woman rights and if any children were born, he was held responsible for them just like he would be for the children of his permanent wife. Widows are preffered in this situation due to the importance society lays on making sure a girl is virgin before getting married for the first time, etc.

For the young men (that are not married) and have sexual desires but cannot afford a permanent marriage, they are allowed to go into mut'ah given that they intend into going into a permanent marriage once he is financially stable.

The controversy surrounding temporary and permanent marriages

Islam and Polygamy

Mut'ah has been abused, no doubt. But that doesn't make it wrong. It is upto the person to practice it the right way. Allah knows the intentions of every single one of us and only He is to judge.

A lot of Muslims think mut'ah is just like becoming a prostitute...whenever needed, there was someone to do it with and then bye. No, Allah would never make lawful what is harmful to us. Islam is the most sensible religion and it's laws are sensible; you just have to see the conditions of the laws and their context to know whether the same is applied to today's world.

"There is no compulsion in religion. The right direction is henceforth distinct from error. And he who rejecteth false deities and believeth in Allah hath grasped a firm handhold which will never break. Allah is Hearer, Knower." [2:256 Al-Quran]

"They say that a married man is allowed to do mut'ah (which is wrong) and that mut'ah is allowed to be for a few hours, days, etc (which is also wrong). "

is it not true we are not allowed to issue fatawas and we are not in a situation to derive rulings from hadith and quran

[El Peace]

is it not true we are not allowed to issue fatawas and we are not in a situation to derive rulings from hadith and quran

Ofcourse, it isn't my fatwa. It is from Sayed Ammar Nakshawani's lecture. That's why i posted the links. You should listen to them. :)

Edited March 24, 2011 by El Peace

[Syrian Sister]

You have to be blind if you can't see how wrong this whole concept is. Oh wait i'm talking to religious people, they willingly poke their own eyes out.

Edited March 25, 2011 by Syrian Sister

[Úáí ÑÖÇ]

Ofcourse, it isn't my fatwa. It is from Sayed Ammar Nakshawani's lecture. That's why i posted the links. You should listen to them. :)

salaam

i didnt listen to the lecture but inshallah will do soon

these might seem to be absurd conditions

but we donot know nothing abt them

our maraje whom we follow state them as ok

thr r a few narrations abt a married man not allowed to go in for mutah

but otherwise i must say we follow what our scholars narrate

i am sure they r much more aware of the rulings than us

i have had the apportunity to personally ask abt these issue with the office of the maraje

Allah knows best

[Abu Nur]

Yes, people always try to satisfaction their desire in negative way. Now they take Mut'a and corrupt it.

Edited March 28, 2011 by Zufa

[ShiaBen]

The purpose of this act was to prevent prostitution both during the prophet's time and in today's era.

Unfortunately, now I see a bunch of horny men (some who pray 5x a day, never miss Friday prayers, and are always near mosques) along with the Atheist Muslims who are willing to take advantage of uneducated and poor women for their own pleasures of the flesh.

Well they can BS their minds (at least the alleged "religious" ones) as much as they want, but in the end, they will have to answer for their vices to the lord above, once the day of judgment comes about.

Edited March 30, 2011 by ShiaBen

[El Peace]

The purpose of this act was to prevent prostitution both during the prophet's time and in today's era.

From my research, the purpose of mut'ah was to prevent adultery for the men that went travelling for a number of months. Can you please show me proof of what you stated above?