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maula dhi matami

Considering Wearing An Abaya But Still In Two Mind

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(bismillah)

(salam)

I’ll get straight to the point I am considering wearing an abaya like full time meaning everywhere I go work and Inshallah University as well. But I’m finding it really difficult to actually take this step I have been thinking about making this move for like over a year but now I’m not too sure. Any abaya sisters help? Like I live in England and in the area I live in it’s very rare to get a girl wearing an abaya but then again I’d feel much more comfortable any opinions but don’t go off topic :D

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(bismillah)

(salam)

I’ll get straight to the point I am considering wearing an abaya like full time meaning everywhere I go work and Inshallah University as well. But I’m finding it really difficult to actually take this step I have been thinking about making this move for like over a year but now I’m not too sure. Any abaya sisters help? Like I live in England and in the area I live in it’s very rare to get a girl wearing an abaya but then again I’d feel much more comfortable any opinions but don’t go off topic :D

Ensha Allah, I think it's a great decision. If there is no danger of life, then do it! :D

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lol not the type of answers i was expecting but hey thanks

i don't believe no girl on s/c wears an abaya :unsure: i just like need a sort of boost to take this step so thanks :angel:

I dont wear it, but go for it if its what you want! :)

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(wasalam)

Do you mean the over-the-head abaya, like what they wear in Iraq or Lebanon? Or like a long robe/dress that they wear in UAE and elsewhere?

I used to wear abaya sometimes but people look at me reaaaaaaaaaaaaally funny when I do so I stopped. If you can find a plain dress that covers the same way I think that's best, but if people around you are more liberal, then go for it! I stick with long denim dresses/coats that make me look totally American but still hide everything.

I think wearing long, loose garments all the time is one of the most wonderful things you can do in public as a woman. It helps separate you from more fashion-conscious hijabis and people who aren't serious about Islam, not to mention it makes strangers pause a moment before addressing you, often getting more respect.

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(salam)

:huh: What part of England are you from mate? It's the most racist place I've been to on the planet :squeez:

Wassalam

Yeah Racism in Europe in general makes them seem like they are still stuck in the dark ages. Even America is a heck of a lot less racist these days.

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(bismillah)

(salam)

Salam Sister, I can tell you from experience it is such a wonderful transition!! I'm still in high school and I started with abaya about a year ago, what I found helpful is that i would wear abaya one day, then wear something "western" the next (by western i mean like jeans and a long jacket).

It's both a easy transition for you and for the network of people around you, and eventually you will feel more comfortable and wear it all the time :)

As long as you have the faith, support, and motivation it will not be difficult for you! And its honestly the best thing to wear in the summer!!! It contradicts what people think, about how in the summer you have to show skin so you don't get hot from the weather, honestly if you wear a light material abaya and pretty much nothing underneath ur good to go for those hot summer days :)

Inshallah I hope you find this next step in your life a worthwhile one and i'm happy to know another sister is boarding the abaya train :)

GoodLuck!! <3

(wasalam)

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(salam)

:huh: What part of England are you from mate? It's the most racist place I've been to on the planet :squeez:

Wassalam

England.. racist?? There's racism everywhere but England ( especially London, where I'm from) is full of Muslims... you can't tell me that the people in America, Canada or Australia are less racist than the people in England? Even if the people here are racist they don't show it.

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(salam)

^Mate, perhaps you've lived all your life in London and that is why you don't exactly notice it - but London (the only city I've visited numerous times in England) is the most racist place I have ever been to. And yes I can tell you that Canada is heck of a lot less racist than London - because it is. I don't even think you can compare the two countries. And just because a country or city is full of Muslims doesn't mean it is any less racist - just look at France, Netherlands etc. Europe in general is well known for its racism.

Yeah Racism in Europe in general makes them seem like they are still stuck in the dark ages. Even America is a heck of a lot less racist these days.

I know; tell me about it!

Wassalam

Edited by Aal-e-Imran

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^

I find it hard to believe. I've heard America is more racist than England and not just that but they're not all used to seeing hijabi women. I don't know what part of London you've been to but I can assure you that they're not racist towards hijabis (only the drunk men are sometimes racist).

Edited by Hawraa29

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People tend to think of the place they are visiting as more racist than their own home town or country. It is perhaps due to being at a new/unknown place and insecurities related to travel that one has to face. I don't know. I have lived in England and Scotland for a few years and you know what. When I was in Scotland I've heard from non-white Muslims that England is the most racist place in the UK (they say just compare the nationalist party of Scotland, SNP with the nationalist party of England, BNP and conclude). When I moved to England I was told by Muslims there that Scotland is the most racist place in the UK. They said "they" (the Scottish) are known for "it" (racism). Perhaps mixing anti-English sentiment among nationalist Scots as racism?

On the other hand, though I have not been to either the United States or Canada, I am constantly told by North Americans that Europe is more racist than North America. And we have at least two Britons in this thread (Hawraa29 and Psychopath) who say this is a wrong assessment.

I'm confused. Help :wacko:

Maybe we can start a thread on this topic?

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well I like hijabi clothes more than abayas.. I don't find em comfy much, but it's down to what u really want.. like I don't think girls with abaya r more religious or less.. 2 me it's related to ur fashion taste :yaali:

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(salam)

^

I don't know what part of London you've been to but I can assure you that they're not racist towards hijabis (only the drunk men are sometimes racist).

That butterz little location called Norf Weezy :P.

Ah, you obviously haven't spent much time there.

Have spent enough time to convert it into at least a years worth. How much time to do you need to stay in a place to determine that it is a fairly racist location?

When I moved to England I was told by Muslims there that Scotland is the most racist place in the UK. They said "they" (the Scottish) are known for "it" (racism). Perhaps mixing anti-English sentiment among nationalist Scots as racism?

I've lived in the Middle East for more than a decade and visited London numerous times years before I even moved to Canada. I've felt that way about London long before I moved to Canada and my perception hasn't really changed even after I moved to Canada. I've visited London many more times after my move to Canada. I'm not even Hijabi; but I've seen rude remarks being passed to some females in my family through first hand experience. You should know better, you Paki (wonder how that term came into being).

Maybe we can start a thread on this topic?

Khud hi start ker bhai; itna faaltu time nahi hai meray paas ab :P

Wassalam

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(salam)

On the other hand, though I have not been to either the United States or Canada, I am constantly told by North Americans that Europe is more racist than North America. And we have at least two Britons in this thread (Hawraa29 and Psychopath) who say this is a wrong assessment.

I'm confused. Help :wacko:

Maybe we can start a thread on this topic?

I seconded Ali Imran's views. Don't get me wrong, racism exists everywhere. But it seems that in UK, Muslims do not get a fair chance to integrate in the community like what we have (in Canada and US).

Europe seems to be on all out war against Islam from hejab ban in France, to Minaret ban, insulting cartoons, movie discrediting Islam ..and much more.

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Hm, I beg to differ Al-e-Imran.

I've spent equal amounts of time in England (several cities within England) and Canada (all major cities, and there aren't many ha!) and I've personally never observed any difference in the way I was treated as a Muslim who wears hijab. I've lived in Europe, Asia, the Middle East, and America, so I think I have some pretty good perspective on it too. Its also difficult to judge how "racist" a country is, because are countries are so heterogeneous: there are cities in England far less racist than cities in the United States and Canada and vice versa.

I've also spent extensive time in the Netherlands and Belgium, and despite the crazy politicians, in bigger cities you really don't feel any more or less alienated than you would in any other cosmopolitan city (ie Toronto, New York City and London).

This is not to imply my experiences have been all positive, because they have not: being from the subcontinent and living in the Middle East isn't an easy job because we are at the bottom of the food chain, so to speak. Similarly however, I've been called some pretty derogatory names on numerous occasions both in Canada and the United States. And finally, despite being a European citizen, I am consistently (as in about 90% of the time I fly through Europe) selected for extra screening at the airports purely on the basis of my skin colour and dress.

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Hm, I beg to differ Al-e-Imran.

I've spent equal amounts of time in England (several cities within England) and Canada (all major cities, and there aren't many ha!) and I've personally never observed any difference in the way I was treated as a Muslim who wears hijab. I've lived in Europe, Asia, the Middle East, and America, so I think I have some pretty good perspective on it too. Its also difficult to judge how "racist" a country is, because are countries are so heterogeneous: there are cities in England far less racist than cities in the United States and Canada and vice versa.

I've also spent extensive time in the Netherlands and Belgium, and despite the crazy politicians, in bigger cities you really don't feel any more or less alienated than you would in any other cosmopolitan city (ie Toronto, New York City and London).

This is not to imply my experiences have been all positive, because they have not: being from the subcontinent and living in the Middle East isn't an easy job because we are at the bottom of the food chain, so to speak. Similarly however, I've been called some pretty derogatory names on numerous occasions both in Canada and the United States. And finally, despite being a European citizen, I am consistently (as in about 90% of the time I fly through Europe) selected for extra screening at the airports purely on the basis of my skin colour and dress.

Good to hear you have had some positive experiences. Europe isnt a more racist region because the people there are inherently more racist or something, its simply because they have yet to experience movements as profound as the civil rights movement in the states for example. The civil rights movement in the United States completely transformed the country, there still is a lot of racism to go around, but prior to the civil rights era the US had horrendous racial problems. The civil rights movement brought about all kinds of reforms that had a major civilizing effect on American society. There are other aspects in which Europeans seem more advanced and civilized, for example Europeans tend to have a more democratic approach when it comes implementing social programs and certainly a comparatively more open press. As far as racism, religious tolerance or cultural tolerance is concerned, they seem to lag far behind North America. This is completely understandable. There really is no debate on this front, London as multicultural as it maybe, is certainly not as integrating as Toronto. The whole Burqa ban in France is another example, that sort of thing would be laughed at in Canada, in fact Canada just ruled to allow women to wear Burqas even in court giving testimonies baha. You should also take a look at some of the racism black football players are exposed to in European leagues, its outright suicidal, nothing of that sort is tolerated on such a scale in North America.

Not to mention that America ranks far and above any other country in the world in protecting freedom of speech and freedom of religion, even ahead of Canada.

Europe needs its own civil rights movement, while Americans need to revisit and remind themselves of the sacrifices previous generations made. They are all but being forgotten.

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You know I've read many articles about how racist the middle east is. Press tv (i think) had a thing about how in lebanon, the family 'slave' (well servant who is paid next to nothing and whos passport the family keeps) are not allowed in certain hotels (because they are black)

I know many people from other gulf countries who say the saudis look down on them.

Iraqis have told me they are looked down on in iran, and pilgrims have told me that once they realise you are not iranian, they rip you off.

The list goes on, yes there are some racist people in england, but not more so than anywhere else. And less than many places

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That butterz little location called Norf Weezy :P.

LOL... that name went out of fashion now. I personally think England isn't a racist country and I think Muslims integrate here really well, especially in schools. I don't know how schools are like in America,Canada or Australia...

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You know I've read many articles about how racist the middle east is. Press tv (i think) had a thing about how in lebanon, the family 'slave' (well servant who is paid next to nothing and whos passport the family keeps) are not allowed in certain hotels (because they are black)

I know many people from other gulf countries who say the saudis look down on them.

Iraqis have told me they are looked down on in iran, and pilgrims have told me that once they realise you are not iranian, they rip you off.

The list goes on, yes there are some racist people in england, but not more so than anywhere else. And less than many places

sadly true , though it maybe a selective racism or nationalism or bourgousim ? , the worst who would suffer from this are the asian because they are those who fill the cleaning jobs mostly , pus their jobs include being under the mercy of indivisulas unlike others who would be under the merci of a company with clear contracts and known rights and duties , the system was changed in UAE and recently changed in Kwait , i wish it would be changed in Saudi Arabia though very unlikely unless much pressure is put on it from international organizations

i dont know about lebanon , the far i know is thet their house maids are villigers from same country , i dont know about housemaids from asian countries

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sadly true , though it maybe a selective racism or nationalism or bourgousim ? , the worst who would suffer from this are the asian because they are those who fill the cleaning jobs mostly , pus their jobs include being under the mercy of indivisulas unlike others who would be under the merci of a company with clear contracts and known rights and duties , the system was changed in UAE and recently changed in Kwait , i wish it would be changed in Saudi Arabia though very unlikely unless much pressure is put on it from international organizations

i dont know about lebanon , the far i know is thet their house maids are villigers from same country , i dont know about housemaids from asian countries

I can't find the exact thing, but i understand the maids in lebanon are of Sudanese origin, there are a couple of things online,

http://www.nowlebanon.com/NewsArchiveDetails.aspx?ID=195768

http://beirutiyat.wordpress.com/2010/07/15/testimony-of-a-lifeguard-lebanon-a-racist-country/

actually, just goole 'racism in lebanon' and countless articles come up

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Since we got really off topic here, maybe I can shed some advice for the actual OP

(bismillah)

(salam)

I’ll get straight to the point I am considering wearing an abaya like full time meaning everywhere I go work and Inshallah University as well. But I’m finding it really difficult to actually take this step I have been thinking about making this move for like over a year but now I’m not too sure. Any abaya sisters help? Like I live in England and in the area I live in it’s very rare to get a girl wearing an abaya but then again I’d feel much more comfortable any opinions but don’t go off topic :D

Always where what you feel comfortable in. There are some pretty neat ways for you to dress up in an abaya. If you've ever spent any time in the Middle East you'll know that over there we have ways of 'blinging' up our abayas. Wear a nice necklace, bracelet and colourful hijab to go along with it. If you're up for it, even accessorize with a belt! It actually looks pretty classy, and although you certainly will stand out for being different, that doesn't change that you're dressed pretty nicely.

I know a few girls who wear abaya to university and carry it off pretty well. I don't know if they ever feel conscious about what they're wearing; if they do, they certainly don't show that they're feeling that conscious and as a result, everyone else finds it pretty normal too.

When I'm in the Middle East I love wearing abaya: its so comfortable, and I can still wear my pjs everywhere, without anyone knowing :P

Isnt abaya more of a ... cultural thing? .... i mean , its not for everyone.....

It sure is cultural, but increasingly, I've noticed more and more Muslim cultures adopting the dress. I absolutely love to dress up, but I also enjoy the convenience of an abaya.

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Ensha Allah, I think it's a great decision. If there is no danger of life, then do it! :D

Since when wearing a abaya became life threatening?! That’s jst an exaggeration, don’t you think?! Or maybe you could explain how a simple transition of wearing long skirts or wateva modest clothes to wearing a abaya puts “ur life in danger”?! What kind of extreme threats are you talking about?

I’m not sure of the bases of linking Racism to this topic. But I hope ppl are not linking the experience of racism only to those girls who wear abaya. I don’t think a girl who wears a proper modest hijab but not a abyay wud be free from experiencing racism. Racism wouldn’t pop up suddenly jst because the girl starts to wear the abaya. If there’s going to be any experience of racism it’s going to be similar for both the girl with the abaya and the one with non-abaya modest hijab.

And If theres going to be any huge difference between the levels of experience racism between hijabis, then I think that wud include a girl with a proper hijab vs a girl with a not so proper hijab. And that could obviously be related to the fact that a non-proper hijabi is westernized from head to toe, trying to fit in thro her clothing.

To the OP: If you feel that u need to start wearing the abaya, go for it. All these thoughts about how ppl will treat u and be racist to you jst simply because of what ur going to wear should be all trashed. When u start thinking positively nothing wud have a bad impact on you. So its all about how you think and that level of confidence you have about about urself.

I wear the abaya everywhere I go, work, uni etc. The thought that ppl cud be racist to me jst because of my abaya never crosses my mind. And when u start thinking like that, even when ppl are racists to you, it really doesn’t put u down and you will certainly not link to your clothing.

And wearing a abaya doesn’t mean that ur no longer fashionable or stylish. As one of the sisters mentioned, you can always match ur scarf and ur abaya in very stylish but reasonable way. I usually get the Turkish styles. They’re really nice. If there are any Turkish stores close to you, go check them out, you wudnt kno which one to buy, they’re all nice, so u'd end up blowing ur money on a couple of abayas rather than jst buying one! :squeez:

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well I like hijabi clothes more than abayas.. I don't find em comfy much, but it's down to what u really want.. like I don't think girls with abaya r more religious or less.. 2 me it's related to ur fashion taste :yaali:

Hijab is ain't fashion

Edited by ~*supplication*~

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asalaamu alaikum

well im in the USA and have pretty much solely worn overgarments like abaya (shoulder) or jilbab for much of the past half decade-more like 7-8 yeahs...Ive now started to try to wear overhead abaya when out and about as I feel its better and I like it more. I cant say people dont look...but heck, people look regardless-if you even just have a scarf on your head, people look...but who cares...we dont cover for them...do we?

I dont think it would be very hard, you can start slow-like wear one sometimes or wear colored ones and then progress to the style you find most comfortable in.

I say go ahead, do it...I havent experienced any problems and most of my overgarment wearing friends havent either,

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(salam)

First of all where did racism come into it? :S no matter where you are your always going to get a few racist scum bags but surely its up to us to deal with it in a respectable matter and not being put off wearing an abaya….LOL I’ve seen people covered in jewellery when wearing a abaya but isn’t this misuse of an abaya because a abaya for me is to cover up in a modest way and to avoid men getting ill intentions while looking at a girl, so wearing belts around your waist is showing your figure and dressing yourself up so really no point wearing an abaya if your going to wear it and dress like a Christmas tree…anyhow thanks for the comments

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(salam)

First of all where did racism come into it? :S no matter where you are your always going to get a few racist scum bags but surely its up to us to deal with it in a respectable matter and not being put off wearing an abaya….LOL I’ve seen people covered in jewellery when wearing a abaya but isn’t this misuse of an abaya because a abaya for me is to cover up in a modest way and to avoid men getting ill intentions while looking at a girl, so wearing belts around your waist is showing your figure and dressing yourself up so really no point wearing an abaya if your going to wear it and dress like a Christmas tree…anyhow thanks for the comments

LOL! ... be expecting some attacks for that comment soon :Hijabi:

Edited by ~*supplication*~

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